The Musers — 2026-01-23

The Musers — 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Friday, January 23, 2026

📋 Segments This Day

• Observation Deck
• Sports Monster
• Observation Deck
• Sports Monster

---

🎙️ Early Show Analysis

Analysis: The Musers — Observation Deck (2026-01-23)

—

Segments in This Portion

• Observation Deck with Gordo [00:00:00]: Gordo’s regular feature segment, sponsored by Tyloth Georgiakir. In this installment, Gordo presented the story of the “Brazilian Roswell” — a 1996 UFO incident in Varginha, Brazil — and the discussion spiraled into classic Ticket tangents about viral sports broadcasting blunders.

—

Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable Quotes

• [00:00:23] Gordo’s “proof via no proof” logic: Gordo argued the evidence for UFOs is that there is *no* evidence, because “only a technologically advanced society could cover up this well.” The other hosts played along amusingly.
• [00:01:43] “Cigar-shaped” UFO gripe: Gordo expressed mild irritation at outdated UFO terminology — “Anytime it’s a cigar shape or a flying saucer… it’s very 1950s sounding to me.”
• [00:02:29] “It did not want to be messed with by Carlos”: Gordo’s quip about the self-reshaping alien metal found by witness Carlos D’Souza.
• [00:03:36] Craig’s skeptical counter: Craig suggested the alien hiding behind a wall was probably “just some drunk who had some flashlight problem,” undercutting the dramatic buildup.
• [00:05:07] Craig questions the source: Craig asked Gordo where he got the story, joking it was “the same one that gave me the Gorilla Channel story.” Gordo confirmed: “I printed this off… Source is the printer in the break room.” A great self-aware moment about the reliability of Gordo’s Observation Deck sourcing.
• [00:06:45] Alien description pivot: After describing the creatures as having “oily brown skin and large red eyes,” Gordo immediately pivoted to a viral Brazilian TV clip of a reporter covering a football game, saying “we have one on with us right now.”
• [00:07:30] “Boom Goes the Dynamite” tangent [00:07:32–00:15:45]: The show went deep into the legendary “Brian from Ball State” viral sports anchor clip from around 2005. They played the full (or near-full) audio of the clip, which features Brian fumbling through a Ball State sports broadcast with long silences, garbled sentences, shuffling papers, and the infamous catchphrase “passes it to the man… and boom goes the dynamite.” Highlights of the discussion:
• [00:09:00] George noted Brian “had a catchphrase ready because he knew all the sports center anchors had one” but had nothing else prepared.
• [00:09:24] Gordo called Brian’s opener “very Zodiac-like”: *”Hello again, everybody.”*
• [00:13:39] Craig’s longstanding confusion over the line “The Hoosiers are on the four-on” — “I have no idea what he was trying to say.”
• [00:14:14] Gordo said Brian “sounded like a combination of Killer and Alexi when Alexi did the tickery.”
• [00:15:07] George recalled that a TV station in Waco actually hired Brian from Ball State afterward, apparently for the publicity, but he only lasted about six months.
• [00:15:32] Gordo closed the tangent by imagining what it would be like to throw Ticket personality Jason “Killer” Kellison onto ABC Nightly News with no prep — which the hosts agreed they would pay to see.

—

Recurring Bits, Characters, or Inside Jokes Referenced

• “Gorilla Channel story” [00:05:09]: Craig referenced this as a benchmark for dubious sources, implying Gordo has presented questionable material before.
• “Brian from Ball State” [00:08:52–00:15:45]: A legendary internet viral clip that the Ticket has clearly revisited many times over the years. Craig noted “that was a big drop for a long time” and that “we’re going to continue on now” became a show drop used whenever things went sideways on air.
• “Boom goes the dynamite” [00:08:56]: The famous catchphrase from the Brian clip, noted as having been picked up by an actual SportsCenter anchor afterward.
• Alexi doing “the tickery” [00:14:14]: A reference to a Ticket-internal bit involving someone named Alexi delivering sports updates in a stilted way.
• Jason “Killer” Kellison [00:15:32]: A Ticket personality invoked as the hypothetical equivalent of Brian from Ball State in terms of being ill-suited for a high-pressure live broadcast.

—

3-Paragraph Summary

The Observation Deck opened with Gordo presenting the “Brazilian Roswell” — the January 1996 UFO incident in Varginha, Brazil — as a serious (or semi-serious) deep dive. The story involved a cigar-shaped spacecraft crash, self-reshaping alien metal, Brazilian military capturing alien beings, a police officer dying from a mysterious infection after grabbing one bare-handed, and a U.S. C-17 secretly flying the wreckage back to America. The hosts engaged with varying degrees of credulity, with Craig offering the most skepticism — suggesting the creature hiding behind a wall was probably just a drunk with a flashlight, and pointedly asking Gordo where he sourced the story (answer: the break room printer). The segment had the classic Observation Deck tone of Gordo playing it somewhat straight while the others gently poked holes.

Midway through, after describing the alien beings as having “oily brown skin and large red eyes,” Gordo pivoted to a viral clip of a Brazilian TV reporter covering what appeared to be an NFL game — declaring the coach was “having the time of his life.” This prompted a brief but funny tangent about Telemundo reporters and the gap between what you mean to say and what you actually say under pressure. The hosts identified the coach as Vance Joseph in what may have been his first game as a head coach, and noted the reporter probably defaulted to “having the time of his life” when the right phrase escaped him.

That discussion organically led to the extended and clearly beloved “Brian from Ball State” segment, in which the full (or near-full) audio of the legendary circa-2005 viral college sports broadcast was played. Brian’s halting delivery, mysterious paper shuffling, indecipherable sentences (“the Hoosiers are on the four-on”), and climactic “passes it to the man — boom goes the dynamite” were all savored and dissected by the hosts. The conversation touched on Brian’s brief professional career at a Waco TV station, the catchphrase being adopted by SportsCenter, and the clip’s history as a recurring Ticket drop. The segment ended with Gordo and George imagining the chaos of putting Ticket host Killer in a similar high-pressure live news situation — a fitting, affectionate note to close on.

---

⏰ Mid-Show Analysis

Analysis: The Musers — 2026-01-23, Sports Monster / Observation Deck Segments

—

Segments in This Portion

• Sports Monster [00:00:00]: A comedic character bit in which Gordo portrays a creature (“the Sports Monster”) who lives in the woods of Collin County, learned to speak by listening to The Ticket on a transistor radio found in a creek around 2008, and came into the studio to conduct a newsletter interview with the hosts. The bit included rapid-fire hot sports takes and absurdist tangents.
• Observation Deck [00:00:00 of that segment]: Gordo’s regular segment, this time covering the “Brazilian Roswell” — a 1996 UFO incident in Varginha, Brazil — including alleged alien creature sightings, a military cover-up, and a recent Washington press conference calling for witnesses to come forward.

—

Observation Deck

• Gordo presented the story of the 1996 Varginha, Brazil UFO incident, dubbed the “Brazilian Roswell”
• A cigar-shaped, damaged UFO with white smoke was spotted and reportedly crashed on a farm outside the city
• Witness Carlos D’Souza found debris including a self-reshaping lightweight metal that returned to its original shape after being crumpled
• Soldiers arrived and D’Souza was ordered away at gunpoint; men in suits later threatened him at a gas station: *”You saw nothing, you know nothing, or you will have problems for the rest of your life”*
• Three young women on January 20th, 1996, encountered a scared, non-human being hiding behind a wall near the crash site, described as walking on two legs with oily brown skin and large red eyes, with a strong ammonia smell
• Brazilian military reportedly captured at least two of these beings; one officer, Marco Eli Chereze, grabbed one bare-handed, received a scratch, developed a deadly infection, and died weeks later
• A forensic pathologist this week said he discovered a rare aggressive bacterium in the officer’s wound that doctors suspected may have been of alien origin; the official cause of death was listed as a staph infection (Staphylococcus Schleffleri)
• The beings and debris were allegedly transported to a Brazilian airport and loaded onto a secret U.S. C-17 cargo plane bound for America
• Colonel Fred Claussen, a two-time Distinguished Flying Cross recipient, held a press conference in Washington days earlier calling on approximately 30 people with knowledge of the incident to come forward

—

Sports Topics Discussed

• Sports Monster segment rapid-fire takes included:
• Praise for Matt Stafford — described as a local kid who has performed at a high level for a long time, a testament to talent and grit [00:02:43–00:03:14]
• A call to “cut the cord on Dak” — the Sports Monster declared the Mavericks (likely meant Cowboys/Dak Prescott) situation unresolvable and said it’s time to move on and build around someone else [00:05:27–00:05:35]
• Cooper Flag mentioned as a potential Mavericks savior [00:05:56]
• Brief mention of Matt Stafford again being deserving of recognition [00:06:00–00:06:03]
• A dismissal of “Mush Mouth” as a real creature — the Sports Monster claimed to have covered 200 square miles of the Metroplex and never seen hide nor hair of Mush Mouth, declaring the “Mush Mouth grift” over [00:04:55–00:05:23]
• Observation Deck tangentially referenced Vance Joseph — the hosts briefly discussed a viral clip of a Telemundo reporter saying Joseph was “having the time of his life” before his first game as a head coach, when the reporter likely meant to convey something more meaningful [00:07:26–00:08:18]

—

Notable Debates or Host Disagreements

• During the Observation Deck, George/Junior pushed back on the UFO story’s credibility, joking that the “alien” behind the wall was probably just a drunk with flashlight problems [00:03:36–00:03:41]
• Junior (Craig) challenged Gordo’s sourcing: *”What is your source on this story? I feel like it’s the same one that gave me the Gorilla Channel story”* — Gordo confirmed: *”Source is the printer in the break room”* [00:05:07–00:05:15]
• Hosts pushed back on the phrasing “may have been of alien origin,” with one host noting doctors would unlikely make that specific claim [00:04:53–00:05:05]

—

Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable One-Liners

• The entire Sports Monster character is a Gordo bit — a creature from the Collin County woods who learned English from The Ticket, found an iPhone 3 to download the app, and appreciates the rewind feature [00:01:06–00:02:27]
• The Sports Monster attempting to interview the hosts for his newsletter and immediately asking about abortion and Trump rather than sports [00:04:15–00:04:38]
• The Sports Monster offering to do a quick sketch of the hosts for the newsletter cover since he had no camera, borrowing a pen [00:04:39–00:04:50]
• The Sports Monster asking: *”Y’all think she does cocaine? No… He looks at Sam like she’s a porterhouse”* — a cryptic non-sequitur about an unnamed person [00:05:44–00:05:55]
• The Sports Monster asking the hosts to shoot him in the back as he ducked out the door [00:06:14–00:06:23]
• George’s closing line: *”I’m going to ask him if he ever managed the Rangers”* [00:06:24–00:06:28]
• Gordo noting the “cigar-shaped UFO” description felt very *”1950s sounding”* [00:01:43–00:01:56]
• *”Source is the printer in the break room”* [00:05:15]

—

Pop Culture, Music, or Non-Sports Topics

• UFOs and extraterrestrial life — the Observation Deck segment was devoted to the 1996 Brazilian Roswell incident and a recent Washington press conference on it
• Vance Joseph viral clip — a Telemundo reporter describing Joseph as “having the time of his life” before his first head coaching game was briefly discussed [00:07:26–00:08:18]
• The Sports Monster referencing “fake air” (likely Fake Air segment) and crediting The Ticket’s humor for changing his life [00:01:41–00:01:51]

—

Summary

This portion of The Musers opens with one of Gordo’s more elaborate recurring character bits — the Sports Monster, a creature from the Collin County woods who learned to speak by listening to The Ticket on a found transistor radio and has since graduated to using an iPhone 3 with the app. The bit is a vehicle for rapid-fire takes (praising Matt Stafford, calling for an end to the “Mush Mouth grift,” floating Cooper Flag as a Maverick savior) wrapped in layers of absurdist humor, including the monster attempting to conduct a newsletter interview that quickly devolves into questions about abortion and Trump, a hand-drawn sketch session, and a request to be shot in the back on his way out. George’s parting line — wondering if the Sports Monster ever managed the Rangers — lands as the capstone joke.

The Observation Deck segment has Gordo presenting the “Brazilian Roswell,” a detailed account of a 1996 UFO incident in Varginha, Brazil, involving a crashed cigar-shaped spacecraft, self-reshaping alien metal, captured non-human beings with oily brown skin and large red eyes, a military cover-up complete with men-in-suits intimidation, and an officer who died of a mysterious infection after grabbing one of the creatures bare-handed. The segment is grounded — loosely — in a recent Washington press conference where a decorated military colonel called on roughly 30 insiders to come forward with the truth. Junior and George offer light skepticism throughout, with Junior’s best contribution being a challenge to Gordo’s sourcing that yields the admission the story came off the break room printer.

Taken together, the two segments reflect the show’s signature blend of sports and absurdist comedy. The Sports Monster bit demonstrates Gordo’s ability to build a fully realized comedic character who can deliver legitimate sports opinions (Stafford praise, Dak skepticism, Cooper Flag hope) from a completely ridiculous premise, while the Observation Deck showcases his fondness for fringe history and conspiracy-adjacent storytelling delivered with enough self-awareness to keep the hosts — and presumably the audience — from taking it entirely seriously.

---

🏁 Final Hour Analysis

Segments in This Portion

• Observation Deck (partial/concluding) [~00:08:19 in first block]: The hosts were replaying and reacting to the infamous “Brian from Ball State” viral sports cast clip, laughing through its many awkward moments including long silences, garbled highlights, and the signature “boom goes the dynamite” catchphrase.

• Sports Monster [00:00:00–00:06:31]: A first-ever character segment in which a “sports monster” — a creature who lives in the woods of Collin County, learned to speak English by listening to The Musers on a transistor radio found in a creek — visits the studio, ostensibly to interview the hosts for his newsletter and offer sports takes.

—

Sports Topics Discussed

• Matt Stafford’s playoff performance and longevity, with the Sports Monster praising his grit [~00:02:43–00:03:14]
• A reference to “Dak” (Prescott), with the Monster opining it’s “time to cut the cord” and that you can’t win with him [~00:05:27–00:05:35]
• Cooper Flagg potentially saving the Mavs [~00:05:56]
• Indiana Pacers vs. New Jersey Nets highlights (within the Brian from Ball State clip) [~00:11:15]
• The Musers’ 32-year anniversary on the air mentioned in passing [~00:04:15]

—

Strong Predictions or Bold Takes

• The Sports Monster declared definitively: “Ain’t no Mush Mouth” — debunking whatever “Mush Mouth grift” has apparently been a running topic on the show [~00:05:00–00:05:23]
• On Dak Prescott: “Time to cut the cord… we have seen enough. Can’t win with the guy. Put a team around him that’s gonna win.” [~00:05:27–00:05:35]
• “Cooper Flag save the Mavs” — floated as a bold/hopeful take [~00:05:56]

—

Funny Moments and Memorable Gordo Bits

• The hosts played the full Brian from Ball State clip and gleefully dissected it, including:
• “Passes it to the man… and boom goes the dynamite” — Brian’s only prepared moment in an otherwise disastrous sportscast [~00:08:52–00:09:11]
• The mysterious phrase “The Hoosiers are on the four-on” that has baffled the hosts for years [~00:13:39–00:13:47]
• “Steven Jackson’s David…” — an incomprehensible highlights intro [~00:13:55]
• “We’re going to continue on now” becoming a long-running show drop for when things go wrong [~00:14:34–00:14:47]
• Gordo noting Brian “sounded like a combination of Killer and Alexi” and musing about what it would be like to throw Jason Kellison onto ABC Nightly News with a fast-moving prompter [~00:15:32–00:15:50]

• The Sports Monster character itself was a sustained comedic bit, with highlights including:
• The Monster claiming he learned English entirely from listening to The Musers on a transistor radio found in a creek in Collin County around 2008 [~00:01:32–00:01:51]
• Asking the hosts about abortion and Trump mid-“sports interview” [~00:04:15–00:04:34]
• Needing to borrow a pen to sketch a cover portrait since he has no camera [~00:04:43–00:04:50]
• Asking if a female figure (seemingly at the Stock Show) “does cocaine” and saying someone “looks at Sam like she’s a porterhouse” [~00:05:44–00:05:55]
• Asking the hosts to “put a few shots in my back” as he ducked out the door [~00:06:06–00:06:24]

—

How the Show Wrapped Up

George closed out the Sports Monster segment warmly, joking he wanted to ask the Monster if he’d “ever managed the Rangers,” and expressing hope that the Sports Monster would return [~00:06:24–00:06:31]. The tone was light and the bit ended on a friendly note as the Monster exited.

—

Notable Quotes

• Brian from Ball State (clip): *”Passes it to the man… and boom goes the dynamite.”* [~00:11:57]
• George: *”We’re going to continue on now? What was he doing that whole time?”* [~00:14:33]
• Sports Monster: *”I live back in the woods. I kind of follow sports from a different perspective — being a creature who has somewhere from over zero to none human contact.”* [~00:00:52–00:01:05]
• Sports Monster: *”I ain’t got delusions of grandeur. I know it’s distributed in the woods to a bunch of critters that ain’t speaking a lick of English, much less able to read it.”* [~00:03:31–00:03:38]
• Sports Monster on Mush Mouth: *”I’ve lived in every nook and cranny of this Metroplex… about 200 square miles… and I ain’t seen hide nor hair of no Mush Mouth.”* [~00:05:01–00:05:12]

—

3-Paragraph Summary

The final portion of this Musers broadcast opened with the hosts wrapping up their playback and reaction to the legendary “Brian from Ball State” viral clip — a college student’s disastrously unprepared sports anchor audition tape. The hosts, particularly Gordo and George, marveled again at Brian’s signature meltdown moments: the inexplicable “passes it to the man… boom goes the dynamite” highlight, the baffling phrase “the Hoosiers are on the four-on,” and the nervous filler line “we’re going to continue on now,” which became a long-running Ticket drop. The conversation was affectionate as well as comedic, with Gordo noting Brian seemed like “a sweet kid” and recalling that a Waco TV station briefly hired him for the publicity before things didn’t work out.

The show then pivoted to its Sports Monster segment, billed as a first-ever occurrence. The Monster — a Gordo character voiced with a folksy, woods-dwelling affect — claimed to have learned English entirely from listening to The Musers on a transistor radio found in a Collin County creek in 2008. He arrived ostensibly to interview the hosts for his newsletter and to offer sports takes, but the interview quickly went sideways as he asked about abortion and Trump before pivoting to rapid-fire hot takes: praising Matt Stafford’s grit and longevity, declaring there is “no Mush Mouth” and calling out whatever grift surrounds that character, suggesting it’s time to cut ties with Dak Prescott, and floating Cooper Flagg as the Mavs’ salvation. He also raised eyebrows with a couple of off-color observations before asking the hosts to “shoot him in the back” as he ducked out the door.

The show closed warmly and humorously, with George expressing genuine affection for the bit and hoping Sports Monster would return. The final minutes had the easy, winding-down energy typical of a Musers show nearing its end — a mix of absurdist Gordo comedy, genuine sports conversation, and the kind of inside-joke camaraderie that has defined the show across its 32 years on the air.

---

Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.