The Musers — 2025-11-08

The Musers — 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Saturday, November 8, 2025

📋 Segments This Day

• Marge Schwimdiddler
• The Ramp
• The Observation Deck
• E-Brake
• Marge Schwimdiddler
• E-Brake
• The Ramp

---

🎙️ Early Show Analysis

Here is the analysis of this portion of The Musers from 2025-11-08:

—

Segments That Appeared

• Marge Schwimdiddler (00:00:00): A recurring Gordo character bit in which Marge, a crude, wheelchair-using elderly woman who claims to have been George Dunham’s high school swim coach and former lover, visits the studio to flirt aggressively with guest host Justin Montemayor (Monty). The bit involves escalating sexual humor and ends with Marge kissing Monty on air.
• The Ramp (follows Marge segment): A musical/comedy bit — appears to be a song parody or jingle segment riffing on wheelchair/ramp themes and a “Seth Erskine” character who is repeatedly identified as a fan of various NFL teams (the Colts and the Raiders, alternating), suggesting the joke is that his team loyalty is unclear or absurd.
• The Observation Deck with Gordo (00:00:00 in its segment): Gordo’s regular commentary segment, sponsored by Tilock George Eye Care. Topics included Prince Harry apologizing for wearing a Dodgers cap at the World Series, the British Commonwealth, royal succession, male hair loss and wigs, and a riff on Meghan Markle’s attractiveness and personality, pivoting into a list of “sex trends for 2025” directed humorously at Monty.
• E-Brake of the Week (00:00:01 in its segment): The weekly segment where listeners vote on the most egregious on-air flub or meltdown. Candidate number one presented in this portion is George Dunham getting an uncontrollable, inexplicable laughing fit during the weekly picks segment with a P1 caller named Wesley.

—

Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable Quotes

• The entire Marge Schwimdiddler segment is a Gordo character bit. Highlights include:
• Marge describing teenage George as looking like he “had a joey tucked into his Speedos — a full-grown baby kangaroo just trying to kick its way out” [~00:01:10]
• Marge claiming George hired a water buffalo to catapult her off a field house roof as a breakup method, leaving her in a wheelchair [~00:02:28–00:03:09]
• Marge noting she accesses Monty’s Instagram by knocking “a fellow homeless off a Pornhub” at the Central Dallas Library [~00:03:35]
• Marge offering Monty a French kiss live on air, resulting in Monty saying “Why do I like this so much?” [~00:05:10]
• Marge signing off with “Hashtag chair life” [~00:05:39]
• In The Observation Deck, Gordo jokes that Prince William should embrace wearing different wigs — “some days he comes in looking like a member of 1987 Whitesnake” [~00:04:43]
• Gordo refers to the line of royal succession using baseball metaphors: Charles is batting, William is “on deck,” and Harry is now “in the hole” — then Monty corrects that William’s sons have actually bumped Harry further down [~00:04:01–00:05:21]
• Gordo’s deadpan: “King Charles’s sausage fingers” [~00:02:21]
• Monty’s stated criteria for a romantic partner: “a current woman with a pulse” [~00:06:18]
• Gordo reads a list of 2025 sex trends and declares the remaining weeks of the year should be “the year of Monty’s anus” [~00:09:36]
• During the E-Brake, George Dunham’s inexplicable laughing fit during the picks segment is highlighted. The caller Wesley notes he “couldn’t hear the matchup because of your laugh.” Junior observes: “I still don’t know what he was laughing about.” [~00:03:25]

—

Phone Callers

• Wesley — a P1 caller who appeared the previous Friday for the weekly picks segment against the hosts. He is referenced (via audio clip) in the E-Brake as candidate number one. He beat Junior in picks and tied George. During the segment, George dissolved into uncontrollable laughter for reasons he could not explain, derailing the picks. Wesley good-naturedly noted he couldn’t hear the matchup through George’s laughter.

—

Recurring Bits, Characters, or Inside Jokes Referenced

• Marge Schwimdiddler — an established Gordo character, a crude, wheelchair-bound elderly woman with an obsessive attachment to George Dunham and an extremely raunchy personality. This is a recurring bit on the show.
• The Ramp — appears to be a recurring musical segment tied to the Marge/wheelchair theme, with a running gag about a character named Seth Erskine whose NFL team affiliation keeps changing between the Colts and the Raiders.
• E-Brake of the Week — a long-running weekly Musers segment where the worst on-air moments are nominated and P1 listeners vote on the winner. Junior (Craig Miller) is noted as the “backup host” of the segment, likening himself to a backup quarterback who rarely gets to play [~00:00:53].
• Picks Against the P1 — a recurring Friday segment where a listener competes against the hosts in picking game winners.
• Justin Montemayor (Monty) filling in for George Dunham is noted and referenced throughout — Marge calling him “Non-George” and “Double Non-George,” and Gordo incorporating his guest status into multiple bits.
• George Dunham’s father being from Longview is mentioned as a known piece of George lore during the E-Brake clip [~00:03:15].

—

Summary

This portion of the November 8, 2025 Musers opens at 8:43 AM with Gordo’s recurring Marge Schwimdiddler character making an appearance specifically to meet fill-in host Justin Montemayor. The bit is vintage Gordo — Marge is a filthy, wheelchair-bound elderly woman who claims to be George Dunham’s former high school swim coach and ex-lover, weaving an increasingly absurd story involving a water buffalo, exotic kinks, and life as a homeless library patron. The segment ends with Marge kissing Monty on air to his confused delight, and the show segueing into “The Ramp,” a musical bit that appears to spoof a wheelchair ramp and features a running non sequitur gag about a “Seth Erskine” whose NFL team loyalty oscillates between the Colts and Raiders.

Gordo’s Observation Deck segment takes a lighter, more conversational tone, riffing on Prince Harry apologizing to Canada for wearing a Dodgers cap at the World Series. The hosts joke about the logistics of being a royal and having to vet every wardrobe choice against 56 Commonwealth nations, the absurdity of the British monarchy’s hereditary system, and Prince William’s refusal to simply shave his head or embrace wigs. The conversation drifts into a riff on Meghan Markle’s controlling personality, Monty’s very low bar for romantic partnership (“a current woman with a pulse”), and Gordo presenting a list of supposed 2025 sex trends — which he concludes should occupy Monty’s remaining six weeks of the year.

The segment closes with the E-Brake of the Week, hosted by Junior in George’s absence. Candidate number one is George himself, for an extended, inexplicable laughing fit that broke out during the previous Friday’s picks segment with P1 caller Wesley. George could not identify what triggered his laughter, the caller couldn’t hear the matchup being read, and the whole segment spiraled into chaos — making it a strong E-Brake contender. The portion ends before the other two candidates or the P1 vote are presented.

---

⏰ Mid-Show Analysis

Here is the analysis of this portion of the show:

Segments That Appeared

• E-Brake of the Week (~00:04:00): The weekly segment where listeners vote on which host or contributor made the most awkward or embarrassing on-air mistake that week. Three candidates were presented and listeners called in to vote.
• Marge Schwimdiddler bit (~00:00:00 in the second block): A recurring Gordo character — George’s fictional former high school swim coach — who visits the show and delivers an absurdist, raunchy monologue, this time directed at fill-in host Monty.

—

Was There an Observation Deck Segment?

The transcript does not contain a standalone Observation Deck segment, but the E-Brake voting portion opens with a reference to “OSS” (Other Sports-ess / Observation Deck Sports Segment), specifically a clip of Matt McLaren discussing the Dallas Stars while accidentally saying they were “backed up” instead of “banged up” (~00:04:11). This was used as one of the three E-Brake candidates rather than a full Observation Deck segment.

—

Sports Topics Discussed

• Dallas Stars: Briefly mentioned in the context of the E-Brake candidate clip — Matt McLaren accidentally said the team was “backed up” instead of “banged up” with injuries. The hosts riffed on the idea of the entire team being listed with a “lower body injury” due to constipation (~00:04:11–00:05:19).
• High school football picks: A clip from George’s game-picking segment with a P1 named Wesley was played as part of the E-Brake evidence. George got uncontrollable giggles while reading the matchup of Melissa at Prosper/Walnut Grove, unable to explain why (~00:14:26–00:15:37).
• E-Brake standings: It was noted that George’s win was his 112th E-Brake, expanding his lead over Gordo for second place all time, behind Norm (~00:15:58–00:16:12).

—

Notable Debates or Host Disagreements

• During the Bob Sturm E-Brake clip discussion, one host (appears to be Gordo/Junior) pointed out the irony that after all the crude jokes made at Lando’s expense about being “high” during the Fort Hood shooting, the other hosts then took the moral high ground against Bob for saying “that’s awesome” (~00:07:29–00:07:53). The tone was light but pointed.

—

Phone Callers

• Multiple callers voted in the E-Brake. Notable ones included:
• A caller who voted for “Bob’s love of mass shootings,” which drew an immediate correction from the hosts (~00:08:49–00:08:57).
• A caller doing an impression of Coco the sign language gorilla, referencing Dick Cheney’s death and his baboon heart donor, voting for George and also saying “Fire Nico” (a Mavericks reference) (~00:09:39–00:10:10).
• A caller impersonating Stephen Jones voting for himself, who was not a candidate (~00:10:28–00:10:56).
• A caller identified as “Brady Tom,” a known P1 regular, who confirmed her vote for George and said she missed him (~00:13:16–00:13:47).
• A caller doing an impression of Norm talking to Pat Summerall, who voted for Matt (candidate #2) (~00:11:44–00:12:07).
• A caller who asked “Are you gay?” and was dismissed as a “norm vote” (~00:10:38–00:10:43).
• A caller who voted for “the surprisingly funny Little House on the Prairie,” which was not a candidate (~00:12:28–00:12:32).
• A caller identifying as “Cruz and Lito” referencing WIP (Philadelphia sports radio) and voting for McLaren (~00:12:36–00:12:51).

—

Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable One-Liners

• The entire “backed up vs. banged up” riff on the Stars was a highlight, with lines like “they’re all just holding their bottom” and “it’s like a wheel of cheese at team dinner” (~00:04:25–00:05:12).
• Bob Sturm saying “that’s awesome” in response to Lando having been on Fort Hood during the 2009 shooting, then immediately pivoting to attack Corby by saying the most exciting thing he’d ever done was go to an OU football game (~00:06:44–00:07:20).
• The Marge Schwimdiddler bit was the major comedy set piece of this block — Gordo’s character described a fictitious erotic relationship with teenage George, claiming he looked like he had “a joey tucked into his Speedos — a full-grown baby kangaroo just trying to kick its way out,” and that George ended their relationship by hiring a water buffalo to catapult her off a field house roof, severing her spine (~00:00:17–00:03:09).
• Marge’s line about checking Monty’s Instagram whenever she’s “allowed into the Central Dallas Library” and could “knock a fellow homeless off a Pornhub for five minutes” (~00:03:31–00:03:42).
• Marge offering Monty the chance to fulfill her curiosity about “stump play,” noting that George had always wanted her to saw off her own leg for a “one-time erotic experience” but she had wisely declined (~00:04:04–00:04:22).
• George winning the E-Brake for his inexplicable giggle fit over the Prosper/Walnut Grove matchup, with Junior noting George could not explain what was funny (~00:14:26–00:15:37).

—

Guests or Special Visitors

• Justin Montemayor (Monty) from *The Sweet Spot / Work in Progress* was sitting in for George throughout this portion (~00:00:02).
• Marge Schwimdiddler — Gordo’s fictional recurring character, George’s old swim coach — appeared as a bit (~00:00:17).

—

Pop Culture, Music, or Non-Sports Topics

• Dick Cheney’s death was referenced in a caller’s Coco the gorilla bit, specifically joking about the baboon heart Cheney famously received (~00:09:39–00:10:07).
• Fort Hood shooting (2009): Discussed in the context of Bob Sturm’s E-Brake clip — Lando (Donovan Lewis) revealed he was on the base the night of the shooting for training, which Bob called “awesome,” prompting the cringe reaction (~00:05:52–00:07:07).
• Kink terminology: The Marge bit rattled off a list of BDSM/fetish terms (breath play, CNC, breeding kink, free use, stump play) in an escalating absurdist fashion (~00:01:43–00:04:22).

—

3-Paragraph Summary

This portion of the Friday Musers opened with the E-Brake of the Week vote, presenting three candidates from the week’s programming. The first was Matt McLaren accidentally describing the Dallas Stars as “backed up” instead of “banged up,” which sent the hosts into a riff about the entire team suffering from constipation and being listed with lower body injuries. The second was Bob Sturm, who responded to a This Day in History item about the 2009 Fort Hood shooting by saying “that’s awesome” when Lando (Donovan Lewis) revealed he had been on the base that night — a comment that landed awkwardly, though one host noted the irony that the other Hardline members who then mocked Bob had themselves been making crude jokes about Lando being too high to hear the shots. The third candidate was George Dunham, who erupted in inexplicable laughter during a high school football picks segment with P1 Wesley, unable to stop giggling long enough to announce the Prosper/Walnut Grove matchup.

Listeners called in to vote, and the calls were a mix of genuine votes and recurring Ticket bit characters — including Coco the sign language gorilla (referencing Dick Cheney’s baboon heart), a Stephen Jones impersonation voting for himself as a non-candidate, a Norm-talking-to-Pat-Summerall impression, the beloved P1 regular Brady Tom calling in to vote for George, and a caller voting for the non-candidate “surprisingly funny Little House on the Prairie.” George won with the most votes, earning his 112th E-Brake of the Week and extending his second-place lead over Gordo in the all-time standings, behind only Norm.

The segment closed with the Marge Schwimdiddler bit — Gordo’s recurring character, George’s fictional elderly former high school swim coach — who visited the studio to introduce herself to fill-in host Monty. Marge delivered an escalating absurdist monologue about her illicit romance with a teenage George, his impressive physique in a Speedo (“a joey trying to kick its way out”), their elaborate erotic life together, and how George ultimately ended the relationship by hiring a water buffalo to launch her off a field house roof, leaving her in a wheelchair. She concluded by hitting on Monty, offering to fulfill her lifelong curiosity about “stump play” and asking for just a 10-minute heads-up so she could “hose off down there.” Monty, filling in for George, navigated the conversation with admirable composure throughout.

---

🏁 Final Hour Analysis

Here is the analysis of this final portion of The Musers (2025-11-08):

—

Segments That Appeared

• Marge Schwimdiddler (~00:04:39 in the opening block): A recurring character bit — appears to involve a comedic scenario where “Marge” is trying to convince someone named “Monty” to let her move in, offering a French kiss as persuasion. Very absurdist and raunchy in tone, ending with Marge being told to take things elsewhere and someone remarking on a “slight tingle” and “hashtag chair life.”
• E-Brake (Emergency Break of the Week) (00:00:01–00:16:12): The weekly segment where three candidates from across Ticket programming are nominated for the most wheels-off/awkward moment of the week. Listeners call in to vote for a winner.
• The Ramp (00:00:18–end): The closing musical send-off segment. This week it features a custom song about “Seth Erskine,” described as a Colts superfan (with the team allegiance humorously alternating between the Colts and the Raiders throughout the bit).

—

Sports Topics Discussed

• Texas high school football (E-Brake, ~00:01:50–00:02:52): Referenced in the context of George’s giggle fit during “Picks Against the P1” — specifically a matchup between Melissa at Prosper vs. Walnut Grove, and Longview vs. North 40 in District 10-6A.
• Dallas Stars (E-Brake, ~00:04:06–00:05:22): Matt McLaren from The Invasion accidentally said the Stars were “backed up” instead of “banged up,” leading to a long riff about the entire team being constipated and playing on ice.
• Fort Hood shooting anniversary (E-Brake, ~00:05:46–00:08:14): Came up as a “This Day in History” item (November 5, 2009) during the Hardline’s “Why Today Doesn’t Suck.” Lando (Kevin Landrum) revealed he was on the base that night for training, which Bob Sturm called “awesome” — the E-Brake nomination.
• Dallas Mavericks (E-Brake, ~00:10:06): Briefly referenced — Coco the gorilla caller tags on “fire Nico” at the end of a vote, a nod to ongoing Mavs frustration with Nico Harrison.
• E-Break all-time standings (~00:15:59–00:16:12): George’s win is his 112th E-Break, expanding his lead over Gordon (Gordo) for second place all-time, behind Norm.

—

Funny Moments and Memorable Bits

• Marge Schwimdiddler’s proposition (~00:04:39–00:05:49): Marge offers Monty a French kiss and apparently honks something, leading to someone saying they feel “a slight tingle below the waist — hashtag chair life.” Very characteristic Gordo absurdism.
• George’s inexplicable giggle fit (E-Brake, ~00:01:37–00:03:01): George cannot stop laughing during Picks Against the P1 at the Melissa vs. Walnut Grove matchup, for reasons he cannot explain. P1 Wesley can’t even hear the matchup over the laughter. A classic “got the laughs” moment.
• Matt McLaren’s “backed up” Stars (~00:04:12–00:05:22): The riff about the entire Dallas Stars roster being constipated, with jokes about the white ice making accidents obvious and players skating slowly because they’re “weighed down,” was a highlight.
• Bob Sturm’s “that was awesome” (~00:05:54–00:08:14): Bob’s oddly detached, almost enthusiastic reaction to Lando being on Fort Hood during a mass shooting was the third E-Break candidate. When cornered, Bob immediately went on offense at Corby, asking what he’d ever done besides go to an OU football game. Junior’s commentary: “Everybody takes turns up on the high horse. We all get a chance to ride.”
• Coco the gorilla caller (~00:09:29–00:10:13): A recurring bit caller doing a sign-language gorilla character, this time invoking Dick Cheney’s death to vote for George and tacking on “fire Nico” at the end. Junior noted that Coco’s vocabulary is limited when translated from sign language.
• “Stephen Jones voting for himself” (~00:10:30–00:10:38): A caller impersonating Stephen Jones tried to vote for himself despite not being a candidate — a quick, dry gag.
• Brady Tom calls in (~00:13:11–00:13:51): A well-known and beloved regular P1 caller recognized that George wasn’t there, expressed that she missed him, and voted for him warmly. Junior greeted her genuinely.
• The Ramp’s Seth Erskine song: A custom Ramp song dedicated to Seth Erskine, described as a Colts “Colt Superfan.” The lyrics humorously alternate his team allegiance between the Colts and the Raiders throughout, a running gag about fan confusion or fickleness.

—

Phone Callers

Several callers voted during the E-Break segment:

• A caller voting for “Bob’s love of mass shootings” (~00:08:52)
• A caller identified as “Tiger” who voted for George (~00:09:09)
• “Coco the gorilla” — recurring bit caller, voted for George, tagged on “fire Nico” (~00:09:29)
• A caller impersonating Stephen Jones trying to vote for himself (~00:10:30)
• A caller asking “Are you gay?” — identified by Junior as a “Norm vote” (~00:10:45)
• A caller asking for the choices again — recognized as a recurring gag (~00:11:01)
• “Double fake” / fake Natalie Maynes (AI version) — voted for George, referenced Matt Khalil (~00:11:11)
• A Norm/Pat Summerall impersonator who ended up voting for Matt (#2) (~00:11:44)
• A caller simply voting for Bob (~00:12:15)
• A caller voting for “Little House on the Prairie” (not a candidate) (~00:12:28)
• “Cruz and Lito” — voted for McLaren, made a cash joke referencing Coach Timmy Veal (~00:12:37)
• Brady Tom — voted for George, expressed she missed him (~00:13:11)
• A final caller who voted for George, possibly the “evil Mercedes guy” character (~00:13:56)

—

How the Show Wrapped Up

• The E-Break concluded with George Dunham winning his 112th Emergency Break of the Week for his uncontrollable giggling during Picks Against the P1 with P1 Wesley (~00:14:08–00:16:12). Junior noted this expands George’s lead over Gordo for second place all-time, behind Norm.
• The show closed with The Ramp, a custom send-off song about Seth Erskine, a Colts superfan whose team loyalty humorously fluctuated between the Colts and the Raiders across the length of the song.

—

Notable Quotes

• *”I feel a slight tingle down below the waist. It’s the first time in forever. Hashtag chair life.”* — Marge Schwimdiddler character (~00:05:34)
• *”I couldn’t hear the matchup because of your laugh.”* — P1 Wesley to George (~00:15:01), replayed during E-Break winner announcement
• *”I love the thought that the team is constipated and they’re all listed with a lower body injury. Like they do in hockey.”* — Junior, on Matt McLaren’s Stars bit (~00:05:19)
• *”You know how it works on this station. Everybody takes turns up on the high horse. We all get a chance to ride.”* — Junior, on the Fort Hood discussion (~00:08:00)
• *”Well, the most exciting thing you’ve ever done is gone to an Oklahoma football game.”* — Bob Sturm to Corby, when cornered (~00:07:12)

—

3-Paragraph Summary

This final portion of the November 8, 2025 Musers opened with the tail end of a Marge Schwimdiddler character bit — a recurring absurdist Gordo creation — in which Marge attempted to persuade someone named Monty to let her move in, with comedic and mildly raunchy results. The centerpiece of this block was the Emergency Break of the Week, hosted by Junior (Craig Miller) with Monty filling in for the absent George Dunham. Three candidates were presented: George’s inexplicable, sustained giggle fit during football picks with P1 Wesley; Matt McLaren accidentally describing the Dallas Stars as “backed up” rather than “banged up” and the resulting constipation riff; and Bob Sturm’s oddly enthusiastic reaction to learning that co-host Lando (Kevin Landrum) had been on Fort Hood during the 2009 mass shooting, calling it “awesome” before pivoting to attack Corby when pressed.

The E-Break voting segment was lively and featured an array of regular bit callers — Coco the sign-language gorilla, a fake Stephen Jones, an AI Natalie Maynes, a Norm/Pat Summerall impersonator, and beloved recurring caller Brady Tom — along with some real voters. The consensus landed heavily on George, whose giggle fit won him his 112th Emergency Break of the Week title. Junior noted that this extends George’s lead over Gordo for second place on the all-time E-Break leaderboard, behind the all-time leader Norm. The banter around the voting was characteristically chaotic and funny, with Junior maintaining dry order throughout as backup host.

The show closed with The Ramp, the Musers’ traditional end-of-show musical send-off, this week dedicated to a listener named Seth Erskine. The custom song described Seth as a “Colt Superfan” — though his team allegiance humorously toggled between the Indianapolis Colts and the Las Vegas Raiders repeatedly throughout the song’s long runtime, suggesting either genuine confusion about Seth’s loyalties or a playful jab at a fan whose fandom may be in flux. It was a fitting, lighthearted close to a show that, in this portion, leaned heavily into character comedy and internal Ticket lore.

---

Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.