The Musers β 2025-01-09
The Musers β 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Thursday, January 9, 2025
π Segments This Day
- More Junior Xmas Stories
- Michael Irvin School Closings
ποΈ Early Show Analysis
What segments appeared in this portion?
- More Junior Xmas Stories [00:00:00] – Craig Miller shares stories from his Christmas road trip to northern New Mexico, discussing the 10-hour drive, small Texas towns, and observations about podcasting
What sports topics were discussed?
- High school football [00:01:40] – Discussion of small Texas towns known for high school football including Quanah, Childress, Clarendon, Claude, and Memphis
- Memphis Cyclones football stadium [00:01:55] – Detailed description of how close the stadium’s end zone is to Highway 287, with jokes about overthrown passes landing on the highway
Were there any funny moments, Gordo bits, or memorable quotes?
- Equipment truck comparison [00:00:34] – Host compares Junior to being like “the equipment truck for football team” while his family flies, with another adding he’s “the rhythm section” while they’re “the lead singer”
- Historical perspective joke [00:03:31] – When Junior discusses wagon trains, co-host quips “why don’t they just buy a car?”
- Hugh Grant crush reference [00:04:37] – Co-host mentions Junior’s “little crush on Hugh Grant”
- Sarcastic success comment [00:05:04] – Co-host sarcastically notes the SmartLess podcast “really needs” Junior’s critique because “they’re not being successful right now”
Were there any recurring bits, characters, or inside jokes referenced?
- P1 references [00:01:19, 00:04:34] – Multiple mentions of “P1s” (Ticket listeners), including one recommending a podcast episode
- Amarillo welcome [00:02:53] – Junior jokes about “they always want to do a big thing when i roll into town” in his birthplace
Summary
This segment features Craig Miller sharing stories from his Christmas vacation road trip to northern New Mexico. He describes his family’s travel arrangement where his wife and daughter fly while he drives the 10-hour route as the “equipment truck,” carrying all their belongings. Junior provides detailed commentary about the drive through various small Texas towns known for high school football, with particular fascination about Memphis’s football stadium being so close to Highway 287 that overthrown passes could land on the highway.
The conversation takes a turn when Junior discusses how he uses the long drive to catch up with friends and listen to podcasts. He mentions listening to an episode of SmartLess featuring Hugh Grant, which was recommended by a P1 listener. This leads to Junior’s main critique about what he sees as an epidemic of overusing the phrase “sort of” in modern podcasting, which he traces back to NPR’s influence.
Throughout the segment, the other hosts provide comedic commentary and gentle ribbing, particularly about Junior’s “crush” on Hugh Grant and his unsolicited critique of a highly successful podcast. The segment showcases the typical Musers dynamic of taking a simple vacation story and weaving it into broader observations about culture, with plenty of humor and inside references for regular listeners.
β° Mid-Show Analysis
What segments appeared in this portion?
- Michael Irvin School Closings segment (0:00-0:53) – A comedy bit featuring someone impersonating Michael Irvin at a fictional school closing center during winter weather
What sports topics were discussed?
- Brief mention of Michael Irvin as “the playmaker” in the comedy segment intro
Were there any funny moments, Gordo bits, or memorable one-liners?
- The Michael Irvin school closings segment, presented as coming from the “Everett McIver Memorial School Closing Center”
- A joke about the center being named that way due to “settlements for lawsuits”
- The line describing Ella Fitzgerald’s voice as “a cross between Fergie and Jesus” (7:34)
- Discussion about small-town restaurants where “the solution to everything is to deep fry it” (9:09)
Any pop culture, music, or non-sports topics discussed?
- Extended discussion about discovering Ella Fitzgerald’s voice through Christmas music (6:21-8:37)
- Travel discussion about a road trip and stopping at small-town restaurants (8:38-9:20)
- Detailed talk about visiting Los Alamos, New Mexico and the Oppenheimer movie connection (9:17-11:20)
- Critical discussion of the Oppenheimer movie being overrated and too long (10:43-11:20)
This portion of The Musers featured a mix of comedy and personal anecdotes. The show opened with their signature Michael Irvin school closings bit, a recurring comedy segment that plays during winter weather where someone impersonates the former Cowboys receiver announcing school closures from a fictional center.
The bulk of the discussion centered around one host’s Christmas vacation road trip, particularly his discovery of Ella Fitzgerald’s voice through Christmas radio stations. This led to an appreciation of her pure vocal talent beyond her known jazz and scat singing reputation. The conversation showcased the hosts’ musical knowledge and their annual tradition of discovering new artists during the holidays.
The segment concluded with travel talk about visiting Los Alamos, New Mexico, and how the town has embraced its connection to the Oppenheimer movie. The hosts shared a mixed but generally critical view of the Christopher Nolan film, agreeing it was overrated despite good performances, with particular criticism about its length and editing. This blend of personal travel stories, cultural observations, and entertainment criticism exemplified The Musers’ conversational style that moves seamlessly between topics.
π Final Hour Analysis
Segments in this portion:
- Michael Irvin School Closings [00:00:55-00:07:25] β Michael Irvin delivers school closings for Dallas area winter weather in an elaborate musical performance set to Semisonic’s “Closing Time,” complete with backing vocals from “the ticket band and the ticket shingers”
Funny moments or memorable Gordo bits:
- [00:01:17] Michael announces he has assembled “the ticket band and the ticket shingers” with Gordo apologizing for being “up all night” working on it
- [00:01:47] Michael surprisingly reveals he’s “a fan of classic rock” and wants to “rock when I get down”
- [00:02:49-00:06:42] Extended musical performance where Michael energetically sings school closings to “Closing Time,” including dramatic shouts of “Closed!” after each district listing
- [00:05:09] Inclusion of fake closings like “Chocolate Mint Foundation” and “Lamb of God Preschool”
- [00:06:54] Michael declares “I got nothing left, man” after the exhausting performance
How did the show wrap up?
- [00:06:54] Michael is completely spent after the school closings performance, saying he’s got “nothing left” but “nothing but love”
- [00:07:07] The segment ends with thanks to sponsors “Padini Paninis and the Renaissance of Phoenix” with a reference to Michael having “some trouble” at that hotel
- Multiple voices saying goodbye to Michael as the segment concludes
Final notable quotes:
- [00:06:54] Michael Irvin: “I got nothing left, man… I got nothing but love”
- [00:06:58] Host: “Oh, he’s on life support almost”
Summary:
This final portion of The Musers was entirely devoted to an elaborate Michael Irvin school closings segment. What started as a standard weather-related school closure announcement transformed into a full musical production, with Michael backed by “the ticket band and the ticket shingers” performing to Semisonic’s “Closing Time.”
The performance was vintage Ticket absurdism at its finest. Michael, claiming to be a classic rock fan who wants to “rock when I get down,” delivered an increasingly energetic rendition that included both real school districts (Aledo, Allen, Plano ISD) and obvious fake entries like “Chocolate Mint Foundation.” His dramatic shouts of “Closed!” after each listing built the energy throughout the nearly six-minute segment.
By the end, Michael was completely exhausted from the performance, telling the hosts he had “nothing left” but expressing that he had “nothing but love.” The segment perfectly captured The Ticket’s ability to turn mundane public service announcements into entertainment gold, with Michael Irvin’s enthusiasm and the show’s creative backing making winter weather closings into must-hear radio.
Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.
