The Musers — 2025-12-21
The Musers — 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Sunday, December 21, 2025
📋 Segments This Day
- P-Dog Mad Dog The Musers 12122025
- E-Brake The Musers 12122025
- Observation Deck The Musers 12122025
🎙️ Early Show Analysis
Here is the analysis of this portion of The Musers from 2025-12-21:
—
Segments Appeared
- P-Dog / Mad Dog (00:00:00–00:07:30 approx.): The Musers played their annual Christmas tradition — recordings made by P1 Kevin’s children, Patrick (“P-Dawg”) and Madison (“Mad-Dawg”), who wrote and recorded original Christmas songs as young children (circa 2005). The hosts played three songs: *Oh, Hear Them* (P-Dawg), *I Woke You Up* (Mad-Dawg), and *Robot Santa* (P-Dawg). The hosts provided running commentary throughout.
- E-Brake (00:00:00–00:03:00 approx. in its segment): The weekly E-Brake of the Week segment, sponsored by Service Experts and Advanced Hair Restoration. Three candidates were presented for listener voting (888-787-1310), with the stated theme being “funny noises and a word slip.” Only Candidate #1 was included in this transcript portion — a new, bizarre laugh from Dave (Davey Lane of The Hard Line), described as a “bird call laugh,” which stopped down his show mid-broadcast.
—
E-Brake Segment
- The E-Brake theme this week was “funny noises and a word slip.”
- Candidate #1: Dave Lane (The Hard Line) debuted a new strange laugh mid-show — described by the hosts as a “bird call laugh” or “clown laugh.” It stopped his show cold. The clip was played multiple times. Dave attributed it to feeling sick.
- The intro montage for the E-Brake also featured a clip of a host (apparently one of the Musers) saying “smoke filled the cock—” before catching himself, clarifying it was “cockpit,” a two-syllable word.
—
Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable Quotes
- [00:01:15 approx.] George introduced P-Dawg’s father Kevin with this backstory: *”Patrick’s own father says that whereas Madison was born with musical talent, Patrick never let that stop him.”* — a great deadpan line.
- [00:03:13] Gordo noted that P-Dawg’s song *Oh, Hear Them* felt like it belonged in *a Christmas horror movie*, and George agreed: *”This is like an evil clown. This is what’s going on inside his mind.”*
- [00:03:52] George commented on the song: *”This makes me want to drive off with a high five.”*
- [00:04:16] George remarked: *”His own voice doesn’t blend with itself.”*
- [00:04:30] Gordo made a Bird Dogs crack: *”Being a member of the Bird Dogs, he’s still playing with a five-year-old lead singer, for the most part.”*
- [00:00:51 in E-Brake] The “smoke filled the cock—” slip from a host, followed by him insisting: *”Once again, that is a two-syllable word. It’s cockpit.”*
- [00:02:00 in E-Brake] During the Hard Line clip, someone guesses that the person being discussed (Bob Lovell) is *”that MMA guy with the little stripe on his head”* — drawing a Chuck Liddell suggestion — completely derailing the conversation.
—
Recurring Bits, Characters, or Inside Jokes Referenced
- P-Dawg and Mad-Dawg Christmas songs — a long-running annual Musers Christmas tradition, described as having started around 2005. The hosts noted the kids used to hate when the songs were played but now embrace it.
- The Bird Dogs — George Dunham’s real-life band, referenced as the connection that brought P1 Kevin (the kids’ father) into the hosts’ orbit. Gordo ribbed George that Kevin joining the Bird Dogs was like a *Lost*-style connection (“We met this way”).
- Robot Santa — described as the “official song of the Muser’s holiday season,” written by P-Dawg in first grade. Gordo noted his prescience: *”He was ahead of his time. Look at the world we live in today — robots delivering food.”*
- Jeff Crilly and hypotheticals — a brief aside in the E-Brake segment about Jeff Crilly from Channel 4 stealing the Ticket’s hypotheticals and making them bad (e.g., “Would you sleep with Heather Locklear for a million dollars?”). The hosts complained his hypotheticals had no stakes.
- Dave’s famous old laugh drop — referenced as an existing bit before introducing his new “bird call” laugh as an E-Brake candidate.
—
3-Paragraph Summary
This portion of the December 21, 2025 Musers served as the show’s final broadcast before Christmas break, and the hosts leaned fully into holiday tradition. The main event was the annual playing of the P-Dawg and Mad-Dawg Christmas songs — recordings made around 2005 by P1 Kevin’s young children, Patrick and Madison. George narrated the backstory while the hosts played all three songs: Patrick’s chaotic *Oh, Hear Them*, Madison’s genuinely catchy *I Woke You Up*, and the beloved *Robot Santa*, written by Patrick in first grade. The hosts provided gleeful commentary throughout, marveling at the strangeness of the songs and celebrating them as genuine Christmas classics in the Ticket universe.
The E-Brake segment followed, with the week’s theme centered on funny noises and an odd word slip. The intro montage highlighted a moment where a host nearly said something inappropriate while describing a plane cockpit, and the first E-Brake candidate featured Hard Line co-host Dave Lane debuting a bizarre new “bird call” laugh that stopped his show dead. Dave’s clip was played multiple times to the delight of the Musers, with Dave explaining he had been feeling sick. The segment was sponsored by Service Experts and Advanced Hair Restoration, with voting open at 888-787-1310.
Overall, the tone of this portion was celebratory and loose — exactly what you’d expect from a last-show-before-Christmas broadcast. The hosts were clearly in good spirits, leaning on beloved recurring bits (the P-Dog/Mad Dog songs, Robot Santa, Bird Dogs jokes) and enjoying the E-Brake chaos. There were no sports topics or serious discussions in this portion; it was entirely dedicated to holiday fun and the kind of inside-Ticket-culture humor that defines the Musers’ identity with their long-time P1 audience.
⏰ Mid-Show Analysis
I’ll analyze this transcript carefully.
—
Segments in This Portion
- E-Brake (~00:03:01 in E-Brake segment): The recurring bit where hosts and staff compete for the most embarrassing audio blooper. Three candidates were presented and listeners called in to vote. The winner was announced.
- Observation Deck (~00:00:00 in Observation Deck segment): Gordo-led discussion about Christmas music, going through Billboard’s top 25 Christmas songs of all time.
—
Observation Deck
- Topic: Christmas music and Billboard’s top 25 Christmas songs of all time
- George noted he rarely listens to Christmas music anymore and finds the same rotation of songs to be “water torture” after years of repetition
- He mentioned that it’s extremely difficult for new Christmas songs to break into the established canon
- Referenced Robert Walonsky’s Christmas music show as an exception that plays obscure songs
- Songs discussed from the Billboard list (bottom of top 25 going upward):
- #25: Burl Ives, “Holly Jolly Christmas” (1964) — George noted Ives was the snowman narrator in the Rudolph/Frosty claymation specials; said he’s now “punchy” hearing it
- #24: Stevie Wonder, “What Christmas Means to Me” (1967) — positive reaction
- #23: NSYNC, “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays” (1998) — said he can still listen to it despite boy bands creeping him out
- #22: Eartha Kitt, “Santa Baby” (1953) — George said he hates it, noted the irony that “Baby It’s Cold Outside” gets criticized as creepy while “Santa Baby” (which he characterized as overtly sexually transactional) never does
- #21: John Lennon, “Happy Xmas (War Is Over)” — mixed reaction; George said it’s “one of the worst deals we’ve ever had” but acknowledged it’s okay; noted Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime” ranked #27 and was worse, criticizing its keyboards going out of sync
- #20: Chuck Berry, “Run Rudolph Run” (1958) — both hosts said they love it
- #19: Bobby Helms, “Jingle Bell Rock” (1957) — segment cuts off mid-discussion
—
Were There Any Phone Callers?
Yes, multiple callers during the E-Brake segment voting:
- First caller voted for “Bob’s mouth queef” (Bob’s Daffy Duck sound)
- A caller named Brady Tom voted for Dave (candidate #1)
- “Coco” — a recurring comedic caller doing a character voice, claiming to be calling from heaven alongside recently deceased people including Tom Hicks, voting for “Sylvester Daffy Duck” (candidate #2); George called him “my new favorite caller”
- A caller named Greg invited Gordo (but explicitly not George) to a “very well-to-do Christmas party” along with “Daryl Razor Ray,” then voted for candidate #3; George mock-complained about being excluded
- Cruz and “Coach Jimmy B” voted for Dave’s new laugh (#1) and shouted out “Santa’s a big old hog”
- A caller said “I don’t want no Bob or no George on my front porch” and voted for #1
- A caller said he was going to miss the hosts during the holiday break, then went on a tangent about not washing his feet well enough the previous week and getting athlete’s foot — George cut him off
- “Elvis Andrews” voted for #1
- A caller asked what the choices were again; another voice said “you’d learn to die,” which George told not to say right before Christmas
- A caller answered “Greg Nettles and Chris Chambliss” — George said no and hung up
- A caller said he was giving his pick to another P1 — George called him drunk
- A caller (doing a Trump-with-a-cold impression) called candidate #3 (Gordon’s “early birding”) “the most perfect E-Brake ever” and “most brilliant,” then won the segment for Gordon
—
Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, or Memorable One-Liners
- The three E-Brake candidates were all genuinely funny audio bloopers:
- Dave’s new bizarre sick laugh (~00:03:01) — described as sounding like a sound drop inserted into the broadcast
- Bob turning into “Daffy Duck just for a second” on air during White Elephant Day, saying “I don’t know what just happened there” immediately after (~00:03:51)
- George mispronouncing “boarding” as “early birding” in an American Airlines ad read, then cracking himself up on air (~00:05:33–00:06:09)
- George played the isolate of Bob’s Daffy Duck moment twice for the audience
- The “Coco” caller doing a comedic character voice claiming Tom Hicks (deceased Dallas sports owner) can’t bring his “very rich money cash” to heaven, and voting for “Sylvester Daffy Duck” (~00:08:06–00:08:57)
- Caller inviting only Gordo to a party and explicitly excluding George (~00:09:10)
- George’s observation that “Santa Baby” is more overtly inappropriate than “Baby It’s Cold Outside” but never gets put on the creepy list (~00:03:25–00:03:47 in Observation Deck)
- George’s critique of Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime” keyboard going “so far out of sync” it makes you “feel all dizzy” (~00:04:52–00:05:12 in Observation Deck)
—
E-Brake Winner
- Gordon’s “early birding” candidate #3 won, giving him 24 total E-Brake wins — now only 11 behind “Johnny E-Brake” Craig Rosengarten’s record of 115 (~00:13:01)
—
Notable Debates or Host Disagreements
- Minor playful disagreement about whether Chuck Berry’s “Run Rudolph Run” is heard frequently on Christmas radio — George said he hardly ever hears it, another host said he hears it all the time
—
Pop Culture, Music, or Non-Sports Topics
- Extended Christmas music discussion in the Observation Deck covering Billboard’s top 25 list, touching on Burl Ives, Stevie Wonder, NSYNC, Eartha Kitt, John Lennon, Paul McCartney, Chuck Berry, and Bobby Helms
- Brief mention of the Rudolph/Frosty claymation Christmas specials — George said he recently watched Frosty with his daughter
- The “Bob Lovell/Lavelle” tease at the start and end of the E-Brake — Dave was about to tell a story about someone named Bob Lovell being ordered to pay something, but it kept getting interrupted; one host guessed Chuck Liddell — the story was never completed in this transcript
—
3-Paragraph Summary
This portion of The Musers opens with the E-Brake segment, the show’s recurring competition for the most embarrassing on-air audio blooper. Three candidates were in the running: Dave’s strange new sick laugh (described as sounding like an inserted sound drop), a production staffer named Bob momentarily turning into Daffy Duck mid-broadcast during a White Elephant Day show and saying “I don’t know what just happened there,” and George accidentally saying “early birding” instead of “early boarding” in an American Airlines ad read and then laughing at himself on air. A parade of listener callers phoned in to vote, including a memorable recurring character called “Coco” doing a voice from “lower heaven” alongside recently deceased Tom Hicks, and a caller who invited only Gordo — not George — to a Christmas party. In the end, George’s “early birding” gaffe was declared the winner after a caller doing a Trump impression called it “the most perfect E-Brake ever.”
The Observation Deck segment, led by George and sponsored by TimeLocked, centered on a Billboard staff-selected ranking of the top 100 Christmas songs of all time, with the hosts working through numbers 25 down to about 19. George opened by expressing genuine amazement — and some fatigue — at how Christmas music radio consistently pulls strong ratings year after year with essentially the same short rotation of songs, noting it’s nearly impossible for new music to break into the established canon. He praised Robert Walonsky’s Christmas music show as a rare exception. Going through the list, standout moments included George’s strong dislike of Eartha Kitt’s “Santa Baby” and his pointed observation that it’s far more sexually transactional than “Baby It’s Cold Outside” yet never gets called creepy, as well as his harsh critique of Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime” for its keyboards falling out of sync toward the end of the song.
Throughout both segments, the show had a loose, festive, end-of-year energy. The E-Brake phone bank produced an unusually colorful collection of callers, including one who went on an unprompted tangent about athlete’s foot and another who simply answered “Greg Nettles and Chris Chambliss” when asked who won. A running side story about a person named “Bob Lovell” that Dave kept trying to share was repeatedly interrupted and never resolved within this portion of the transcript. George’s E-Brake win brought his career total to 24, leaving him 11 behind the all-time record holder “Johnny E-Brake” Craig Rosengarten’s 115.
🏁 Final Hour Analysis
Analysis: The Musers — Observation Deck Segment (2025-12-21)
—
Segments in This Portion
- Observation Deck / Billboard’s Top Christmas Songs of All Time (~00:05:41–00:17:03): Gordo leads the hosts through Billboard’s ranked list of the greatest Christmas songs of all time, counting down from #18 into the Top 10, with hosts reacting to each entry along the way.
—
Top 10 / Ranked List Segment
This was the centerpiece of the segment — Billboard’s Top Christmas Songs of All Time, as presented by Gordo. Songs mentioned (in order from #18 down to #1):
- #18 — “Christmas Wrapping” – The Waitresses
- #17 — “River” – Joni Mitchell (1971)
- #16 — “Little Saint Nick” – The Beach Boys (1963)
- #15 — “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” – Judy Garland (1944)
- #14 — “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” – Andy Williams
- #13 — “Santa Tell Me” – Ariana Grande (2014)
- #12 — “Blue Christmas” – Elvis Presley (1957)
- #11 — “Christmas Time Is Here” – Vince Guaraldi Trio (1965, from *A Charlie Brown Christmas*)
- #10 — “This Christmas” – Donny Hathaway (1970)
- #9 — “Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town” – Bruce Springsteen (1982)
- #8 — “Christmas in Hollis” – Run-D.M.C.
- #7 — “Feliz Navidad” – José Feliciano
- #6 — “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” – Brenda Lee
- #5 — “White Christmas” – Bing Crosby (1947)
- #4 — “Last Christmas” – Wham!
- #3 — “The Christmas Song” – Nat King Cole
- #2 — “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” – Darlene Love
- #1 — “All I Want for Christmas Is You” – Mariah Carey (1994)
Gordo drove the list; George, Junior (Craig Miller), and at least one other host (likely Donovan) reacted throughout.
—
Funny Moments and Memorable Gordo Bits
- [00:07:47] On Elvis’s “Blue Christmas” backup singers: *”I don’t understand dying geese in the background… Obviously, they were doing a funny prank in the studio with the backup singers, and they forgot to pot them down in the final mix.”*
- [00:08:27–00:08:37] On the Vince Guaraldi “Christmas Time Is Here” being depressing: *”While you’re sitting on the floor slumped up against the sheet rock, you got a tumbler of bourbon, and you got the gun in your mouth… Vomited at least three times.”* — one of the darkest/funniest comedic images of the segment.
- [00:10:26] On Bruce Springsteen’s “Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town,” someone (likely Gordo) quipped: *”Excuse me, can we start again? I had an accident in my blue jeans.”*
- [00:11:08–00:11:16] On “Feliz Navidad”: *”Well, you guys are not quite as multicultural as I am. I’ve bagged on all these white Christmas songs.”* — followed by *”What makes them white Christmas songs?”* / *”By white artists.”*
- [00:12:10–00:13:28] Extended mockery of Wham!’s “Last Christmas” lyrics: *”Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day you threw it away… Why did the person wait a day? If they didn’t want that guy’s heart, you would just get rid of it right away… It’s dumb. It’s one of the worst songs ever.”*
- [00:15:29–00:15:33] On Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You” topping the list: *”I’ve called it one of the worst deals we’ve ever had. I think that is the problem with humanity, and it’s the reason why I root for global warming.”*
- [00:16:26–00:16:27] Gordo’s practical take on Mariah: *”It makes her six million a year. She needs to distance from it.”*
—
Strong Opinions / Bold Takes
- [00:15:29] Gordo calling Mariah Carey’s #1 ranking *”the problem with humanity”* and saying it makes him *”root for global warming.”*
- [00:13:06] Gordo on “Last Christmas”: *”It’s one of the worst songs ever. And for some reason, it’s a classic.”*
- [00:16:58–00:17:02] Gordo on “All I Want for Christmas Is You” being *”so musically uninteresting”* — while another host (likely Junior) pushed back saying it’s genuinely good if you heard it fresh.
- One host noted U2’s version of “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” is better than Darlene Love’s original — and another agreed. [00:14:01–00:14:09]
—
How the Show Wrapped Up
The segment ended at [00:17:03] with Junior (Craig Miller) thanking Gordo — *”Okay, that’s a good list. Thank you, Gordo”* — suggesting this was the closing bit of the show or the segment. No explicit preview of upcoming content was given in this portion.
—
Notable Quotes
- *”While you’re sitting on the floor slumped up against the sheet rock, you got a tumbler of bourbon, and you got the gun in your mouth.”* — Gordo on the Vince Guaraldi tune [00:08:27]
- *”It’s the song that tears this show apart every single Christmas.”* — Gordo on “Last Christmas” [00:12:21]
- *”I think that is the problem with humanity, and it’s the reason why I root for global warming.”* — Gordo on Mariah Carey’s #1 ranking [00:15:33]
—
Three-Paragraph Summary
This final portion of the December 21st Musers show consisted entirely of Gordo walking the hosts through Billboard’s ranked list of the greatest Christmas songs of all time, beginning at #18 and counting down to #1. The segment was a lively mix of genuine appreciation and sharp comedic commentary, with Gordo serving as ringmaster and the other hosts reacting in real time. Highlights from the list included enthusiastic endorsements of Donny Hathaway’s “This Christmas,” Nat King Cole’s “The Christmas Song,” and the Vince Guaraldi Trio’s “Christmas Time Is Here” — though Gordo undercut the latter with an absurdist bit about it being the perfect soundtrack for a person in existential despair on the floor with a gun and a tumbler of bourbon.
The list generated its share of debate and jokes. Gordo was openly disdainful of Elvis’s “Blue Christmas” backup singers (“dying geese”), dismissive of Wham!’s “Last Christmas” lyrics (“dumbest lyrics I’ve ever seen”), and broadly unimpressed with the cheesy 80s keyboard production of that era. There was also a brief cultural detour when Gordo noted he’d been “bagging on white Christmas songs,” prompting an amused challenge from a co-host about what exactly makes a Christmas song “white.” The segment also featured a nod to the show’s own Christmas party (“next Wednesday at the Bartonville store”), and a fun moment where hosts tried and failed to guess Billboard’s #1 pick, throwing out classics like “White Christmas,” “Silent Night,” “Little Drummer Boy,” and even “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.”
The reveal of Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You” as Billboard’s #1 Christmas song of all time was met with the segment’s biggest comedic fireworks, with Gordo declaring it “the problem with humanity” and the reason he roots for global warming, while conceding she earns $6 million a year from it. A co-host pushed back mildly, noting it’s genuinely a good song that’s simply been overplayed, and that the film *Love Actually* helped cement its status. The segment closed warmly with Junior thanking Gordo for the list — a fitting, light-hearted end to the show just days before Christmas.
Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.
