The Musers — 2025-05-17
The Musers — 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Saturday, May 17, 2025
📋 Segments This Day
- E-Brake
- Shorty DeFazio
- The Observation Deck
🎙️ Early Show Analysis
Segments in this portion:
- E-Brake [00:00:01-00:09:57] — The Emergency Brake of the Week segment featuring three candidates from their recent compound broadcast, with listener voting
E-Brake segment:
The E-Brake featured three candidates from their “Tequila Voltaio Muser’s Ticket compound” broadcast:
- Donnie and the Famous Chicken [00:01:35] — Late-night conversation about the San Diego chicken representing the Mavericks at the NBA draft lottery, with Donnie laughing uncontrollably at the absurd scenario
- Smokes and Corby [00:03:51] — A racially charged conversation involving caller “Smokes” that went off the rails with inappropriate comments
- George and Bob’s Prayer [00:05:32] — George making jokes about Bob praying before bed, saying “Jesus, thank you for giving the world me”
Sports topics discussed:
- Mavericks: NBA draft lottery discussion in the context of the Famous Chicken bit [00:01:54]
- Stars: Referenced Bob’s reaction to Stars winning Game 4, and a Canadian caller mentioning Stars losing in his hometown [00:05:39, 00:09:31]
Funny moments, Gordo bits, or memorable quotes:
- Donnie’s uncontrollable laughter during the Famous Chicken NBA draft lottery scenario [00:03:25-00:03:40]
- George’s mock prayer for Bob: “Jesus, thank you for giving the world me” followed by “Amen” [00:06:14-00:06:43]
- The description of Bob sleeping “like a rock for two hours” after his 15-second prayer [00:07:02]
Phone callers:
- E-break man and Bloody Murder Girl [00:07:47] — Voted for Donnie in a duet call
- Ashley [00:08:09] — Voted for George, wished good day at school
- Anonymous caller [00:08:25] — Called George “Windy City Whopper” and voted for him
- Cooper Flagg’s brother “Closet” [00:08:57] — Voted for Smokes, vote questioned by hosts
- Scott from Manitoba [00:09:24] — Canadian caller upset about Stars losing, made inappropriate Cowboys comment
The E-Brake segment showcased the chaotic aftermath of The Ticket’s compound broadcast, featuring three cringe-worthy moments that epitomized when radio programming goes completely off the rails. The first candidate featured Donnie dissolving into uncontrollable laughter over an absurd scenario involving the San Diego Chicken representing the Mavericks at the NBA draft lottery, complete with the chicken laying a panic egg with the number one pick.
The second candidate involved a conversation between caller “Smokes” and Corby that devolved into racially charged territory, with Corby making assumptions about what the caller could or couldn’t say based on his race, leading to extremely uncomfortable radio. The third option featured George’s irreverent joke about Bob’s nightly prayer routine, imagining Bob thanking Jesus “for giving the world me” before immediately falling asleep.
Throughout the voting segment, the hosts dealt with their usual cast of eccentric callers, including the recurring “E-break man” paired with “Bloody Murder Girl,” and a Canadian caller who was still smarting from the Stars’ playoff loss. The entire segment captured the essence of The Ticket’s blend of sports talk and complete absurdity, with George acknowledging the compound had been essentially a “72-hour e-brake” of non-stop chaos.
⏰ Mid-Show Analysis
Segments in this portion:
- Shorty DeFazio (00:00:00): A memorabilia expert character visits the studio to discuss unusual sports items for sale, focusing on compound-related memorabilia and current sports topics like Cooper Flagg and the NBA draft
Phone callers:
- Brady Tom (00:10:15): Called to vote for the Colorado Rockies in some kind of contest, mentioned he couldn’t get through to someone at “the compound” the other night
- Pico Rantanen (00:10:43): Voted for “Fumar Smokes” with enthusiastic repetition
- Jehovah’s crews in Lido (00:11:17): Congratulated the hosts on their compound event and cast a vote
Funny moments, Gordo bits, or memorable one-liners:
- Shorty DeFazio’s absurd memorabilia items including a “Babe Ruth autographed glass colostomy bag” and the story of a customer breaking it
- Bob Sturm prayer parody (00:11:56): “Dear me, Jesus, thank you for giving the world me” followed by discussion of his sleeping habits
- Various inappropriate and absurd memorabilia items with ridiculous authentication (CIA, Earl Warren IV, ghost of Shoeless Joe Jackson)
- The “Scissor Sisters” WNBA scrapbooking DVD bit
- Escalating prices for different athletes’ game-worn shorts ($100 for Cooper Flagg vs $300 for Paige Becker’s)
Sports topics discussed:
- NBA Draft: Discussion of both Dallas professional basketball teams having number one overall picks, conspiracy theories about weighted ping pong balls
- Cooper Flagg: Upcoming draft prospect, memorabilia related to his Duke career
- Stars playoff run: Referenced in opening
- WNBA: Caitlin Clark and Paige Becker mentioned in memorabilia context
Summary:
This portion of The Musers featured the recurring character Shorty DeFazio, a memorabilia expert from the Northeast who runs a shop called “Hey That’s an Unusual Item.” The segment was classic Gordo absurdist humor, with DeFazio offering increasingly bizarre and inappropriate sports memorabilia for sale, from compound-related items like Davey Lane’s hospital release papers to Bob Sturm’s prayer book filled with pictures of himself.
The show took several phone calls from listeners voting in some kind of contest, including the memorable “Pico Rantanen” character enthusiastically voting for “Fumar Smokes.” There was also discussion about George’s eBreak wins, with him now at 108 total wins and 31 behind the all-time leader Norman Smokes Hitzkiss. A particularly funny segment emerged around Bob Sturm, with the hosts doing an impression of his nightly prayer routine.
The sports content centered around the unusual situation of both Dallas professional basketball teams having number one draft picks, with Cooper Flagg being the likely selection. DeFazio’s memorabilia offerings became increasingly outrageous, touching on the NBA draft, WNBA players, and Stars playoff items, all with absurd authentication and pricing that showcased The Ticket’s trademark blend of sports talk and comedy.
🏁 Final Hour Analysis
Segments in this portion:
- The Observation Deck [00:00:00] — Gordo’s segment where he shares observations from watching a Stars hockey game, leading to a discussion about why NHL hockey hasn’t gained more popularity in Dallas and the South despite having passionate fans.
Sports topics discussed in this portion:
- NHL hockey and Dallas Stars playoff game analysis [00:00:00]
- Discussion of hockey’s popularity challenges in the South [00:00:35]
- Comparison of Stars’ social media following vs Cowboys/Mavericks [00:07:42]
- Hockey as an expensive, inaccessible sport for kids [00:08:09]
- Stars’ current talented roster and championship potential [00:08:43]
- Specific game moments including Jamie Benn’s fight [00:06:35]
- Upcoming Game 6 between Stars and Winnipeg Jets [00:12:56]
Strong predictions or bold takes:
- George predicts Stars following will grow significantly over next 10 years due to generational change [00:02:34]
- Junior believes Stars will have sustained decade-long success with current young talent [00:08:43]
Funny moments or memorable Gordo bits:
- Gordo jokingly asking for free glass seats while threatening to read a book with earplugs during the game [00:12:00]
- His suggestion that players should decorate their own helmets like goalies [00:11:28]
- Gordo’s confusion about hockey scoring randomness vs goalie skill [00:09:21]
- His comparison of random hockey goals to Jose Canseco’s head-bounce home run [00:10:24]
How the show wrapped up:
The segment ended with Gordo realizing he had misunderstood the game result – the Stars actually lost to Winnipeg, meaning there would be a Game 6 the next day [00:12:52].
Summary:
This final portion featured Gordo’s “Observation Deck” segment, where he analyzed his experience watching the Stars’ playoff game and questioned why hockey hasn’t achieved greater popularity in Dallas despite having incredibly passionate fans. His outsider’s perspective on the sport’s confusing nature and scoring randomness sparked an engaging discussion with George and Junior about hockey’s growth potential in Texas.
The hosts provided compelling counterpoints to Gordo’s observations, with George arguing that hockey’s following is larger than perceived and will continue growing generationally, citing the 2020 Winter Classic’s 80,000+ attendance as evidence. Junior supported this with social media statistics showing the Stars trailing significantly behind the Cowboys and Mavericks in followers, but noted the current team’s exceptional talent could drive a decade-long successful run.
The conversation highlighted hockey’s unique challenges in the American South – from being an expensive, facility-dependent sport to its seemingly random scoring that can frustrate newcomers. Despite these barriers, the hosts remained optimistic about hockey’s trajectory in Dallas, especially with the current Stars roster’s championship potential and the sport’s growing accessibility to younger generations who didn’t grow up exclusively with football, basketball, and baseball.
Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.
