The Musers — 2025-09-06
The Musers — 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Saturday, September 6, 2025
📋 Segments This Day
- E-Brake
- Observation Deck
- E-Brake
- Fake Jerry
- Fake Jerry
- Observation Deck
🎙️ Early Show Analysis
What segments appeared in this portion?
- E-Brake (Emergency Brake of the Week) – Weekly segment featuring on-air mistakes from Ticket personalities, with listener voting
- Observation Deck – Ryan Baldwin (filling in for Gordo) discussing observations from the Cowboys-Eagles game
Was there an “E-Brake” segment? If so, what was the story or topic?
- Three candidates competed for the weekly E-Brake award:
- EA (The Talking Bear) – Repeatedly mispronouncing Brent Musburger’s name as “Burt Musburger,” “Rent Musburger,” and “Burt Mershburger”
- Dave Lane – Excessive flatulence interrupting Corby’s live commercial read
- Matt McLaren – Confusing the name Malcolm Campbell with “Malcolm Campbell Powers” during sports history segment
- EA won his third E-Brake, putting him 136 behind all-time leader Norman Hitzges
What sports topics were discussed?
- Cowboys vs Eagles game analysis, including production issues during pregame ceremonies
- Discussion of Lincoln Financial Field as a quality venue for watching games
- Commentary on the spitting incident involving Jalen Carter and Dak Prescott during the game
Were there any debates or strong opinions expressed by the hosts?
- [00:05:52] – Discussion about whether Jalen Carter should be ejected for spitting
- [00:01:22] – Baldwin’s “boomer take” criticizing modern player intro bits like George Pickens saying he was from “Drip University”
- [00:07:45] – Criticism of the excessive pregame fashion show coverage when players arrive at stadiums
Were there any funny moments, Gordo bits, or memorable quotes?
- [00:05:27] Baldwin’s JFK assassination reference: “making Jalen Carter the man on the grassy knoll” regarding the spitting incident
- Multiple mispronunciations creating new drops: “Burt Mershburger”
- [00:04:21] Junior’s comment about the cart girl hearing fart drops: “I work for a really juvenile station”
Were there any phone callers?
- Real Piper – voted for Dave’s flatulence
- Smuffle the Bear – voted for “cousin EA Bear”
- Cruz and Lito – made Cowboys GM jokes, voted for EA
- Coco from Lower Heaven – voted for Dave’s “lower back bottom”
- Caller doing Eddie Vedder impression saying “Bert is a Mershberger”
- Trump impersonator – defended EA while criticizing George Dunham
- Ryan Nolan caller – suggested firing EA
Were there any recurring bits, characters, or inside jokes referenced?
- Multiple regular caller characters appeared (Real Piper, Smuffle the Bear, Coco)
- References to Norman Hitzges’ E-Brake record
- “The Talking Bear EA” nickname
- Various Ticket inside references and character voices
The E-Brake segment dominated this portion with EA’s hilarious struggle to pronounce Brent Musburger’s name correctly, cycling through “Burt,” “Rent,” and the memorable “Burt Mershburger.” The segment featured classic Ticket elements including regular callers doing character voices and the hosts’ juvenile sense of humor around Dave’s flatulence interrupting a live commercial.
Baldwin’s Observation Deck segment focused on production issues during the Cowboys-Eagles season opener, noting audio problems during the national anthem performances and his mixed feelings about modern NFL presentation elements. His commentary ranged from technical broadcast observations to cultural criticism about the league’s increasing focus on fashion and entertainment aspects over pure football content.
This portion exemplified The Ticket’s blend of sports talk and comedy, with the E-Brake providing pure entertainment value while the Observation Deck offered more substantive game analysis mixed with media criticism. The interplay between serious sports discussion and absurdist humor, particularly around EA’s verbal struggles, showcased the station’s unique approach to sports radio.
⏰ Mid-Show Analysis
Segments in this portion:
- E-Brake (00:00:01-00:12:12): The Emergency Brake of the Week segment featuring three candidates: EA struggling with legendary announcer Brent Musburger’s name (calling him “Burt Mershburger,” “Rent Musburger,” etc.), Dave Lane farting during Corby’s live commercial read, and Matt McLaren confusing “Malcolm Campbell” with “Malcolm Campbell Powers.” EA won the vote from listeners.
- Fake Jerry (00:00:00-00:05:35): Gordo’s impersonation of Cowboys owner Jerry Jones calling in after the Cowboys’ 24-20 loss to Philadelphia, complaining about the city, the weather delay, and various aspects of the game while making characteristically confused historical references.
Sports topics discussed:
- Cowboys vs Eagles game discussion (24-20 Eagles win) with analysis of the weather delay impact
- Reference to Micah Parsons being out for the Cowboys
- Discussion of Dak Prescott getting spit on during the game
- Brief mention of Cowboys starting 0-1 for the season
- Reference to the Eagles’ Super Bowl celebration from previous season
Phone callers:
- Multiple E-Brake voters including “Real Piper,” “Muffin the Bear” (voting for EA), Cruz from Lito (mentioning Cowboys fans and voting EA)
- Coco from “lower heaven” consulting with Ozzy Osbourne, voting for Dave
- Caller doing Trump impression praising EA
- “Ryan Nolan” asking when they’ll fire EA
Funny moments and memorable one-liners:
- EA’s complete butchering of Brent Musburger’s name: “Burt Mershburger”
- EA saying “He’s friends with the guy Mork. Mork and Burt”
- Dave Lane farting during live commercial: “My bottom said something”
- Fake Jerry: “Did you know that [Philadelphia] smells like unwashed crotch and street food?”
- Fake Jerry: “I was secretly singing Die, Eagle, Die”
- Fake Jerry on Boyz II Men: “boys to men is looking more like boys to grandpas”
Pop culture and non-sports topics:
- Discussion of Brent Musburger’s history with focusing on players’ girlfriends (AJ McCarron, Katherine Webb references)
- References to Boyz II Men performing the national anthem
- Mention of Bernie Taupin as a lyricist
- References to NBC announcers Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth
This portion of The Musers showcased classic Ticket content with the beloved E-Brake segment highlighting on-air mistakes, followed by one of Gordo’s signature character bits as Fake Jerry Jones. The E-Brake segment was particularly entertaining with EA’s struggle to pronounce Brent Musburger’s name becoming an instant classic moment. The phone callers added to the fun with various character voices and regular P1 contributors. Fake Jerry provided Gordo’s typical absurdist take on the Cowboys’ performance, mixing legitimate football observations with bizarre tangents about Philadelphia, family life, and historical confusion. The segments perfectly captured The Ticket’s blend of sports talk and comedy that has made the station a Dallas institution.
The Cowboys’ actual 0-1 start provided real fodder for discussion, though the hosts maintained their characteristic measured expectations rather than overreacting to one game. The weather delay from the actual game became both a legitimate talking point and comedic material, showing how the show transforms real sports events into entertainment content while still providing genuine sports analysis.
🏁 Final Hour Analysis
Segments in this portion:
Fake Jerry [00:05:38 – 00:07:45] – Gordo’s Jerry Jones impression discussing the Cowboys’ 24-20 loss to Philadelphia, ranting about the city of Philadelphia, criticizing CeeDee Lamb’s performance, and giving backhanded praise to coach “Shottie”
Observation Deck [00:00:00 – 00:10:49] – Ryan Baldwin filling in for Gordo, reviewing the broadcast production issues from the Eagles-Cowboys game including audio problems, Boyz II Men’s national anthem performance, and various pregame elements
Sports topics discussed in this portion:
- Cowboys’ 0-1 start after losing to Eagles 24-20 in Philadelphia
- CeeDee Lamb’s poor performance and dropped passes [00:06:13 – 00:06:50]
- Coach “Shottie’s” (presumably Brian Schottenheimer) performance in his debut
- Micah Parsons’ absence from the game [00:04:42 – 00:04:57]
- Jalen Carter spitting incident and ejection [00:05:14 – 00:06:07]
- Weather delay impact on the game [00:05:05 – 00:05:38]
Funny moments or memorable Gordo bits:
- Fake Jerry confusing historical facts about Philadelphia and Jesus founding America there [00:00:20 – 00:00:44]
- Jerry calling NBC’s broadcast team the “Me Too Hall of Fame team” and “hands team” [00:01:32 – 00:01:53]
- Extended rant about Philadelphia smelling like “unwashed crotch and street food” [00:00:44 – 00:00:56]
- Jerry describing walking through Philadelphia crowd as “chunky cheesesteak DNA sprinkler” [00:04:27 – 00:04:34]
- The line about CeeDee Lamb: “I’m just glad he’s catching something” (referring to catching grief vs. footballs) [00:06:13 – 00:06:26]
- Jerry claiming “we can lose with him or without him” regarding Micah Parsons [00:04:42 – 00:04:57]
Final notable quotes or moments:
- Fake Jerry’s closing assessment: “And all in all, I say it’s a pretty promising start to a below 500 season” [00:07:27 – 00:07:35]
- Ryan Baldwin on being entertained despite his cynicism: “It warmed the cockles of my heart. Not enough to actually get me excited for the season” [00:10:37 – 00:10:44]
Summary:
This final portion of The Musers opened with one of Gordo’s signature “Fake Jerry” segments, where his Jerry Jones impression delivered a scathing and hilarious critique of the Cowboys’ season-opening loss to Philadelphia. The bit was filled with Jerry’s trademark malapropisms and nonsensical historical references, including the bizarre claim that Jesus founded America in Philadelphia. The fake Jerry expressed particular frustration with CeeDee Lamb’s dropped passes, delivered in characteristically crude language about the city of Philadelphia, and gave grudging praise to the new coach while predicting a below-.500 season.
The show then transitioned to the Observation Deck segment with Ryan Baldwin filling in for Gordo, focusing on the numerous production issues that plagued NBC’s broadcast of the season opener. Baldwin detailed audio problems during the black national anthem, critiqued Boyz II Men’s shaky performance of the national anthem (comparing it to the infamous Carl Lewis rendition), and discussed the hour-long weather delay that disrupted the game’s flow. The segment also touched on the Jalen Carter spitting incident and various pregame elements that felt overdone.
Throughout both segments, there was an underlying theme of the Cowboys providing just enough entertainment to be engaging without generating real optimism for the season ahead. Baldwin’s closing observation captured the mood perfectly – football was back and it was entertaining enough to “warm the cockles” of even a cynic’s heart, but not enough to generate genuine excitement for what lies ahead. The combination of Gordo’s absurdist Jerry Jones and Baldwin’s measured broadcast criticism provided a fitting wrap-up to what appears to have been a typically irreverent Musers show covering the Cowboys’ disappointing but not entirely hopeless season opener.
Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.
