The Musers — 2025-11-11

The Musers — 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Tuesday, November 11, 2025

📋 Segments This Day

• Observation Deck
• Observation Deck The Musers 1162025
• Mushmouth
• Willy Tubbs The Musers 1142025
• Mushmouth
• Observation Deck
• Observation Deck The Musers 1152026

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🎙️ Early Show Analysis

Here is the analysis of this portion of The Musers:

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Segments That Appeared

• Observation Deck (Segment 1): Gordo’s regular opening bit covering offbeat news stories. Topics included cold weather arriving in Dallas, falling iguanas in Florida due to freezing temperatures, a nude bowling event in Pittsburgh (“Balls Out Bowling”), a Bigfoot sighting on Interstate 80 in Pennsylvania, and a brief tangent about the decline of bands in favor of solo artists.

• Observation Deck (Segment 2, dated 11/6/2025): A second Observation Deck segment, this one led by Gordo discussing the discontinuation of the penny by the Trump administration, the resulting penny shortage for businesses, stores offering promotions like a “free drink” for 100 pennies, the cost of minting coins (penny costs ~3.7 cents to make, nickel ~13.8 cents), laws preventing businesses from rounding up transactions, and the broader issue of credit card surcharges being passed to consumers.

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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable Quotes

• [~00:00:10, Segment 1] Gordo opens by asking if the guys noticed “your balls are cold this morning,” immediately setting a lowbrow comedic tone. One host mentions using his car seat warmer as a “ball warmer,” prompting Gordo to joke about “griddle marks on your scrote.”
• [~00:01:24, Segment 1] Gordo describes frozen iguanas falling from trees in Florida, noting they get “reanimated by Jesus” when it warms up, and suggests “Falling Iguanas” would be a good band name.
• [~00:02:00, Segment 1] Brief tangent about the death of bands in modern music — “You know we don’t have bands anymore.”
• [~00:03:06, Segment 1] The nude bowling event is named “Balls Out Bowling” — one host gives it an enthusiastic thumbs up.
• [~00:03:14, Segment 1] Gordo declares the worst nude sport is rock climbing (“especially the view”), followed by cycling.
• [~00:04:55, Segment 1] Gordo reads that nudity is required for all participants at the nude bowling event, “although women may wear bottoms if preferred” — to the confusion and amusement of everyone. Gordo says his job as a reporter is “to be more clear” about why.
• [~00:06:24, Segment 1] Discussion of whether anyone lingered by the hand dryer at the bowling alley for non-hand-drying purposes.
• [~00:09:04, Segment 1] After reading that Bigfoot “glided” across the highway smoothly, one host jokes: “Maybe he’s a running back. Maybe he’s got that glide.”
• [~00:10:43, Segment 1] Gordo references the Six Million Dollar Man fighting Bigfoot in slow motion. George calls it “unspecial effects.”
• [~00:07:47, Segment 2] When asked how many pennies were issued in 2024, someone (attributed to “Norm”) deadpans: “Three.” The bit gets a laugh.

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Recurring Bits, Characters, or Inside Jokes Referenced

• [~00:11:33, Segment 1] George references an old Ticket bit about “Kevin McCarthy, Basketball Sasquatch” — apparently a recurring joke from 25–30 years ago where Sasquatch was jokingly listed as playing for the Mavericks under Don Nelson. Craig Miller gets credit for the line that Sasquatch would “leave a lot of tickets” for friends and family when the team played in Portland.
• [~00:00:00, both segments] The Observation Deck is a recurring Gordo segment, sponsored by Tylock-George Eye Care.

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Sports Topics Discussed

• [~00:08:53, Segment 1] Tangential reference to the Dallas Mavericks via the Kevin McCarthy/Basketball Sasquatch inside joke — Sasquatch was jokingly said to be on the Mavericks roster during the Don Nelson era.

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Debates or Strong Opinions

• [~00:04:03, Segment 1] Mild debate about whether you’d bowl nude for a million dollars. George and at least one other host say yes; the key caveat raised is that you’d also have to see everyone else nude.
• [~00:07:40, Segment 1] George pushes back on Bigfoot belief, arguing that if Bigfoot were real, trail cameras would have captured definitive proof by now.
• [~00:04:28, Segment 2] Discussion of businesses rounding up transactions to the nearest nickel sparks a mild debate — George suggests laws preventing rounding need to be repealed to help businesses, while Gordo notes that’s a long-term legislative fix that doesn’t solve the immediate penny shortage.
• [~00:05:57, Segment 2] Shared frustration expressed about businesses charging an extra 3% for credit card use — multiple hosts agree they dislike it. Gordo notes the unintended consequence is that businesses just raise everyone’s prices to the credit card rate, eliminating any cash discount.

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Summary

The first Observation Deck segment was a classic Gordo-led tour through bizarre news, opening with cold weather jokes before pivoting to falling iguanas in Florida, a Pittsburgh nude bowling event called “Balls Out Bowling,” and a Bigfoot sighting on Interstate 80 in Pennsylvania. The nude bowling discussion was particularly lively, with the hosts riffing on the worst nude sports (rock climbing, cycling), whether they’d bowl nude for a million dollars, and the curious rule that women — but not men — could wear bottoms “if preferred.” The Bigfoot segment prompted a nostalgic callback to the Six Million Dollar Man’s Bigfoot episodes and a beloved old Ticket inside joke about “Kevin McCarthy, Basketball Sasquatch” supposedly playing for the Don Nelson–era Mavericks.

The second Observation Deck shifted to a more grounded but still entertaining discussion about the Trump administration’s discontinuation of the penny and the resulting chaos for businesses. Gordo walked through the practical absurdities: a convenience store offering a “free drink” for 100 pennies that isn’t really free, the surprisingly high cost of minting pennies (3.7 cents per penny) and nickels (13.8 cents), and laws in some states that prevent businesses from rounding up transactions — creating a legal and logistical headache during the transition period.

Both segments showcased the show’s signature blend of lowbrow humor, casual tangents, and genuine curiosity about oddball topics. Gordo drove the comedy throughout while George and Craig played reliable straight men and occasional sparring partners. There were no sports topics of substance in this portion, though a brief Mavericks reference snuck in via the Sasquatch callback. The segments felt like a warm, familiar morning hang more than a sports broadcast — which is very much in the DNA of The Ticket’s morning show.

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⏰ Mid-Show Analysis

Here is the analysis of this portion of The Musers:

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Segments That Appeared

• Penny/Cash Discussion (~00:07:50 in the unlabeled intro section): The hosts discuss a reported penny shortage despite the U.S. still minting billions of pennies (3.23 billion mentioned). The conversation drifts into cash vs. cashless society, personal spending habits, and how businesses are increasingly refusing cash.

• Mushmouth Segment (labeled twice, ~00:00:02 both instances): A recurring character bit in which Gordo voices “Mushmouth Thomas,” a bizarre, absurdist fictional creature, who visits the studio to greet fill-in host Rich (in for Craig). Mushmouth rambles about his strange biology and makes increasingly unhinged comments.

• Willy Tubbs Segment (~00:00:00 of that section): A parody “college basketball preview” bit in which Gordo voices “Willie Tubbs,” fictional brother of the late real-life coach Billy Tubbs, who was apparently a recurring character on the show. The “interview” devolves into pure absurdist chaos with no actual basketball analysis delivered.

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Sports Topics Discussed

• College basketball season tipping off was mentioned as the framing device for the Willy Tubbs bit (~00:00:00, Willy Tubbs segment)
• Houston and Texas Tech were briefly mentioned as Texas teams expected to be strong after deep tournament runs the prior year (~00:01:15)
• Purdue was name-dropped as a potential top team in the country (~00:02:26), though no actual take was given
• The Big 12 basketball conference was briefly referenced (~00:03:12) before being derailed
• The 2025-26 college basketball season was mentioned as the framing context (~00:04:20)

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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable One-Liners

• Mushmouth claims to be “the only animal that lays eggs and does live births at the same time,” with nested fetuses inside each egg, requiring you to “keep cracking them open to get the final fetus — then you have to battle it to see who goes to the next level” (~00:03:47)
• Mushmouth says he has only one wing and “flies in circles a lot” (~00:04:19)
• Mushmouth claims mushmuffs are one of only two animals with five legs; when asked what the other is, the punchline is “a pit bull coming back from a playground” (~00:04:29) — immediately flagged as going too far (“that’s 067”)
• Mushmouth offers to treat a woman like a princess: “Put her in a Mercedes and crash it into a wall” (~00:06:03) — drawing immediate pushback and being called “the worst character on the station” (~00:06:15)
• Willie Tubbs claims to be “dressed as Abe Lincoln in a Victoria’s Secret dressing room crying” during the interview, saying it gives him an advantage over people who are not doing the same (~00:02:46)
• Willie Tubbs says the rule of his sports trivia game is: get one right, earn four points; get one wrong, “I’ll shoot another cheerleader” (~00:03:38)
• Willie Tubbs’s closing joke: “What do you call a kangaroo with a gaping rectum, Chuck? A dream come true.” (~00:04:43)
• Gordo’s spending/eating analogy: “It’s like chewing your food almost… you’re eating money so fast you’re not paying attention to how much money you’re eating” (~00:11:25)
• The hosts note the absurdity of cashless businesses: “We accept U.S. dollars. Just not in actual U.S. dollar form.” (~00:12:49)

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Notable Debates or Host Disagreements

• Minor disagreement over what percentage of Americans are truly “cashless” — one host cites an AI stat that 56% of adults like to have cash on them, but another pushes back, arguing that having cash available doesn’t mean you’re not cashless in practice (~00:09:37–00:10:13)

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Pop Culture, Music, or Non-Sports Topics

• The penny shortage: the U.S. reportedly only minted about half a year’s worth of pennies in 2025, causing concern despite low cash usage (~00:08:13)
• Cash vs. cashless society debate, including the irony of legal tender being refused at some businesses (~00:12:31)
• Personal finance discussion: money managers recommending cash-only systems to control spending; the psychological difference between handing over physical bills versus tapping a card (~00:10:19)
• A reference to the late Billy Tubbs, former head coach at TCU and Oklahoma, as the inspiration for the “Willie Tubbs” character (~00:00:10, Willy Tubbs segment)
• Tony Romo referenced via a “TTF” joke (Too Talented to Fail, or similar), which Mushmouth riffs on with Rich (~00:01:26)

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Summary

This portion of The Musers opens with a casual, wide-ranging conversation about the surprising news of a U.S. penny shortage, which leads the hosts into a broader discussion about America’s shift to a cashless society. They debate whether most people truly are cashless, swap personal anecdotes about when they last carried pennies, and touch on the psychological benefits of using physical cash to control spending. The segment is conversational and light, with Rich filling in for Craig and contributing naturally to the flow.

The show then pivots to two recurring absurdist character bits that are clearly well-established Gordo creations. The Mushmouth Thomas segment features Gordo voicing a deranged, biologically impossible creature who crashes the show to greet fill-in host Rich, claiming they are old friends. Mushmouth describes his bizarre physiology — one wing, five legs, simultaneous egg-laying and live births with nested fetuses — and lobbies to move into Rich’s garage for the winter to store his placenta. The bit escalates until a pair of dark jokes prompt the hosts to pull the plug, with one calling Mushmouth “the worst character on the station.”

The Willy Tubbs segment follows a similar structure, framed as a college basketball season preview with the fictional brother of the late coach Billy Tubbs. Willie, voiced by Gordo in a recognizable eccentric style, refuses to address any actual basketball questions, instead delivering a rapid-fire series of non-sequiturs and increasingly deranged one-liners — including being dressed as Abraham Lincoln crying in a Victoria’s Secret dressing room and threatening to shoot cheerleaders during a trivia game. The segment provides zero basketball analysis, which appears entirely intentional, and ends with the hosts cheerfully sending Willie off as their “basketball analyst.”

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🏁 Final Hour Analysis

Analysis of The Musers Final Portion — 2025-11-11

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Segments That Appeared

• Mushmouth (~00:01:40–00:06:21 in first block): A recurring comedy bit featuring an absurdist character (“Rich”) who speaks in ridiculous non-sequiturs — in this case riffing on flying beside planes, knocking them out of the sky with a sharpened tail, saving passengers, placentas growing wings, and asking to be best friends with someone. Described by one host as “the worst character on the station.”

• Observation Deck (second block): Gordo’s signature segment, sponsored by Tylock George-Eicker. Topics included falling iguanas in Florida due to cold weather, the decline of bands in favor of solo artists, nude bowling in Pittsburgh (“Balls Out Bowling”), and a Bigfoot sighting on Interstate 80 in Pennsylvania.

• Observation Deck (The Musers 1152026) (third block): Another Observation Deck installment. Topics included Gordo’s Twitch stream with George the night before, eye black in football, a hidden camera pervert in Iowa who placed cameras in porta-potties, a recalled story about a man who physically hid *inside* a porta-potty, checking for hidden cameras in Airbnbs and public restrooms, and a woman in South Carolina who stabbed her husband with a ceramic squirrel over beer on Christmas.

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Sports Topics Discussed

• Eye black in football (~00:00:32–00:02:23, third block): Gordo questioned why players don’t reapply eye black after it smears during games, and whether it serves a functional or purely aesthetic/”warrior” purpose.
• Helmet-to-helmet contact with teammates (~00:01:33–00:02:46, third block): Gordo raised an original observation — why isn’t there a penalty for hitting your *own* teammate helmet-to-helmet while making a tackle, given the same concussion risk applies?
• Cowboys loss to the Cardinals (~00:00:00, third block): Briefly mentioned — Jerry Jones interview about the loss to the Cardinals was teased as coming up in 20 minutes.
• Original Greek Olympics (~00:03:45–00:04:05, second block): Tangential sports history note that ancient Greek athletes competed nude, prompted by the nude bowling story.
• Six Million Dollar Man vs. Sasquatch (~00:10:44–00:11:33, second block): Nostalgic discussion of the TV show, slow-motion effects, and Bigfoot’s depiction.
• Kevin McCarthy Sasquatch basketball bit (~00:11:33–00:12:12, second block): Gordo recalled an old Ticket bit where they had Sasquatch playing for the Mavericks under Don Nelson, with Craig’s line that Sasquatch would leave a lot of tickets for friends/family when playing in Portland.

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Strong Predictions or Bold Takes

• Gordo’s helmet-to-helmet teammate penalty take (~00:01:33, third block): Gordo argued that NFL rules should penalize defenders for not taking evasive action to avoid helmet-to-helmet contact with their *own* teammates — a take Junior called “a thought I’ve never heard before” and praised as genuinely original.
• George on Bigfoot (~00:07:47, second block): Flatly stated that if Bigfoot were real, trail cams would have captured definitive proof by now.

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Funny Moments or Memorable Gordo Bits

• Mushmouth “Rich” character (~00:01:40–00:06:21, first block): Rich claimed to fly alongside planes, knock them from the sky with his “sharpened tail,” save passengers on his back, deliver them to “a heavily trafficked deserted island,” grow his wings using stolen placentas, and asked someone to be his best friend despite already being “full in that category.” He also delivered the dark joke: “How do you treat a woman like a princess? Put her in a Mercedes and crash her into a wall.” One host called him “the worst character on the station.”

• Falling iguanas (~00:00:35–00:01:32, second block): Gordo described cold-stunned iguanas falling from trees in Florida, saying they “get reanimated by Jesus and start scurrying around.” He noted “Falling Iguanas” would be a good band name, which spiraled into a discussion about the death of bands as a musical format.

• Nude bowling / “Balls Out Bowling” (~00:02:43–00:06:12, second block): Gordo reported on a 300-person nude bowling event in Pittsburgh called “Balls Out Bowling” ($30 entry, shoe rental included, towels required to sit). Notable detail: nudity was required for all, but women were permitted to wear bottoms “if preferred” — which baffled the hosts. George flatly refused to participate even for a million dollars. Someone asked if anyone lingered near the hand dryer for non-drying purposes.

• Man hiding inside a porta-potty (~00:05:34–00:06:55, third block): Gordo recalled an old story of a man who physically climbed down into a porta-potty and sat in the waste tank just to look up — George’s horrified rhetorical response (“When his parents brought home their bundle of joy…did they envision that 30 years down the road he would climb into a porta-potty?”) was a highlight.

• Ceramic squirrel stabbing (~00:08:55–00:09:43, third block): Gordo closed with a story from Charleston, SC — a woman stabbed her husband with a ceramic squirrel on Christmas night because he came home from the store without beer. George: “What a way to celebrate the birth of the Savior.”

• Gordo on himself (~00:07:43–00:07:49, third block): “I mean, pervs will go to any length to see my breasts.”

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How the Show Wrapped Up

• The second Observation Deck ended with George thanking Gordo for “those observations of Bigfoot and nude bowling” (~00:12:12, second block).
• The third segment ended on the ceramic squirrel stabbing story, with Gordo framing all his crime/pervert stories as designed to “make you feel better about yourself,” and joking that “save for the fourth Muser, the three of us are not Iowa pervs” (~00:09:46–00:10:06, third block).
• A teaser for an upcoming Jerry Jones interview about the Cowboys’ loss to the Cardinals was given at the top of the third segment (~00:00:00–00:00:07): “We’re going to visit with Cowboys owner and GM Jerry Jones about the loss to the Cardinals coming up here in 20 minutes at 6:40.”
• Monty was mentioned as filling in for Junior (Giorgio) on Friday (~00:02:51–00:02:58, third block).

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Notable Quotes

• *”I fly beside them and knock them out of the sky with my sharpened tail!”* — Mushmouth/Rich (~00:01:59, first block)
• *”They get reanimated by Jesus and start scurrying around.”* — Gordo on Florida iguanas (~00:01:31, second block)
• *”I know what I saw but I don’t know what I saw. I’m an avid hunter with plus 50 years in the woods. This was not a bear.”* — Bigfoot witness quoted by Gordo (~00:09:49, second block)
• *”When his parents brought home their bundle of joy from the hospital, did they envision that 30 years down the road he would climb into a porta-potty, sit in the muck and look up?”* — George (~00:06:01, third block)
• *”I mean, pervs will go to any length to see my breasts.”* — Gordo (~00:08:43, third block)
• *”What a way to celebrate the birth of the Savior.”* — George on the ceramic squirrel stabbing (~00:09:39, third block)
• *”These stories are intended to make you feel better about yourself.”* — George (~00:10:03, third block)

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3-Paragraph Summary

This final portion of The Musers opened with the Mushmouth segment, featuring the absurdist recurring character “Rich,” who delivered increasingly unhinged non-sequiturs about flying alongside airplanes, saving passengers with his back, growing wings from stolen placentas, and requesting to move in with someone who had no spare bedroom. The bit climaxed with a pitch-black Princess Diana joke that prompted one host to label Rich “the worst character on the station” before signing off. The Mushmouth gave way to the first Observation Deck, where Gordo covered two main topics: the phenomenon of cold-stunned iguanas falling from trees in Florida (with Gordo noting they “get reanimated by Jesus”), which veered into a meditation on the disappearance of bands from popular music; and a detailed report on “Balls Out Bowling,” a 300-person nude bowling event in Pittsburgh that required towels for seating, banned cameras, and mysteriously permitted women — but not men — to wear bottoms. The segment closed with a Bigfoot sighting report from Interstate 80 in Pennsylvania, described by a retired civil engineer and Air Force veteran, which triggered warm nostalgia for The Ticket’s old Kevin McCarthy Sasquatch-plays-for-the-Mavericks bit.

The second Observation Deck opened with Gordo referencing a Twitch stream the night before where George had attempted — and mostly failed — to research answers to Gordo’s sports questions. Two of those questions were revisited: whether eye black is truly functional or just aesthetic, and Gordo’s genuinely novel observation that the NFL should penalize defenders for helmet-to-helmet contact with their *own* teammates, since the concussion risk is identical. Junior praised the take as something he had never heard before and credited Gordo’s outsider perspective. The segment then pivoted to darker fare: a 32-year-old Iowa man named Tyler Pavlik who planted hidden cameras in porta-potties at outdoor festivals and now faces nearly a hundred charges, which led Gordo to recall an even more extreme old story of a man who physically hid inside a porta-potty’s waste tank. George’s appalled rhetorical question — “When his parents brought home their bundle of joy, did they envision that 30 years later he’d be sitting in the muck looking up?” — landed as one of the segment’s biggest moments.

The show’s final minutes wrapped with a brief discussion about checking for hidden cameras in Airbnbs and public restrooms (George admitted he had never thought about it; Gordo ribbed him for only thinking “one deep”), and Gordo closed with a palate-cleanser crime story from Charleston, South Carolina, where a woman stabbed her husband with a ceramic squirrel on Christmas night because he returned from the store without beer. George’s epitaph — “What a way to celebrate the birth of the Savior” — brought the segment to a close, with Gordo framing the entire collection of stories as designed to make listeners feel better about their own life choices. Throughout the final portion, a tease for an upcoming Jerry Jones interview about the Cowboys’ loss to the Arizona Cardinals at 6:40 reminded listeners the show still had sports content ahead, and Monty was confirmed as filling in for Junior on Friday.

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Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.