The Musers — 2026-02-26

The Musers — 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Thursday, February 26, 2026

📋 Segments This Day

• Marge Schwimdiddler
• TV Talk
• Marge Schwimdiddler
• TV Talk
• Observation Deck

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🎙️ Early Show Analysis

Analysis: The Musers — 2026-02-26 (Marge Schwimdiddler + TV Talk Segments)

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Segments in This Portion

• Marge Schwimdiddler [00:00:00–00:08:00]: A recurring Gordo comedy bit in which a character named Marge, introduced as George Dunham’s old high school swim coach, visits the studio. Marge is a delusional, wheelchair-bound older woman who claims to have had a romantic relationship with George and blames him for ruining the team’s shot at Olympic gold. George repeatedly and firmly denies all of it.

• TV Talk [00:00:00–00:11:51]: The hosts discuss the Stephen King Hulu/Netflix miniseries *11.22.63* (2016), which George had recently binge-watched after it was re-promoted on Netflix. Discussion covers the show’s premise, quality, Gordo’s history with the source novel, and a listener clarification about why the show was suddenly appearing on Netflix.

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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable Quotes

• Marge Schwimdiddler bit [00:00:33–00:08:00]: This is a full Gordo character bit. Highlights include:
• Marge lamenting that she hadn’t “cuddled with anything other than a diseased coyote in 17 years” and contracting “contact mange” from it [00:02:02–00:02:14]
• Claiming George “filled out those swim trunks something fierce” and “experienced no shrinkage” in the pool [00:04:30–00:04:35]
• The line: *”This man was hung more than a Simi Valley jury”* [00:04:38]
• The increasingly dark reveal that George’s character allegedly pushed Marge off a high dive into a drained pool, paralyzing her, before delivering the line *”Good riddance, shrimp diddler”* — which is where the segment name comes from [00:05:25–00:05:56]
• Marge asking to live in George’s “go-kart airplane hangar” or “crypto-mining data center” [00:07:27–00:07:37]
• Final line: *”I haven’t had a solid bowel movement in 20 years, George”* [00:07:47]
• George’s consistent, exasperated denials throughout the bit served as the straight-man foil to Gordo’s absurdist escalation.
• In TV Talk, Gordo deadpanned that not telling Stephen King to edit his JFK book was *”probably the biggest mistake Stephen King ever made”* [00:10:27–00:10:29]

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Recurring Bits, Characters, or Inside Jokes Referenced

• Marge Schwimdiddler appears to be a recurring Gordo character, introduced as a fixture in the bit’s universe with established lore (the swim team, the high dive incident, the paralyzing injury).
• Tim Kaleshaw / Pigskin Panel: Marge asks about Tim Kaleshaw [00:00:54], referencing the Ticket’s football season segment. The hosts note football season is over.
• Gordo’s JFK obsession: Referenced multiple times in TV Talk as a well-known running theme — George notes Gordo’s deep knowledge of the assassination and prior on-air discussions of it [00:10:05–00:10:18].
• The Gordon JFK Bus Tour: Gordo references a prior event where he acted as tour guide on a bus trip related to JFK/Dealey Plaza [00:11:45–00:11:51], suggesting this has happened before.
• Musers the Podcast: Promoted at the top — Episode 33, titled *”Brady Bunch Makeout Session”* [00:00:04–00:00:28].

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Debates or Strong Opinions Expressed

• Gordo expressed a clear opinion that Stephen King’s *11.22.63* novel needed significant editing — estimating 300 pages could have been cut — particularly the section where the protagonist is stuck in a small town [00:05:44–00:05:58]. George agreed the middle section dragged.
• Both Gordo and George noted that powerful authors often stop getting properly edited, to their work’s detriment [00:06:03–00:06:08].
• Marge (Gordo) declared the Winter Olympics “fraud” because they don’t include swimming [00:01:19–00:01:25], though this was in-character comedy rather than a genuine sports debate.

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Phone Callers

• P1 Jody [00:06:36–00:06:44]: Called or messaged in to clarify that *11.22.63* was originally a Hulu show and Netflix had just acquired the rights in January, explaining why it was suddenly being promoted on Netflix. George read the tip on air and it resolved the mystery the hosts had been puzzling over.

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Summary

This portion of the show opened with a full Gordo comedy bit featuring the recurring character Marge Schwimdiddler, a delusional, wheelchair-bound woman who claims to have been George Dunham’s high school swim coach — and secret lover — whose spine was severed when a young George allegedly pushed her off a high dive into a drained pool. George denied every element of the increasingly absurd backstory with mounting exasperation, while Gordo’s Marge escalated through claims of mange-infested coyote cuddling, Olympic gold dreams, and requests to sleep in George’s nonexistent go-kart hangar. The bit is a showcase of Gordo’s signature style: elaborate fictional lore, dark comedic escalation, and a long-suffering George as the straight man.

The second segment shifted to a lighthearted TV discussion anchored by George, who had just binge-watched the 2016 Hulu miniseries *11.22.63* — based on Stephen King’s novel about time travel and the JFK assassination — after it was re-promoted on Netflix. George was enthusiastic about the show, praising its period detail, love story, and the performance of Daniel Webber as Lee Harvey Oswald. Gordo, who had read the full 800-page novel years ago, offered a more qualified endorsement, calling the book bloated in its middle section and suggesting King’s celebrity status had insulated him from proper editing. A listener named Jody helpfully clarified mid-segment that the show had simply moved from Hulu to Netflix in January, solving the mystery of why a decade-old show was being heavily promoted.

Throughout TV Talk, Gordo’s well-documented obsession with the JFK assassination served as a recurring undercurrent — George noted that much of the show’s historical detail matched things Gordo had told them over the years, and Gordo lamented that he had once met Stephen King on a Boston street while King was writing the novel without knowing it, calling it “probably the biggest mistake Stephen King ever made” not to pick his brain. The segment closed with a callback to a prior on-air event: a Gordo-led JFK bus tour of Dealey Plaza, which he suggested repeating in 2026 as the anniversary approaches.

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⏰ Mid-Show Analysis

Segments That Appeared

• TV Talk — The hosts discuss the Stephen King miniseries *11.22.63* (2016), which recently appeared on Netflix after Hulu originally aired it. George had just binge-watched it and loved it; Gordo had previously read the book and watched the series. Topics included the show’s time-travel premise, the portrayal of Lee Harvey Oswald, historical accuracy, and comparisons to the source novel.

• Marge Schwimdiddler — A recurring comedy bit in which Gordo voices “Marge,” a character claiming to be George Dunham’s old high school swim coach. Marge visits the studio with a fabricated history of romance, athletic glory, and grievances involving George, ahead of the 2028 LA Summer Olympics.

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What Sports Topics Were Discussed

• The Winter Olympics were briefly mentioned as having just concluded, with the 2028 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles used as the framing device for the Marge Schwimdiddler bit.

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Notable Debates or Host Disagreements

• Gordo and George disagreed (playfully) about the quality and pacing of Stephen King’s *11.22.63* novel. Gordo felt the middle section dragged badly and that King needed an editor, estimating 300 pages could have been cut. George was more enthusiastic about the overall experience.
• George flatly and repeatedly denied every element of Marge’s fabricated backstory — that he swam in high school, knew Marge, had any relationship with her, or pushed her off a high dive.

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Phone Callers

• A P1 (listener) named Jody texted or called in to clarify that *11.22.63* was originally a Hulu production and Netflix only acquired the rights in January 2026, which explained why it was suddenly being heavily promoted on Netflix. [TV Talk segment, ~00:06:36]

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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, or Memorable One-Liners

• Marge Schwimdiddler was essentially one extended comedy set piece. Highlights included:
• Marge lamenting she “hasn’t cuddled with anything other than a diseased coyote in 17 years” and getting contact mange from it. [~00:02:02]
• Marge claiming George “experienced no shrinkage” in the pool and was “hung more than a Simi Valley jury.” [~00:04:38–00:04:42]
• The revelation that George (in Marge’s telling) severed her spine by pushing her off a high dive into a drained pool, then spit down on her and delivered the line *”Good riddance, shrimp diddler”* — with a “tight shot” zooming in on a Manson-esque swastika he’d carved in his own forehead. [~00:05:21–00:05:54]
• Marge requesting to live in George’s “go-kart airplane hangar” or “crypto-mining data center.” [~00:07:24–00:07:37]
• Marge’s closing confession: “I haven’t had a solid bowel movement in 20 years.” [~00:07:47]
• Gordo’s self-aggrandizing claim that his chance encounter with Stephen King in Boston — at the exact time King was writing *11.22.63* — and not discussing Oswald research with him was “probably the biggest mistake Stephen King ever made.” [~00:10:27]
• George admitting he could not finish *Lonesome Dove*, while Gordo said finishing it “would have killed me.” [~00:08:47–00:08:54]

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Pop Culture, Music, or Non-Sports Topics Discussed

• 11.22.63 (Hulu/Netflix miniseries, 2016) — extensive discussion of the show’s premise (time travel to prevent the JFK assassination), its historical accuracy regarding Oswald, the quality of actor Daniel Webber’s portrayal of Lee Harvey Oswald, and filming locations including Dealey Plaza.
• Stephen King as a novelist — Gordo’s critique that King lacks editorial oversight at this stage of his career, and his personal anecdote about meeting King on the street in Boston.
• Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry — briefly mentioned by George, who wished he could have met McMurtry, and by others who couldn’t finish it.
• The Musers podcast was promoted at the top of the Marge segment — the newest episode titled *”Brady Bunch Makeout Session”* was noted as the 33rd episode, available on Apple, Spotify, and other platforms. [~00:00:04–00:00:28]
• The show *Shrinking* (Apple TV+) was briefly mentioned by George as a show he was nearly caught up on and enjoying. [TV Talk, ~00:00:24]

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3-Paragraph Summary

This portion of the show opened with the TV Talk segment, driven largely by George’s enthusiasm for having just binge-watched the 2016 Hulu miniseries *11.22.63*, based on Stephen King’s novel about a time traveler attempting to prevent the Kennedy assassination. George expressed genuine admiration for the show’s period recreation, its love story, and Daniel Webber’s unsettling portrayal of Lee Harvey Oswald. Gordo, who had read the full novel and watched the series previously, offered a more critical take — praising King’s page-turning instincts but arguing the book desperately needed editing, particularly in its slower middle section. A listener texted in to solve the mystery of why the decade-old show was suddenly appearing on Netflix’s recommended list: the streaming service had acquired the rights from Hulu just weeks earlier. Gordo capped the segment with a characteristically self-mythologizing anecdote about once meeting Stephen King on a Boston street at the very moment King was writing *11.22.63*, lamenting that he missed his chance to serve as the author’s JFK assassination research expert.

The segment transitioned into the Marge Schwimdiddler bit, one of the show’s recurring comedy characters voiced by Gordo. Marge, presented as George’s old high school swim coach, arrived in the studio ostensibly to recruit George for a reunion Olympic swim team ahead of the 2028 Los Angeles Games — having declared the recently concluded Winter Olympics a “fraud” for lacking swimming. The bit escalated rapidly through increasingly absurd fabrications: Marge’s unrequited obsession with George, her claim that he left her swim team for a girl from a rival school after deploying dubious medical warnings, and an elaborately detailed account of how a young George pushed Marge off a high dive into a drained pool and then taunted her paralyzed body. George denied every element with increasing exasperation, while Gordo egged Marge on and occasionally expressed sympathy for her. The segment ended with Marge begging to live in George’s horse barn, go-kart hangar, or crypto-mining data center — all of which George also denied owning.

Throughout both segments, the tone was loose and comedic, with little hard sports content. The Winter Olympics wrap-up and the 2028 Summer Games served only as a springboard for Marge’s appearance rather than genuine athletic discussion. The conversation about *11.22.63* served as an informal meditation on JFK assassination lore — a recurring Musers theme — with Gordo in his element discussing Oswald’s movements and history. The segment also served as a reminder of Gordo’s wide-ranging interests and comedic persona, whether playing an unhinged elderly swim coach or positioning himself as a missed intellectual resource for one of America’s most famous novelists.

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🏁 Final Hour Analysis

Analysis of The Musers — 2026-02-26 (Final Portion)

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Segments That Appeared

• TV Talk (partial, ~00:11:24 in the pre-segment audio): The hosts wrapped up a discussion about the JFK assassination docudrama *11.22.63* (the Hulu/streaming series), noting it had been re-released on Netflix. Gordo referenced a past bit where he served as a tour guide on a bus trip through Oswald-related Dallas locations, including what he called “the road to glory” (or some disputed version of that name).

• Observation Deck with Gordo (~00:00:00–00:17:25): The signature Gordo personal-reflection segment, sponsored by Tylok, George Icare, and Generator Supercenter. Gordo discussed his go-kart being back from the shop, repairing his early-2000s Buick’s radiator hose himself, and then pivoted to a news story about a woman who disappeared 24 years ago and was recently found alive — having apparently chosen to abandon her family. This led into a wide-ranging discussion about disappearing, the movie *Cast Away*, and how long a spouse should wait before moving on.

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Funny Moments or Memorable Gordo Bits

• The fake air filter gag (~00:02:26): Gordo theorized that mechanics always show customers the same disgusting, obviously staged “dirty” air filter — describing it as looking like it had a sweet gum tree next to it, with little balls, leaves, a grocery bag, and a bird’s nest inside — and then he claimed he watched them take it and place it on a shelf to reuse on the next customer. He added, “There’s another band name for you,” referring to “bird’s nest air filter.”

• Gordo’s two driving modes (~00:04:12): Gordo described having “two modes” — Grandpa Car (the Buick, which floats, nosedives on turns, and makes you drive slow) versus the go-kart (sticks to the ground, you feel every bump). He proudly said he “chose the Buick” this morning because “it’s fun to ride like an old man.”

• Gordo claiming he’s helping the environment (~00:04:51): He said keeping his old cars rather than buying new ones was his contribution to environmentalism — immediately undercut by the admission that his old Briggs & Stratton lawnmowers “produce more emissions than a car does all year just mowing the lawn one time.”

• “It’s related to the privates in some way” (~00:11:02): When speculating on why the missing woman left her family, Gordo deadpanned that the reason was “romantically related… related to the privates in some way.”

• Gordo fabricating details about the husband (~00:12:30): After saying “they say he never moved on, he felt she would be found” and “he faithfully waited for her this whole time,” George immediately called him out — “You added that. You added that.”

• “Carrying out her final wishes. Deliciously.” (~00:14:07–00:14:09): Gordo’s justification for getting back on dating apps quickly after a spouse disappears, delivered with full comedic commitment.

• Tom Cruise in *Cast Away* (~00:16:06): Someone asked how long Tom Cruise lasted on the island in *Cast Away* — of course, it was Tom Hanks. Nobody corrected it immediately, letting the error hang in the air for comic effect.

• Mixing up *Cast Away* and *Forrest Gump* (~00:17:04–00:17:10): Gordo said the scene where Chuck asks if her kid is “normal or like me” was from *Cast Away*. George corrected him: “No, that’s *Forrest Gump*.”

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How the Show Wrapped Up

The Observation Deck closed with the *Cast Away*/*Forrest Gump* confusion and a parting joke from George: “Jenny should have waited after he was on that desert island. That’s it.” The segment ended with the usual light, digressive Gordo energy — no formal sports closing, no explicit preview of upcoming segments.

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Any Final Notable Quotes or Moments

• “You guys are way too horny.” — George, reacting to Gordo and Craig suggesting a one-year waiting period before getting back on dating apps after a spouse disappears (~00:14:04)
• “It’s not horny. It’s just carrying out her final wishes.” — Gordo’s immediate, straight-faced rebuttal (~00:14:07)
• “He never moved on. He faithfully waited for her this whole time.” — Gordo, entirely fabricating details about the missing woman’s husband, before being caught by George (~00:12:30–00:12:35)

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3-Paragraph Summary

The final portion of this Musers broadcast opens with the tail end of a TV Talk segment, where the hosts were wrapping up a discussion of *11.22.63*, the JFK assassination drama now available on Netflix. Gordo referenced a previous show stunt where he acted as a tour guide on a bus trip through Oswald-related Dallas sites, with some gentle debate about what he called his guided route — though exactly what he called it remains in dispute between him and his co-hosts.

The bulk of the excerpt is the Observation Deck, which began with Gordo’s characteristically shaggy personal dispatches: his go-kart is finally back from six weeks in the shop, he fixed his early-aughts Buick’s upper radiator hose himself (saving $150, though his co-hosts were skeptical he did it right), and he reflected on owning two very different vehicles — the floaty, grandpa-glide Buick versus the road-feeling go-kart. He also riffed on mechanics who show customers fake dirty air filters and on his old lawnmowers being environmental disasters despite his self-image as someone who helps the planet by not constantly buying new cars. The segment then pivoted to a news story about Michelle Hundley Smith, a North Carolina woman who vanished 24 years ago while supposedly going on a Kmart Christmas shopping run and was recently found alive — apparently having deliberately abandoned her family and requesting that authorities not allow her family to contact her. The hosts discussed how she could have pulled this off pre-smartphone, whether there should be laws against it, and why she left — with Gordo floating that it was “related to the privates in some way.”

The discussion spiraled warmly into speculation about how long a spouse should wait before moving on if their partner mysteriously disappears — George said seven years, Gordo and Craig said one year, prompting George’s memorable accusation that they were “way too horny,” which Gordo rebutted by saying he’d just be “carrying out her final wishes.” This led into a comparison to *Cast Away* — with someone accidentally calling Tom Hanks “Tom Cruise” — and ended with Gordo confusing the “is your kid normal?” scene from *Forrest Gump* with *Cast Away*, capping the show with a characteristically digressive, funny, and meandering Observation Deck that had nothing to do with sports and everything to do with what makes The Musers worth listening to.

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Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.