The Musers — 2026-01-30

The Musers — 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Friday, January 30, 2026

📋 Segments This Day

• Observation Deck
• E-Brake
• Jub Watches TV
• Jub Watches TV
• Norm The Goose
• E-Brake
• Norm The Goose
• Observation Deck The Musers 1222026
• Sports Monster The Musers 1222026
• Observation Deck The Musers 1212026
• Marge Schwimdiddler The Musers 1212026

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🎙️ Early Show Analysis

Here is the analysis of this portion of The Musers from January 30, 2026:

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Segments That Appeared

• Observation Deck [00:00:00]: Gordo’s regular opening segment, sponsored by Tylock George I Care. Topics included icy road conditions on the way to work, TV broadcast picture quality (HD vs. 4K), passive-aggressive phrases to avoid in friendships, and Tesla potentially discontinuing the Model S and Model X in favor of robo-taxis and Optimus humanoid robots.

• E-Brake [00:00:01]: The weekly segment where listeners vote on the biggest on-air blunder or “wheels-off” moment of the week. Three candidates were presented and callers voted by phone.

• Jub Watches TV [00:00:00]: George (Jub) reviews television and film he watched during the recent ice storm that kept people home. He reviewed the Netflix show *His and Hers*, the film *Train Dreams*, and an HBO documentary about Paul Anka titled *My Way*.

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E-Brake Segment

• Candidate #1 — Davey [~00:01:41]: During an entertainment news segment (apparently on a different Ticket show), Davey was presenting a story about Kendall Jenner’s Super Bowl commercial. Co-host Corby interjected with a side comment that Kendall Jenner was “banging Devin Booker,” which caused Davey to explode in frustration, saying “No, Jesus effing F” and going on a tense, flustered rant. The E-Brake nominators put the blame primarily on Davey for losing his composure, though Corby’s unsolicited detail set it off. Context given: Davey had been doing the show with his toddler present that week, and Corby was about to head to the Super Bowl wearing “ridiculous outfits.”

• Candidate #2 — Sean Bass [~00:04:34]: During a news segment on another show, Sean Bass reported a story about a Florida man who was arrested for performing a sexual act with his Roomba vacuum outside his house. When Sean reached the punchline, someone deadpanned: “Sounds like a Goomba.” The joke landed in complete silence — no laughter, just dead air — before someone finally said “That’s a good one” with no conviction. Sean then said defeatedly, “That was very funny.” A separate drop played: “We were going to have a good show.” Gordo noted it was the “first reference of gooning in 2026.”

• Candidate #3 — Donovan Lewis [~00:06:50]: Donovan struggled badly through a live ad read for PrizePicks during the show, stumbling through the copy about Sam Darnold needing one passing yard for a max discount offer, slowing down noticeably and barely holding on through the spot.

• Winner: Sean Bass, with his Roomba/Goomba moment. It was noted as his 4th E-Brake win, tying him with “Elf” all-time, 136 wins behind Norm (the all-time leader).

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Sports Topics Discussed

• Cooper Flag [~00:10:54, Observation Deck]: Briefly mentioned in passing — George noted that Flag scored 49 points the previous night and that someone probably said it was “Cooper Flag doing Cooper Flag things,” which led to a broader riff on the annoying internet phrase “[Person] doing [Person] things.”

• Super Bowl [~00:01:20, Observation Deck]: Discussed as the last truly national shared TV event, and Gordo expressed hope that the Super Bowl broadcast would be in true 4K/ultra high-def.

• Sam Darnold [E-Brake, ~00:07:07]: Mentioned in Donovan’s botched PrizePicks ad read — referencing a promotional offer tied to Darnold needing one passing yard. (Context: Darnold was presumably playing in a relevant game around that time.)

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Debates or Strong Opinions Expressed

• Passive-aggressive vs. aggressive people [~00:14:47, Observation Deck]: Both Gordo and George agreed they prefer openly aggressive people over passive-aggressive ones, since at least you know what you’re dealing with. Gordo mocked several passive-aggressive phrases including “Wow, must be nice,” “I thought we were closer than that,” “you do you,” “it’s fine,” and “not sure if you got my text.”

• 4K/HD picture quality [~00:02:01, Observation Deck]: Gordo complained that sports on TV don’t look as high-def as they should. George agreed, noting NBC has the best picture quality among networks, while Amazon Thursday Night Football looks blurry and dark. A P1 named Peter Welton contributed the explanation that most “4K” NFL broadcasts are actually upscaled 1080p, and that Fox/CBS still broadcast in the older 720p or 1080i formats.

• Tesla/AI/robots [~00:15:23, Observation Deck]: Gordo expressed sardonic frustration that the people who warned about the dangers of AI and humanoid robots were mocked and dismissed, and now that it’s all happening, they still aren’t allowed to say “I told you so.” George matter-of-factly predicted that every household will eventually have a humanoid robot. Gordo took it further, imagining each person in a household having their own robot while the humans just sit passively and watch TV in ever-higher resolutions.

• Paul Anka’s legacy [Jub Watches TV]: George made a strong case — after watching the HBO documentary *My Way* — that Paul Anka may be one of the greatest, most prolific, and most underrated songwriters of all time. Gordo admitted he had basically dismissed Anka previously. George pushed back on that casual dismissal, citing Anka’s 900+ songs, 130 albums, 90 million albums sold, seven consecutive decades with Billboard Top 100 hits, and songwriting credits including “My Way” (Sinatra), “She’s a Lady” (Tom Jones), the *Tonight Show* theme, and songs co-written with Michael Jackson.

• His and Hers (Netflix) [Jub Watches TV]: George gave it a mixed “thumbs sideways” — compelling enough to binge in two days but guilty-pleasure viewing with genuinely bad acting. He said you feel like you wasted your time after watching it.

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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable Quotes

• Gordo on the passive-aggressive phrase “it’s fine” [~00:13:21]: Riffed on the idea that when someone says “nothing’s wrong,” they’re actually setting up an emotional obstacle course that you must navigate to prove you care about them.

• Gordo’s hologram TV fantasy [~00:08:51]: “I want to sit in my underwear and have NFL players entertain me in my living room.”

• Gordo’s robot future riff [~00:17:19]: Imagined a future where each person in a household has their own robot, the robots coordinate the family schedule, and the humans just sit in their rooms “having constant orgasms” watching 40K TV — delivered in classic Gordo deadpan absurdist fashion.

• The Roomba/Goomba E-Brake clip [~00:04:34–00:06:39]: The extended silence after the “Sounds like a Goomba” joke, followed by the hollow “That was very funny” from Sean Bass, was played twice and got significant laughs from the Musers. The drop “We were going to have a good show” was also highlighted as a perfect piece of radio.

• Gordo on passive-aggressive phrases, demonstrating them [~00:14:31–00:15:18]: Gordo slipped into doing the phrases himself during the discussion, sarcastically performing “it’s okay to be different” and “I’m presenting my clearly superior position.”

• George guessing “Slim Whitman” [~00:03:03, Jub Watches TV]: When George was trying to guess the subject of the documentary, his first guess was “Slim Whitman” before correctly landing on Paul Anka.

• E-Brake trash can toss intro [~00:00:01–00:01:20]: The segment opened with the hosts trying to toss an empty Diet Coke bottle into a trash can, with Donovan apparently having better form. Someone missed a shot from six inches and tried to style it with a finger roll, which also missed, prompting the comparison: “Greg missed the George Gervin layup.”

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Phone Callers

• “Coach O” [~00:08:32, E-Brake]: A caller doing a bit as Coach O (Ed Orgeron impression), jokingly saying he’d had 37 interviews in the coaching cycle without getting one. Voted for Candidate #1 (Davey) “with an F and F up front.”

• Caller requesting McMurtry karaoke [~00:08:56]: Asked Craig (Junior/SPEAKER_17) to do McMurtry karaoke. The caller sang a line: “Uncle Slayton’s got his Texan pride back in the thickets with his…” and George completed it: “Asian bride.” This appears to be a recurring bit involving the James McMurtry song “Levelland.”

• “Brady Tom” [~00:09:27]: A regular-sounding caller who identified himself as “Brady Tom.” Wished everyone a “good and happy championship week,” noted he knows personally “how it feels to have a joke not be funny,” and voted for Candidate #2 (Sean Bass).

• “Super Quadruple Super Fight Cafe” [~00:10:12]: A caller with a recurring bit identity, voted for “Baby Lane” (Candidate #1, Davey), agreeing with George that nobody cares about the Kardashians.

• E-Brake Man with Phil Collins Birthday Tribute [~00:10:34]: A caller who identified as “E-Brake Man” and sang a Phil Collins parody (“I can feel the cold coming in tonight”), apparently noting it was Phil Collins’ birthday.

• Aston Villa caller [~00:11:03]: A caller who just said “Aston Villa” — explained by someone in studio as a vote for Sean Bass, because Aston Villa is Sean’s Premier League team.

• Cruz and Lito [~00:11:19]: Caller named Cruz (with Lito) voted for Sean Bass and asked Gordo to explain what Olin Mills was to younger listeners. Gordo explained it was a portrait studio chain known for soft-filtered family photos with generic props, active from 1932 until around 2011.

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Guests or Interviews

• Paul Anka audio clips [Jub Watches TV]: Audio from the HBO documentary *My Way* was played, including Paul Anka telling the story of how he wrote “My Way” for Sinatra — sitting in his New York apartment during a thunderstorm, finishing the song in five hours, then flying out to present it to Sinatra at Caesars Palace.

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Recurring Bits, Characters, or Inside Jokes Referenced

• E-Brake trash can toss: The physical bit of tossing a bottle into the trash can before the E-Brake segment appears to be a recurring studio ritual, with the George Gervin “Iceman” finger-roll reference added as color.

• McMurtry karaoke / “Asian bride”: A recurring bit involving singing or referencing lyrics from James McMurtry’s song “Levelland,” apparently a well-established Musers inside joke.

• “Gooning”: Referenced as an inside joke/recurring term on the show, with Gordo noting the Roomba story was “our first reference of gooning in 2026.”

• “Hemet’s Way”: Referenced as a parody version of “My Way” — apparently a Ticket original bit where the song was redone with lyrics about Hemet, California (or a character associated with that). George mentioned finding “the original letter from Merle Miller” in his files related to this bit.

• Brady Tom: Appears to be a recurring caller character/persona on the show.

• E-Brake Man: Appears to be a recurring caller who does themed bits around the E-Brake segment, this time doing a Phil Collins birthday tribute.

• “Coach O”: Recurring caller doing an Ed Orgeron impression.

• E-Brake all-time leaderboard: The show tracks E-Brake wins — Sean Bass is now at 4, tying “Elf,” with Norm still the all-time leader by a wide margin (136 ahead).

• P1 of the Week: George declared Paul Anka the “P1 of the Week” at the end of the Jub Watches TV segment — a recurring bit where someone notable is given honorary P1 (loyal listener) status.

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Three-Paragraph Summary

The January 30, 2026 portion of The Musers opened with the Observation Deck, where Gordo set a light, reflective tone after a harrowing icy commute to the station. The segment wandered through several loosely connected topics: the disappointing reality of sports broadcast picture quality (most “4K” NFL broadcasts are actually upscaled 1080p, per a P1 named Peter Welton), a list of passive-aggressive phrases that friends should avoid, and Tesla’s reported plans to exit personal car manufacturing in favor of robo-taxis and Optimus humanoid robots. Gordo’s commentary on the robots was characteristically absurdist, culminating in a vision of a future where humans sit passively in their rooms watching 40K television while their personal robots handle everything — “having constant orgasms” was the endpoint of that particular thought.

The E-Brake segment presented three candidates: Davey from another Ticket show, who erupted in profane frustration when co-host Corby casually mentioned that Kendall Jenner used to date Devin Booker during an entertainment news segment; Sean Bass, whose deadpan “Sounds like a Goomba” joke after a Florida man story about a Roomba landed in complete radio silence, followed by a defeated “That was very funny”; and Donovan Lewis, who visibly struggled through a live PrizePicks ad read. Callers — including recurring characters like Coach O, Brady Tom, E-Brake Man, and Cruz and Lito — voted overwhelmingly for Sean Bass, giving him his fourth all-time E-Brake win, tying “Elf” on the all-time list.

The Jub Watches TV segment featured George reviewing content he consumed during the ice storm that had kept Dallas homebound for several days. He gave a mixed “thumbs sideways” to the Netflix murder mystery *His and Hers* (compelling despite terrible acting), a strong thumbs up to the Oscar-contending film *Train Dreams*, and enthusiastic praise for the HBO documentary *My Way* about Paul Anka. The Paul Anka discussion was the heart of the segment — George made a detailed case that Anka, now 84 and still performing, may be one of the most underrated and prolific songwriters in music history, having written “My Way” for Sinatra, “She’s a Lady” for Tom Jones, the *Tonight Show* theme, and songs co-written with Michael Jackson including “This Is It.” The segment ended with George declaring Paul Anka the “P1 of the Week.”

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⏰ Mid-Show Analysis

Analysis of The Musers — 2026-01-30 (Middle Portion)

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Segments That Appeared

• Jub Watches TV (~00:01:39–00:14:54): Jub (Craig Miller) recommended two things he’d recently watched — a film starring Joel Edgerton (described as slow-moving but visually beautiful) and an HBO documentary called *My Way* about Paul Anka. The bulk of the segment was a detailed, enthusiastic breakdown of Anka’s career and legacy.

• Norm & The Goose (appears twice, likely two airings or a repeat of the same pre-recorded bit): A recurring Gordo comedy segment parodying veteran Ticket football analyst Rick Gosselin (“The Goose”) and a character named “Norm.” Framed as a Super Bowl preview, it featured absurdist jokes, running gags, and mock sports analysis. Aired as a Super Bowl 60 lead-in.

• E-Brake of the Week: The weekly segment where listeners vote on the most cringe-worthy or “wheels-off” moment from the past week across Ticket shows. Three candidates were presented and listeners called in to vote.

• Observation Deck (partial, transcript cuts off): Gordo’s editorial/observational segment, sponsored by Tyloth Georgiakir. The topic appeared to be UFOs.

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Observation Deck

• The transcript cuts off almost immediately after the segment begins, but Gordo opens by saying the show is “unanimous in all believing in the magic of UFOs” and that “they are among us, they have been among us, and they will continue to be…” — topic: UFO belief/presence.

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Sports Topics Discussed

• Bill Belichick’s Pro Football Hall of Fame snub: In the Norm & The Goose bit, “The Goose” character explains Belichick was not voted in on first-year eligibility due to Spygate, comparing the sentiment to baseball writers punishing steroid-era players. Goose predicts he’ll get in next year.
• Super Bowl 60 preview (via Norm & The Goose comedy bit):
• Predicted winner: Seattle Seahawks over New England Patriots, 34–10
• Goose says Seahawks should be 15-point favorites, not 5
• Predicted Super Bowl MVP: Sam Darnold, completing “one of the most improbable journeys in NFL history” (once considered a bust)
• Super Bowl host city: San Francisco — “Love it”
• E-Brake candidate context: Donovan stumbled through a live PrizePicks ad referencing “Sam Darnold needing one passing yard” for a promotion, confirming Darnold is the Seahawks QB heading into the Super Bowl.

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Notable Debates or Host Disagreements

• During the E-Brake setup, there was a recap of a tense on-air exchange from another Ticket show between “Corby” and “Davey” over a Kendall Jenner Super Bowl commercial story. Davey got visibly frustrated when Corby mentioned Jenner was dating Devin Booker (which Corby noted was outdated — they used to date), derailing Davey’s story. Davey snapped with “Jesus effing F.” The Musers discussed it lightheartedly, with George noting Corby was just trying to add context.

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Phone Callers

• “Coach O” (caller doing an Ed Orgeron impression): Voted for candidate #1 (Davey/the F-bomb moment); joked he’d had 37 coaching interviews and hadn’t landed one.
• McMurtry karaoke caller: Asked Craig to do James McMurtry karaoke; George obliged briefly with a line (“Uncle Slayton’s got his Texan pride back in the thickets with his Asian bride”). Voted for candidate #2.
• “Brady Tom” (a recurring caller persona): Voted for candidate #2 (Sean Bass), saying he knows personally how it feels when a joke doesn’t land.
• “Super Quadruple Super Fight Cafe” (recurring caller): Voted for candidate #1 (Davey), agreeing with George that nobody cares about the Kardashians.
• E-Break Man (caller): Called in with a Phil Collins birthday tribute drum impression (“I can feel the cold, we’re coming in tonight”). Voted for Sean Bass.
• Caller who said “Aston Villa”: Cryptic vote for Sean Bass — explained as a reference to Sean’s Premier League team.
• Cruz and Lito: Voted for Sean Bass; also asked Gordo to explain what Olin Mills was to younger listeners. George explained it was a chain of portrait photography studios known for soft-filter family portraits, with props. Junior looked it up — founded 1932, went out of business around 2011.

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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable One-Liners

• Norm & The Goose is itself a full Gordo comedy bit — a parody interview format with absurdist escalating middle names for “Norm” (Norman Bin Laden Hitchkiss, Norman Caligula Hitchkiss, Norman BTK Hitchkiss, Norman Bear Bear Hitchkiss), and The Goose repeatedly blurting “And I’m horny” after every sports take.
• Gordo’s closing line in the bit: *”You answered with that sexual authority that my own nipples stood up and pointed to my dead loved ones in heaven.”*
• “Norm” signing off: *”My face is drooping and I smell toast.”* (Implying a stroke.)
• The Goose anticipating every question before it’s asked, to Norm’s theatrical amazement.
• During E-Brake, George compared someone’s near-miss trash can toss to “the Tiger Woods walk-off.”
• Sean Bass’s losing E-Brake moment: After reporting a Florida man was arrested for performing a sexual act with his Roomba, someone off-mic said “Sounds like a Goon-ba” — met with complete silence. Sean then said defeatedly, *”That was very funny.”* A drop was played: *”We were going to have a good show.”*
• George on Gordo and Paul Anka: *”Gordo always looked at him as, yeah, Paul Anka. Kind of sounds like Sanka.”*
• Jub’s closing honor: *”Congratulations, Paul Anka, you are our P1 of the week.”*

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Pop Culture, Music, and Non-Sports Topics

• Jub Watches TV — Paul Anka documentary (*My Way*, HBO):
• Anka hit the scene at 15 from Ottawa, signed immediately by a record label
• Toured with Buddy Holly, Fats Domino, Pat Boone, Bobby Darin, Frankie Avalon
• Adapted to the British Invasion by pivoting to Las Vegas nightclubs and Rat Pack circles (Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr., Dean Martin)
• Wrote the *Tonight Show* theme for Johnny Carson in 1962; split publishing with Carson — both got rich as it aired through the 1990s
• Wrote “My Way” for Sinatra by buying a French melody cheaply, rearranging it, and rewriting all the lyrics after hearing Sinatra was retiring — finished in five hours during a thunderstorm in New York
• Wrote “She’s a Lady” for Tom Jones
• Wrote “Having My Baby” (called a “whip song” by the hosts)
• Co-wrote songs with Michael Jackson in the era of *Thriller*; Jackson held the tracks until after his death — one was released featuring Justin Timberlake and became a huge hit; also co-wrote “This Is It”
• “Put Your Head On My Shoulders” became a TikTok sensation in 2021, re-entering the Billboard Top 100; Doja Cat did a mashup with it
• Paul Anka is Jason Bateman’s father-in-law (married Bateman’s wife Amanda)
• Still performing at 84, with upcoming dates in Florida
• Hosts noted: over 900 songs written, 130 albums, 90 million albums sold, only artist with Billboard Top 100 hits in seven consecutive decades
• Jub also recommended a separate film starring Joel Edgerton — described as slow-moving but visually stunning; he said it gets a thumbs up
• George noted he always remembered Paul Anka most for the *Tonight Show* theme
• Gordo admitted he always confused “Anka” with “Sanka” (instant coffee brand)
• Sid Vicious’s cover of “My Way” was mentioned
• The Ticket’s own “Hemet’s Way” (a parody/tribute song) was referenced, and George mentioned finding the original letter from “Merle Miller” about it in his files — he talked about wanting to start an “online Ticket museum/archive”
• Olin Mills portrait studios explained to younger listeners after a caller asked

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3-Paragraph Summary

This portion of the January 30, 2026 Musers opens in the middle of the Jub Watches TV segment, with Craig Miller passionately recommending an HBO documentary called *My Way* about Paul Anka. Jub walked through Anka’s remarkable and largely underappreciated career — from his teenage debut on *The Ed Sullivan Show* touring with Buddy Holly, to his pivot to Vegas and the Rat Pack after the British Invasion, to writing “My Way” for Sinatra in five hours, co-writing songs with Michael Jackson, and earning a TikTok resurgence in 2021 with “Put Your Head On My Shoulders.” The hosts were genuinely surprised by Anka’s depth and prolificacy, with Gordo confessing he’d always associated the name with Sanka instant coffee. Jub closed by crowning Anka the show’s “P1 of the week.”

The show then ran its Norm & The Goose comedy segment (appearing twice in the transcript, likely aired in both the hour leading into and out of a break). It’s a Gordo-written parody featuring “Norm” (a bumbling, overblown interviewer with escalating absurd middle names like “Norman BTK Hitchkiss”) and “The Goose” (a send-up of veteran Ticket football analyst Rick Gosselin), framed as a Super Bowl 60 preview. The bit covers Belichick’s Hall of Fame snub (blamed on Spygate), the Seahawks being predicted to demolish the Patriots 34–10 with Sam Darnold as MVP, and San Francisco as host city — each answer punctuated by The Goose declaring “And I’m horny.” Gordo’s reactions escalated into increasingly unhinged absurdist praise.

The E-Brake of the Week segment featured three candidates: Davey from another Ticket show who dropped an on-air “Jesus effing F” when Corby derailed his Kendall Jenner story with an outdated celebrity dating detail; Sean Bass, whose joke that a Florida man’s Roomba encounter “sounds like a Goon-ba” was met with total silence before he defeatedly murmured “That was very funny”; and Donovan, who visibly struggled through a live PrizePicks ad read. Listeners called in — including recurring characters “Coach O,” “Brady Tom,” and Cruz and Lito — and Sean Bass won with his fourth all-time E-Brake victory, tying him with “Elf” on the all-time list, still far behind Norm. The segment ended with a partial glimpse of The Observation Deck, where Gordo appeared to be setting up a discussion about UFOs.

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🏁 Final Hour Analysis

Here is the analysis of this final portion of The Musers broadcast:

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Segments That Appeared

• Observation Deck (1/21/2026) — Gordo presents a list of “10 hobbies proven to protect your brain as you age,” sponsored by Tylock George Eye Care. The hosts discuss each item and share personal anecdotes about meditation, dancing, puzzles, learning instruments, and more.
• Sports Monster (1/22/2026) — A recurring character bit in which a creature who lives in the woods and learned to talk by listening to The Ticket visits the studio, shares hot takes, and asks to interview the hosts for his “sports monster newsletter.”
• Observation Deck (1/21/2026) — opening continuation — The segment begins mid-discussion of the “Brazilian Roswell” UFO incident from 1996 in Varginha, Brazil, before transitioning into a tangent about the famous “Boom Goes the Dynamite” Ball State student sportscaster.
• Marge Schwimdiddler (1/21/2026) — A recurring Gordo character bit: an eccentric, apparently homeless older woman who claims to have been George’s old swim coach, is obsessed with Ticket personality Tim Kadeshaw, and makes increasingly wild and absurd claims.

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Sports Topics Discussed

• Matt Stafford’s playoff performance, with the Sports Monster praising his longevity and talent (~00:02:43 in Sports Monster segment)
• Cooper Flag mentioned as a potential Mavericks savior (~00:05:56 in Sports Monster segment)
• Dak Prescott referenced obliquely (“cut the cord on Dak,” ~00:05:27 in Sports Monster segment)
• The upcoming Winter Olympics, used as a framing device for the Marge Schwimdiddler bit
• Indiana Pacers vs. New Jersey Nets and Andrew Bogut referenced in the “Brian from Ball State” clip playback

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Funny Moments and Memorable Gordo Bits

• Brazilian Roswell story (~00:00:19, opening segment): Gordo narrates the 1996 Varginha, Brazil UFO incident with straight-faced detail — cigar-shaped spacecraft, a metal that reshapes itself, men in suits threatening a witness, beings with “oily brown skin and large red eyes.” George asks where Gordo’s source is, and someone jokes, “Source is the printer in the break room.” Gordo confirms he printed it off.
• “Brian from Ball State” clip (~00:08:52 onward): The hosts play the legendary viral clip of a nervous Ball State student sportscaster stumbling through a broadcast, including the iconic “passes it to the man… and boom goes the dynamite.” The hosts delight in specific highlights: “Steven Jackson, David…” (abrupt stop), “the Hoosiers are on the four-on,” “we’re going to continue on now,” and the reveal that Andrew Bogut “received very little attention in the presentation” despite being honored. George notes a TV station in Waco once hired Brian, apparently for the publicity.
• Sports Monster bit: A Gordo voice character — a woods-dwelling monster who found a transistor radio in a creek in Collin County in 2008 and learned English from The Musers — visits to interview the hosts for his “sports monster newsletter distributed in the woods to critters that can’t read English.” He asks George and Craig where they met, how long they’ve been doing the show, then pivots to “What y’all think about abortion?” and “Where y’all falling on Trump?” before offering to let hosts ride on his back and asking them to shoot him as he leaves.
• Marge Schwimdiddler bit: Marge, who lives in the Trinity River Bottoms and subsists on “carp and June bugs,” traveled two days to see Tim Kadeshaw and had to “belly crawl the last hundred yards.” She describes Kadeshaw as a “zaddy” and shares explicit fantasy roleplay scenarios involving him, asks George for his FetLife username (“Is it D-M-N Tim?”), accuses George of pushing her off the Grand Canyon on angel dust (leaving her in a motorized chair she controls with eye blinks), attempts to recruit George for an Olympic swim team, and asks to stay in the house George “built for his Ford F-150.” The bit ends with her driving off in the eye-blink-controlled chair.
• Gordo on painting (~00:14:36, Observation Deck): After the list recommends painting for brain health, Gordo says he’s found a more efficient version — “I take a picture with my phone of something. There’s my painting. Knocked it out in a second.”
• Book clubs (~00:16:16, Observation Deck): Gordo suggests most book clubs should be “relabeled wine clubs… wine clubs, bitching about the one that didn’t show up.”
• Gordo diminishing Craig’s harmonica learning (~00:11:49–00:12:07): Gordo suggests harmonica is easy because “you just pick one that’s in the key of what you’re playing in, and if you breathe in and out anywhere on that thing, it basically sounds good.” Craig responds, “Again, why are you diminishing everything I do?”

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Was There a Top 10 Segment?

Yes — within the Observation Deck, Gordo presents a list of “10 hobbies proven to protect your brain as you age.” The items covered (some skipped) were:

• Meditation
• Dancing
• Word and number games (crossword puzzles, Wordle, Sudoku)
• Walking
• Learning a new language (briefly skipped over)
• Puzzles (jigsaw)
• Learning a musical instrument
• Knitting
• Painting
• Joining a book club

Gordo drove the list; George, Craig, and a fourth host (likely Donovan) contributed reactions and personal anecdotes throughout.

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Strong Predictions or Bold Takes

• The Sports Monster declares it’s time to “cut the cord on Dak” and that they need to “put a team around him” while they can (~00:05:27–00:05:35)
• The Sports Monster endorses “Cooper Flag save the Mavs” (~00:05:56)
• Gordo’s implicit take on the Brazilian Roswell: the U.S. military recovered alien beings and debris and flew them back to America on a secret C-17, and ~30 people know the truth

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Phone Callers

None in this portion.

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How the Show Wrapped Up

The broadcast ends after the Marge Schwimdiddler bit without a formal sign-off captured in the transcript. The final exchange is the hosts watching Marge drive away in her eye-blink-controlled motorized chair, with Gordo noting “She does drive that with a series of eye blinks” and a host muttering “Everybody’s using their hands” (~00:05:37–00:05:43 in Marge segment). There are no explicit previews of upcoming segments in this portion.

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Notable Quotes

• *”The proof we have is that there is no proof, because only a technologically advanced society could cover up this well.”* — Gordo, on UFOs
• *”Source is the printer in the break room.”* — on Gordo’s Brazilian Roswell source
• *”He passes it to the man, passes it to the man, and boom goes the dynamite.”* — Brian from Ball State clip
• *”That’s the only thing he had ready. He had a catchphrase ready because he knew all the SportsCenter anchors had one.”* — George, on Brian from Ball State
• *”I find Tim Kadeshaw sexually attractive… He’s what we call a zaddy.”* — Marge Schwimdiddler
• *”Frederick and Baxter, they’re both buried in a diner, so I’m marking them as a maybe.”* — Marge, on the Olympic swim team roster
• *”Sounds pretty good to this little lady who’s eaten nothing but carp and June bugs for the last 15 years.”* — Marge
• *”Again, why are you diminishing everything I do?”* — Craig, to Gordo re: harmonica

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3-Paragraph Summary

This final portion of The Musers opens mid-segment with Gordo narrating the “Brazilian Roswell” — a 1996 UFO incident in Varginha, Brazil involving a cigar-shaped spacecraft, self-reshaping metal, alien beings with oily brown skin and large red eyes, and a military officer who died of a mysterious infection after grabbing one bare-handed. The story is sourced from Gordo’s printer, treated with a mix of genuine intrigue and comic skepticism by the hosts, and eventually gives way to a delightful tangent: the playing of the legendary “Brian from Ball State” clip, a viral college sportscaster segment featuring a nervous student who fumbles through softball scores, misidentifies players as “the man,” and delivers the immortal line “boom goes the dynamite.” The hosts revel in the clip’s many layers — the unexplained phrase “the Hoosiers are on the four-on,” the mid-sentence paper shuffling, and the resigned pivot of “we’re going to continue on now.”

The middle of this portion features two character comedy segments. In the Sports Monster bit, a Gordo-voiced woods creature who learned English by listening to The Musers on a creek transistor radio visits the studio to conduct a newsletter interview, offering hot sports takes (cut Dak, Cooper Flag saves the Mavs, praise for Matt Stafford) before pivoting to questions about abortion and Trump and asking the hosts to shoot him in the back as he exits. This is followed by the Observation Deck, in which Gordo walks through a list of ten brain-protective hobbies — including meditation, dancing, walking, puzzles, and painting — sparking personal tangents: Craig’s 90-day meditation challenge, his father’s lifelong crossword habit, his new harmonica YouTube lessons (which Gordo cheerfully undermines), a P1 listener who gifted each host a personalized acrylic jigsaw puzzle, and a digression about whether book clubs are really just wine clubs.

The portion closes with the Marge Schwimdiddler bit, a recurring Gordo character depicting an eccentric woman living in the Trinity River Bottoms who crawled two days through the wilderness to see Ticket personality Tim Kadeshaw, for whom she harbors elaborate fantasies. She falsely claims to have been George’s swim coach, accuses him of pushing her off the Grand Canyon on angel dust (leaving her wheelchair-bound and controlling her motorized chair via eye blinks), attempts to recruit him for an Olympic swim team with teammates named Bertie, C.B. Erickson, Skeeter, and two men “buried in a diner” listed as maybes, and asks to sleep in the house George allegedly built for his truck. The segment — and the broadcast — ends with Marge rolling out the door in her eye-blink chair, the hosts chuckling, and no formal sign-off.

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Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.