The Musers — 2025-08-13
The Musers — 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Wednesday, August 13, 2025
📋 Segments This Day
- Observation Deck
- Worst Day of the Year – The Musers The Sweet Spot 8122025
- Movie Theater Talk
- Observation Deck
- Deep Throat
🎙️ Early Show Analysis
Segments in this portion:
Observation Deck [00:00:00-00:14:31]
- Gordo’s segment featuring fan mail, listener stories, and his “count the red flags” game
- Included discussion of a typewritten fan letter, food service hygiene issues, tip culture, and a bizarre Seattle crime story
Worst Day of the Year – The Musers The Sweet Spot [00:00:00-00:09:57]
- Craig Miller’s annual presentation of his survival guide for the “worst moment of the year” (second Tuesday of August at 2 p.m.)
- Updated for 2025 with new tips and continued into The Sweet Spot show
Debates or strong opinions expressed by the hosts:
- Food service hygiene [00:04:04-00:06:15]: Discussion about workers using same gloves for handling money and food, with hosts agreeing this is unsanitary
- Tip culture criticism [00:06:59-00:08:59]: Hosts expressed frustration about increasing tip percentages (now 20-30% instead of 10-20%) and tips not going to workers
- Pizza toppings [00:06:45-00:07:02]: George against honey drizzle on pizza, Junior neutral but finds it weird
Funny moments, Gordo bits, or memorable quotes:
- Gordo’s grocery store revelation [00:12:32-00:13:54]: Gordo admitted finding women in grocery stores particularly attractive because it seems “feminine and maternal,” leading to awkward exchanges with George and Craig
- “Count the red flags” game [00:09:04-00:14:26]: Featured a Seattle man who was arrested for “humping a refrigerator” and threatening people with a knife, with Gordo making puns about the suspect being “bananas” and “fruit loops”
- Jarred urine survival tip [00:04:34-00:05:41]: Craig’s absurd recommendation to drink your own jarred urine during the “worst moment of the year,” with detailed explanations about contamination risks
Recurring bits, characters, or inside jokes referenced:
- “Count the red flags”: Gordo’s regular segment analyzing bizarre news stories
- Observation Deck: Gordo’s regular segment covering various topics
- “Worst Day of the Year”: Craig Miller’s annual bit about the second Tuesday in August at 2 p.m.
- Norm Hitzges pizza reference: Multiple mentions of Norm’s famous advice to Bill Parcells about having pizza
- George’s aversion to Gordo’s content: Running joke about George hating Gordo’s segments
Summary:
The Observation Deck segment showcased classic Musers dynamics, beginning with Gordo reading a heartfelt typewritten fan letter from criminal defense attorney Andrew Huey. This led to discussions about food service hygiene problems at burrito establishments, where workers use the same gloves for handling money and food. The hosts also complained about the increasing pressure and percentages in tip culture, noting that many tips don’t actually reach the workers.
Gordo’s “count the red flags” game featured a bizarre Seattle incident involving a man who was arrested for engaging in sexual acts with a refrigerator, threatening customers with a knife, and throwing produce around a grocery store. This story prompted Gordo to make an uncomfortable admission about finding women in grocery stores particularly attractive, leading to awkward moments with his co-hosts who quickly tried to move past his oversharing.
The second segment featured Craig Miller’s annual “Worst Day of the Year” presentation, his tongue-in-cheek survival guide for getting through the second Tuesday in August at 2 p.m. His updated 2025 tips included hunkering down in safe spaces, surrounding yourself with loved ones, listening to The Ticket, keeping jarred urine handy (his most absurd suggestion), and eating pizza with trendy toppings like honey drizzle. The segment continued into The Sweet Spot show, where Craig joined as a special guest to shepherd listeners through the supposedly worst moment of the year, maintaining The Ticket’s tradition of turning mundane observations into elaborate comedy bits.
⏰ Mid-Show Analysis
Segments in this portion:
Worst Day of the Year – The Musers (9:58-20:12)
A recurring comedic bit where Junior leads the team through surviving the “worst moment of the year” (2 PM on a specific day in August). The hosts prepare with supplies like jarred urine, pizza, and magazines, then dramatically react as they “survive” the moment with reports of tremors, self-doubt, and minor chaos.
Movie Theater Talk (0:00-9:22)
Discussion about the hosts’ movie theater attendance habits and reviews of recent films, particularly focusing on the new Naked Gun remake and Mission Impossible: Final Reckoning.
Funny moments, Gordo bits, or memorable one-liners:
From Worst Day segment:
- Junior’s elaborate preparation instructions including “fresh jarred urine” and reading “Backyard Poultry Spring 2025” magazine
- George taking his pants off for “safety” during the worst moment
- Junior reporting “extreme self doubt” and “every decision I had made in my life was a complete failure” at exactly 2 PM
- Discussion of urine aging like “sourdough starter” and not consuming urine older than 6 months
- Junior fielding fake media interview requests immediately after surviving
From Movie Theater segment:
- George walking out of Mission Impossible with 20-30 minutes left, calling it “the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen”
- Gordo strategically arriving 30 minutes late to movies to skip all the previews
Pop culture, music, or non-sports topics discussed:
- Movie reviews: New Naked Gun remake (George rated 4/10, Gordo 6/10) and Mission Impossible: Final Reckoning (George 6/10)
- Theater attendance patterns: Most hosts haven’t been to theaters in years, with parenthood being a major factor
- Movie industry critique: Discussion of movies prioritizing profit over quality, referencing Apple TV’s “The Studio”
- Rotten Tomatoes ratings: Naked Gun at 89% critics/75% audience, Mission Impossible around 80%
- Movie theater experience: 30 minutes of previews before films, impact on viewing experience
Summary:
This portion of The Musers showcased the show’s signature blend of absurdist comedy and genuine discussion. The “Worst Day of the Year” segment demonstrated Junior’s creative comedic leadership as he guided the team through an elaborate survival scenario, complete with jarred urine, house tremors, and existential dread, all delivered with the hosts’ characteristic commitment to the bit’s internal logic.
The movie theater discussion revealed interesting generational and lifestyle divides among the hosts, with parenthood clearly impacting theater attendance for several members. George and Gordo’s contrasting opinions on recent blockbusters highlighted how subjective entertainment preferences can be, even among longtime colleagues.
The conversation evolved into broader commentary about the current state of Hollywood, touching on the tension between artistic integrity and commercial success. George’s observation that studios are prioritizing profit over quality resonated with his personal disappointment in recent theatrical experiences, suggesting that even casual moviegoers are noticing a decline in substance despite high production values and Rotten Tomatoes scores.
🏁 Final Hour Analysis
What segments appeared in this portion?
- Observation Deck [00:00:00-00:12:08]: Gordo’s segment about people covering mirrors in their bedrooms to keep out evil spirits, based on TikTok superstitions. Discussion evolved into whether objects carry negative energy from their past.
- Deep Throat [00:00:00-00:06:13]: A satirical “insider report” from the Netflix Cowboys documentary Hollywood premiere, featuring an anonymous source describing Jerry Jones’ alleged outrageous behavior at the event.
What sports topics were discussed in this portion?
- Cowboys-related content through the Deep Throat segment about Jerry Jones and the Netflix documentary “America’s Team, The Gambler and His Cowboys” about the 1990s Cowboys
- Brief mention of Michael Irvin in the satirical premiere story
Were there any funny moments or memorable Gordo bits?
- Mirror superstitions discussion [00:01:01]: Gordo explaining TikTok theories about covering bedroom mirrors to prevent evil spirits from entering
- Billy Bob Thornton antique phobia [00:03:31]: Reference to the actor’s fear of old objects carrying negative energy
- “Firsthand” vs new items [00:08:06]: Gordo questioning why we don’t call new things “firsthand” instead of just “new”
- Entire Deep Throat segment: Absurdist reporting of Jerry Jones’ fictional misbehavior at the premiere, including references to him and Jerry Jr. dressed like “Big Enos and Little Enos,” calling Gene a “square-faced, homunculus garden gnome,” and the escalating chaos
Any final notable quotes or moments?
- George on superstitions [00:10:42]: “We got enough problems not to worry about what happened 75 years ago”
- Deep Throat climax [00:05:52]: “Jerry Jones, king of the sports world, all alone in an alleyway, crying. Because he was so happy to finally be rid of his family”
- Craig’s movie philosophy [00:16:08]: “Movie watching is a sport. And this is a sports station”
Provide a 3-paragraph summary of this final portion of the show.
This final portion opened with an extended discussion about movies and Hollywood, touching on the decline of quality filmmaking and the dominance of superhero franchises. The hosts debated whether studios prioritize spectacle over storytelling, with references to Mission Impossible and upcoming releases. They noted that despite streaming dominance, theater attendance is actually recovering to pre-pandemic levels, particularly among younger demographics, though the older generation has largely moved away from theatrical experiences.
Gordo’s Observation Deck segment explored modern superstitions spreading through TikTok, specifically the belief that bedroom mirrors facing beds allow evil spirits to enter. The discussion expanded into whether objects carry negative energy from their past, with Gordo sharing his fascination with researching the dark histories of old houses in his former neighborhood. The hosts debated the ethics of sharing such information with friends and whether there’s any validity to these supernatural concerns, with Craig taking a “better safe than sorry” approach while George remained skeptical.
The show concluded with a satirical Deep Throat segment purporting to reveal Jerry Jones’ outrageous behavior at the Netflix Cowboys documentary premiere. The anonymous “informant” described increasingly absurd scenarios involving Jerry’s family dysfunction, public intoxication, and inappropriate outbursts during the screening. This comedic bit served as both entertainment and commentary on the Cowboys owner’s public persona, ending with Jerry alone but paradoxically happy to be rid of his family responsibilities.
Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.
