The Musers β 2025-09-26
The Musers β 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Friday, September 26, 2025
π Segments This Day
- Observation Deck
- Chris Chris
ποΈ Early Show Analysis
Segments in this portion:
- Observation Deck [00:00:00]: Gordo’s regular segment featuring various observations and stories, including discussion of newspaper industry changes, a Netflix documentary recommendation, and a story about killer squirrels in San Francisco
Debates or strong opinions expressed by the hosts:
- Newspaper nostalgia [00:01:21-00:01:38]: Gordo expresses disappointment about newspapers going digital, saying “Unfortunately, I say unfortunately” and “Real newspapers there. They’re real to me. Damn it”
- U2 discussion [00:00:09-00:00:49]: Brief mention that hosts aren’t allowed to say anything detracting from U2’s greatness, with praise for The Joshua Tree album
Funny moments, Gordo bits, or memorable quotes:
- George’s literal response [00:06:30]: When victim says she was “full of blood,” George deadpans: “And they said all humans are full of blood you’re fine”
- Translation app observation [00:06:35-00:06:49]: Gordo notes the squirrel victim’s quotes “doesn’t sound like she’s talking this way this sounds like she’s going through a translator app”
- Squirrel identification discussion [00:06:53-00:07:28]: George questions how they know it’s the same squirrel since “they all look exactly the same to me,” leading to philosophical discussion about whether squirrels can distinguish each other like humans can distinguish dogs
Recurring bits, characters, or inside jokes referenced:
- The Observation Deck segment itself is a regular Gordo feature
- Reference to The Ticket’s apparent rule that hosts can’t criticize U2
This portion of The Musers opens with Gordo’s Observation Deck segment, beginning with brief commentary on U2’s Joshua Tree album before transitioning into media industry discussion. Gordo reflects on the decline of print newspapers, mentioning both the Dallas Morning News sale to Hearst Corporation and the Atlanta Journal Constitution’s decision to go digital-only in December 2025. He also references the AJC’s controversial role in the Richard Jewell Olympic bombing case.
The conversation shifts to entertainment as Gordo enthusiastically recommends a Netflix documentary called “The Unknown Number” about a high school catfishing scandal involving mysterious threatening text messages. He describes it as a “head scratcher” where everyone involved seems “off the center,” and both he and another host found the participants’ motivations confusing and their statements often nonsensical.
The segment concludes with an amusing discussion about “killer squirrels” terrorizing San Francisco residents, with multiple people requiring emergency room treatment after squirrel attacks. This leads to a comedic philosophical debate between Gordo and George about whether squirrels can distinguish each other visually the way humans can distinguish different dog breeds, with George noting that all squirrels look identical to him while wondering if the same is true from the squirrels’ perspective.
β° Mid-Show Analysis
Segments
Chris Chris segment [00:00:00-00:01:51]
- Chris Chris, the “overly handsome guy from sales” character visits the studio
- He’s shirtless after “crushing at the gym” and claims to make $10 million a year
- Says he won the Powerball lottery but won’t collect because he doesn’t want to split money
Animal discussion segment [00:07:32-00:11:36]
- Discussion about squirrels and their appearance/recognition abilities
- Story about someone named Alexis being attacked by a squirrel and going to the ER
- Conversation about which animals are vectors for various diseases (rabies, leprosy)
Funny moments, Gordo bits, or memorable one-liners
[00:07:53-00:07:57] Host jokes about squirrels recognizing each other: “Yeah, that’s chad. He’s got more of a chiseled jaw. Yeah, i know him over there. There’s monica”
[00:08:08-00:08:12] Comment about squirrels being “bothered” by looking alike and “always running out trying to unalive themselves in front of alexis”
[00:09:33-00:09:42] Exchange about armadillos and leprosy where one host demands “George you owe me a public apology” after being corrected
[00:10:51-00:10:56] Host’s exasperated reaction: “I’m serious. This show needs to be put out of its misery because that is that is so insane”
[00:01:39-00:01:42] Chris Chris’s bizarre line: “Dude, if I wanted to split anything from someone from Missouri, I’d have a three-way with Albert Pujols”
Pop culture, music, or non-sports topics discussed
[00:09:51-00:11:23] Extended discussion about a P1 listener’s tweet referencing the “11th birthday of the marv albert donald duck above ground love child” – the hosts are completely confused by this inside reference and spend time trying to decode what it means, distinguishing it from their “underwater love child”
This portion of The Musers showcases the show’s characteristic blend of absurdist humor and random tangents. The Chris Chris segment demonstrates Gordo’s character work, featuring an over-the-top sales guy who makes outrageous claims about his wealth and lifestyle, including winning the lottery but refusing to collect because he doesn’t want to share the money.
The animal discussion segment exemplifies the show’s ability to take mundane topics and spin them into extended comedic bits. What starts as a simple conversation about squirrels evolves into philosophical questions about animal recognition and disease vectors, with the hosts playfully arguing about facts and demanding apologies when proven wrong.
The segment concludes with a perfect example of the show’s deep mythology and inside jokes that have developed over years of broadcasting. A listener’s reference to an 11-year-old bit about Kenny Albert and Donald Duck completely baffles even the hosts themselves, highlighting how the show’s absurdist elements have created a complex universe of references that sometimes escape even their creators’ memories.
π Final Hour Analysis
Segments in this portion:
- Chris Chris [00:01:54-00:05:59] β A comedic bit featuring the character Chris Chris from sales, who makes increasingly outrageous claims about his wealth and connections
Funny moments or memorable Gordo bits:
- Chris Chris claims to be using a concert ticket as a bookmark for an Elon Musk biography [00:01:54]
- Invites hosts to his “penthouse” party but then claims he’ll be busy helping his “workout buddy” Micah Parsons on the sideline [00:02:04-00:02:40]
- Says he’s “more shredded than my tax records, especially for my big crypto year” [00:02:45]
- Claims both the Packers coaching booth and NBC are “blowing up his phone” wanting him to work the game [00:02:52]
- Makes inappropriate comments about partying with NBC’s Tony Dungy (called “Tariqo”) [00:02:56-00:03:26]
- Claims to be renting “the whole Lake Texoma” for an end of summer party with “top shelf tang and financiers from Saudi countries” [00:03:33-00:03:51]
- Says his private jet is painted in “criss criss colors” β “the color of money and the color of women’s genitals in estrus” [00:04:23-00:04:31]
- The bit ends when someone throws a 1200-page book at Chris Chris, hitting him and causing him to jump out the window into the ticker room [00:05:00-00:05:59]
How did the show wrap up?
- The Chris Chris bit concludes with physical comedy as he gets hit by a heavy book, claims he “can’t breathe,” jumps out the window, lands in the ticker room, and eventually retreats back to his “mouth hole” [00:05:15-00:05:59]
Summary
This final portion of The Musers featured an extended comedic bit with the recurring character Chris Chris from sales. The character made increasingly absurd claims about his wealth and connections, starting with reading an Elon Musk biography and escalating to claims about training Micah Parsons, working NFL broadcasts with Tony Dungy, and owning a private jet painted in bizarrely described colors.
The bit maintained The Ticket’s signature absurdist humor as Chris Chris described renting entire lakes for parties with Saudi financiers and making crude references to past exploits with NBC personalities. His claims became so outrageous that the other hosts expressed clear disgust, with one noting “We don’t like talking to you” due to the gross nature of his comments.
The segment concluded with slapstick comedy when someone hurled a 1200-page book about NFL television history at Chris Chris, causing him to claim injury and jump out the window into the ticker room before eventually retreating. This physical comedy ending was typical of how The Ticket often concludes their more elaborate character bits, bringing them to an absurd but definitive close.
Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.
