The Musers — 2025-08-14
The Musers — 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Thursday, August 14, 2025
📋 Segments This Day
- Mushmouth Thomas
- Craigs Book Club
🎙️ Early Show Analysis
Segments in this portion:
- Mushmouth Thomas [00:00:00-00:06:01]: The hosts interview their recurring character Mushmouth Thomas, ostensibly to discuss coyotes in relation to a book about coyotes, but the conversation quickly devolves into Mushmouth’s typical absurdist stories.
Sports topics discussed:
- Texas Rangers [00:03:42]: Mushmouth asks about the Rangers’ inability to score runs this season and questions whether a player named “Portia” is still effective.
Funny moments, Gordo bits, or memorable quotes:
- Mushmouth’s divorce story involving his coyote wife who made him “garbage sandwiches” with shoes and diapers between bread [00:01:30-00:01:54]
- His description of finding his wife with another mushmouth, leading to a bizarre fight involving back wings, stingers, joeys in pouches, gills, and antlers [00:02:08-00:02:42]
- Mushmouth’s “relatable” story about drinking rainwater from a tuna can behind Walmart [00:05:05-00:05:18]
- His claim to be turning 1600 years old and invitation to his “sweet 1600” birthday party at a roller rink [00:03:56-00:04:14]
- Gift of “bones of Fausto Carpi, famous Italian cyclist” that he found in a conveniently labeled cemetery [00:05:21-00:06:01]
Recurring bits, characters, or inside jokes referenced:
- Mushmouth Thomas: Long-running character known for his distinctive speech pattern and absurdist stories
- References to other Ticket shows including The Hardline and their podcast content
- Mushmouth’s typical pattern of offering “relatable” stories to the audience
- Character mentions getting an IT job in Montana, continuing the running gag of Mushmouth having unlikely professional aspirations
The segment opens with the hosts introducing Mushmouth Thomas as a guest who could speak about coyotes, tying into their discussion of a book called “Coyote America.” However, true to form, Mushmouth immediately launches into a series of increasingly absurd personal anecdotes rather than providing any actual insight about coyotes. His stories include being married to a literal coyote who made him garbage sandwiches and his subsequent divorce proceedings.
Mushmouth’s storytelling becomes characteristically surreal as he describes a confrontation with another mushmouth that involves various animal appendages and abilities that make no biological sense. The divorce settlement included his collection of “possum dung,” a pile of sticks, and hundreds of hours of footage he shot of dirt. Throughout the segment, his speech pattern remains consistent with the character’s established voice.
The segment concludes with Mushmouth announcing his move to Montana for an IT job (which the hosts immediately dismiss as impossible) and presenting Craig with what he claims are the bones of an Italian cyclist he found in a labeled cemetery. The bit maintains the show’s trademark blend of the mundane and the absurd, with Mushmouth offering relatable stories like drinking rainwater behind Walmart while simultaneously claiming to be 1600 years old.
⏰ Mid-Show Analysis
Segments in this portion:
- Craig’s Book Club [00:00:00] — Craig Miller discusses his reading habits and reviews “Coyote America” by Dan Flores, a book he picked up in Santa Fe about the history and behavior of coyotes in North America.
Sports topics discussed:
- [00:00:00-00:00:05] Craig mentions he had previously reviewed three sports books during summer vacation and training camp, though specific sports topics aren’t detailed in this portion.
Pop culture, music, or non-sports topics discussed:
- [00:00:56-07:10] Extensive discussion about coyotes, including: their population (4 million in America with one within a mile of every American), their 500,000-year history in North America, their role as the first religious symbol on the continent for Native Americans, their intelligence and survival instincts, government eradication campaigns including strychnine factories and 3 million bait stations, and their diet preferences (primarily rodents, rabbits, cats, small dogs rather than cattle).
- [00:01:38-01:42] Gordon mentions hearing coyotes every night and seeing a pack while driving to work.
Summary:
This portion of The Musers featured Craig Miller’s “Craig’s Book Club” segment, where he discussed his ambitious reading goals for the year and reviewed “Coyote America” by Dan Flores. Craig explained how he discovered the book in a Santa Fe shop during vacation and became fascinated by the comprehensive history and behavior patterns of North American coyotes.
The discussion revealed surprising facts about coyotes, including their status as the first religious symbol in North America among Native American tribes and their remarkable survival abilities despite a century-long government eradication campaign. The hosts engaged with the topic, sharing their own experiences with local coyote populations, with Gordon noting he hears them nightly and saw a pack that morning.
The conversation covered the coyotes’ evolutionary history spanning 5.5 million years, their role in controlling rodent populations, and their ability to crossbreed with dogs and wolves. Craig detailed the extensive government efforts to eliminate coyotes through strychnine factories and millions of bait stations, driven primarily by pressure from farmers and ranchers who incorrectly blamed coyotes for cattle deaths, when in reality coyotes primarily scavenge rather than hunt large game.
🏁 Final Hour Analysis
Segments in this portion:
- Craigs Book Club [00:07:15-00:15:32]: Craig reviews “Coyote America” by Dan Flores, discussing the government’s attempts to eradicate coyotes, their adaptive breeding patterns, urban migration, and cultural perception.
Sports topics discussed in this portion:
None – this segment focused entirely on Craig’s book recommendation about coyotes.
Funny moments or memorable Gordo bits:
- [00:11:25] George jokes that coyotes in Manhattan have “rented some apartment like 50 of them live in it”
- [00:13:03] George calls the Road Runner “the Gordo of that cartoon” for his ability to somehow run through painted mountains while Wile E. Coyote couldn’t
- [00:15:25] Gordo declares coyotes are “our above water ally” and “Nessie is our underwater ally”
How the show wrapped up:
- [00:15:05] Craig concludes his book recommendation for “Coyote America” by Dan Flores, calling coyotes “this constant companion of ours in North America and this animal that just will not die”
- [00:15:32] The segment ends with Gordo’s humorous comparison of coyotes to mythical allies
Notable quotes or moments:
- [00:12:04] “They took a poll and it was voted the most hated animal in the United States even more hated than rattlesnakes and spiders” – Craig on coyotes in the 1980s
- [00:08:43] Craig explains coyotes can have 2-19 pups based on population needs: “when times are good…they only have two or three pups”
Summary:
This final portion of The Musers was dedicated entirely to Craig’s Book Club segment, where he enthusiastically reviewed “Coyote America” by Dan Flores. Craig shared fascinating details about the U.S. government’s extensive but failed efforts to eradicate coyotes, explaining how these animals have an remarkable ability to adjust their litter sizes based on population threats – producing up to 19 pups when under pressure versus just 2-3 during stable times.
The hosts engaged in a lively discussion about urban coyotes, wondering how they survive in cities and why we rarely see dead coyote bodies. Craig explained that dog leash ordinances ironically allowed coyotes to reclaim urban areas, leading to their presence in major cities including Manhattan by the 1980s. The conversation touched on pop culture representations, from Walt Disney’s attempts to improve their image to Wile E. Coyote cartoons.
The segment concluded with personal anecdotes from the hosts about their own coyote encounters, from Craig spotting them in city neighborhoods to Gordo hearing packs howling near his home. Craig wrapped up by positioning coyotes as remarkable survivors and “constant companions” in North America, while Gordo added his characteristic absurdist touch by declaring them humanity’s “above water ally.”
Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.
