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The Musers — 2026-03-31

ByChris

Fake Jerry Jones

Observation Deck

Observation Deck

Fake Jerry Jones

Observation Deck

The Musers — 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Tuesday, March 31, 2026

📋 Segments This Day

  • Fake Jerry Jones
  • Observation Deck
  • Observation Deck
  • Fake Jerry Jones
  • Observation Deck

🎙️ Early Show Analysis

Analysis: The Musers — 2026-03-31 (Fake Jerry Jones + Observation Deck)

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Segments in This Portion

  • Fake Jerry Jones [00:00:00]: A recurring comedic bit in which Gordo performs an impression of Cowboys owner/GM Jerry Jones calling in on the Ticket Hotline. In this installment, “Jerry” complains about the extensive and expensive renovations required at AT&T Stadium to host World Cup soccer games, while also riffing on his family, finances, and various absurd personal details.
  • Observation Deck [00:00:00 of second segment]: A regular Gordo-hosted segment (sponsored by Tidelock, Nasser Vision, and Generator Supercenter). On this April Fool’s Day edition, Gordo leads a discussion on the history and origins of April Fool’s Day, which devolves into tangents about pranks, sardines, pudding cups, and the Musers’ early days on air.

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Sports Topics Discussed

  • Cowboys / AT&T Stadium: The Fake Jerry Jones segment is built entirely around the real-world topic of AT&T Stadium undergoing significant renovations for the FIFA World Cup, including raising the field level by three feet, installing real grass, covering the famous ground-level suites, and removing artwork. The $350 million renovation cost is specifically mentioned [~00:04:05].

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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable Quotes

  • Fake Jerry Jones is itself a long-running Gordo character bit. Highlights from this installment include:
  • “Jerry” asking the hosts to “gently kill me” by shooting him with a poison bullet [00:00:22–00:00:43]
  • Complaining that FIFA is “like dealing with the mafia” [00:01:03–00:01:07]
  • Blaming “Steven and all his friends” for being lazy and distracted by “the Insta-Facebook” [00:01:46–00:01:58]
  • Jerry Jr. (his son) apparently still wearing his fursuit from a “furry convention” and using the stadium’s construction sand as a litter box [00:02:34–00:02:43]
  • “How did that child come from my loins? I must have gotten a pretty strong x-ray to the nads right before we conceived him.” [00:02:46–00:02:55]
  • FIFA demanding “organic artisanal gravel that was locally sourced and imported from Italy and made in the USA” [00:03:05–00:03:13]
  • Joking that the $350 million renovation cost equals “an entire Bravo Eugenia” (his yacht) [00:04:28–00:04:30] — referencing a recurring Ticket in-joke about Jerry’s luxury yacht
  • Saying he saved money on grow lights because former Cowboys Nate Newton and Mark Stepnowski loaned him theirs — a joke implying the players had grow lights for other purposes [00:04:44–00:04:56]
  • Mentioning new child support payments for “Veruca,” a recurring gag about Jerry’s alleged secret child [00:05:08–00:05:18]
  • Steven and Jerry Jr. taking the Bravo Eugenia yacht to Lake Ray Hubbard to go tubing and hitting a stump [00:05:25–00:05:43]
  • Jerry ending the call because he has to take Jerry Jr. to the emergency room — “He got a kicking tee stuck up his butt” [00:06:06–00:06:13], with George deadpanning “Again.” [00:06:13]
  • Observation Deck — April Fool’s Day:
  • Gordo jokes he used to prank his grandmother by hitting her over the back of the head with a bat on April Fool’s Day [00:01:10–00:01:38]
  • Gordo speculates that Geoffrey Chaucer is “a historian plant” with a “very fake” name [00:06:04–00:06:11]
  • Gordo’s absurdist tangent about licking the metal tops of pudding cups as a child and cutting his tongue — calling it a “tongue guillotine” [00:04:04–00:04:28]
  • Gordo musing on Vienna sausages: “What tree do those grow on?” [00:04:50–00:04:54]
  • Discussion of a classic Musers April Fool’s prank: they vaguely referenced something happening early in the show, let rumors build all day, then “played the tape” at the end — which was just audio of them planning the prank. George credits “the laddie” for the idea [00:07:55–00:09:13]

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Recurring Bits, Characters, or Inside Jokes Referenced

  • Fake Jerry Jones: Long-running Gordo impression/character of Cowboys owner Jerry Jones. Includes recurring sub-references:
  • Bravo Eugenia: Jerry’s yacht, a recurring Ticket joke [00:04:28, 00:05:27]
  • Veruca: Jerry’s alleged secret child, a recurring gag [00:05:08]
  • Jerry Jr. (the furry): A recurring gag depicting Jerry’s son as eccentric/deviant [00:02:34]
  • Steven Jones being lazy: A recurring characterization [00:01:46]
  • Nate Newton/Mark Stepnowski grow lights: A callback joke referencing both players’ real-life drug-related legal troubles
  • The Observation Deck: A regular Gordo segment [00:00:00 of second segment]
  • Gil Brandt “boy, they’ll put anybody in morning drive”: George recalls Brandt saying this to him on their first day, a piece of Musers lore [~00:10:28–00:10:31]
  • Skip Bayless leaving The Ticket: Referenced in the context of finding old tapes/news articles from the Musers’ first broadcast [00:09:33–00:09:41]
  • Big Billy Barrett: Referenced as the remote location of the Musers’ very first show [00:10:02–00:10:06]

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Summary

This portion of the March 31, 2026 Musers opens with the Fake Jerry Jones bit, one of the show’s most beloved recurring Gordo characters. “Jerry” calls in ostensibly to follow up on a prior segment about AT&T Stadium’s World Cup renovations, but the segment quickly becomes a vehicle for absurdist humor: Jerry complains about FIFA’s demanding requirements (real grass, a three-foot field raise, Italian-sourced gravel), his son Jerry Jr. treating the construction sand as a litter box while still in his fursuit from a furry convention, and the general chaos of running the project himself from a Kubota skid steer. The bit is dense with recurring Ticket in-jokes including the Bravo Eugenia yacht, secret daughter Veruca, and lazy son Steven.

The segment transitions into the Observation Deck, timed appropriately to April Fool’s Day. Gordo leads a loosely structured discussion of the holiday’s murky origins — possibly rooted in medieval France (“Poisson Avril”) or England around the time of Chaucer, though experts apparently have no definitive answer. The hosts joke about pranks they’ve pulled (Gordo’s absurdist claim of batting his grandmother on April Fool’s, college pranks involving sardines in air vents) and debate whether radio stations still do fake trade/signing announcements on the holiday.

The segment winds down with a nostalgic look back at the Musers’ own history. Gordo mentions finding an old news article and tape from what appears to be the very first Musers morning show broadcast — a remote from “Big Billy Barrett” on a Friday — along with details about Skip Bayless’s acrimonious departure from The Ticket and program director Mike Thompson. George recalls Gil Brandt offering a backhanded greeting on that first day: *”Boy, they’ll put anybody in morning drive, I guess.”* It’s a warm, rambling, characteristically self-referential Musers moment that balances absurdist comedy with genuine station history.

⏰ Mid-Show Analysis

Analysis: The Musers — 2026-03-31 (Middle Portion)

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Segments in This Portion

  • Pre-segment banter / April Fools’ discussion [~00:10:43 in the pre-segment block]: Gordo and George discuss whether to pull an April Fools’ prank on the P1s (listeners), ultimately deciding against it. They reminisce about past pranks at The Ticket and discuss classic/TikTok-era pranks.
  • Observation Deck [00:00:00 of O-Deck block]: Gordo’s recurring segment, sponsored by Tlaloc Nasser Vision and Generator Supercenter. Focused on the theme of “Returns.” Topics included the Artemis moon mission, Savannah Guthrie returning to the Today show, AI reliability, and the story of Michelle Hundley Smith reuniting with her daughter after 24 years.
  • Fake Jerry Jones [00:00:00 of that block]: A comedic bit in which a Gordo-voiced “Jerry Jones” calls in to discuss the AT&T Stadium renovations required for the FIFA World Cup.

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Observation Deck

  • Theme: “Returns” — mighty returns
  • Artemis/Moon mission [~00:00:18]: Discussion of NASA’s Artemis program returning to the moon. The hosts quizzed each other on how many astronauts have been to the moon (answer: 24 total; 12 walked on the surface — George’s guess of 12 was confirmed correct for walkers).
  • Savannah Guthrie returning to the Today show [~00:02:30]: Announced return date of April 6th, despite her mother still being missing. Gordo and George expressed discomfort about how she’ll manage the light, cheerful tone of morning TV under such circumstances. Gordo riffed on omelets being inherently funny, which led to a tangent on the etymology of the word “omelet.”
  • AI reliability debate [~00:05:00]: Triggered by looking up omelet etymology via Google AI/Gemini. Gordo expressed skepticism about AI accuracy, citing personal experiences of it being confidently wrong. George pushed back, arguing AI has improved dramatically over the past year. They tested it with Ticket history (AI correctly identified January 24, 1994 as The Ticket’s start date) and the show’s Marconi Award history (seven nominations, one win — confirmed correct).
  • Michelle Hundley Smith reunion [~00:08:44]: A woman who disappeared 24 years ago (around Christmastime, leaving a 14-year-old daughter) was found alive in another state and initially didn’t want contact. She had a pending DUI charge that brought her to court, where her daughter was able to confront and hug her. The mother claimed she fled due to domestic issues, but law enforcement found no documentation of that. Gordo and George discussed the emotional complexity for the daughter and questioned why the mother couldn’t be charged with abandonment — George speculated it may be because the father remained present. Gordo noted the legal gap: a non-paying divorced parent faces charges, but a parent who simply vanishes may not.

—

Sports Topics Discussed

  • AT&T Stadium / FIFA World Cup renovations [Fake Jerry Jones segment, ~00:00:00]: Though presented comically, the underlying topic was real — AT&T Stadium undergoing significant changes to host World Cup matches, including:
  • Raising the field level by three feet
  • Installing real grass (FIFA does not allow artificial turf)
  • Covering over the stadium’s famous ground-level suites

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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, or Memorable One-Liners

  • Fake Jerry Jones bit [full segment]: Extended comedic call featuring Gordo as Jerry Jones, complaining about World Cup renovations. Notable jokes included:
  • Jerry asking the hosts to “gently shoot me with a poison bullet” next time they see him
  • “Jerry Jr.” (a recurring joke character) attending a furry convention and then using the 200,000 pounds of construction sand at AT&T Stadium as a litter box while still in his fursuit
  • FIFA demanding “organic artisanal gravel that was locally sourced and imported from Italy and made in the USA” — a deliberate absurdist contradiction
  • Jerry having a 3D-printed styrofoam plug made for wife Gene’s mouth: *”She complained. Oh my good lord, that woman complains.”*
  • Jerry claiming to be personally operating a Kubota skid steer and complaining that Stephen Jones and his friends were on their phones looking at “the Insta-Facebook”
  • Omelet etymology tangent [~00:04:00 in O-Deck]: Gordo’s genuine puzzlement over why it’s called an “omelet” led to a silly digression — *”Omelets are funny… omelet is kind of a funny word, isn’t it?”*
  • April Fools’ prank reminiscing [pre-segment]: Story of Grego being pranked with a fake Chicago radio show call despite declaring he was unprankanable — *”That thing so hard to get that thing out with pliers.”* Also: Corby’s hair being yanked out in fistfuls by Mark Followell as collateral damage from a Gordo prank.
  • Gordo on AI: *”Just don’t ask it — well, I won’t tell you what it was lying to me about.”*

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Notable Debates or Host Disagreements

  • AI accuracy [~00:05:00 in O-Deck]: Mild but genuine disagreement — Gordo was skeptical and cited recent experiences of AI being confidently wrong; George defended it, saying it has improved substantially in the past year and predicted it will be “near perfect” within another year.

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Any Pop Culture, Music, or Non-Sports Topics Discussed

  • April Fools’ Day pranks — TikTok prank culture, rubber band on the sink sprayer, Saran wrap on the toilet, ping pong balls in a car, post-it note cubicle pranks
  • Savannah Guthrie / Today show — her return amid her mother’s disappearance
  • Michelle Hundley Smith — missing persons case / mother-daughter reunion after 24 years
  • Etymology of “omelet” — traced to 16th-century French, from a word meaning “thin blade/plate”
  • AI / Google Gemini reliability — discussed at some length with live testing
  • NASA Artemis program — returning humans to the moon

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Summary

This portion of the show opened with a relaxed, pre-segment conversation between Gordo and George about April Fools’ Day pranks. Both hosts expressed a somewhat surprising reluctance to prank their P1 listeners, citing 32 years of built-up trust — though they happily swapped memories of pranking each other and colleagues in the station’s wilder early days. Gordo rattled off a list of classic and TikTok-era pranks (sink sprayer rubber band, Saran wrap on the toilet, post-it cubicle coverage) and invited listeners to email in their own prank stories.

The Observation Deck, themed around “Returns,” covered a wide range of topics with Gordo’s characteristic mix of genuine curiosity and comic tangents. The moon mission discussion gave way to Savannah Guthrie’s impending return to the Today show — a situation both hosts found genuinely uncomfortable, given that her mother remains missing — which then somehow detoured into the etymology of “omelet” and a lively debate about whether AI can be trusted. George argued it has become impressively accurate over the past year; Gordo remained a skeptic, recounting experiences of AI confidently giving him wrong answers and then apologizing when corrected. The segment closed on a more serious note with the story of Michelle Hundley Smith — a woman who vanished 24 years ago and was recently found alive — and her daughter’s complicated, emotional reunion with her outside a courtroom. Gordo and George were particularly struck by the apparent legal gap that allows a parent to simply abandon a family without facing abandonment charges if the other parent is still present.

The Fake Jerry Jones segment was a highlight of the portion — a full comedic call in which Gordo’s Jerry Jones character vented about the chaos of renovating AT&T Stadium for the FIFA World Cup. The bit hit on real news (the field being raised three feet, real grass requirements, ground suites being covered) but filtered it through the show’s long-running Jerry Jones caricature, complete with the recurring “Jerry Jr.” joke about Jones’s grandson attending a furry convention and using the construction sand as a litter box, and a jab at Gene Jones via a 3D-printed styrofoam mouth plug. It was vintage Gordo absurdism wrapped around a genuine local sports infrastructure story.

🏁 Final Hour Analysis

Here is the analysis of this final portion of The Musers from 2026-03-31:

Segments in This Portion

  • Fake Jerry Jones (ends ~[00:06:33]): The tail end of a recurring comedy bit where Gordo performs as a fictional Jerry Jones. In this closing stretch, “Jerry” discusses the $350 million cost of hosting the World Cup at AT&T Stadium, jokes about borrowing grow lights from Nate Newton and Mark Stepnowski to grow the grass, complains about child support payments for “Veruca,” boat repairs after Stephen and Junior took the yacht “Bravo Eugenia” tubing on Lake Ray Hubbard and sheared the prop, and signs off saying he has to take “Jerry Junior” to the ER because a kicking tee got stuck up his rear.
  • Observation Deck with Gordo ([00:00:00]–[00:14:04]): Gordo’s regular Wednesday feature, sponsored by Tidelock, Nasser Vision, and Generator Superson. This edition focused on April Fool’s Day — its murky origins, prank culture past and present, and show history.

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Funny Moments or Memorable Gordo Bits

  • The Fake Jerry Jones segment contained several layered absurdist jokes: borrowing grow lights from Nate Newton and Mark Stepnowski (a reference to their real-life marijuana trafficking arrests), tubing behind a yacht on Lake Ray Hubbard with an entire graduating class in tow, child support payments for a child named “Veruca,” and the kicking tee ER visit being framed as a recurring occurrence (“Again?” [~00:06:13]).
  • Gordo claimed his childhood April Fool’s prank was hitting his grandmother over the back of the head with a baseball bat and yelling “April Fool’s,” adding that she “appreciated it” after she regained consciousness ([~00:01:20–00:01:41]).
  • Gordo declared that Geoffrey Chaucer is a fictional person planted in history books: *”Jeffrey Chaucer sounds like a fake name, very fake.”* ([~00:06:07–00:06:09])
  • Gordo mused that sardine packaging knowledge came primarily from cartoons, where mice use the tin as a bed and roll the lid back over themselves as covers ([~00:03:26–00:03:31]).
  • Gordo recalled cutting his tongue on the metal pull-top of childhood pudding cups, calling them “tongue guillotines” ([~00:04:17–00:04:28]).

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Sports Topics Discussed

  • The World Cup hosting costs at AT&T Stadium were briefly referenced in the Fake Jerry Jones bit — “Jerry” claims he is “$350 million” deep in World Cup preparations ([~00:04:05–00:05:01]).

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Were There Any Strong Predictions or Bold Takes

  • George noted that despite being aware of pranks, he and his college crew still got fooled regularly, and Gordo agreed that pranks work because they exploit trust — both expressing a mild philosophical position that mean-spirited pranks have aged poorly for them ([~00:11:00–00:12:09]).
  • Gordo stated with confidence that TV morning shows are absolutely still doing fake sports trade/news pranks on April Fool’s Day ([~00:07:43–00:07:55]).

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Were There Any Phone Callers

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How Did the Show Wrap Up

  • Gordo closed the Observation Deck by listing classic April Fool’s pranks (rubber band on the sink sprayer, Saran wrap over the toilet, post-it notes covering a cubicle, unplugging a coworker’s computer), encouraged listeners to pull pranks and email the show about them, and signed off with the show’s email address: [email protected] ([~00:13:59–00:14:04]).
  • Gordo also teased that Steve (likely Sturm) might call in at 8:40 to discuss pranks ([~00:21–00:26]).

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Any Final Notable Quotes or Moments

  • *”I’m balls deep in World Cup, boys.”* — Fake Jerry Jones ([~00:05:00])
  • *”He’s always putting stuff in there and we got to root it out.”* — Fake Jerry Jones, on Jerry Junior and the kicking tee ([~00:06:16–00:06:19])
  • *”We’ve built up 32 years of trust with them. I’m not going to—”* — George, declining to prank P1 listeners ([~00:10:58–00:11:01])
  • Gil Brandt allegedly told George on his first day in morning drive: *”Boy, they’ll put anybody in morning drive, I guess.”* ([~00:10:28–00:10:30])

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Three-Paragraph Summary

This final portion opens at the tail end of the Fake Jerry Jones segment, with Gordo’s fictional Jerry winding down a rambling, chaotic check-in. “Jerry” is consumed by the financial and logistical burden of hosting the World Cup at AT&T Stadium — $350 million deep, borrowing grow lights from Nate Newton and Mark Stepnowski, dealing with boat repairs after the Bravo Eugenia was wrecked on Lake Ray Hubbard during an ill-conceived tubing outing, and managing new child support payments for his daughter Veruca. The call ends abruptly when “Jerry” announces he must rush Jerry Junior to the emergency room after a kicking tee incident, in what the hosts treat as a familiar recurring problem.

The Observation Deck then takes over, with Gordo leading a loosely structured April Fool’s Day discussion. He explores the genuinely murky origins of the holiday — possibly French, possibly English, possibly referencing Chaucer (whom Gordo suspects is a historical fabrication) — and the French tradition of “Poisson d’Avril,” where kids pin paper fish on each other’s backs. The conversation wanders entertainingly through sardine packaging, pudding cup lid injuries, and college prank culture, including a memory of sardines placed in an air conditioning vent and a fake Chicago radio show call that fooled a hypervigilant Grego.

The hosts also revisit a beloved piece of Musers lore: a past April Fool’s meta-prank where they acted all show as if they had said something scandalous at 5:35 AM, teased the audio all day, and then revealed at the end that the “audio” was simply them announcing the prank itself — an Inception-style gag credited to “the laddie.” George also shared that Gil Brandt greeted news of the Musers’ morning show launch by saying “they’ll put anybody in morning drive, I guess.” Gordo wrapped up by listing harmless prank ideas for listeners and inviting emails, closing out the Observation Deck on a cheerful, low-stakes April Fool’s note.

Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.

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