The Musers — 2025-11-25

The Musers — 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Tuesday, November 25, 2025

📋 Segments This Day

• Wattle the Turkey
• Observation Deck

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🎙️ Early Show Analysis

Here is the analysis of this portion of The Musers:

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Segments in This Portion

• Wattle the Turkey [00:00:00–end]: A recurring pre-Thanksgiving bit in which the Musers conduct a fake interview with one of the turkeys pardoned by the President. This year’s turkey is named Wattle (not Gobble, as the hosts initially assumed), voiced by Gordo. The interview covers Wattle’s plans post-pardon, his brother Gobble’s fate, commentary on Trump, the Mavericks, Melania Trump, George Pickens, and the turkey retirement ranch in Raleigh, NC.

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Sports Topics Discussed

• Mavericks/Luka Dončić [00:04:17–00:04:39]: Wattle brings up the lingering fan frustration over the Luka Dončić trade and notes seeing Luka in a Lakers jersey, calling it jarring. George confirms fans are still unhappy about it. Nico Harrison is mentioned as still being unpardoned by Mavs fans.
• George Pickens [00:05:39–00:06:03]: Wattle praises George Pickens’ body control as a receiver and references the Steelers’ game against Philadelphia.

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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable Quotes

• The bit opens with a correction — the hosts call the turkey “Gobble,” and Wattle corrects them: *”I’m Waddle. Gobble is my older brother.”* [00:00:36]
• Gobble’s fate: Despite both turkeys being pardoned, Gobble immediately carjacked a woman out of a LeSabre on Pennsylvania Avenue and was shot by a citizen carrying an HK VP9. [00:01:30–00:01:40]
• Wattle reveals his post-pardon plans include string theory research and a career in Logan Paul’s influencer ecosystem. [00:02:01–00:02:26]
• On influencer strategy: *”You got to tell them what they already want to hear… a lot of emotional mirroring and stuff like that that you can really monetize.”* [00:02:50]
• Wattle casually admits he was pardoned for strangling a couple of hookers outside Portland in the 70s, then immediately pivots to asking about Dallas weather. [00:03:13–00:03:27]
• On Trump at the pardon ceremony: *”That guy improvises more than the Whose Line Is It Anyway show.”* Wattle says Trump went off-script to talk about *”Hillary’s cankles and Megyn Kelly’s periods.”* [00:03:52–00:04:13]
• The Dolly Madison bit: Wattle compares Melania favorably to Dolly Madison as hottest First Lady, then jokes that Dolly’s nudes had *”grooming issues”* — leading to a crack that George W. Bush should be considered *”the third biggest Bush occupier in the White House.”* [00:05:04–00:05:36] George goes quiet; Gordo notes it: *”George going quiet over there.”*

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Recurring Bits, Characters, or Inside Jokes Referenced

• Wattle the Turkey is explicitly identified as a Musers annual tradition: *”We do this every year right before Thanksgiving break… we’re the only radio station in America that gets this interview.”* [00:00:00–00:00:08]

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3-Paragraph Summary

This portion of the November 25, 2025 Musers broadcast consists entirely of the annual “Wattle the Turkey” segment, a long-running pre-Thanksgiving tradition in which the hosts conduct a mock phone interview with one of the White House’s pardoned turkeys — voiced by Gordo in character. This year’s turkey is Wattle, who corrects the hosts for calling him by his brother Gobble’s name. The bit is immediately darkly comic: Gobble, despite also being pardoned, was shot almost instantly after carjacking a woman on Pennsylvania Avenue. Wattle, by contrast, is focused and forward-looking — with plans in string theory research and a spot in the Logan Paul influencer world.

The interview ranges widely, as Gordo’s Wattle riffs on Trump’s rambling pardon ceremony performance, the ongoing Mavs fan outrage over the Luka Dončić trade, and admiration for George Pickens’ receiving skills. Political humor is woven throughout, including a throwaway line about Wattle’s own pardon covering murders in 1970s Portland, and an extended riff comparing Melania Trump and Dolly Madison that culminates in a Bush-era double entendre that leaves George briefly speechless.

The segment is a showcase of the Musers’ brand of absurdist, anything-goes holiday comedy. Gordo’s Wattle character is simultaneously street-smart, crude, politically observant, and completely unhinged — bouncing from serial killing confessions to influencer strategy advice without missing a beat. It’s a beloved annual ritual that blends local sports references with national political satire and pure nonsense, all while maintaining the loose, conversational tone that defines The Ticket’s morning show.

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⏰ Mid-Show Analysis

The Musers — 2025-11-25 (Transcript Analysis)

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Segments That Appeared

• Pre-segment banter / guest call (opening): A phone caller named “Waddle” (described as “the pardoned turkey”) was on the line discussing being in North Carolina, a publicity tour, and whether George would sleep in a coffin for a million dollars. Ended with Thanksgiving well-wishes around [00:06:25]–[00:07:48].
• Observation Deck with Gordo [00:00:00]–[00:06:30]: Gordo presented a story about a Thai woman who appeared to have died but was discovered to be alive inside a coffin at a Buddhist temple outside Bangkok.

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Observation Deck

• Gordo discussed the Wat Rat Phra Khong Tam Buddhist Temple in Nonthaburi province, outside Bangkok.
• A man’s sister had been bedridden for two years, stopped breathing, and he placed her in a coffin, traveling 300 miles to donate her organs. The hospital refused without a death certificate.
• He then brought her to the temple for a free cremation service, but they also required paperwork — at which point staff heard faint knocking from inside the coffin.
• They pried it open and she was alive, eyes slightly open and moving.
• The temple posted video of the incident on their Facebook page.
• Gordo riffed on why a Buddhist temple has a Facebook, suggested it was an unintentional marketing opportunity (“a temple so good at praying for your loved one, we can bring them back to life”).
• Tangent into KISS coffins — Gordo believed one of the Pantera brothers (likely Vinnie Paul) was buried in a KISS coffin. He noted both Dimebag Darrell and Vinnie Paul were Ticket-friendly, but Vinnie Paul appeared on the station more and was a big Stars fan.
• Gordo closed darkly, noting the woman was 65 years old and wondering aloud whether she’d make it to 66, speculating follow-ups to such stories are “just as grim.”

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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable One-Liners

• Gordo did a brief (and self-acknowledged inaccurate) dramatic re-enactment of the woman’s eyes opening in the coffin [00:02:38]–[00:02:54], then immediately walked it back: *”That’s not accurate.”*
• George joked about the brother’s casual death confirmation: *”He just puts one round to a .22 in her kneecap and calls her dead.”* [00:03:10]
• Junior riffed: *”What if they opened it up and she goes, ‘Close it back up, just seeing how strong it is'”* — doing an inexplicable Southern accent for a Thai woman [00:05:55]–[00:06:05].
• Gordo called George out: *”Why are you policing women’s accents?”* [00:06:17]
• The “Waddle the pardoned turkey” bit — George said he’d rather have *”a bullet in the head”* than waddle around in North Carolina, which got laughs given Waddle was apparently a turkey character on the phone [00:06:37]–[00:07:47].
• George mentioned he couldn’t sleep in a coffin for a million dollars due to claustrophobia; Waddle responded: *”I’ve been stuck in a crate for the last 48 hours waiting to hear when I’m going to live. You can do it, George.”* [00:07:21]–[00:07:25]
• *”Do it for Dolly Madison’s Big Bush”* — George’s motivational closer to Waddle [00:07:28], a classic Ticket reference.

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Phone Callers

• Waddle — a comedic bit caller playing the role of a “pardoned turkey,” apparently part of a Thanksgiving promotional bit. He was calling from North Carolina, described being stuck in a crate for 48 hours, and good-naturedly ribbed George about refusing to sleep in a coffin for a million dollars. Ended the call with Happy Thanksgiving wishes.

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Pop Culture, Music, and Non-Sports Topics

• KISS coffins — Gordo brought up that KISS at one point sold branded coffins and that a Pantera member (believed to be Vinnie Paul) was buried in one.
• Dimebag Darrell and Vinnie Paul discussed briefly as Ticket-friendly guests, with Vinnie Paul noted as the more frequent visitor and a Dallas Stars fan.
• Around the Horn (ESPN) — briefly mentioned; George and another host wondered when it might return after apparently going off air.

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Summary

This portion of the Musers opens with a Thanksgiving bit featuring a comedic phone call from “Waddle, the pardoned turkey,” a character apparently on a mock publicity tour for being a pardoned turkey. The bit centered on George’s firm refusal to sleep in a coffin for a million dollars due to claustrophobia, which Waddle — having just survived 48 hours in a crate — found unimpressive. The segment ended warmly with Thanksgiving wishes and a classic Ticket sign-off: “Do it for Dolly Madison’s Big Bush.”

The meat of this portion was the Observation Deck, in which Gordo told the genuinely strange and darkly funny story of a Thai woman placed in a coffin by her brother after she appeared to die, only to be discovered alive by knocking on the coffin lid at a Buddhist temple outside Bangkok. Gordo delivered the story with his trademark blend of genuine curiosity, absurdist tangents, and pitch-black humor — questioning why a Buddhist temple has a Facebook page and wondering if the woman would even make it to 66.

The segment veered into a brief but affectionate tangent about KISS coffins and the Pantera brothers, Dimebag Darrell and Vinnie Paul, with Gordo noting Vinnie Paul’s frequent Ticket appearances and his love of the Dallas Stars. The hosts sparred playfully throughout — George and Junior riffing on Southern accents for Thai women and Gordo mock-defending women’s right to whatever accent they choose. It was a compact, characteristically Ticket-flavored segment: morbid subject matter delivered with warmth, humor, and genuine camaraderie.

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🏁 Final Hour Analysis

Analysis: The Musers — 2025-11-25 (Final Portion, Observation Deck)

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Segments in This Portion

• Observation Deck (~00:06:33–00:11:15): A loose, riffing segment built around a hypothetical “coffin challenge” — would you sleep in a closed coffin overnight for money? The conversation spun out of an earlier topic (apparently involving a woman who would be “coffin bound for the next year”), escalating into negotiating dollar amounts, clauses, and logistics of the challenge.

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Funny Moments or Memorable Gordo Bits

• (~00:06:57): Gordo riffs on how comfortable coffins look at funerals and floats the idea of a “Sleep Number coffin” — “just to make sure it’s right on my number.”
• (~00:08:39): Gordo offers the coffin challenge location options, including “Temple Shalom” and “Temple, Texas” — a classic wordplay escalation.
• (~00:09:02–00:09:09): Gordo offers a bonus incentive: “If you die, you get the coffin for free. Which these days — those are expensive. That’s quite a bargain.”
• (~00:09:42–00:09:52): Gordo describes hosting a party around the sealed coffin while George is inside, listening to Gordo chat with all his friends — a wonderfully cruel twist.
• (~00:10:18): Someone drops “with a live placenta” as a condition for the Ticketstock coffin stunt, an out-of-nowhere absurdist addition.
• (~00:10:30–00:10:34): George offers to do a concert in May for charity as an alternative, and Gordo shoots it down: *”That would just glorify you. This would humble you for the Senior Source.”*

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Strong Predictions or Bold Takes

• Craig (Junior) enthusiastically agrees he would do the coffin challenge for $500,000 or $1,000,000 — calling it “the easiest half million.”
• George flatly refuses at any price, including a million dollars, claiming he believes he would literally die from the stress. His hands were reportedly sweating just discussing it (~00:10:48–00:10:51).

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How the Show Wrapped Up / Closing Thoughts

• (~00:10:10–00:11:15): The bit pivoted toward a potential Ticketstock event, with the idea of a coffin center stage at the Plano Center where someone would have to stay inside for an hour, with proceeds going to The Senior Source charity.
• Gordo floated a gradual desensitization plan: bring a coffin into the studio, have George get in for five minutes each morning, extending it week by week to build tolerance.
• George’s parting plea: *”Just let me enjoy Thanksgiving week, could you?”* — to which Gordo replied, “I want you in a coffin for Thanksgiving.”
• The segment ended with a loose tease: *”We’ll see if we can string that together for Ticketstock.”*

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Notable Quotes

• *”I may have to take death and give the points.”* — (~00:06:39), Gordo, on the woman’s coffin situation
• *”I want a Sleep Number coffin. Just to make sure it’s right on my number.”* — (~00:06:57–00:07:07), Gordo
• *”If you die, you get the coffin for free. Which these days — that’s quite a bargain.”* — (~00:09:02–00:09:09), Gordo
• *”Just let me enjoy Thanksgiving week, could you?”* — (~00:11:06), George
• *”I want you in a coffin for Thanksgiving.”* — (~00:11:09), Gordo

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3-Paragraph Summary

The final portion of this Musers broadcast is a quintessential Observation Deck segment — no sports, no structure, just the hosts riffing into increasingly absurd territory. Spinning off a reference to a woman reportedly facing a year confined to a coffin, Gordo launches into a hypothetical: would you sleep in a closed coffin overnight for money? The bit quickly becomes a negotiation, with Gordo sweetening terms (a flashlight, your choice of location, your own living room) while George holds firm in absolute refusal, insisting he would genuinely die from the psychological strain. Craig, by contrast, is a fully enthusiastic yes at $500,000 — calling it the easiest half-million imaginable.

Gordo’s comedic instincts are in full form throughout. He riffs on the surprising comfort of funeral coffins, pitches a “Sleep Number coffin,” offers George the coffin for free if he happens to die in it (“which these days is quite a bargain”), and imagines hosting a party around the sealed box while George listens helplessly from inside. The escalating cruelty of the bit — each new clause designed to maximize George’s discomfort — is classic Gordo architecture, and George’s increasingly panicked responses (“my hands are sweating right now”) make it land.

The segment closes with the chaos coalescing into a semi-serious Ticketstock pitch: a coffin center stage at the Plano Center, one hour inside, all proceeds to The Senior Source charity. George counter-offers a concert in May, which Gordo dismisses as self-glorifying. The show signs off with Gordo’s proposal to bring a coffin into the studio and begin a gradual desensitization program — five minutes a morning, building week by week — and George’s plaintive request to just enjoy Thanksgiving, met with Gordo’s reply that he wants George in a coffin *for* Thanksgiving. A perfectly absurd note to end the week on.

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Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.