The Musers — 2025-11-02

The Musers — 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Sunday, November 2, 2025

📋 Segments This Day

• Fake Nolan Ryan The Musers 10292025
• Observation Deck The Musers 10292025
• Elmer Wayne The Musers 10282025
• Fake Jerry The Musers 10272025
• Observation Deck The Musers 10272025

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🎙️ Early Show Analysis

Analysis: The Musers — Fake Nolan Ryan & Observation Deck Segments (10/29/2025)

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Segments in This Portion

• Fake Nolan Ryan [00:00:00]: A comedic bit in which Gordo performs as a fake version of Texas Rangers legend Nolan Ryan, called in to discuss the World Series. The character is cantankerous, self-aggrandizing, still bitter about former Rangers GM Jon Daniels, and ends up recounting an elaborate, absurdist story about being called by the government to hunt down escaped “herpes monkeys” from an overturned transport truck in Mississippi.

• Observation Deck [00:00:00 of second segment]: Gordo’s regular commentary segment covering trending news and cultural observations. Topics included AI replacing workers at Amazon, AI “brain rot” and gambling addiction research, and most popular Halloween costumes for 2025.

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Sports Topics Discussed

• World Series [Fake Nolan Ryan segment]: The hosts note the Series is tied 2-2, with the Blue Jays beating Shohei Ohtani and the Dodgers the night prior after an 18-inning loss. Ohtani’s pitching performance (hitting 99 mph, going 6 innings) is discussed.
• Texas Rangers: Fake Nolan Ryan expresses joy that the Rangers are not in the World Series, still holding a grudge against former GM Jon Daniels, saying “the stink of John Daniels permeates the halls of the Texas Rangers.”

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Debates or Strong Opinions Expressed

• Shohei Ohtani vs. Nolan Ryan: Fake Nolan Ryan dismisses Ohtani’s two-way ability, calling the hitting “just a parlor trick,” and claims he used to throw 197–199 mph (“before they really calibrated the guns”). George/Craig push back mildly, noting Ohtani’s four extra-base hits in one game.
• AI and jobs [Observation Deck]: Gordo argues that trades like plumbing and electrical work will become the highest-paying, most coveted jobs as AI displaces tech and white-collar workers, with DeVry Institute potentially becoming “the new Harvard and Yale.” Craig seems more skeptical or dismissive, suggesting new jobs will replace displaced ones as they always have.

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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable Quotes

• The entire Fake Nolan Ryan bit is the centerpiece comedic segment. Highlights include:
• Fake Nolan claiming he used to pitch “12, 13, 15 innings, whatever it took”
• Claiming he threw 197–199 mph “before they really calibrated the guns” [~00:01:55]
• The government shining “the Ryan Express symbol into the sky” to summon him to wrangle escaped monkeys [~00:05:00]
• Riding an unsaddled Palomino to Mississippi and war-painting his face with river mud “in a long slow-motion montage” [~00:05:14]
• Killing one monkey with a crossbow bolt while it tried to clean a carburetor with a can of “Harriman’s B-12” [~00:05:49]
• Killing another monkey with a “sharpened mammoth tusk that I carry on me at all times” while the monkey was occupied with a Pekingese-poodle hybrid [~00:06:19]
• The final monkey getting the upper hand, leading to a 20–30 minute “highly choreographed street fight” involving parkour and stop-motion shots [~00:07:20]
• The monkey nobly grabbing a grenade and running over a hill to sacrifice himself — “so me and my loincloth could fight another day” [~00:07:54]
• Fake Nolan giving a heartfelt “shout-out to Herpes Monkey” for the sacrifice [~00:08:08]

• Observation Deck jokes:
• Gordo jokes about the AWS outage: it “crippled us all because we couldn’t scroll while ignoring our families” [~00:00:25]
• Discussion of robot plumbers leads to jokes about giving robots Southern accents and butt cracks [~00:02:24]
• Gordo teases the Musers podcast, saying George “invented beer enemas” and “gets into his history with beer enemas” [~00:04:26]
• Gordo mocks haughty restaurant menus for listing food sourcing, pivoting awkwardly to Halloween costumes [~00:04:56]

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Recurring Bits, Characters, or Inside Jokes Referenced

• Fake Nolan Ryan: A recurring Gordo character — a fictional, exaggerated version of Nolan Ryan who is vain, grudge-holding, and prone to wild tall tales. The Jon Daniels grudge is a running element of the character.
• The Musers Podcast: Referenced as having just dropped that morning, with George apparently making gambling-related confessions [~00:04:10].
• Observation Deck: Gordo’s regular segment, sponsored here by Tyler George IP.

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Summary

This portion of the October 29, 2025 Musers opens with one of Gordo’s most elaborately constructed recurring comedy bits — Fake Nolan Ryan calling in to discuss the World Series. The character, voiced by Gordo, is immediately recognizable: self-obsessed, dismissive of Shohei Ohtani (“just a parlor trick”), and still bitterly holding a grudge against former Rangers GM Jon Daniels even though he’s long gone. The baseball conversation quickly gives way to the real centerpiece — Fake Nolan describing how the government summoned him via the “Ryan Express symbol” to hunt down escaped, disease-carrying monkeys in Mississippi, an escalating absurdist adventure involving crossbow bolts, mammoth tusks, parkour knife fights, and a self-sacrificing monkey that earns Fake Nolan’s tearful respect.

The second segment, the Observation Deck, finds Gordo in his more grounded commentary mode, touching on real-world AI news — specifically Amazon’s replacement of DevOps workers with AI shortly before a major AWS outage, and research from Texas A&M, UT Austin, and Purdue showing that AI models suffer “brain rot” and gambling addiction when trained on low-quality data. Gordo uses these stories to float the theory that plumbers and electricians will become the new elite earners as AI displaces tech workers, a point met with gentle skepticism from the other hosts. The segment also includes a teaser for the Musers podcast and a loosely organized rundown of top Halloween costumes, led by characters from what appears to be a K-pop/demon-hunter movie or series.

Overall, this portion is a strong showcase of the show’s dual identity: the Fake Nolan Ryan segment is pure Gordo — wildly creative, lovingly absurd, and built on a foundation of local sports lore — while the Observation Deck reflects the show’s habit of engaging seriously (if irreverently) with cultural and technological trends. The interplay between Gordo’s comedic flights and George and Craig’s more grounded reactions gives both segments their rhythm, with the hosts never fully playing along but never fully breaking from the bit either.

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⏰ Mid-Show Analysis

Segments in This Portion

• Observation Deck (10/29/2025): A roundup of popular Halloween costume and makeup trends, with hosts riffing on cultural touchstones old and new.
• Elmer Wayne (10/28/2025): A recurring comedic bit featuring a fake caller — “Elmer Wayne from Van Zandt County” — who claims to be George Dunham’s cousin and spins an increasingly absurd story about his Halloween party, a marital affair, rabies, and a requested brain transplant.
• Fake Jerry (10/27/2025): A “Jerry Jones” parody call-in segment, discussing the Cowboys’ blowout loss to Denver (44-24) and Jerry’s state of mind afterward.

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Observation Deck Segment

• Aired as part of the 10/29/2025 show
• Topics discussed included the most-searched Halloween costumes and makeup looks:
• Labubu (monster/doll hybrid from K-pop/toy culture) topped the list [00:07:28]
• Nightwing from DC Comics [00:07:45]
• Hamilton characters — hosts expressed surprise people are still dressing as them [00:07:47]
• Donnie Darko — noted as making a resurgence with younger generations [00:07:52]
• Toothless and other *How to Train Your Dragon* characters (Astrid, Hiccup) [00:08:05–00:08:28]
• KISS makeup — named the #1 most-searched Halloween makeup look [00:08:37]
• Elphaba from *Wicked* — noted as very popular the previous year too [00:09:40]
• Wednesday Addams, Taylor Swift / Eras Tour, Barbie, SpongeBob, Beetlejuice, cyberpunk aesthetic, classic horror icons (Jason, Freddy, Pinhead) [00:10:00–00:10:44]
• Pope Leo with a White Sox hat suggested as a timely/cheap costume option [00:10:28]
• Hosts discussed whether Ace Frehley’s death prompted renewed KISS costume interest [00:08:47]
• One host recalled a childhood friend who dressed as Peter Criss multiple years in a row [00:09:07]
• Discussion of KISS replacement members (the Fox character, etc.) and Gene/Paul’s decision to put new members in original costumes [00:09:18–00:09:39]
• Gordo expressed enthusiasm for Winona Ryder’s goth look in *Beetlejuice 2*, declared himself a lifelong fan of “any generic Cure fan” type [00:11:17–00:11:44]

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Sports Topics Discussed

• Cowboys vs. Broncos (Monday Night, Cowboys lost 44-24) — addressed in the Fake Jerry segment [00:00:06]
• Defense described as having taken a “huge step back to junior high school football” [00:01:29]
• “Fake Jerry” mentions wanting to trade the entire defense to Green Bay to get Micah Parsons back [00:01:14]
• World Series briefly mentioned as having occurred the prior night [00:00:04]
• College and pro football, and girls high school flag football mentioned as recent topics on the show [00:00:00–00:00:08]

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Notable Debates or Host Disagreements

• George firmly and repeatedly denied being related to “Elmer Wayne,” rejecting all claims of shared history (blowing up cows, private conversations, wearing a white robe) [throughout Elmer Wayne segment]
• George pushed back when another host joined in Elmer Wayne’s brain transplant gag: *”Hey, stop joining him.”* [00:06:33]

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Phone Callers

• Elmer Wayne from Van Zandt County [00:00:14] — A recurring comedic character (not a real caller). Claimed to be George’s cousin. Highlights of his call:
• Invited George to be grand marshal of the “Dunham Family Halloween Carnival,” featuring deeply offensive activities (Tijuana donkey shows, shooting apples off heads, breaking into a nursing home as homicidal clowns to steal medication — dubbed “Bobbing for Oxycontin”) [00:01:44–00:02:36]
• Confessed to an extramarital affair with a woman named Roxanne — described in increasingly graphic and absurdist detail [00:02:58–00:04:09]
• His wife Ruth Ann caught him, chased him up a tree with a shotgun for a week, during which he contracted “a slight dash of rabies” from a raccoon [00:04:37–00:05:06]
• Ruth Ann lured him down with a glass of water (exploiting his hydrophobia) then beat him with an Elin Nordegren signature 7-iron [00:05:10]
• Was placed on life support, then taken off — but “kept going” because he enjoyed not having to expend energy breathing [00:05:33–00:05:43]
• Claimed he needed a brain transplant, currently using a “temporary external pig left hemisphere” that lets him “find a chuffer from 38 miles away but can’t do long division” [00:06:07–00:06:17]
• Asked George to donate half his brain [00:05:57–00:06:31]
• Signed off by inviting George to wear his “white robe and wizard hat” as grand marshal [00:06:53]

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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable One-Liners

• *”When you’re horny, red flags look like Six Flags”* — attributed by Elmer Wayne to George [00:04:15]
• *”She had the genital warts from navel to toe. Had the Confederate flag tattooed across her chest… Robert E. Lee’s face on each breast.”* — Elmer Wayne describing his mistress [00:03:57–00:04:09]
• The pig hemisphere line: *”I can find a chuffer from 38 miles away, but I can’t do long division.”* [00:06:13–00:06:17]
• Elmer Wayne enjoying life support: *”I didn’t have to expend any energy breathing or heart beating, none.”* [00:05:38–00:05:42]
• Fake Jerry: *”I was so passed out drunk after the game, I was declared luggage on our flight home — and that’s on my own private jet.”* [00:00:54–00:01:03]
• Fake Jerry on his disappointment: *”56 years ago, there was a doctor that looked me in the eye and said he had never seen a more disappointed man, especially in a labor and delivery setting… That was the guy that delivered Jerry Jr., by the way.”* [00:00:28–00:00:42]
• Gordo on *Beetlejuice 2*: *”Give me any generic Cure fan. I was on that.”* [00:11:42]

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Pop Culture, Music, and Non-Sports Topics

• Extensive Halloween costume trend discussion (see Observation Deck above)
• KISS — history of band members, replacement members, Ace Frehley’s death mentioned [00:08:47–00:09:39]
• Donnie Darko — noted as having a resurgence with Gen Z [00:07:52]
• Beetlejuice 2 — hosts discussed the film; George hadn’t seen it; Gordo praised Winona Ryder’s goth aesthetic [00:10:59–00:11:44]
• Hamilton — hosts mildly surprised it’s still a costume trend [00:07:47]
• How to Train Your Dragon franchise costumes discussed [00:08:05–00:08:29]

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Summary

This portion of The Musers covers three distinct segments from late October 2025. The Observation Deck segment serves as a lighthearted Halloween send-off, with the hosts cataloguing trending costumes and makeup looks — from Labubu and Nightwing to KISS face paint and Elphaba green — and riffing on cultural staying power, Ace Frehley’s death, and Gordo’s well-documented weakness for goth girls and Cure fans. The tone is loose and conversational, a familiar Musers mode of wandering through pop culture with mild bewilderment and occasional genuine enthusiasm.

The Elmer Wayne segment is a showcase piece of Ticket comedic craft — a slow-burn, escalating absurdist monologue disguised as a caller bit. The character piles indignity upon indignity: a toothless meth-addled mistress with Confederate tattoos, a week treed at gunpoint, raccoon-induced rabies, an Elin Nordegren 7-iron beating, and a pig brain hemisphere — all while George Dunham plays the straight man with increasingly strained dignity, repeatedly insisting he has no familial or personal connection to this man whatsoever. The segment ends with Elmer Wayne inviting George to show up in a white robe and wizard hat, which George shuts down immediately.

The Fake Jerry segment, though brief in this transcript, captures the Cowboys’ miserable Monday after a 44-24 drubbing in Denver. “Jerry” is despondent, drunk, and delusional — lamenting his defense’s regression to “junior high school football” and proposing to trade the entire defensive roster back to Green Bay for Micah Parsons. It’s a sharp, efficient parody that doubles as real Cowboys commentary, leaning into the franchise’s familiar narrative of high expectations and spectacular underperformance.

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🏁 Final Hour Analysis

Analysis: The Musers — Final Portion (2025-11-02)

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Segments in This Portion

• Fake Jerry (~00:01:32–00:06:09): A recurring comedy bit in which Gordo performs as a fictional, buffoonish version of Cowboys owner Jerry Jones. “Jerry” reacts to the Cowboys’ loss in Denver, commenting on Dak Prescott’s performance, Brandon Aubrey’s field goal potential, DeMarvian Overshown’s return, and Trevon Diggs’ reliability issues. George plays the straight man throughout.

• Observation Deck (00:00:00–00:12:46): Gordo’s regular solo-ish segment where he shares casual, often absurdist observations from watching the Cowboys-Broncos game. Topics included stadium orientation, Tony Romo’s appearance and broadcasting habits, Denver’s throwback jerseys, Sean Payton aging, George Pickens’ dual mouthpieces, a rookie’s first NFL touchdown, referee language, a Jim Nantz audio clip, and Brian Schottenheimer’s early reputation.

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Sports Topics Discussed

• Cowboys vs. Broncos loss: The central topic of both segments. Dallas was dominated defensively, and the offense struggled.
• Dak Prescott: Fake Jerry expressed disappointment over his two interceptions and failure to justify his contract. [Fake Jerry, ~00:02:18]
• Brandon Aubrey: Discussion of his elite field goal range and whether the Cowboys should have deployed him more aggressively in Denver’s altitude. [Fake Jerry, ~00:02:57–00:03:55]
• DeMarvian Overshown: Fake Jerry expressed eagerness for his return to help the Cowboys’ struggling defense and to distract from the Micah Parsons trade. [Fake Jerry, ~00:04:08]
• Trevon Diggs: Described as unpredictable and unreliable, compared to “a crypto altcoin.” [Fake Jerry, ~00:05:40]
• Denver winning the coin toss: Gordo mused on why teams elect to receive and whether stadium orientation matters. [Observation Deck, ~00:00:15]
• Tony Romo: Observations on his appearance (recently shaved), his habit of stopping mid-sentence while broadcasting, his raspy voice, and comparison to Kevin Harlan’s work. [Observation Deck, ~00:02:00–00:02:16]
• Denver’s throwback jerseys: George liked them; Gordo found the orange painful on his eyes. [Observation Deck, ~00:02:22–00:02:48]
• Sean Payton: Both hosts noted he looks significantly older than when he was a Cowboys assistant. [Observation Deck, ~00:04:08–00:04:52]
• George Pickens: Observations on his white cowl, his double mouthpiece habit (pink and yellow), and his quirky first-down celebration described as “stirring a glass of tea and then playing peekaboo.” [Observation Deck, ~00:05:11–00:06:36]
• Pat Bryant (Denver rookie): Gordo noted his spectacular first NFL touchdown catch and expressed sentimental disappointment that Bryant threw the ball away rather than keeping it. [Observation Deck, ~00:07:23–00:08:50]
• Referee language: A clip of a ref saying a fumble was “recovered by a teammate of the fumbling player” was played and mocked as oddly formal. [Observation Deck, ~00:09:09–00:09:50]
• Jim Nantz audio clip: A clip of Nantz saying Javonte Williams “felt the love of Shotty” during recruitment was played and found creepy/funny. [Observation Deck, ~00:09:54–00:10:25]
• Brian Schottenheimer: Gordo questioned whether calling him a “great head coach” after less than a season is premature; George defended the praise as relative to low expectations and strong early performance. [Observation Deck, ~00:11:02–00:12:33]

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Strong Predictions or Bold Takes

• Gordo (as Fake Jerry) argued the Cowboys should have Brandon Aubrey attempt field goals on *every* offensive possession regardless of field position, claiming it would yield 30 points per game. Played for comedy but reflects genuine admiration for Aubrey’s leg. [Fake Jerry, ~00:03:02–00:03:55]
• Gordo pushed back on the media narrative that Schottenheimer is already a “great NFL head coach,” calling it premature after less than one season. [Observation Deck, ~00:11:02]

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Funny Moments and Memorable Gordo Bits

• Fake Jerry’s airport story [~00:01:38]: Gordo-as-Jerry compared the Broncos’ dominance of the Cowboys defense to a graphic sexual encounter with “Kate Agent” at Little Rock International Airport 28 years ago, involving a Koala Kare changing station being ripped from the wall and activating a Dyson Airblade. George’s reaction: “That’s a lot of bingos in there.”
• Fake Jerry’s medical treatments for Overshown [~00:04:13]: “We’re doing magnets, cryotherapy, regular therapy, Freudian therapy, every kind of therapy… placing leeches all over his buttcheeks.”
• Fake Jerry’s obscene gesture [~00:04:55]: Jerry clarifies he didn’t flip anyone off — he made the “index finger poking in and out of the closed fist” gesture at a Broncos cheerleader, then adds “I think I may get fined for that.”
• Trevon Diggs as a “crypto altcoin” [~00:05:40]: A sharp, funny line from Fake Jerry about Diggs’ unreliability.
• Referee clip mockery [~00:09:21–00:09:50]: George and Gordo riff on the ref’s phrasing — “recovered by a teammate of the fumbling player” — reworking it as “recovered by the fumbler’s friend,” “recovered by a Cowboys employee.”
• Jim Nantz “felt the love of Shotty” [~00:10:12–00:11:00]: Gordo finds the clip extra creepy because it’s Nantz saying it, then mimes Schottenheimer “slowly putting his hand on his leg” during recruiting. George: “No other coaches done this before.”
• Sean Payton aging [~00:04:28–00:04:52]: Gordo compares Payton’s current appearance to “older Oswald” (Lee Harvey Oswald), then walks it back to “older Cabbage Patch doll.”
• Gordo’s dark mode tangent [~00:03:05–00:03:43]: Gordo goes on an extended aside about how dark mode on computers physically hurts his eyes, joking it may qualify as a disability that earns him a Costco parking placard.
• George Pickens’ mouthpiece speculation [~00:05:34–00:06:16]: Gordo wonders if Pickens uses different mouthpieces for different route types as a tactical signal, before settling on “Louis Vuitton mouth collar” as the real explanation.

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How the Show Wrapped Up

The Observation Deck ended somewhat abruptly with a brief exchange about a planned segment:

• George mentioned “8:40 tomorrow” — seemingly referencing a scheduled guest or segment.
• Gordo flatly said “No, no — canceled. Canceled.”
• George: “All right, then.”

No formal signoff or preview of upcoming content was given. [~00:12:43–00:12:46]

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Notable Quotes

• *”That giant pile of money I’m paying him ought to make him suck far less against them good defenses.”* — Gordo as Fake Jerry, on Dak Prescott [~00:02:33]
• *”The most important ability is availability. But with Trevon, our big buzzword has been predictability — as in, can we predict what this lunatic will come up with so he can’t play next week?”* — Gordo as Fake Jerry [~00:05:26]
• *”He’s about as reliable as a crypto altcoin right now.”* — Gordo as Fake Jerry on Trevon Diggs [~00:05:40]
• *”He felt the love of Shotty.”* — Jim Nantz audio clip, played and mocked [~00:10:00]
• *”It was recovered by a teammate of the fumbling player.”* — Referee audio clip, mocked as absurdly formal [~00:09:21]
• *”Okay boomer.”* — George, directed at Gordo after he complained about the orange in Denver’s throwback jerseys [~00:03:47]

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Three-Paragraph Summary

This final portion of The Musers opens with the Fake Jerry segment, in which Gordo channels a hilariously oblivious and crude version of Cowboys owner Jerry Jones reacting to Dallas’s lopsided loss to Denver. The bit hits its usual marks — Gordo’s “Jerry” delivers an unprintable anecdote about airport sex to describe the defense getting dominated, lobbies for Brandon Aubrey to kick field goals on every single play regardless of field position, boasts about applying leeches to DeMarvian Overshown’s recovery, makes an obscene gesture at a Broncos cheerleader, and compares Trevon Diggs to a volatile cryptocurrency. George plays the patient, bemused straight man throughout, and the segment closes with Fake Jerry offering hollow reassurances to Cowboys fans that next week will be better “because we can’t do a whole lot worse.”

The Observation Deck then gives Gordo free rein to share casual, meandering observations from watching the game. These range from the genuinely analytical (why Denver elected to receive, stadium east-west orientation) to the purely whimsical (Gordo’s eyes physically hurting from Denver’s orange throwback jerseys, his inability to use dark mode on computers, wondering if George Pickens uses two mouthpieces for tactical signaling or simply as a fashion flex). Along the way, both hosts note that Tony Romo has aged and developed a habit of stopping mid-sentence on air, and that Sean Payton — once youthful-looking as a Cowboys assistant — now resembles an “older Cabbage Patch doll.” Gordo plays two audio clips: a referee awkwardly describing a fumble recovery as being made by “a teammate of the fumbling player,” and Jim Nantz saying Javonte Williams “felt the love of Shotty,” which Gordo finds deeply unsettling coming from Nantz’s voice specifically.

The segment closes with a substantive mini-debate about whether Brian Schottenheimer deserves to be called a “great NFL head coach” after less than a season on the job. Gordo argues the label is premature and that words like “likable” or “off to a great start” are available and more accurate, while George contends that Schottenheimer has genuinely exceeded the very low expectations set by a poor coaching hire landscape. The show ends with a quick, unexplained cancellation of a planned 8:40 segment the following day, and no formal closing — just George saying “All right, then” as the segment cuts off.

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Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.