The Musers — 2025-09-15
The Musers — 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Monday, September 15, 2025
📋 Segments This Day
- Fake Jerry
- Observation Deck
- Fake Jerry
- Observation Deck
🎙️ Early Show Analysis
Segments in this portion:
- Fake Jerry [00:00:00] — Mock interview with fake Jerry Jones discussing the Cowboys’ 40-37 overtime win over the Giants
- Observation Deck [00:00:00] — Gordo’s segment discussing NFL announcers and random observations from the Cowboys game
Sports topics discussed:
- Cowboys’ 40-37 overtime win over Giants, described as “one of the craziest, ugliest, most thrilling Cowboys games ever” [00:00:00]
- Cowboys defense performing poorly, described as “Swiss cheese on cleats” [00:01:51]
- Dak Prescott’s first interception of the season and criticism of his performance [00:02:40]
- Praise for CD Lamb, Javonte Williams, and Brandon Aubrey’s performances [00:03:18]
- DaRon Bland injury concerns and defensive secondary issues [00:04:34]
- Cowboys signing Jadeveon Clowney for pass rush help [00:05:45]
- Tyler Smith contract extension worth $96 million [00:06:19]
- Upcoming game against the Bears [00:06:46]
- Discussion of NFL announcing teams, ranking Joe Buck/Troy Aikman as best, followed by Tirico/Collinsworth and Joe Davis/Greg Olsen [00:00:51]
- Brandon Aubrey making only $1 million per year despite his performance [00:05:01]
Funny moments, Gordo bits, or memorable quotes:
- Fake Jerry comparing the game to “watching Jerry Jr. try to put together a ten-piece puzzle” [00:00:31]
- Fake Jerry mentioning he runs around in a wet diaper [00:01:38]
- Fake Jerry comparing Brian Daboll to “Wooly Willie” magnetic shaving toy [00:02:18]
- Fake Jerry saying Dak “needs Google Maps to read defenses” [00:03:02]
- Fake Jerry describing secondary as “like me wearing a Speedo — it just doesn’t cover enough” [00:04:10]
- Fake Jerry mentioning his “deep storage hobo cryogenic body farm” under AT&T Stadium for organ harvesting [00:05:16]
- Fake Jerry calling Mazi Smith “Missing Smith” [00:06:10]
- Fake Jerry’s inappropriate comment at the end causing the segment to abruptly end [00:07:02]
- Gordo’s observation about a player wearing turtle-themed jewelry [00:03:29]
Recurring bits, characters, or inside jokes referenced:
- “Fake Jerry” — long-running character impersonation
- References to Jerry Jr. in a diaper
- “Third Leg Greg” reference to Greg Olsen
- Gordo’s “Observation Deck” segment
- References to Jerry’s family members Stephen and Charlotte
- “All in” catchphrase
This portion of The Musers showcased one of their most popular recurring bits — the Fake Jerry character discussing the Cowboys’ dramatic overtime victory against the Giants. The impersonation included Jerry’s typical rambling style mixed with absurd and inappropriate comments about everything from defibrillator paddles in his suite to a fictional hobo body farm beneath the stadium. The bit covered legitimate football topics like the team’s defensive struggles, player performances, and recent signings, but delivered them through Jerry’s characteristically bizarre perspective.
Following the Fake Jerry segment, Gordo’s Observation Deck provided a more measured discussion of NFL announcing crews, with the hosts ranking various broadcast teams and discussing the relative merits of different commentators. The segment also included typical Gordo-style tangential observations, including a detailed description of a player’s turtle-themed jewelry that caught his attention during the game.
The overall tone balanced legitimate sports analysis with The Musers’ signature comedic approach, using the Cowboys’ thrilling but sloppy victory as a launching point for both football discussion and absurdist humor. The fake Jerry bit ended abruptly with an inappropriate comment, staying true to the character’s tendency to cross lines, while the Observation Deck segment demonstrated the show’s ability to find humor and discussion topics in even the smallest details from sporting events.
⏰ Mid-Show Analysis
Segments
- Fake Jerry (12:25): A comedy segment featuring Gordo impersonating Jerry Jones calling into the show to discuss the Cowboys’ 40-37 overtime win over the Giants
Sports Topics Discussed
- Brandon Aubrey contract discussion (5:34-12:04): Detailed conversation about the Cowboys kicker’s potential new deal, with discussion of him becoming the highest-paid kicker in the league (potentially $7-8 million per year vs. current $898,000)
- Cowboys-Giants game recap (during Fake Jerry segment): Discussion of the 40-37 overtime victory, including defensive struggles and player performances
- Contract extensions: Tyler Smith’s $96 million extension mentioned
- Player signings: Jadeveon Clowney signing discussed
- Injury updates: Doron Bland injury status
Funny Moments and Gordo Bits
- Fake Jerry segment (entire segment): Gordo’s Jerry Jones impersonation including:
- Comparing the game to “watching Jerry Jr. try to put together a ten-piece puzzle” (0:34)
- Jerry claiming to run around in wet diapers (1:38)
- Calling Brian Daboll “Wooly Willie” with magnetic shavings (2:18)
- Describing the secondary as “like me wearing a Speedo – it just doesn’t cover enough” (4:10)
- Joke about a “deep storage hobo cryogenic body farm” under AT&T Stadium (5:16)
- Multiple player name mispronunciations (“Jevedon Clownsey” for Jadeveon Clowney)
- Brandon Aubrey’s son’s name (11:53): Discussion of his son being named “Colton Aubrey” – “Tell me that isn’t a name from a romance novel”
- Evolution of kickers discussion (10:34): Humorous comparison of old kickers looking like uncles “stubs out a cigarette with his cleat” vs. modern kickers being “team snipers”
Pop Culture and Non-Sports Topics
- Movie potential (6:23): Discussion of Disney potentially making a movie about Brandon Aubrey’s story
- Soccer background: Brief mention of Aubrey’s time with Bethlehem Steel FC
- Evolution of NFL specialists: Conversation about how kickers and deep snappers have become more athletic and specialized over the past 20 years
Summary
This portion of The Musers featured an extended discussion about Cowboys kicker Brandon Aubrey’s incredible performance and potential contract extension. The hosts detailed his numerous NFL records and discussed how he could become the highest-paid kicker in the league, jumping from his current $898,000 annual salary to potentially $7-8 million per year. They also explored the evolution of the kicking position, noting how modern kickers have become much more athletic compared to the stereotype of kickers from decades past who “looked like uncles with a few beers in them.”
The segment transitioned into “Fake Jerry,” one of Gordo’s signature comedy bits where he impersonates Jerry Jones calling into the show. This particular version focused on the Cowboys’ wild 40-37 overtime victory over the Giants, with fake Jerry delivering absurd one-liners about the team’s defensive struggles, comparing the secondary to “wearing a Speedo – it doesn’t cover enough.” The bit included typical Gordo absurdism like Jerry’s fictional “hobo cryogenic body farm” under the stadium and running gags about Jerry Jr.’s incompetence.
Throughout both segments, the hosts demonstrated their blend of serious sports analysis and comedy that defines The Ticket’s approach. The Brandon Aubrey discussion showed genuine appreciation for his remarkable story and statistical achievements, while the Fake Jerry segment provided comic relief through Gordo’s spot-on impersonation and increasingly ridiculous scenarios, all while still covering actual team news like contract extensions and new signings.
🏁 Final Hour Analysis
What segments appeared in this portion?
Fake Jerry [00:06:43-00:07:12]: A brief Jerry Jones impersonation bit discussing preparation for the Bears game, ending with an inappropriate comment that caused the hosts to cut it short.
Observation Deck [00:00:00-00:12:02]: Gordo’s regular segment featuring observations about NFL announcers, a mystery player with turtle jewelry at the Cowboys game, and an extended discussion about Cowboys kicker Brandon Aubrey’s incredible story and contract situation.
Sports topics were discussed in this portion
- NFL announcing crews rankings and comparison of broadcast teams (Joe Davis/Greg Olsen, Joe Buck/Troy Aikman, Tony Romo/Jim Nantz, etc.)
- Brandon Aubrey’s remarkable kicking records and statistics, including his 65-yard field goal and various NFL records
- Discussion of Aubrey’s current $898,000 salary vs. the highest-paid kicker Harrison Butker at $7 million
- Evolution of NFL kickers from unathletic “uncle-like” figures to elite athletes
- Impact of improved deep snappers and specialized training on kicking accuracy
- Aubrey’s backstory from soccer player to NFL star kicker
Funny moments or memorable Gordo bits
- [00:06:43] Fake Jerry bit that went off the rails with an inappropriate comment about a “late-in-life estate drainer,” causing the hosts to quickly end it
- [00:03:44] Discussion about mystery player wearing elaborate turtle-themed gold jewelry on the Cowboys sideline
- [00:04:15] Gordo noting he likes tortoises but doesn’t wear jewelry about them
- [00:10:40] Nostalgic bit about old kickers looking like uncles who “stubs out a cigarette with his cleat” before attempting kicks
- [00:11:58] Noting that Aubrey’s son is named “Colton Aubrey” which “sounds like a name from a romance novel”
Final notable quotes or moments
- [00:10:59] “And now these guys are getting more of the vibe of this is your team sniper coming in to hit from long range.”
- [00:11:58] “Tell me that isn’t a name from a romance novel. She took up with the mysterious Colton Aubrey.”
Summary
This final portion of The Musers featured two distinct segments. The show opened with a brief Fake Jerry bit that quickly went south when the Jerry impersonation made an inappropriate comment, forcing the hosts to abruptly end it. The bulk of this portion was devoted to Gordo’s Observation Deck segment, which covered a wide range of topics from NFL broadcasting to an extended celebration of Cowboys kicker Brandon Aubrey.
The Observation Deck began with commentary on NFL announcing crews, ranking teams like Joe Buck/Troy Aikman at the top, followed by discussions of Joe Davis/Greg Olsen and other broadcast pairings. Gordo made observations about a mysterious player spotted on the Cowboys sideline wearing elaborate turtle-themed gold jewelry, leading to speculation about the player’s identity and nickname.
The segment’s main focus became Brandon Aubrey’s remarkable story and accomplishments. The hosts detailed his incredible statistics, including his 65-yard field goal record, perfect streaks, and various NFL records, while noting his bargain salary of under $900,000 compared to top kicker Harrison Butker’s $7 million. They discussed the evolution of NFL kickers from unathletic “uncle-like” figures to elite athletes, crediting improved training, specialized deep snappers, and soccer backgrounds for the dramatic improvement in kicking accuracy and range. The segment concluded with discussion of Aubrey’s contract negotiations and personal life, including his high school sweetheart wife who encouraged his kicking career and their son with the romance novel-worthy name “Colton Aubrey.”
Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.
