The Musers — 2025-09-16
The Musers — 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Tuesday, September 16, 2025
📋 Segments This Day
- Fake Jerry The Musers 9152025
- Observation Deck The Musers 9152025
- Randy Cody The Musers 9122025
- E-Brake The Musers 9122025
- Observation Deck The Musers 9122025
🎙️ Early Show Analysis
Segments in this portion:
- Fake Jerry [00:00:00-07:12]: Jerry Jones (obviously Gordo doing the impression) discusses the Cowboys’ 40-37 overtime win over the Giants, including commentary on the team’s performance, player contracts, and injury updates
- Observation Deck [00:00:00-08:37]: Gordo’s segment discussing NFL announcers, a player’s turtle-themed jewelry, and extensive praise for Cowboys kicker Brandon Aubrey’s achievements and potential movie deal
Sports topics discussed:
Cowboys (primary focus):
- Cowboys’ 40-37 overtime victory over Giants [00:00:06]
- Defense struggled badly, described as “Swiss cheese on cleats” [00:01:51]
- Dak Prescott’s first interception of the season, with criticism of his play [00:02:40]
- C.D. Lamb, Javante Williams, and Brandon Aubrey praised for good performances [00:03:18]
- Secondary described as “disaster buffet” [00:04:04]
- Doron Bland injury update – out couple weeks [00:04:57]
- Signing of Jadeveon Clowney for pass rush help [00:05:47]
- Tyler Smith contract extension worth $96 million [00:06:21]
- Upcoming Bears game mentioned [00:06:46]
- Extended discussion of Brandon Aubrey’s records and achievements [00:05:01-08:14]
NFL Broadcasting:
- Discussion ranking NFL announce teams: Joe Buck/Troy Aikman as best, followed by Tirico/Collinsworth, then Joe Davis/Greg Olsen [00:01:11]
Funny moments and memorable quotes:
- Jerry Jones describing the game as “like watching Jerry Jr. try to put together a ten-piece puzzle” [00:00:31]
- “Owner GM defibrillator paddles” installed in Jerry’s suite [00:01:05]
- Jerry and Jerry Jr. both “run around in wet diapers” [00:01:38]
- Brian Daboll compared to “Wooly Willie” toy [00:02:18]
- Dak “needs Google Maps to read defenses” [00:03:02]
- Secondary “like me wearing a Speedo – doesn’t cover enough” [00:04:10]
- “Deep storage hobo cryogenic body farm” under AT&T Stadium [00:05:16]
- Discussion of mystery player with extensive turtle-themed jewelry [00:03:29]
Recurring bits and inside jokes:
- Fake Jerry Jones interview – Gordo’s long-running impression with characteristic rambling and bizarre analogies
- Mispronunciation of names (Jevedon Clownsey instead of Jadeveon Clowney) [00:05:47]
- “Third Leg Greg” reference to Greg Olsen [00:00:39]
- Observation Deck – Gordo’s regular segment for random observations
- References to Jim Nantz’s “Y-E-Y-E-S” moment [00:03:06]
Summary:
This portion of The Musers opened with an extended Fake Jerry Jones segment discussing the Cowboys’ thrilling 40-37 overtime victory over the Giants. Gordo’s Jerry impression was in full form, mixing legitimate football analysis with absurd tangents about defibrillator paddles in the owner’s suite, comparing players to household objects, and references to a fictional “hobo cryogenic body farm” beneath AT&T Stadium. The fake Jerry praised Brandon Aubrey while criticizing the defense’s poor performance and discussing recent signings and contract extensions.
The show transitioned into Gordo’s Observation Deck segment, which began with a discussion of NFL announcing teams, ranking Joe Buck and Troy Aikman at the top followed by other network tandems. Gordo made observations about a mysterious sideline figure wearing elaborate turtle-themed jewelry, leading to speculation about the player’s identity and nickname.
The segment concluded with extensive praise for Cowboys kicker Brandon Aubrey, highlighting his numerous NFL records and discussing his remarkable backstory of transitioning from soccer to becoming potentially one of the greatest kickers in NFL history. The hosts speculated about his upcoming contract negotiations and the possibility of his story being adapted into a movie, emphasizing how his career began with his wife’s challenge that he could miss field goals just as well as the professionals.
⏰ Mid-Show Analysis
Segments in this portion:
• Observation Deck – Discussion about kickers and their evolution in the NFL
• Randy Cody – Regular character bit featuring a contractor discussing AT&T Stadium renovations
• E-Brake – Weekly segment featuring on-air mistakes and blunders from The Ticket hosts
Observation Deck segment:
• Evolution of NFL kickers from amateur-looking “uncles with beers” to elite athletes [00:08:38]
• Discussion of Brandon Aubrey making only $1 million despite his exceptional kicking ability
• Speculation about Aubrey’s future contract worth ($7-8 million predicted) [00:11:07]
• Analysis of how soccer backgrounds, better training, specialized long snappers, and improved athleticism have transformed the kicker position
• Comparison of kicking to golf regarding “yips” and mental pressure [00:11:26]
• Mention of Aubrey’s son having the “badass” romance novel name “Colton Aubrey” [00:11:53]
Sports topics discussed:
• NFL kicker evolution and salary expectations
• Brandon Aubrey’s performance and contract projections
• Cowboys home opener preparation at AT&T Stadium
• Field goal range expanding due to improved kicker accuracy
Funny moments and memorable bits:
• Randy Cody character discussing Jerry Jones wanting an “apology yacht” [00:02:17]
• Description of old kickers looking like uncles “stubbing out cigarettes with their cleats” [00:10:47]
• Randy’s complaints about Jerry buying video boards from “Timu or Alibaba” with wrong voltage [00:02:31]
• E-Brake featuring Donovan confidently saying “I’ve seen Mermaid” instead of “Splash” [00:02:07]
• Gordo’s dramatic “scream sneezing” incident during live broadcast [00:04:38]
• Corby making an inexplicable “you hail youth” noise during Dream Picks [00:06:42]
Pop culture topics:
• Movie references including Splash, The Little Mermaid, Aquaman, and The Abyss
• Discussion of underwater civilizations and why humans chose space exploration over ocean exploration
• References to Tom Hanks and Daryl Hannah in Splash
This portion showcases The Musers’ blend of sports analysis and comedic character work. The Observation Deck segment provided genuine sports insight about the evolution of NFL kickers, using Brandon Aubrey as a current example of the position’s transformation from afterthought to specialist. The Randy Cody bit delivered classic Ticket absurdist humor with detailed construction complaints mixed with outrageous claims about Jerry Jones’ stadium modifications.
The E-Brake segment highlighted the show’s self-aware nature, celebrating on-air mistakes as entertainment. Donovan’s confident but incorrect movie title, Gordo’s theatrical sneezing, and Corby’s mysterious utterance all demonstrated the spontaneous moments that make The Ticket’s format work. These segments illustrate how the station balances legitimate sports discussion with the personality-driven content that defines their brand.
🏁 Final Hour Analysis
Segments that appeared in this portion:
E-Brake (00:06:56-00:12:33): The weekly listener voting segment for the worst radio moments. Featured phone calls from listeners voting for their favorite “emergency brake” moment, with Gordo ultimately winning for a sneezing incident that occurred during the show.
Observation Deck (00:00:00-00:10:40): Gordo’s commentary segment discussing Larry Ellison becoming the world’s richest man at $393 billion, surpassing Elon Musk, after Oracle stock jumped 40% in one day.
Phone callers:
- Cruz and Alito voting for “Splash” [00:07:54]
- Ariel Piper voting for Gordo’s sneeze, giving shout out to Sting Royal [00:08:14]
- Colorado State fan celebrating their win over UTSA [00:09:05]
- Caller asking about Lee Corso retirement, leading to audio of Corso getting upset [00:09:28]
- “E-Brake Man” making unintelligible comments [00:10:16]
- “Smokeo,” Coco’s cousin from Marlboro testing facility, voting for “Wordle” [00:10:45]
Funny moments or memorable Gordo bits:
- Gordo wins E-Brake for sneezing (00:11:04): Gordo actually sneezed twice during the show and won the weekly E-Brake competition for it, claiming it was his 108th E-Brake win
- “Open sneezed the whole studio” (00:11:43): Exchange about Gordo not covering his sneezes properly
- Broadcast laws protection (00:12:07): Gordo claiming his sneeze was “for entertainment” so health protocols didn’t apply
- Oracle confusion (00:09:10): During Observation Deck, Gordo admitting he doesn’t know what Oracle actually does despite discussing Larry Ellison’s wealth
- Jerry Jones hypotheticals: Speculation about when Jerry stopped paying his own bills and shopping for cars
How the show wrapped up:
The show concluded with the Observation Deck segment about Larry Ellison. The hosts formally offered Ellison “the forum” – apparently a running gag where they offer their platform to newsworthy figures. Craig noted that despite making this offer to many people over the years, no one has ever taken them up on it (00:10:13-00:10:40).
Final summary:
This portion of The Musers began with the E-Brake voting segment, where listeners called in to vote for the week’s worst radio moments. The competition featured several nominees, but Gordo won for an actual sneezing incident that occurred during the broadcast, marking his 108th E-Brake victory and putting him 31 wins behind all-time leader Norman Hitzges.
The show’s final segment was Gordo’s Observation Deck, focusing on Larry Ellison becoming the world’s richest man with a net worth of $393 billion after Oracle stock surged 40% in a single day. The discussion evolved into speculation about wealth thresholds where additional billions stop improving quality of life, with the hosts debating whether that point comes at $5 billion, $20 billion, or higher. They used Jerry Jones as a reference point, estimating his net worth at $15 billion with most tied up in the Cowboys and other assets.
The conversation took a humorous turn as the hosts wondered about practical matters like when Jerry stopped paying his own utility bills or shopping for cars himself. Gordo admitted he didn’t actually understand what Oracle does beyond “cloud applications,” leading to jokes about explaining this to George’s father. The show ended with The Musers formally offering Larry Ellison their forum, continuing a long-running gag where they extend this invitation to newsworthy figures, though no one has ever accepted.
Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.
