The Musers — 2024-11-23
The Musers — 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Saturday, November 23, 2024
📋 Segments This Day
- Crankshaft the Turkey
- E-Brake
🎙️ Early Show Analysis
Segments in this portion:
- Crankshaft the Turkey [00:00:00-05:44]: A Gordo comedy bit featuring an interview with “Crankshaft,” a turkey hoping to receive Biden’s traditional Thanksgiving pardon. The turkey character reveals he was involved in January 6th and is currently in prison.
- E-Brake [00:00:01-01:08]: Beginning of the weekly segment featuring radio bloopers, with an incomplete tribute to Cowboys broadcaster Brad Sham that cuts off mid-sentence.
Sports topics discussed:
- Cowboys: Brief mention of Trey Lance getting a chance since “this season’s a write-off” [00:03:54-04:00]
- Cowboys media: Reference to David Moore as Cowboys beat reporter [00:05:21-00:29] and Brad Sham as longtime Cowboys radio voice in E-Brake segment
Funny moments, Gordo bits, or memorable quotes:
- Crankshaft turkey character [00:00:00-05:44]: Gordo playing a politically controversial turkey worried Biden will forget to pardon him (“Have you seen Biden lately? Is this guy going to lift a Monday?”)
- January 6th turkey crimes: Character claims he “declared turkey sandwiches illegal” from the podium and “took a crap on AOC’s desk” [00:02:00-02:27]
- Trump turkey policies: Absurd claims that Trump “deported all turkeys to the country of Turkey because he thought we all came from there” and “pardoned a turkey but then ate it for dinner that night alongside some Mickey D’s fries” [00:04:23-04:42]
- Meta-humor: Turkey asking listeners to call White House and complimenting the hosts on their show [00:04:00-04:09, 00:05:10-05:17]
Recurring bits, characters, or inside jokes referenced:
- Ticket references: Turkey mentions “Sports Day happening” and David Moore coverage, showing knowledge of station programming [00:05:10-05:29]
- JFK assassination reference: Turkey notes it’s November 22nd and mentions “Oswald” as an inside reference [00:03:21-03:32]
Summary:
This portion opens with a classic Gordo comedy bit featuring “Crankshaft the Turkey,” who calls in hoping to receive President Biden’s traditional Thanksgiving pardon. The character is brilliantly crafted as a politically charged turkey who participated in the January 6th Capitol riots, complete with absurd details like declaring turkey sandwiches illegal and defecating on AOC’s desk. The bit showcases Gordo’s trademark political satire, taking shots at both Biden’s mental acuity and Trump’s incompetence through the lens of turkey pardoning traditions.
The turkey character expresses genuine concern that Biden might forget to pardon him due to his apparent cognitive decline, while also worrying that his January 6th involvement might disqualify him. Gordo weaves in increasingly ridiculous claims about previous presidential turkey policies, including Trump deporting all turkeys to the country of Turkey due to geographical confusion and later eating a pardoned turkey with McDonald’s fries. The bit maintains perfect internal logic while becoming progressively more absurd.
The segment concludes with meta-humor as Crankshaft compliments the hosts and asks listeners to call the White House, before transitioning to the E-Brake segment featuring a technical malfunction during what appears to be a tribute to longtime Cowboys broadcaster Brad Sham. The combination demonstrates The Ticket’s signature blend of sports talk, political satire, and technical mishaps that define the station’s irreverent style.
⏰ Mid-Show Analysis
Segments in this portion:
- E-Brake of the Week voting segment (00:01:12 onwards) – listeners vote on which host made the biggest on-air mistake
Phone callers:
- 00:08:05: Caller votes for Craig for E-Brake
- 00:08:19: Caller (“Triple Fake Tiger”) votes for Gordon Keith for E-Brake
Funny moments, Gordo bits, or memorable one-liners:
- 00:01:12-00:03:42: Matt Birmingham (Ham) botches a Line 4 Guy joke delivery twice, including an ill-timed rim shot that becomes his E-Brake nomination
- 00:04:23-00:06:17: Gordon deliberately creates chaos during a technical cross-talk segment with another show by making fake connection sounds and pretending his mic is cutting out
- 00:07:13: Gordon makes a confusing joke about football players “trying to pound the snapper” that even he admits doesn’t make sense afterwards
Sports topics discussed:
- 00:06:28: Discussion of Chicago Bears filing a complaint with the NFL about their deep snapper getting hit illegally during a blocked field goal against Green Bay
Notable debates or host disagreements:
- 00:04:52-00:06:16: George argues with Gordon about Gordon deliberately sabotaging the cross-talk segment, with George trying to maintain professionalism while Gordon embraces chaos
This portion of The Musers centers around their weekly E-Brake segment, where listeners vote on which host made the biggest on-air mistake. The three nominees showcase the different personalities on the show: Matt Birmingham’s technical fumbling of a listener joke request, Gordon’s intentional chaos during a cross-talk segment, and Craig’s confusing double entendre about football snappers.
The segment highlights the show’s self-aware humor and willingness to mock their own mistakes. George’s frustration with Gordon’s deliberate sabotage of the cross-talk creates genuine tension, illustrating the dynamic between George’s desire for smooth radio and Gordon’s preference for controlled chaos. The technical difficulties and miscommunications become content themselves.
The voting process engages listeners directly in the show’s internal culture, with callers using show-specific terminology and references. Gordon’s nonsensical “pounding the snapper” joke exemplifies his sometimes-absurdist humor that doesn’t always land but becomes funny in its very failure, demonstrating how The Musers turn even their unsuccessful moments into entertainment.
🏁 Final Hour Analysis
Segments in this portion:
- E-Brake (8:32-13:48) — A voting segment where listeners call in to vote for which host had the best “e-brake” moment, with phone-in voting from the audience
Phone callers:
- Brady Tom (8:43) — Voted for Craig, mentioning “pounding some snappers”
- Cousin Ricky (9:44) — Claimed to be George’s cousin calling from jail, voted for Lee Harvey Oswald (noting it was November 22nd, JFK assassination anniversary)
- Coach O (10:13) — Called Gordo a bad broadcaster while ironically voting for him, mentioned being unemployed and wanting to be the “third Muser”
- Caller voting for Gordon (10:51) — Praised Craig’s joke but voted for Gordon
- Another Gordon voter (10:59)
- Ed Carter (11:08) — Apparently dropped an expletive and was cut off
- Jamie Benn impersonator (11:26) — Generic hockey player impression, rambled without actually voting before being cut off
Funny moments or memorable Gordo bits:
- The “Cousin Ricky” caller claiming George never bails him out of jail and complaining about “boney sandwiches”
- Lee Harvey Oswald vote on November 22nd (JFK assassination anniversary)
- Coach O simultaneously insulting Gordo while voting for him
- Jamie Benn impersonator who rambled endlessly without voting, causing frustration
- Technical difficulties during what appeared to be a remote broadcast attempt
How the show wrapped up:
- Gordo wins E-Brake (12:11) — Described as an “upset win”
- E-Brake statistics revealed (13:28) — Gordo’s 104th win, still 33 behind all-time leader Norman “Snapper” Hitzges, and 3 behind George
- Show ended with technical difficulties during an attempted remote connection
Notable quotes:
- “Ladies and gentlemen, we have ourselves a winner. I think an upset win, but Gordo has won it.” (12:11)
- “Norm hasn’t worked here in, what, 15 years now? And I still haven’t caught up with him?” (13:39)
- “I swear to God, Gordo, stop it! I’m dying to establish contact with them!” (13:10)
Summary:
The final portion of The Musers consisted entirely of the E-Brake segment, where listeners called in to vote for the best on-air mistake or funny moment from the hosts. The voting featured a colorful cast of callers, including someone claiming to be George’s jailed cousin Ricky, an unemployed Coach O who insulted Gordo while voting for him, and a rambling Jamie Benn impersonator who frustrated the hosts by never actually casting a vote.
Gordon Keith emerged as the surprising winner of the E-Brake, marking his 104th victory in the segment’s history. Despite this impressive tally, he still trails the all-time leader Norman “Snapper” Hitzges by 33 wins, even though Hitzges hasn’t worked at the station in about 15 years. The achievement also put Gordo within three wins of surpassing George Dunham’s total.
The show concluded with technical difficulties as the hosts attempted to connect with a remote broadcast, leading to confusion and intermittent audio problems. The segment showcased the typical Ticket blend of listener interaction, statistical tracking of on-air moments, and the kind of technical chaos that often becomes content itself on the station.
Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.
