The Musers — 2025-02-20
The Musers — 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Thursday, February 20, 2025
📋 Segments This Day
- Fake Nolan Ryan
🎙️ Early Show Analysis
What segments appeared in this portion?
- Fake Nolan Ryan — The hosts call what they claim is Nolan Ryan’s ranch to follow up on a famous 2007 Ticket Stock appearance where Ryan told a story about snow monkeys. The “Nolan Ryan” character provides absurd updates about his ongoing battle with snow monkeys who have now kidnapped his wife Ruth.
What sports topics were discussed?
- Brief mention of Nico Harrison (Mavericks GM) with fake Nolan saying he’s “doing a lot better than Nico Harrison”
- Reference to the original 2007 Ticket Stock event where Nolan Ryan was the headliner
Were there any funny moments, Gordo bits, or memorable quotes?
- The entire fake Nolan Ryan call is comedic, featuring absurd ranch stories including cows producing “soft serve ice cream” due to cold weather
- “I got a lot of shrinkage under my loin cloth” — fake Nolan discussing the cold weather
- Fake Nolan’s story about his hogs getting “popcorn lung” from vaping and driving “tricked up cars”
- The escalating snow monkey saga where they’ve kidnapped Ruth and are demanding “one million Hershey Kiss ransom”
Were there any recurring bits, characters, or inside jokes referenced?
- This is clearly a callback to a legendary 2007 Ticket Stock moment involving the real Nolan Ryan and a snow monkey story
- The ongoing fake feud between Nolan Ryan and snow monkeys appears to be a recurring Ticket bit
Summary:
The Musers opened this segment by referencing their annual Ticket Stock discussion and a legendary 2007 appearance by Nolan Ryan where he told a story about snow monkeys. They decided to “call” Nolan Ryan at his ranch in Alvin to follow up on that classic moment, though this was clearly a fake call featuring an impersonator.
The fake Nolan Ryan launched into increasingly absurd stories about ranch life, including complaints about the cold weather affecting his cattle operation and his hogs developing vaping addictions. The character’s delivery mixed folksy ranch talk with completely ridiculous scenarios, creating the kind of surreal comedy The Ticket is known for.
The segment climaxed with fake Nolan providing an update on his ongoing battle with the snow monkeys, revealing they had escalated their conflict by kidnapping his wife Ruth. The snow monkeys were demanding a ransom of one million Hershey Kisses and had given him 12 tasks to complete by noon. This callback to what was apparently a beloved Ticket moment from 2007 demonstrates how the show builds on its own mythology and inside jokes with its longtime listeners.
⏰ Mid-Show Analysis
Looking at this transcript portion, there are no clear segment breaks or identifiable segments from The Musers format. This appears to be a comedic bit featuring what sounds like Gordo engaged in an elaborate fictional scenario.
Funny moments, Gordo bits, or memorable one-liners
- [00:04:03-00:06:20] Extended comedic bit about someone’s wife being kidnapped by “Snow Monkeys” and developing Stockholm Syndrome, including her starting to “dress like a Snow Monkey”
- Absurd ransom demands including: delivering pizza to Bob Lilley before 10 AM, finding a medallion in a pig pen outside Tyler, locating Steve Garvey’s “used condom collection,” getting a Bruce Bochy cameo promoting cryptocurrency, and apologizing to John Daniels
- Reference to “Hoctua” cryptocurrency with confusion about what it means
- Mention of wanting to meet “Dirk Nowinski” (likely intentionally mispronouncing Nowitzki) at a ticket stock event
Sports topics discussed
- Brief mention of Dirk Nowitzki and appreciation for how he played for the Mavericks organization
Pop culture, music, or non-sports topics discussed
- Discussion of cryptocurrency and meme coins, specifically mentioning “Hoctua”
- References to cameo videos and Bruce Bochy
- Mention of a ticket stock event happening tomorrow
Summary
This portion of The Musers appears to feature an extended comedic bit, likely involving Gordo, about a fictional kidnapping scenario involving “Snow Monkeys.” The absurdist humor is typical of the show’s style, with increasingly ridiculous ransom demands that reference pop culture, sports figures, and current events like cryptocurrency. The bit includes references to Stockholm Syndrome, elaborate treasure hunt-style tasks, and celebrity cameos.
The comedy escalates through various impossible demands that must be completed before noon, culminating in the character drawing the line at having to apologize to John Daniels. The bit maintains the show’s signature blend of sports references (Bob Lilley, Steve Garvey, Bruce Bochy) with contemporary culture (cryptocurrency, cameo videos) wrapped in surreal storytelling.
The portion concludes with a transition to discussing an upcoming ticket stock event where Dirk Nowitzki will apparently be present, showing the show’s connection to Dallas sports culture while maintaining the playful atmosphere that characterizes The Musers’ approach to sports talk radio.
🏁 Final Hour Analysis
Based on the provided transcript, this appears to be a very brief and incomplete portion of The Musers show. The transcript is extremely limited and seems to capture only the very end of what appears to be a phone call or interview segment.
Segments that appeared in this portion:
- End of what appears to be a phone call/interview with someone named Nolan [00:06:46-00:07:14]
Phone callers:
- Nolan – appears to be wrapping up a call, mentions getting WhatsApp messages from “the Snow Monkey King” about him and someone named Ruth [00:06:46-00:07:14]
Funny moments or memorable bits:
- Reference to “Snow Monkey King” sending WhatsApp messages [00:06:46]
- Mention of photos involving “him and Ruth making out” which elicited reactions from the hosts [00:06:47-00:07:11]
How the show wrapped up:
- The call with Nolan ended with hosts saying goodbye [00:07:12-00:07:14]
Summary:
This transcript captures only a very brief moment at what appears to be the end of The Musers show, specifically the conclusion of a phone call with someone named Nolan. The conversation referenced some ongoing bit or storyline involving a character called “the Snow Monkey King” who was apparently sending WhatsApp messages.
The hosts wrapped up the call with Nolan, who mentioned receiving messages about photos of “him and Ruth making out,” which seemed to be part of some larger comedic bit or running gag on the show. The brief nature of this transcript suggests it may be missing significant content from earlier in the show.
The portion ends with the hosts saying goodbye to Nolan and appears to transition to the end of the show or segment. Without more context or a longer transcript, it’s difficult to assess the full scope of the content that preceded this brief exchange.
Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.
