The Musers — 2026-02-13

Chris Chris

Super Bowl LX Bad Bunny Halftime Show The Musers 292026

Observation Deck

Super Bowl LX Ads The Musers 292026

Am I the Jerk

Observation Deck The Musers 292026

Super Bowl LX Gordo Goes Wireless The Musers 262026

Super Bowl LX E-Brake The Musers 1262026

Super Bowl LX Observation Deck The Musers 262026

Am I the Jerk

Observation Deck

Chris Chris

The Musers — 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Friday, February 13, 2026

📋 Segments This Day

Chris Chris
Super Bowl LX Bad Bunny Halftime Show The Musers 292026
Observation Deck
Super Bowl LX Ads The Musers 292026
Am I the Jerk
Observation Deck The Musers 292026
Super Bowl LX Gordo Goes Wireless The Musers 262026
Super Bowl LX E-Brake The Musers 1262026
Super Bowl LX Observation Deck The Musers 262026
Am I the Jerk
Observation Deck
Chris Chris

🎙️ Early Show Analysis

Analysis: The Musers — 2026-02-13 (This Portion)

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Segments That Appeared

Chris Chris [00:00:00]: A recurring comedy bit featuring “Chris Chris,” an absurdly over-the-top character who is “the overly handsome guy from sales.” He interrupts the show (Gordo was attempting to deliver a WNBA mock draft) and brags about consulting for the Olympics, commuting daily to Italy on welded-together Gulfstream jets, his new photo book, and having Lindsey Vonn at his condo. The segment ends with him ski-crashing through the ticker room glass.

Super Bowl LX Bad Bunny Halftime Show [00:00:00]: The hosts discuss the Bad Bunny halftime show at Super Bowl LX (Seahawks beat the Patriots). They break down the visual presentation, the political messaging, the cameos, the Easter eggs, the controversy surrounding his selection, and the Turning Point alternate halftime show featuring Kid Rock.

Observation Deck [00:00:00]: Gordo’s regular segment, covering three loosely connected topics: a P1 named Nick’s scientific follow-up on identical twins and fingerprints/DNA divergence; a Colorado funeral home crime story involving body stacking, quick-crete “ashes,” and luxury vacations funded by grieving families; and a science study on whether apes can pretend, which spiraled into a discussion of teacups, tea parties, and children’s play.

Super Bowl LX Ads [00:00:00]: The hosts rank and discuss their favorite Super Bowl commercials, referencing the New York Times ad rankings. Favorites included the Dunkin’/Good Will Hunting cast reunion, the “Relax Your Tight End” prostate cancer PSA, the Lays farmer ad, Ben Stiller’s banana/rock star wipeout ad, and the Emma Stone/Squarespace ad (NYT’s #1).

Am I the Jerk [00:00:00]: A recurring segment where listeners submit ethical dilemmas. Two scenarios discussed: a grocery store customer whose reusable bag system was rejected by a bagger who walked off; and a fast food customer who silently waited 44 minutes as a social experiment before sarcastically asking “Is that normal?” and receiving a free cookie.

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Sports Topics Discussed

Cowboys (indirect reference) [~Observation Deck 00:05:21]: In a side tangent during the Observation Deck, Gordo recounts being shouted down when he suggested Dak Prescott couldn’t replace Tony Romo, noting sarcastically that “Dak Prescott hadn’t been the Cowboys quarterback for 12 years, so how could he be one?”
Stars (indirect) [~Observation Deck 00:05:36]: A brief reference to Eddie Belfour and a “cough syrup game,” apparently a past prediction Gordo made that came true and that others dismissed at the time.
Super Bowl LX: The Seahawks defeated the Patriots. Bad Bunny carried a football high and tight throughout the halftime show; a joke was made that “he already gained more yards than the Patriots.”
Dick Fosbury [Observation Deck ~00:02:52]: Brief sports history reference in the context of Gordo’s funeral wishes — the Fosbury Flop high jump technique.

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Debates or Strong Opinions Expressed

Bad Bunny Halftime Show [Halftime Show segment throughout]:
All three hosts (George, Gordo, and a third host) were broadly positive about the visual spectacle of the show even while admitting unfamiliarity with the music.
George and Gordo pushed back on pre-show outrage, calling it thinly veiled xenophobia or cultural bias, noting Bad Bunny is an American citizen and that no similar outrage met U2, Paul McCartney, the Rolling Stones, or Shakira.
George pointedly noted the Turning Point alternate halftime (Kid Rock) featured a performer with lyrics about sleeping with underage girls.
Gordo admitted mild annoyance that Bad Bunny didn’t offer even one English phrase as a gesture toward the English-speaking audience.
A host noted compassion for Spanish speakers who are “very fearful right now” amid immigration enforcement, calling it part of why the show resonated.

Grocery store bagger [Am I the Jerk]:
Unanimous: the bagger who walked off was the jerk. The customer offering to help and having a clear system was seen as reasonable.

44-minute fast food wait [Am I the Jerk]:
Mixed verdict: the passive-aggressive “Is that normal?” comment was seen as slightly jerk-ish, but the underlying grievance (44 minutes, watching others get food first) was completely valid. Craig shared a similar personal experience.

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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable Quotes

Chris Chris segment [throughout]: The entire Chris Chris bit was comedic. Highlights:
His new book: *”2,200 Pictures of a Kick-Ass Guy in Kick-Ass Settings” — no words, just pictures of me.*
On being so successful: *”I’m so successful, I don’t even go to the bathroom anymore.”*
He welded two Gulfstream jets together to go “twice as fast” commuting to Italy daily for the Olympics.
He’s been sleeping with the Norwegian biathlete’s ex-girlfriend for a year and opens with an “apology” to the biathlete.
Lindsey Vonn is recuperating at his condo and texting him “beef shots.”
The bit ends with him ski-crashing through the ticker room glass again; Baldy reports only 10 of the 2,200 book photos survived (the others were “redacted”).
George is revealed to have never actually finished his WNBA mock draft due to constant interruptions.

Gordo’s Observation Deck funeral home story [~00:07:16]: Dark comedy around the quick-crete “ashes” bit — *”Just don’t mix with water. It’ll be hard to get out of the container.”* Gordo noted the branding would say “Sets in One Hour.”

Pita/tombstone tangent [Observation Deck ~00:01:37]: After a host casually mentioned having a pita for lunch two or three times a week, Gordo insisted it become his tombstone epitaph. The host then repeated the same pita line again moments later without realizing it, prompting the board op Tyler to immediately turn it into a drop.

Gordo’s funeral wish [Observation Deck ~00:02:44]: Gordo described his old wish to have his body animated like a marionette, walk himself down the aisle of his own funeral, and do a Fosbury Flop into his own coffin.

Tea party tangent [Observation Deck ~00:12:53]: The ape/pretending discussion turned into a lengthy riff on why tea parties are “one of the worst deals we’ve ever had” — teacups are too small, the finger hole is too tight, and the British are at fault. Suggestion to replace it with a “gummy party” with pretend cannabis strains for children.
*”These are daddy’s special gummies over here.”*

Mick Jagger English joke [Halftime Show ~00:08:46]: In response to criticism that Bad Bunny didn’t sing in English — *”Mick Jagger hadn’t sung in English his whole career.”*

Super70sSports tweet [Halftime Show ~00:10:58]: Bad Bunny walking the field with a football — *”He’s already gained more yards than the Patriots.”*

Good Will Hunting/Dunkin’ ad recreation [Ads segment ~00:01:37]: The hosts played audio from the ad and clearly enjoyed it, identifying Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston, Jason Alexander, Ted Danson, Matt LeBlanc, Tom Brady, and others — all de-aged.

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Recurring Bits, Characters, or Inside Jokes Referenced

Chris Chris: Long-running character — “overly handsome guy from sales” who crashes the show with absurd brags and then ski-crashes through the ticker room glass. References to the previously established character K. Rach (a real sales colleague who reportedly confirmed Chris Chris is sleeping on his couch and hasn’t sold anything in two years). Baldy (a staff member) confirmed the book was left behind.

The Observation Deck: Gordo’s named recurring segment, sponsored by Tylock George Eye Care and Generator Supercenter.

Am I the Jerk: Recurring listener submission segment with email address [email protected].

Drops/Board op bit: The pita comment being instantly turned into a drop by Tyler is a recurring show mechanic.

“One of the worst deals we’ve ever had”: Appears to be a recurring Gordo/show phrase, used here about teacups and tea parties.

Eddie Belfour / Cough syrup game: Referenced as past show moments where Gordo was shouted down on predictions that later proved correct.

Dak Prescott / Tony Romo debate: Referenced as a past on-air argument where Gordo was shouted down.

The Musers The Podcast: Plugged during the Observation Deck — current week’s episode covers how the hosts want their families to remember them after death.

Jesse the Usher: Teased as a guest at 8:40 (the “head usher for the halftime show”) — a recurring joke character, not covered in this portion.

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Phone Callers

No phone callers appeared in this portion. Listener feedback from “P1s” (loyal listeners) was read on-air:

P1 Nick submitted a detailed scientific email on epigenetic DNA divergence in identical twins [Observation Deck ~00:00:51].
Multiple P1s texted in during the halftime segment to correct a claim that the boy who received Bad Bunny’s Grammy was actually Liam Ramos — confirmed it was an actor playing him symbolically [Halftime Show ~00:12:45].

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Guests or Interviews

Jesse the Usher was teased as a guest coming up at 8:40 [Halftime Show ~00:00:13] but did not appear in this portion of the transcript.

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Summary

This portion of the February 13, 2026 Musers opens with the long-running comedy character Chris Chris crashing what was supposed to be a WNBA mock draft segment. Chris Chris — the “overly handsome guy from sales” — delivers his usual barrage of absurd lies: consulting for the Olympics, commuting daily to Italy on welded jets, publishing a wordless photo book of himself, and having Lindsey Vonn recovering at his condo. The bit ends with his trademark exit through the ticker room glass. The WNBA mock draft, as usual, never got finished.

The bulk of the show in this portion focused on Super Bowl LX postgame content — the Bad Bunny halftime show and the commercials. All three hosts praised the halftime show’s visual spectacle and cinematic staging even while admitting unfamiliarity with the music, and they pushed back firmly on the pre-show outrage, calling it xenophobic and noting Bad Bunny is an American citizen. The hosts highlighted Easter eggs including a real wedding on the field, cameos from Lady Gaga, Ricky Martin, Jessica Alba, Cardi B, and Pedro Pascal, and a symbolic moment where Bad Bunny gave his Grammy to a boy representing Liam Ramos, a five-year-old detained by ICE. The Turning Point alternate halftime featuring Kid Rock was used as a pointed counterexample. On commercials, the group broadly agreed on favorites — the Dunkin’/Good Will Hunting reunion, the prostate cancer PSA with Tony Gonzalez and Gronk, the Lays farmer ad, and the Emma Stone/Squarespace spot (the NYT’s top pick).

The Observation Deck covered three eccentric topics: a scientific P1 email about identical twins having genetically divergent fingerprints by age 30; a ghoulish Colorado funeral home crime story where operators stacked bodies, gave families quick-crete as ashes, and took luxury vacations; and a study on whether apes can pretend, which spiraled beautifully into a riff on teacups being “one of the worst deals we’ve ever had,” the Boston Tea Party as an anti-teacup revolt, and a suggestion to replace children’s tea parties with pretend cannabis gummy parties. The Am I the Jerk segment closed things out with two scenarios — a defiant grocery store bagger and a passive-aggressive fast food experimenter — prompting a broader conversation about restaurant wait times, hostess underpromising, and Craig’s own recent identical experience standing forgotten in an empty burger restaurant.

⏰ Mid-Show Analysis

Here is the analysis of this portion of The Musers broadcast:

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Segments That Appeared

Am I the Jerk (~00:08:00–00:13:51 in the opening block): A listener submitted a scenario about being at a bar/grill patio with his dog, drinking beer and watching football, when a woman walked up with 8–10 kids, told them to sit next to him without asking, then walked 20 feet away to an adults-only table. He objected, dropped an F-bomb to the bartender, and got kicked out. The hosts debated whether he was the jerk.
Observation Deck (Post-Super Bowl) (Observation Deck — The Musers 29/2026): Gordo’s segment reflecting on Super Bowl LX observations — celebrities in the crowd, the Seattle Seahawks’ uniforms, the Patriots QB’s youth, a field streaker, Robert Kraft’s wife, the “twelves” fan branding, and a preview of Super Bowl commercial discussion.
Gordo Goes Wireless (Super Bowl LX — The Musers 26/2026): Gordo took a wireless mic around Radio Row at the San Francisco Convention Center on the Friday before Super Bowl LX, interviewing various people including a convention center food/beverage manager, Ithaca College students, a San Francisco 49ers radio host, a man carrying a rice/feed bag, and an NBC San Francisco reporter named Ginger.
E-Brake (Super Bowl LX — The Musers 1/26/2026): The weekly Emergency Brake segment presented three candidates from Super Bowl week: (1) Bob from The Hard Line awkwardly segueing from a discussion about the Epstein/Steve Tisch story to “getting some Chinese”; (2) producer EA falling asleep on-air during Sunday morning tennis talk, then immediately waking up with a hot take; (3) Corby stepping into a bear trap by asking Jozy Altidore about his wife (tennis player Sloane Stephens), apparently unaware they may be separated or divorcing. Callers voted; EA won.
Observation Deck (Super Bowl week, Friday morning) (Super Bowl LX Observation Deck — The Musers 26/2026): Gordo’s Friday morning Observation Deck from Radio Row, covering his omission of 4 Non Blondes from a prior list of San Francisco bands, his nighttime walk up Market/Powell Street, San Francisco streetcar turntable mechanics, the city’s cleanup efforts for the Super Bowl, and the “fentanyl flop” — people walking bent at 90 degrees.

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Observation Deck Segments

Two Observation Deck segments appeared:

Post-Super Bowl Observation Deck (29/2026):

Roger Federer spotted in the crowd; Gordo noted his name has “a lot of R’s”
Jon Bon Jovi was shown in the crowd and appeared in a commercial with Key & Danny McBride; hosts critiqued his hair (“1970s mom” style)
Adam Sandler and Hailey Bieber shown in the crowd
Debate over whether Jay-Z was accompanied by Beyoncé or Blue Ivy; hosts concluded it was likely Blue Ivy (age 14) despite resemblance to Beyoncé, noting the announcer called her part of Jay-Z’s “crew”
The Super Bowl opened with a touchback — Gordo found this anticlimactic
Gordo expressed his longtime skepticism of the Seattle Seahawks as a franchise (“cheap quality”), though acknowledged they’re worth ~$10 billion; noted they now have four Super Bowl appearances (two titles) during the Cowboys’ drought
Seattle’s head coach is left-handed; Gordo noted only ~10% of people are left-handed, with twice as many lefty men as women
The Patriots QB (Sam Darnold) looks like “a 13-year-old in his helmet”; discussion of him being the second-youngest QB in Super Bowl history behind Dan Marino
A shirtless streaker ran onto the field with 13 minutes left; Gordo felt the network was right not to show it; noted Mike Tirico called him a “rocket scientist” twice
Robert Kraft’s wife noted as very young and attractive; she was described as a rocket scientist; Jordan Hudson was said to have worn an “Orchids of Asia” T-shirt trolling Kraft
Gordo mocked the Seahawks’ “twelves” fan branding and “dark side” defense nickname
Tease of upcoming Super Bowl commercial discussion, with Gordo predicting George’s favorite was the Andy Sandberg/Neil Diamond sandwich commercial

Friday Morning Super Bowl Week Observation Deck (26/2026):

[00:01:27] Gordo apologized for omitting 4 Non Blondes from a previous segment listing great San Francisco bands; called their song “What’s Up” a terrible earworm that doesn’t deserve its classic status the way “Don’t Stop Believin'” or “Sweet Caroline” do
Gordo’s nighttime walk up Market/Powell Street in San Francisco — described Powell Street as beautiful, “Christmas Village”-looking with red bricks
Observed San Francisco streetcars and their manual turntable at the end of Powell Street; debated whether it’s kept manual for tourist theater or could be mechanized
City streets requiring hopscotching around human waste; noted workers in fluorescent vests constantly sweeping, attributed to Super Bowl preparation (“every Super Bowl city tries to fake it”)
[00:08:13] The “fentanyl flop” — people seen walking bent over at a 90-degree angle on the streets of San Francisco; came up at dinner with Donny and again with The Hard Line

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Sports Topics Discussed

Super Bowl LX: Seattle Seahawks won; Gordo gave a backhanded congratulations while criticizing their uniforms and franchise history; noted this is their fourth Super Bowl appearance and second title during the Cowboys’ prolonged absence from the big game
Patriots QB Sam Darnold: Hosts discussed his youth; he was noted as the second-youngest QB in Super Bowl history; Dan Marino (jokingly said to be “only 14” at the time) was the youngest
Joe Burrow: Mentioned as another young QB who made the Super Bowl early (second year) but hasn’t returned since
Seattle Seahawks franchise value: About to sell for ~$10 billion
Australian Open: Producer EA, while asleep on-air, woke up to declare Djokovic deserved to win and that Alcaraz is “a poser”; Gordo disagreed with the Alcaraz take
Jozy Altidore interview (E-Brake): Former U.S. soccer star interviewed at Radio Row; has a stake in the Buffalo Bills and their new open-air stadium; Corby stepped into the bear trap about his wife Sloane Stephens

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Notable Debates or Host Disagreements

[Observation Deck 29/2026, ~00:03:00–00:04:20] Whether the woman shown with Jay-Z at Super Bowl LX was Beyoncé or Blue Ivy; Craig believed it was Blue Ivy based on Instagram photos; Gordo and George were skeptical since Blue Ivy is only 14
[Observation Deck 29/2026, ~00:05:55–00:06:01] Gordo called the Seahawks a “cheap franchise”; George corrected him, noting they’re about to sell for $10 billion
[Observation Deck 26/2026, ~00:06:02–00:06:31] Whether the Powell Street streetcar turntable is kept manual for tourist theater or out of necessity; Gordo suspected theater, George wasn’t sure

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Phone Callers

During the E-Brake voting segment:

A caller who bonded with the hosts over chasing tornadoes but didn’t clearly vote
A caller who voted for Bob (“oriental insensitivity”); another host noted his voice sounded like “fake Coco”
Cruz and Lito called in to vote for EA
A caller voted for EA and requested a “CPAP” for him
A caller identifying as “fake Brady Tom” called; hosts moved on
A caller who said he could “call George and say I like the ball” (obscure reference); hosts said they were not close to that
A caller who said he’d “been drinking,” fell in a fountain, referenced “Sydney Christmas,” and voted for “a car” (Alcaraz?)
A caller who said hearing the E-Brake on Friday morning makes him “scream at the top of his lungs”
A caller referencing “circumcision” and claiming Gordo asked about it the day before; voted for Bob and Chinese
A caller who voted for Bob and asked George about a “reverse plunger”
A caller who listed 90s Cowboys names (Dale, Tony Tolbert, Dirk); hosts moved on
A caller who riffed on Rick Astley/The Smiths but gave no vote
The final deciding caller voted for EA (the sleepy producer), making EA the winner

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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable One-Liners

[Observation Deck 29/2026, ~00:01:08] On Jon Bon Jovi’s hair: “More of a… 1970s mom.”
[Observation Deck 29/2026, ~00:02:00] On the Jay-Z/Beyoncé confusion: “According to my facial recognition software that I’m running right now in my head, I really don’t care.”
[Observation Deck 29/2026, ~00:04:55] On the Seahawks franchise: “This is like a knockoff video game version of the NFL that I’m watching in a uniform they’d put on that.”
[Observation Deck 29/2026, ~00:07:50] On Sam Darnold: “He looks like the younger guy at the pawn shop that’s learning the ropes… He still has to ask the big guy how much they can offer for something.”
[Observation Deck 29/2026, ~00:09:22] On Robert Kraft’s wife being described as a rocket scientist: Tirico’s “rocket scientist” line about the streaker was immediately followed by the same phrase being used admiringly about Kraft’s wife — Gordo enjoyed the juxtaposition
[Gordo Goes Wireless] After asking the convention center food manager about her kids, Gordo asked if she was married; she revealed she was divorced; Craig: “Way to go, leave her alone.” Gordo, into the mic: “Things happen. We’ve all been there.” (His eyes reportedly lit up per the anchor.)
[Gordo Goes Wireless] To the Ithaca College student who kept insisting AI won’t fully replace humans due to “human connection”: Gordo cut him off mid-sentence: “I’ve done talking. I’m done talking to you about this.”
[Gordo Goes Wireless] Gordo interviewed a man carrying what appeared to be a rice/feed bag and spontaneously mentioned Dallas now has goats at White Rock Lake — then said it again unprompted to the NBC reporter Ginger.
[Gordo Goes Wireless, ~00:10:54] To Ginger, the NBC San Francisco reporter, after learning her aunt’s designer purse was from a deceased aunt: “Dead cow and a dead aunt come together and now you get a purse.”
[Gordo Goes Wireless] Gordo told Ginger he knew Terry McSweeney (a weekend anchor at her station) and said “He slid into my DMs” — causing Ginger to say she’d have to tell him about this conversation.
[Gordo Goes Wireless] Ginger’s parting question to Gordo: “Who killed Kennedy?” Gordo: “Do you have an opinion?” Ginger: “None that I probably can share.”
[E-Brake] On EA waking from dead sleep to immediately declare Djokovic deserved to win and Alcaraz is “a poser”: Gordo: “You know what else is bad about that? Alcaraz is not a poser. It was a terrible [take].”
[E-Brake] Gordo recalled his own classic bear trap moment — asking Marissa Miller if she was “still married to that NFL player” at a Super Bowl while her PR crew violently waved him off, as she and Jim Miller had divorced two years prior and her new partner was standing right behind her
[Observation Deck 26/2026] On the 4 Non Blondes’ “What’s Up”: “How can a song this bad be such an earworm?” — and noting it’s confusingly named “What’s Up” when everyone shouts “What’s going on?”
[Observation Deck 26/2026] After saying one of the themed streetcars looked “Asian-themed” because it was in Chinatown, George said “no offense” and someone called it a Bill Parcells recovery, leading to a discussion of Parcells saying “no offense to the orientals” in a press conference and Barry Switzer using a shortened version of “Japanese” to describe a play style

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Pop Culture, Music, and Non-Sports Topics

Jon Bon Jovi: Appearance at Super Bowl LX, his aging look, his hair (“1970s mom”), and his commercial with Key & Danny McBride featuring “Livin’ on a Prayer”
Beyoncé / Blue Ivy / Jay-Z: Identity debate from the Super Bowl broadcast; announcer referring to Beyoncé (or Blue Ivy) as part of Jay-Z’s “crew”
Adam Sandler and Hailey/Justin Bieber: Spotted in the Super Bowl crowd
Robert Kraft’s wife: Described as a rocket scientist; Jordan Hudson’s “Orchids of Asia” T-shirt trolling Kraft discussed
Dan Marino age joke: George joked Marino was “only 14” when he led the Dolphins to the Super Bowl — a running bit
4 Non Blondes / “What’s Up”: Gordo’s apology for omitting them from his SF bands list; called the song terrible but an undeniable earworm; compared it unfavorably to “Don’t Stop Believin’,” “Sweet Caroline,” and a-ha’s “Take On Me”
Bill Parcells / Barry Switzer: Both recalled for racially insensitive remarks in press conferences involving Japanese/Oriental references; discussed with “different time” caveats
San Francisco streetcars on Powell Street: Manual turntable operation, tourist theater vs. necessity debate
The “fentanyl flop”: San Francisco street drug culture observation — people bent at 90-degree angles; Super Bowl cleanup crews in fluorescent vests
AI taking jobs: Brief exchange with Ithaca College students; Gordo dismissively told the student he was “done talking” after the student kept insisting human connection would save journalism jobs
Rick Astley / The Smiths: A caller posed the question “What if The Smiths did Rick Astley?” — no real discussion followed

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Summary

This portion of The Musers broadcast spans Super Bowl LX week and the immediate aftermath, with the show broadcasting from Radio Row in San Francisco. The opening segment wraps up an “Am I the Jerk” submission about a bar patron who got kicked out after dropping an F-bomb when a stranger’s kids were parked next to him without permission — hosts largely sympathized with him but acknowledged the profanity around children complicated things. The post-Super Bowl “Observation Deck” had Gordo offering his trademark cultural observations: mild mockery of the Seahawks’ uniforms and “twelves” branding, confusion over whether Jay-Z’s companion was Beyoncé or Blue Ivy, commentary on Sam Darnold looking like a kid at a pawn shop, and amusement at the juxtaposition of Tirico calling the field streaker a “rocket scientist” moments before the term was used admiringly for Robert Kraft’s scientifically accomplished younger wife.

The Friday morning Radio Row content showed the show at its most irreverent. Gordo’s “Goes Wireless” bit was a highlight, featuring his signature man-on-the-street style — disarming strangers with oddly personal questions, pivoting from a divorced convention center worker’s love life to goats at White Rock Lake to a dead aunt’s Valentino purse. The E-Brake segment brought three strong candidates from the week: Bob from The Hard Line inadvertently segueing from an Epstein trafficking story to “getting some Chinese,” EA the producer falling dead asleep on-air during tennis talk only to wake with an instant (bad) hot take, and Corby stepping into a bear trap by asking Jozy Altidore about his apparently estranged wife Sloane Stephens. Callers voted enthusiastically in the E-Brake phone segment, which had its usual parade of randoms, and EA ultimately won his fourth all-time E-Brake.

The Friday morning Observation Deck rounded

🏁 Final Hour Analysis

Analysis: Final Portion of The Musers — 2026-02-13

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Segments in This Portion

Observation Deck (opening carryover, ~00:08:16): The tail end of a Super Bowl trip recap segment, with Gordo and George discussing their San Francisco experiences — walking the streets, encounters with drug users, running into Jason Kelce, dining solo at John’s Steakhouse, and debating its quality.
Am I the Jerk: Three listener-submitted ethical dilemmas are read and debated by the hosts. Topics include a bagger refusing to use a customer’s own bags, a man who silently waited 44 minutes for fast food as an experiment, and a man who got kicked out of a bar after a woman parked her kids next to him without asking.
Observation Deck (with Gordo): Gordo’s formal segment covering three topics: a follow-up on identical twins and fingerprints (with a detailed listener email from a scientist named Nick), a Colorado funeral home scandal involving hundreds of mishandled bodies and QuikCrete passed off as ashes, and a study on whether apes can pretend — which spiraled into a tangent about teacups and tea parties.
Chris Chris: A recurring comedy bit featuring “Chris Chris, the overly handsome guy from sales,” an absurdist character who interrupts the WNBA mock draft segment with outrageous claims about wealth, Olympic consulting, welded Gulfstream jets, and a connection to a Norwegian biathlete’s cheating scandal.

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Sports Topics Discussed

WNBA Mock Draft (briefly, interrupted by Chris Chris bit): A host (likely Donovan/Junior) attempted to present a WNBA mock draft. Dallas Wings hold the number one pick and are projected to select Ozzie Fudd. Minnesota at number two projected to take Awa Pham (6’4″ center). Seattle Storm pick at number three was never reached due to the interruption. [Chris Chris segment, ~00:00:00–00:00:38]
Jason Kelce mentioned briefly — Gordo ran into him on the street in San Francisco near Powell Street. [~00:09:28]
Dak Prescott / Tony Romo referenced as a past example of Gordo being “shouted down” on a sports take. [Observation Deck, ~00:05:21–00:05:33]
Eddie Belfour mentioned as another instance of Gordo being dismissed by the group. [~00:05:36–00:05:47]
Dick Fosbury referenced in passing during a joke about Gordo’s funeral wishes. [Observation Deck, ~00:02:52–00:03:09]
Winter Olympics / Milan-Cortina 2026 referenced via the Chris Chris bit — Chris Chris claims to be the “primary consultant for Olympics,” commuting daily to Italy. [Chris Chris, ~00:02:35–00:04:01]
Norwegian biathlete Sterla Holm referenced — the hosts had apparently discussed a real story about him cheating on his girlfriend; Chris Chris claims responsibility. [Chris Chris, ~00:04:44–00:05:27]
Lindsey Vonn name-dropped by Chris Chris as recuperating at his condo. [Chris Chris, ~00:06:00–00:06:10]

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Funny Moments and Memorable Gordo Bits

Gordo getting emotional about drugs: Gordo melodramatically says he gets “choked up” talking about fentanyl and lean while describing San Francisco street scenes, then pivots immediately to comic drug trivia. [~00:08:30–00:08:54]
Gordo approaching Jason Kelce aggressively: Gordo admits he walked up fast toward a familiar-looking man “as if he had ill intent” to scare him — and it turned out to be Jason Kelce. [~00:09:14–00:09:32]
Gordo’s steak disappointment: Despite claiming the meal at John’s Steakhouse was “great,” he immediately adds that Dallas steakhouses are “much better,” speculating the host seated him near the mop bucket and gave him “yesterday’s steak.” George jokes: “He’s just in off the street.” [~00:10:48–00:11:49]
Gordo skipping Fisherman’s Wharf: After weighing whether to walk 45 minutes each way, Gordo decided to go back to his hotel room and “look at pictures of it online” instead. George delivers the kicker: “That’s a typical night for Gordo.” [~00:13:42–00:14:23]
George accidentally repeating himself live: George says “I have a pita for lunch probably two or three times a week,” and then says it again moments later without realizing it. Gordo points out that producer Tyler had already turned it into a drop before George even noticed. [Observation Deck, ~00:01:37–00:04:24]
Gordo’s funeral wish: Gordo revisits his desire to have his body animated like a marionette, walk himself down the aisle of his own funeral, and do the Fosbury Flop into his coffin. [Observation Deck, ~00:02:39–00:02:56]
QuikCrete ashes punchline: While covering the funeral home scandal, Gordo jokes that families received QuikCrete instead of ashes, adding: “Just don’t mix with water. It’ll be hard to get out of the container.” [Observation Deck, ~00:07:14–00:07:22]
Tea party tangent: A discussion about apes pretending spirals into a long riff about how teacups are “one of the worst deals we’ve ever had,” why little girls are steered toward tea parties, and whether boys should instead have “pretend gummy parties.” [Observation Deck, ~00:11:48–00:15:47]
Chris Chris bit: The recurring character (performed by Gordo) interrupts the WNBA draft to boast about his Aston Martin, a book of 2,200 photos of himself (“no words”), commuting daily to Italy on welded-together Gulfstream jets, being at the center of the Norwegian biathlete cheating story, and Lindsey Vonn texting him from his condo. He’s ultimately revealed by the other hosts to be unemployed and sleeping on a coworker’s couch. [Chris Chris segment throughout]

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Phone Callers

P1 Nick (not a live caller, but a listener email read on air): A science-minded listener with Greek heritage submitted a detailed email with the subject line “Epigenetic divergence of DNA sequencing in older identical twins,” arguing that by around age 30, enough methylation and mutation divergence occurs that identical twins could potentially be distinguished genetically. Gordo praised him and joked he should have just said “I like gyro sandwiches.” [Observation Deck, ~00:03:12–00:04:07]

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Strong Predictions or Bold Takes

P1 Nick’s scientific estimate: Speculated that the genetic divergence between identical twins becomes forensically meaningful around age 30, though he acknowledged uncertainty about the exact inflection point. [Observation Deck, ~00:03:49–00:04:03]
WNBA Mock Draft picks stated with confidence: Dallas Wings taking Ozzie Fudd at #1 called “a no-brainer”; Minnesota taking Awa Pham at #2 described as “too good to pass up” despite a potential positional mismatch. [Chris Chris segment intro, ~00:00:20–00:00:31]

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How the Show Wrapped Up

The show ended mid-bit with the Chris Chris character. After being exposed by the host (Donovan/Junior) as unemployed, a non-seller for two years, and sleeping on coworker K-Rates’s couch, Chris Chris announces he will “downhill ski out of the Ticket” — apparently a recurring gag involving him crashing through the studio glass. Baldy (the producer) reports that Chris Chris left a copy of his photo book behind, with 10 of 2,200 photos redacted. The host wraps by saying he hopes to finish the WNBA mock draft tomorrow. [~00:06:35–00:07:06]

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Notable Quotes

Gordo on San Francisco: *”God bless San Francisco and their overrated John’s Steakhouse.”* [~00:14:40]
George on Gordo’s night out: *”Screen time and he complains about a meal. That’s a typical night for Gordo.”* [~00:14:22]
Chris Chris on his success: *”Y’all still struggling in 5 Figville?”* [Chris Chris, ~00:01:01]
Chris Chris on his book: *”It’s called 2,200 Pictures of a Kick-Ass Guy in Kick-Ass Settings. There’s no words.”* [~00:01:56–00:02:03]
Chris Chris on DocuSign: *”They don’t get DocuSign in Italy, so I have to fly back to sign stuff.”* [~00:04:07–00:04:10]
Gordo/Observation Deck on dentists: *”I don’t know what it is about dentists that are so strange, but they are just odd.”* [~00:10:05–00:10:10]
Junior on the Am I the Jerk bagger scenario: *”Literally, it’s your job.”* [Am I the Jerk, ~00:01:47]

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3-Paragraph Summary

The final portion of this Musers broadcast opened with the tail end of a Super Bowl week San Francisco recap, with Gordo and George swapping stories from their time in the city — Gordo accidentally menacing Jason Kelce on the street, eating alone near a mop bucket at John’s Steakhouse, and ultimately choosing to look at Fisherman’s Wharf photos online rather than walk there. The segment was full of light ribbing between the hosts, with George summarizing Gordo’s trip as “screen time and complaining about a meal,” and Gordo signing off with a backhanded blessing for San Francisco and its “overrated” steakhouse.

The Am I the Jerk segment provided three strong listener scenarios for debate. The group unanimously sided against the bagger who refused a customer’s reusable bag request and walked off, though they acknowledged the profanity complicates the case of the man kicked out of a bar after a woman planted her unsupervised children on the couch next to him. Junior’s own story of silently waiting at a burger restaurant mirrored the second scenario, and the hosts debated whether passive waiting is truly a jerk move or just a social experiment. The Observation Deck then covered a range of Gordo’s trademark eclectic material: a thoughtful listener email about the genetics of identical twins (prompting jokes about gyros and tombstone epitaphs), a disturbing Colorado funeral home scandal involving stacked bodies, bone grinders, and QuikCrete passed off as cremated remains, and a lighter tangent about whether apes can pretend that devolved into a full critique of teacups and the social construction of tea parties.

The show closed with the Chris Chris bit, a recurring absurdist comedy segment in which Gordo voices “Chris Chris, the overly handsome guy from sales” — a cartoonishly delusional braggart who interrupted the WNBA mock draft to claim he consults for the Olympics, commutes daily to Italy on welded Gulfstreams, authored a wordless photo book of himself, and is somehow at the center of the Norwegian biathlete cheating scandal while also housing Lindsey Vonn in his condo. The bit ended as it apparently always does: Chris Chris is exposed as unemployed and couch-surfing, announces he will “downhill ski out of the Ticket,” and the hosts wrap by promising to finish the WNBA mock draft the following day.

Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.