The Musers — 2026-03-04

The Musers — 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Wednesday, March 4, 2026

📋 Segments This Day

• Observation Deck
• The Old 97s Fake Jerry Avery Johnson Michael Irvin and Nico Harrison
• Old 97s
• The Old 97s Fake Jerry Avery Johnson Michael Irvin and Nico Harrison
• Observation Deck
• Old 97s

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🎙️ Early Show Analysis

Here is the analysis of this portion of The Musers from 2026-03-04:

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Segments Appearing in This Portion

• Observation Deck [00:00:00–00:14:52]: Gordo’s recurring morning segment covering current events and oddities. This edition covered the ongoing Nancy Guthrie kidnapping case and a lighthearted story about gene-edited popcorn-scented tomatoes.
• The Old 97s / Fake Jerry / Avery Johnson / Michael Irvin / Nico Harrison [00:00:00–00:06:39]: The Dallas band The Old 97s visited the studio while a documentary crew filmed them. The segment included a comedic bit in which Gordo played “Fake Jerry Jones,” and various other character voices (Michael Irvin, Avery Johnson, Wade Phillips, Rick Skinner) joined in a mock halftime show audition performing a loose parody of Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time.”

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Sports Topics Discussed

• The Cowboys came up in the context of the Fake Jerry bit, with a joke that Jerry keeps choosing Post Malone for Thanksgiving halftime shows over other options, and a line sung in character: “We lose Super Bowl chances, time after time.”
• Avery Johnson was referenced as a character in the halftime show parody, though this appears to be a comedic cameo rather than a substantive discussion of his role (likely referencing his position with the Mavericks).
• Nico Harrison was named in the segment title, though no substantive discussion of him appeared in the transcript provided.

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Debates or Strong Opinions Expressed

• At [00:01:30–00:06:30], there was a lively back-and-forth about whether Nancy Guthrie is still alive. Craig flatly stated he does not believe she is alive, noting no ransom demand has been issued and blood was found at the scene. Gordo pushed back, defending the Pima County Sheriff’s statement that he personally believes she is alive. George and Craig ribbed Gordo for dismissing the sheriff’s faith-based optimism, while Gordo insisted he was merely reporting the quote.
• A minor recurring tension surfaced about Gordo being “singled out” on air, with Craig noting he never gets called out the way Gordo does.

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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable Quotes

• Gordo speculated aloud that the kidnapper could technically claim the Guthrie family’s $1 million reward since the family said “no questions asked” for the return of Nancy — calling it a darkly absurd loophole [00:01:25–00:01:36].
• Gordo noted the kidnapper’s doorbell cam failure: grabbing flowers from a flower bed to try to block the camera, calling it “like a cheap comedy sketch” [00:02:52–00:02:57].
• Gordo delivered a vivid story about watching a sewage treatment documentary and seeing tomato seeds sprouting from black sludge as the only thing to survive the process, which led to a riff on tombstone epitaphs [00:13:44–00:14:37]:
• Craig: “I want that on your tombstone — ‘I was creeped out by tomatoes.'”
• Gordo: “And us buried right next to each other… The first one says he’s creeped out by tomatoes, the second one says ‘I’m fine with tomatoes.'”
• George’s blunt reason for not doing ancestry DNA: “I don’t want the Mormons to have my personal information” [00:09:28–00:09:31], prompting a tangent about the Mormon Church’s historical dominance of genealogy records.
• The Fake Jerry halftime audition bit was the comedic centerpiece of the second segment, with Gordo’s Jerry Jones voice inserting Cowboys-themed lyrics into “Time After Time,” including the line “We lose Super Bowl chances, time after time” [00:04:55–00:05:01].
• Fake Jerry’s verdict after the Old 97s’ performance: “No, I’m going Post Malone again” [00:05:15].
• The Old 97s’ lead singer Rhett noted the documentary crew in the room looked visibly confused, and Murray joked he was going to have to pay massive music clearance fees for “Time After Time” [00:06:13–00:06:17].

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Guests or Interviews

• The Old 97s were in studio — members identified as Rhett, Murray, Ken, and Phillip. They are described as having a documentary in production, a new album in the works, and an upcoming tour including:
• A secret show on March 23rd (filming-related)
• A full show May 29th at Legacy Hall in Plano, TX
• The band members described themselves as P1 listeners of The Ticket — “all to a man, except for Murray.”
• At the close of the segment, George congratulated Rhett on a podcast called Wheels Off [00:06:39].

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Recurring Bits, Characters, or Inside Jokes Referenced

• Fake Jerry Jones: Gordo’s recurring character impersonating Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, complete with Jerry’s verbal tics (“tremendous positivity,” “I’m not promising you nothing here”) [00:00:29–00:01:14 of second segment].
• Fake Michael Irvin: Referenced in the halftime show parody, with Irvin’s catchphrase “Playmaker” inserted into the lyrics [00:01:53–00:01:54].
• Fake Avery Johnson: Referenced in character during the song, with the line “It’s Avery, Avery” sung near the end, and Fake Jerry asking “Why is Avery here?” [00:04:42–00:04:48].
• Fake Wade Phillips / Rick Skinner: Also named as participants in the mock halftime show bit [00:05:25–00:05:30 of second segment].
• “I’m fine with tomatoes”: Instantly canonized as a mock tombstone epitaph for Craig, playing on his understated delivery.
• The Observation Deck is a named recurring segment sponsored by Tylock George Eye Care and Generator Supercenter.
• P1: The Ticket’s term for loyal listeners, used by the Old 97s to describe themselves.
• Danny White was mentioned as the hosts’ “favorite athlete of all time” who happens to be Mormon, used to deflect George’s concern about Mormon data collection.

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Summary

The first segment, the Observation Deck, opened with a serious discussion of the Nancy Guthrie kidnapping case — Savannah Guthrie’s mother, missing for nearly two months. Gordo walked through the latest details: the $1 million “no questions asked” reward offered by the family, investigator claims of progress, and an analysis of the kidnapper’s apparent mistakes, including being surprised by a doorbell camera and exposing DNA through facial hair and breathing. The hosts debated whether Nancy is still alive, with Craig bleakly concluding she is not given the absence of any ransom demand, while Gordo defended the Pima County Sheriff’s faith-based optimism. The segment ended on a lighter note with a story about Chinese scientists accidentally creating gene-edited tomatoes that smell like popcorn, which spiraled into a memorable bit about tombstone epitaphs and tomato seeds surviving sewage treatment plants.

The second segment featured a full in-studio visit from Dallas alt-country legends The Old 97s — Rhett, Murray, Ken, and Phillip — who were accompanied by a documentary film crew. The visit produced one of the show’s more elaborate comedy bits: Gordo’s Fake Jerry Jones entered the studio to audition the band for a hypothetical Cowboys Thanksgiving halftime show, with other Gordo characters including Fake Michael Irvin, Fake Avery Johnson, and Fake Rick Skinner joining in a chaotic, affectionate parody of Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time.” The lyrics were rewritten to include Cowboys-themed laments, most memorably “We lose Super Bowl chances, time after time.” After the performance, Fake Jerry rejected the band in favor of Post Malone — again.

The real Old 97s took the absurdity in good stride, noting that the documentary crew present looked visibly baffled, and that clearing the rights to “Time After Time” would be enormously expensive. The band confirmed upcoming shows — a secret documentary filming show on March 23rd and a full Legacy Hall concert in Plano on May 29th — and expressed genuine affection for The Ticket, calling themselves P1s to a man (except Murray). George closed by congratulating Rhett on his podcast, *Wheels Off*, capping a segment that blended genuine band promotion with quintessential Ticket silliness.

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⏰ Mid-Show Analysis

Here is the analysis of this portion of The Musers transcript:

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Segments in This Portion

• Old 97s (starts ~00:00:00 in first segment): The Dallas alt-country/Americana band — Rhett Miller, Murray Hammond, Ken Bethea, and Phillip Peeples — joined the Musers in studio. They discussed their 33-year run as original members, a documentary being filmed about the making of their new album, their upcoming East Coast tour, the 30th anniversary of *Too Far to Care*, and their Lifetime Achievement Award from the Americana Music Association. They performed “Big Brown Eyes” live in studio.

• The Old 97s / Fake Jerry / Avery Johnson / Michael Irvin / Nico Harrison (second segment): A comedic continuation of the Old 97s visit, featuring Gordo doing a “Fake Jerry Jones” impression who arrived to audition the band for the Cowboys’ Thanksgiving halftime show. The bit involved the Old 97s and various fake Dallas Cowboys figures (Avery Johnson, Michael Irvin, Rick Skkinner/Wade Phillips references) performing Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time.” Fake Jerry ultimately passed on the Old 97s in favor of Post Malone again.

• Observation Deck (Gordo segment, starts ~00:00:00 in third segment): Gordo discussed the ongoing Nancy Guthrie kidnapping case (mother of NBC’s Savannah Guthrie), including the $1,000,000 reward offered by the family, the competence level of the kidnapper, forensic details, and the status of the investigation.

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Observation Deck Segment

• Gordo observed/discussed the Nancy Guthrie kidnapping case, now entering its second month:
• The Guthrie family has offered a $1,000,000 reward — notably worded as “no questions asked” for the return of Nancy, meaning theoretically even the kidnapper could claim it
• Gordo raised the question of whether the kidnapper would dare risk coming forward to claim the reward
• An expert analysis was discussed: the kidnapper initially seemed sophisticated but revealed themselves as not very sophisticated when caught on doorbell camera footage trying to cover the camera with flowers from the flower bed — described as “like a cheap comedy sketch”
• The doorbell cam footage revealed a wrist tattoo, exposed facial hair (a potential DNA source), and the fact that he was unmasked inside the house for 41 minutes, meaning he was breathing out DNA the entire time
• Gordo noted experts believe this was likely an extortion plot targeting an elderly person — apparently more common than people realize
• Investigators have not been able to identify a car captured on a security camera two miles away around the time Nancy’s pacemaker last synced with her iPhone

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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable One-Liners

• The “Fake Jerry Jones” bit was the comedic centerpiece of the second segment. Gordo’s Jerry voice announced he wanted to audition the Old 97s for the Cowboys’ Thanksgiving halftime show, calling them “the old 90s” and referencing “record albums and cassettes” and “the Red Kettlebell campaign” (~00:00:29–01:06)
• The Old 97s and various Musers/fake Cowboys figures performed “Time After Time” by Cyndi Lauper in a hilariously fragmented group singalong, with Fake Jerry interjecting “Why is Avery here?” (~00:04:45) and adding the Cowboys-specific lyric: *”We lose Super Bowl chances, time after time”* (~00:04:56)
• After the performance, Fake Jerry rejected the Old 97s for the halftime show: *”No, I’m going Post Malone again.”* (~00:05:15)
• George noted the imagined halftime show lineup: *”Old 97s with Rick Skinner, Avery Johnson, Wade Phillips, Michael Irvin”* — and said he’d watch it (~00:05:25–00:05:31)
• Gordo broke character briefly: *”Mainly because of the end of my career, but also because of the song. It’s been a good ride.”* (~00:05:37–00:05:40)
• Rhett Miller quipped about the documentary crew: *”All I can see is the director going, ‘How am I going to get clearance for Time After Time? I’m going to have to pay so much money for this.'”* (~00:06:13–00:06:19)
• Ken Bethea’s story about playing “Beast of Burden” at the Ticket Time Wasters jam — George had told him it was in the key of A, and Ken never played the minor chord but said *”nobody noticed because I am a professional and I didn’t play any chords”* (~00:07:09)
• Rhett Miller joked about the Americana Lifetime Achievement Award: *”My first thought was, so are we obligated to stop now?”* (~00:05:01)
• Colonoscopy count discussion: the band collectively tallied colonoscopies, with Rhett noting a Cologuard box counts as “and a half” (~00:13:02–00:13:07)
• Gordo on the kidnapping: *”Do you guys ever do that, sit around evaluating kidnappers? No.”* (~00:01:43–00:01:44)

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Guests or Special Visitors

• The Old 97s — Rhett Miller, Murray Hammond, Ken Bethea, and Phillip Peeples — were in studio as guests, performing live and being interviewed. A documentary film crew was also present with them.
• Fake Jerry Jones (Gordo in character) made a comedic appearance in the second segment.

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Pop Culture, Music, and Non-Sports Topics

• Extended discussion of the Old 97s’ career: their origin story, the relationships between band members, genre classification (alt-country vs. Americana), their labelmates in the ’90s including Third Eye Blind (“where are they now?”), and influences including Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash, The Kinks, Cheap Trick, and The Ramones
• Rhett mentioned singing backup with Steve Earle at the Americana Music Awards all-star jam (~00:05:30–00:05:40 in first segment)
• Rhett Miller referenced Robin Hitchcock asking him about alt-country (~00:03:59)
• The band performed “Big Brown Eyes” from *Too Far to Care* live in studio
• Discussion of the music industry: streaming/file-sharing making it difficult to debut unreleased songs, and touring as the primary revenue model (~00:01:40–00:01:48 in first segment)
• Rhett has a podcast called “Wheels Off” — George congratulated him on it and joked about not suing him for the name (~00:06:38–00:06:45)
• The Nancy Guthrie kidnapping case (covered in Observation Deck, see above)
• Cologuard colonoscopy screening discussed briefly/humorously (~00:13:02)

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3-Paragraph Summary

This portion of the show was headlined by a lively in-studio visit from Dallas Americana institution the Old 97s — Rhett Miller, Murray Hammond, Ken Bethea, and Phillip Peeples. The band discussed their remarkable 33-year run as original members, a documentary film crew currently following them during the recording of a new album, and an upcoming East Coast tour. They reflected on genre labels, musical influences, and receiving a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Americana Music Association. The segment included a warm, tight live performance of “Big Brown Eyes” from *Too Far to Care* — the 30th anniversary of which the band will celebrate at a filmed secret show at Sons of Herman Hall on March 23rd. There were also laughs over Ken Bethea’s story of barely surviving the Ticket Time Wasters charity jam by simply not playing the minor chord in “Beast of Burden.”

The second segment escalated into one of the show’s signature comedic set pieces: Gordo’s “Fake Jerry Jones” arrived in studio to audition the Old 97s for the Cowboys’ Thanksgiving halftime show. The bit featured the band and various Musers performing a fragmented, chaotic version of Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time,” with cameo voice appearances from fake Cowboys-connected figures including Avery Johnson, Michael Irvin, and Wade Phillips. The performance climaxed with Fake Jerry inserting the Cowboys-specific lyric *”We lose Super Bowl chances, time after time”* — before ultimately rejecting the Old 97s in favor of Post Malone again. The Old 97s were good sports throughout, with Rhett observing that the documentary crew looked utterly confused about how to get music clearance for what just happened.

The Observation Deck segment shifted the tone considerably, with Gordo leading a detailed and serious discussion of the Nancy Guthrie kidnapping case, now more than a month old. Gordo walked through new developments including the Guthrie family’s $1,000,000 reward — worded as “no questions asked” for Nancy’s return — and examined forensic analysis suggesting the kidnapper, while initially appearing sophisticated, made numerous mistakes: trying to cover a doorbell camera with flowers, exposing a wrist tattoo, leaving his face uncovered for 41 minutes (potentially shedding DNA), and being surprised by the presence of a security camera at all. Gordo also noted investigators are working to identify a car spotted near the Guthrie home around the time her pacemaker last synced with her iPhone, with the prevailing theory being that this was an extortion plot targeting an elderly person.

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🏁 Final Hour Analysis

Analysis: The Musers — 2026-03-04 (Final Portion)

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Segments That Appeared

• Observation Deck (~00:05:30–00:14:52): Gordo leads a wide-ranging discussion covering the Nancy Guthrie kidnapping case (evidence, DNA, the Pima County Sheriff’s hopeful statement), a tangent about Mormon genealogy databases and 23andMe, and a “pick-me-up” story about Chinese scientists accidentally gene-editing tomatoes to smell like popcorn, which spiraled into a funny group debate about tomatoes.

• Old 97s (00:00:00–00:13:24): The full Old 97s band — Rhett Miller, Murray Hammond, Ken Bethea, and Philip Peeples — join the Musers in studio. The segment covers the band’s documentary being filmed, their upcoming East Coast tour, a discussion of their genre identity (alt-country/Americana), their Lifetime Achievement Award from the Americana Music Awards, Ken Bethea’s story about playing with the Ticket Time Wasters, and a live in-studio performance of “Big Brown Eyes” from *Too Far to Care*.

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Sports Topics Discussed

• Ken Bethea’s cameo with the Ticket Time Wasters charity band was mentioned (~00:05:44 in Old 97s segment), including a humorous account of him fumbling through “Beast of Burden” with George Dunham.

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Funny Moments or Memorable Gordo Bits

• [~00:07:00–00:08:00, Observation Deck] After Gordo reported that the Pima County Sheriff said “I personally believe Nancy Guthrie is alive — that’s just who I am,” Gordo drily noted, “He took a moment to tell us who he is,” leading to an extended bit where one host accused the other of “pronouncing her dead” and the two bickered about who singled out whom.

• [~00:09:00–00:14:00, Observation Deck] The popcorn-tomato story became a long, absurdist riff. Craig’s deadpan “I’m fine with tomatoes” was immediately seized on by Gordo: *”I want that on his tombstone — ‘I’m fine with tomatoes’ — Craig Miller.”* This led to a bit about their tombstones being side by side, one reading “I was creeped out by tomatoes” and the other “I’m fine with tomatoes.”

• [~00:13:00, Observation Deck] Gordo recounted watching a documentary on a sewage treatment plant where tomato seeds were the only thing that survived the sludge process, genuinely creeping out the group and capping the tomato discussion perfectly.

• [~00:06:00–00:07:30, Old 97s] Ken Bethea’s story about playing “Beast of Burden” with the Time Wasters was a highlight — he admitted George told him it was in the key of A, he was skeptical, walked on stage, avoided playing the minor chord entirely, and declared proudly: *”Nobody noticed — because I am a professional — and I didn’t play any chords.”*

• [~00:12:50–00:13:20, Old 97s] One host asked the band how many colonoscopies they’ve collectively had. Rhett Miller noted “and a half, because of a Cologuard I guess,” which then spiraled into a riff about Cologuard commercials anthropomorphizing the box.

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How the Show Wrapped Up / Preview of Upcoming Segments

• [~00:13:23, Old 97s] George teased the next segment with: *”You guys don’t go anywhere — because coming up next, a certain local NFL owner may be interested in hiring you,”* suggesting a playful bit connecting the Old 97s to a Dallas Cowboys storyline was immediately ahead.

• The Old 97s were also plugged for an upcoming filmed event at Sons of Herman Hall on the 23rd/24th of the month, where they’ll perform *Too Far to Care* in its entirety for the 30th anniversary, for the documentary crew.

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Notable Quotes or Moments

• Gordo on the Sheriff: *”He took a moment to tell us who he is.”*
• Craig: *”I’m fine with tomatoes.”* / Gordo: *”I want that on his tombstone.”*
• Rhett Miller on the Lifetime Achievement Award: *”My first thought was — so are we obligated to stop now?”*
• Ken Bethea: *”I am a professional and I didn’t play any chords.”*
• Rhett on still touring after 33 years: *”We feel pretty lucky. It’s crazy. We still do this job.”*

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Three-Paragraph Summary

The final portion of this Musers broadcast begins with the tail end of the Observation Deck, where Gordo walks through updates on the Nancy Guthrie kidnapping case — noting the lack of ransom demands, inconclusive DNA evidence, and the Pima County Sheriff’s faith-based optimism that she is still alive. The segment quickly turns comedic as the hosts argue about who “pronounced her dead” earlier in the show, followed by a detour into Mormon genealogy databases before Gordo pivots to his “pick-me-up” story: Chinese scientists accidentally gene-editing tomatoes to smell like popcorn. This spawns an extended, beloved Gordo bit about tombstone epitaphs, sewage plants, and the proper number of tomato slices on a burger, wrapping up the Observation Deck on a characteristically absurdist note.

The Old 97s segment is a warm, substantive in-studio visit with all four original members — Rhett Miller, Murray Hammond, Ken Bethea, and Philip Peeples — who are in Dallas for pre-production on a new album while a documentary crew films their process. The conversation covers the band’s 33-year run with the same four members, their genre-defying Americana identity, their recent Lifetime Achievement Award (presented by Roseanne Cash, with Rhett getting to sing backup with John Fogerty at the ceremony), and the economics of modern touring versus album sales. There are genuine parallels drawn between the band’s longevity and The Ticket’s own three-decade run with the same core hosts, giving the segment a reflective, celebratory tone.

The segment’s comic highlight comes from Ken Bethea’s account of playing “Beast of Burden” with the Ticket Time Wasters charity band — a confession that he avoided playing the minor chord entirely and “didn’t play any chords” for much of the song, declaring it a professional success. The band then performed a tight, well-received live rendition of “Big Brown Eyes” from *Too Far to Care* in studio, with the hosts clearly delighted to have front-row seats. The segment closed with a plug for the Sons of Herman Hall documentary show and a teaser that the Old 97s would stick around for a bit involving “a certain local NFL owner” — almost certainly a Cowboys-related gag — keeping the energy high heading into the next segment.

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Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.