Jenna Bush Hager’s Austin Arrest Anniversary | Morning X July 16, 2026
Trevin & Sawyer In The Morning | Austin, TX | Thursday, July 16, 2026
🎙️ First Hour
First Portion Analysis
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Topics & Stories Covered
- Jenna Bush Hager’s 25th anniversary of her underage drinking arrest — Trevin and Sawyer riff on the Today Show, Trevin’s apparent familiarity with the show, and the news that JBH posted about the 25th anniversary of her 2001 arrest for underage drinking at an Austin bar. Debate over whether it happened at El Arroyo or Chewy’s on Barton Springs. Discussion of her using a fake ID as the sitting president’s daughter, and comparison to Malia Obama’s cigarette moment.
- Lance McCullers traded from the Houston Astros — Sawyer covers the trade of longtime Astros pitcher Lance McCullers Jr. to the Milwaukee Brewers, framed as mostly a salary dump ahead of the trade deadline. Acknowledgment of his famous 24-consecutive-curveball sequence in the 2017 ALCS Game 7, but heavy emphasis on his injury history and $100 million earned for only 53 career wins.
- Viral raccoon rescue on Town Lake — Two Austin men named Tucker and Owen were paddleboarding during a torrential rainstorm and rescued a drowning raccoon. The raccoon rode under Tucker on the paddleboard to stay dry, then bolted without acknowledgment once it hit shore. Led into a discussion about raccoons vs. possums as pets, legality of owning raccoons in Texas, and whether possums can carry rabies (they cannot).
- Florida woman receives “SQZ-A55” license plate — 71-year-old Nancy Dello Stritto of Pompano Beach received the plate upon registration renewal and was initially furious. Her friends voted 16-to-1 to keep it. Light comedic commentary from both hosts.
- New York school deploying a humanoid robot teacher named “Sally” — The Salamanca City Central School District in Western New York will use a humanoid robot called Sally as a classroom support aide. The robot is made by RealBotics — the same company that manufactures the RealDoll hyper-realistic sex doll. The hosts note the company claims zero overlap between the two product teams. Sally’s AI-generated image is described as looking like a robotic Kacey Musgraves, drawing comparisons to the horror movie *M3GAN*.
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Austin/Texas News Stories
- Jenna Bush Hager arrest anniversary — The incident occurred in Austin in 2001. Discussion pinpoints the location debate between El Arroyo and Chewy’s on Barton Springs Road, and references an earlier TABC bust on Dirty 6th Street. Jenna was attending UT at the time.
- Raccoon rescue on Town Lake — Two Austin locals going viral on Instagram for rescuing a raccoon while paddleboarding during a storm on Lady Bird Lake/Town Lake.
- Raccoons illegal as pets in Texas — Brief mention of Texas law prohibiting raccoon ownership.
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Sports Topics
- Houston Astros — Lance McCullers trade — Traded to the Milwaukee Brewers in what Sawyer characterizes as a salary-clearing move ahead of the trade deadline. Sawyer’s overall tone: good riddance, citing chronic injuries and outsized contract ($100M career earnings, 53 wins). Nostalgic nod to his 2017 ALCS heroics.
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Austin Events / Local Happenings
- Viral Town Lake paddleboard raccoon rescue — Tucker and Owen gaining Instagram traction for their storm-day rescue of a drowning raccoon on Town Lake.
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Funny Bits, Debates & Memorable Exchanges
- Trevin vs. Sawyer on the Today Show — Sawyer roasts Trevin for watching the Today Show at home and piping it into the studio. Trevin’s defense: “It’s just on.” Sawyer: “You’re bringing your home life in here.” Running bit about Trevin not knowing Jenna Bush Hager despite allegedly watching every day.
- “I don’t keep up with white women that look the exact same” — Sawyer’s explanation for not recognizing Jenna Bush Hager early in their friendship, referencing the “I want to speak to the manager” haircut and the Kate Gosselin comparison. One of the more quotable lines of the segment.
- Secret Service margarita bit — Trevin riffs that the Secret Service should have just mixed Jenna a margarita in the suburban rather than letting her use a fake ID at Chewy’s. Sawyer says he’d be furious if Secret Service gave his daughter alcohol. Trevin: “Wouldn’t you rather them than Chewy’s?”
- Raccoon ingratitude — Extended comedic treatment of Tucker’s heartfelt quote about the raccoon feeling safe under him, immediately undercut by the raccoon vanishing without so much as a head nod. Sawyer: “No raccoon head nod. None.”
- Possum vs. raccoon ownership debate — Sawyer reveals his wife wants a raccoon (illegal in Texas), while Sawyer himself wants a possum. Trevin is skeptical. Sawyer makes the case: possums eat ticks and fleas, can’t get rabies. Offer extended to any listener who brings a possum to the studio in exchange for tickets.
- RealBotics / RealDoll reveal — The moment Trevin drops that the company making the classroom robot Sally also makes hyper-realistic sex dolls lands as a clear comedic highlight. Sawyer: “Surely nothing’s going to go wrong there.”
- Mrs. Shank — Trevin closes the segment reminiscing about his notoriously mean third-grade teacher whose name happened to be Mrs. Shank, getting a big reaction from Sawyer.
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Summary
The first portion of the July 16 Morning X opens with a lively back-and-forth about Jenna Bush Hager’s social media acknowledgment of the 25th anniversary of her famous underage drinking arrest in Austin, when she was a UT student during the early days of her father’s presidency. Trevin and Sawyer debate the exact location — El Arroyo vs. Chewy’s on Barton Springs — and riff on the absurdity of the president’s daughter using a fake ID while surrounded by Secret Service. The segment has strong Austin local flavor, leaning into the city’s institutional familiarity with both venues and the original 2001 incident.
Sports coverage briefly pivots to the Houston Astros, where Sawyer delivers a largely unsentimental farewell to pitcher Lance McCullers Jr., traded to Milwaukee in what reads as a salary dump before the deadline. Despite acknowledging McCullers’ iconic 2017 ALCS performance, Sawyer’s bottom line is blunt: too many injuries, too much money, not enough wins. The segment moves quickly, suggesting the trade is seen more as roster housekeeping than a significant loss for the franchise.
The back half of this portion leans hard into oddball news and banter. The Town Lake raccoon rescue story — two Austin paddleboarders saving a drowning raccoon in a storm, only for it to vanish without a thank-you — becomes an extended bit about wildlife, Texas law, and Sawyer’s surprising preference for possums as pets. The national headlines segment covers a Florida woman’s accidentally obscene license plate and a New York school district’s humanoid robot teacher, with the latter producing the segment’s biggest comedic moment: the revelation that robot teacher Sally is manufactured by RealBotics, the same company behind the RealDoll sex doll line.
⏰ Second Hour
Morning X — Transcript Analysis (approx. 00:12:41–00:23:17)
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Topics Covered
- AI/robot teacher story (closing moments of a prior discussion)
- 2026 ESPY Awards recap
- Hot Summer Nights event promotion and live broadcast preview
- Smashing Pumpkins ticket giveaway
- Morning X Headlines: sugar molecule discovered in space
- Austin events rundown (Hot Summer Nights, Round Rock Express, Antone’s anniversary, World Cup Final)
- 2026 FIFA World Cup — England elimination, Argentina vs. Spain Final preview
- Pop culture: Hollywood Reporter “Slopface” / homogeneous male celebrity look piece
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Austin & Texas News
- Hot Summer Nights (Red River Cultural District, presented by Marshall and ReSound) is happening tonight through the weekend — described as “the summer version of free week,” all free to attend at multiple Red River venues
- Round Rock Express host the Las Vegas affiliate Friday through Sunday at Dell Diamond [00:19:03]
- Antone’s 51st anniversary celebrations ongoing; two sets of Hard Proof performing tomorrow night at Radio East [00:19:12]
- Trevin admits he still hasn’t visited the new Antone’s location [00:19:26]
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Sports Takes & Predictions
- 2026 ESPYs (held the prior night): Sawyer reports Jalen Brunson won Best Championship Performance — Sawyer calls it “recency bias” [00:13:33]; Steph Curry won the Muhammad Ali Sports Humanitarian Award [00:13:36]
- Confusion over Best NBA Player: Sawyer says ESPN appeared to flip the winner from Victor Wembanyama to Jalen Brunson, prompting both hosts to side with Wimby [00:14:01–00:14:18]
- World Cup Semifinal: England eliminated by Argentina 2–1; hosts joke the manager needs to be sacked immediately [00:20:33–00:20:50]
- World Cup Final preview — Argentina vs. Spain (Sunday): Sawyer notes Argentina scored 2 goals before the 79th minute and 9 goals after the 79th minute in the knockout stage, arguing no team can sit back defensively against them [00:21:28–00:21:50]; Sawyer predicts Argentina to win [00:21:24]
- Sawyer references the viral photo allegedly showing Messi washing baby Lamine Yamal in a tub — calls it a hoax [00:21:05–00:21:24]
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Austin Music, Venues & Events
- Hot Summer Nights at the Mohawk tonight: Trevin and Sawyer broadcasting live 4–7 PM [00:14:35]
- Outdoor stage: Annabelle Chairlegs, Leopold and His Fiction, Me Like Bees, Stale Fish
- Indoor: SAP (or “Sap”), Parker Woodland, Midnight Beverage [00:15:01–00:15:16]
- Smashing Pumpkins at Moody Center, October 25th — “Rats in a Cage Tour,” celebrating *Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness* plus nearly four decades of material; no opener confirmed; two unique sets [00:15:44–00:16:26]
- Tickets bundled with a 3-day pass to Texas Games Fest at the Palmer Center (the following weekend) [00:15:52–00:15:57]
- Caller X contest running at 512-835-1015 [00:16:29]
- Antone’s 51st anniversary — Hard Proof at Radio East, Friday night [00:19:12]
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Funny Bits & Memorable Host Moments
- Sawyer jokes that erythrulose (the space sugar molecule) is why his arms “always taste so good” [00:16:59]
- Sawyer riffs: “Scientists then chugged a bunch of Mountain Dews and claimed they found a high fructose corn syrup colony on Mars” — Trevin responds: “You’re going to have a fat NASA” [00:18:07]
- Hosts coin “Soupy Summer Nights” as an alternate name for Hot Summer Nights given the oppressive Austin humidity, after Trevin notes the Speedy Stop windows were fogged up from the heat outside [00:14:38–00:14:57]
- Sawyer teases his World Cup Final prediction, refusing to reveal it during the events segment: “You’ll have to stick around for when we do sports” [00:19:46–00:19:53]
- The “Slopface” bit: Sawyer calls Trevin “Slopface,” Trevin protests — turns out it’s a term from a Hollywood Reporter article, not a personal insult [00:21:54–00:22:06]
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Pop Culture & National Topics
- Hollywood Reporter “Slopface” article: Today’s male movie stars (Timothée Chalamet, Paul Mescal, Callum Turner, Josh O’Connor) are argued to share a homogeneous, chiseled look, lacking the individuality of older stars like Al Pacino, Nick Cage, Meryl Streep, and Sandra Bullock [00:22:07–00:23:17]
- Sawyer compares them to Amy’s Ice Cream vanilla varieties — technically different flavors, but “still just vanilla” [00:22:55–00:23:05]
- Space sugar discovery: Scientists using two telescopes in Spain detected erythrulose — a complex sugar molecule — in a large gas cloud near the Milky Way; notable because it could potentially be converted to sustain human life [00:17:02–00:17:57]
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Summary
This portion opens with the tail end of a conversation about an AI robot teacher, with the hosts reacting with skepticism and humor to a school district spending $57,000 on the technology. The segment transitions into the Morning X Sports block, where Sawyer covers the 2026 ESPY Awards with evident confusion — he notes that ESPN appeared to change the Best NBA Player winner from Victor Wembanyama to Jalen Brunson mid-broadcast, and both hosts agree Wimby deserved it. The show then pivots to promoting the evening’s live broadcast from the Mohawk for Hot Summer Nights, with Trevin and Sawyer coining “Soupy Summer Nights” as a more accurate description of Austin’s punishing July humidity, illustrated by Trevin’s foggy Speedy Stop windows on his taco run that morning.
The Morning X Headlines segment features a genuinely interesting science story — erythrulose, a type of sugar, has been detected in a gas cloud near the Milky Way using telescopes in Spain — which Sawyer promptly derails into jokes about Mountain Dew and a “fat NASA.” The events rundown covers the full Hot Summer Nights lineup at the Mohawk, the Round Rock Express homestand at Dell Diamond, Antone’s ongoing 51st anniversary celebrations, and Sunday’s FIFA World Cup Final between Argentina and Spain. Smashing Pumpkins tickets are being given away via Caller X for an October 25th Moody Center show on the “Rats in a Cage Tour,” bundled with passes to the Texas Games Fest.
The back half of the segment is dominated by World Cup talk, with Sawyer revealing Argentina knocked out England 2–1 in the semifinal and making a confident case for Argentina to win the Final on Sunday, citing their remarkable late-game scoring stats in the knockout rounds. The hosts also weigh in on the viral Messi-washing-baby-Yamal photo (Sawyer calls it a hoax), and close with a pop culture discussion sparked by a Hollywood Reporter piece about the homogeneous look of today’s leading men — Chalamet, Mescal, Turner, and O’Connor — which Sawyer memorably summarizes using Amy’s Ice Cream vanilla flavors as an analogy.
🏁 Final Hour
Final Segment Analysis — “Trevin & Sawyer In The Morning” | July 16, 2026
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Topics Covered
- Hollywood beauty standards and the “homogenization” of celebrity looks
- Tom Cruise’s teeth evolution and Scientology jokes (“Scientoothology”)
- Morning X Headlines: Zara wide-leg pants causing women to fall and injure themselves (“Death Pants”)
- James Franco’s alien claims on Instagram/TikTok and recap of his 2018 misconduct scandal
- Dave Franco vs. James Franco household allegiance
- Mention of Sawyer mispronouncing “homogeneous” as “homogenius”
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Final Austin Event Recommendation
- Hot Summer Nights at Mohawk — Trevin and Sawyer will be broadcasting live on-air from 4:00–7:00 PM
- Artists mentioned: Annabelle Chairlegs, Leopold and His Fiction, others on inside and outside stages
- Food & drink specials highlighted: Pallones (across from Stubb’s) offering a Dos Equis and taco for ~$8; shot and beer combos at other venues
- Pizza specials also reportedly available
- Trevin offered to personally tip listeners off on where to get pizza if they find him at the event
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Closing News / Public Service Moment
- Both hosts paused to acknowledge severe flooding in Central Texas / Hill Country
- Issued a sincere reminder: “Turn around, don’t drown”
- Noted the community would need help and pledged to do what they can
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Guests or Callers
- Social media producer/overlord (unnamed) briefly appeared in-studio, referenced as a “sometimes co-host” who came in pushing a National Hot Dog Day bit idea and was compared jokingly to director David O. Russell for her directorial energy
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Funny Closing Moments & Memorable Quotes
- “Scientoothology” — Sawyer’s instant coinage after Trevin’s Tom Cruise teeth observation; immediately acknowledged as brilliant
- “I’m a homo genius” — Sawyer’s mangled attempt at “homogeneous,” which Trevin immediately clocked and vowed to never let go
- On James Franco claiming things were “thrust upon him”: *”A guy that got accused of sexual misconduct talking about things being thrust upon him”* — Trevin, deadpan
- On Franco’s film *Palo Alto* being about a teacher sleeping with a student: *”Sometimes it’d be right in front of you”*
- Trevin issued a pre-emptive “good job by you” to Sawyer, then had to take it back when Sawyer zoned out watching TV mid-show
- Zara pants windy day joke: *”If you wear these Zara pants on a windy day and some roller skates, you can get wherever you want to go. It’s like a sail pant.”*
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How the Show Wrapped Up
The show closed on a mix of laughs and sincerity. After the James Franco discussion wound down, Trevin and Sawyer reminded listeners they’d be back on air that same afternoon (4–7 PM) for Hot Summer Nights at Mohawk, hyping the food specials and live music. They made a point to remind the audience to tip service workers and gave a genuine, sober shoutout to those affected by Central Texas flooding. The final moments featured light ribbing about Sawyer’s word fumbles, a shoutout to the show’s Instagram accounts, and a brief cameo from their social media producer before signing off with *”We’ll see you at four. Mohawk, be there.”*
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3-Paragraph Summary
The final segment of *Trevin & Sawyer In The Morning* opened with a freewheeling riff on Hollywood beauty standards and the pressure on celebrities to conform to a polished, surgically enhanced look. This led to a deep dive on Tom Cruise’s teeth pre- and post-1995, which Trevin pinpointed as the moment “they replaced Tom Cruise with the actual robot that L. Ron Hubbard had been working on all those years.” Sawyer’s instant coinage of “Scientoothology” was one of the segment’s clear highlights, and his subsequent fumbling of “homogeneous” into “homo genius” became a running gag Trevin clearly had no intention of dropping.
The headlines segment covered two pop culture stories: the viral trend of women tripping and injuring themselves in wide-leg Zara pants (dubbed “Death Pants”), complete with a Toronto woman’s story of a broken wrist, cracked face, and shattered Apple Watch; and James Franco’s strange Instagram/TikTok re-emergence claiming aliens are appearing at his house. Trevin walked through Franco’s fall from grace — the acting school misconduct allegations, the falling out with Seth Rogen, and the irony of his last major film *Palo Alto* being about a teacher sleeping with a student — while Sawyer added color commentary and the obligatory “allegedly” when things got legally spicy.
The show wrapped with genuine warmth and local purpose. Trevin and Sawyer teased their Hot Summer Nights live broadcast at Mohawk (4–7 PM), hyped the food and drink specials at nearby venues, and urged listeners to tip their bartenders and servers. In a notably sincere moment, both hosts paused to acknowledge the Central Texas flooding, urging listeners not to drive through floodwaters. The final minutes dissolved into affectionate chaos — Sawyer distracted by the TV, the social media producer swooping in with National Hot Dog Day demands, and Trevin struggling to get a clean sign-off — before they landed on a simple, warm *”We’ll see you at four. Mohawk, be there.”*
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Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Trevin Smith and Sawyer Stull. Morning X — 101X Austin, TX.
