The Musers — 2025-11-13

The Musers — 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Thursday, November 13, 2025

📋 Segments This Day

• Fake Jason Kidd
• Observation Deck
• Fake Jason Kidd
• Observation Deck

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🎙️ Early Show Analysis

Here is the analysis of this portion of The Musers transcript:

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Segments Appearing in This Portion

• Fake Jason Kidd [00:00:00]: A comedic bit in which Gordo performs an impression of Mavericks head coach Jason Kidd being “interviewed” by the Musers. The segment riffs on the recent firing of GM Nico Harrison and the Mavericks’ 3-8 start, but quickly devolves into absurdist tangents about coffin fasteners, rear-view cameras, gold hardness on the Mohs scale, and exotic dancers.
• Observation Deck [00:00:00 of next segment]: Gordo’s regular observational/commentary segment, sponsored by Tyler George. This edition covers the recent aurora borealis (northern lights) event visible as far south as Azle, TX, touching on coronal mass ejections, light pollution, dark sky certified locations in Texas, and the hosts’ personal experiences seeing stars in dark locations like Namibia, Sedona, and West Texas.

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Sports Topics Discussed

• Mavericks: The firing of GM Nico Harrison is the framing topic for the Fake Jason Kidd segment. The Mavericks’ poor 3-8 start to the season is mentioned as potentially contributing to Harrison’s dismissal. The team’s broader struggles after reaching the NBA Finals are also referenced.

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Debates or Strong Opinions Expressed

• In the Observation Deck segment, Gordo expresses skepticism that DFW residents could realistically see the northern lights due to severe light pollution [~00:02:11], saying “there’s no way we could see” them from the city.
• Gordo also casts doubt on a list of “certified dark sky” locations in Texas, quipping that it might be from “fake dark sky dot net” after Fredericksburg — a city he noted has gotten increasingly developed — appeared on the list [~00:04:39–00:04:52].

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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable Quotes

• The entire Fake Jason Kidd segment is the main comedic centerpiece. Highlights include:
• “Fake Kidd” taking the idiom “nail in the coffin” completely literally and debating coffin fasteners, suggesting a Torx head screw would be superior to a structural nail [~00:01:34–00:01:48].
• “Fake Kidd” describing Nico Harrison driving away in a Lexus laughing maniacally with “my plan worked” shoe-polished on the rear window [~00:00:59–00:01:08].
• Taking “don’t look back” literally and going into a tangent about reversing a 2002 Camry with a poorly retrofitted rear camera installed by “someone’s uncle” [~00:02:02–00:02:35].
• Deconstructing “all that glitters isn’t gold” by referencing the Mohs scale of hardness and pivoting to a joke about an exotic dancer using glitter [~00:02:53–00:03:38].
• Taking “rise like a phoenix from the ashes” literally by pointing out he no longer plays for Phoenix, and that entering the court through flames would grey out uniforms and cause respiratory issues [~00:03:57–00:04:28].
• Ending the segment by saying he couldn’t go “forward” because he was currently reversing with his rear camera, tying back to the earlier Camry joke [~00:04:54–00:05:02].
• In the Observation Deck, Gordo admits he is “like the worst prepper ever” — interested in the concept but never getting around to actually doing it [~00:01:01–00:01:10].
• George (or Gordo) references seeing the Milky Way for the first time in Sedona, Arizona, saying the real thing looked like the CGI photographs he had always seen.

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Recurring Bits, Characters, or Inside Jokes Referenced

• Fake Jason Kidd: This appears to be a recurring Gordo character/impression used for comedic interviews. The format — where the “coach” derails every sports cliché into a literal or absurdist tangent — is consistent with Gordo’s style of character work on The Ticket.
• Observation Deck with Gordo: A named, sponsored recurring segment on The Musers [00:00:00 of that segment].
• The Musers Podcast (“podcast of our choosing”): Gordo references a Musers podcast episode about his trip to Africa/Namibia, pointing listeners toward it [~00:02:53–00:03:03].

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Summary

This portion of The Musers opens in the middle of a broader conversation about the Dallas Mavericks firing General Manager Nico Harrison, using that news as the launching pad for Gordo’s recurring “Fake Jason Kidd” character bit. Rather than offering any genuine basketball analysis, the segment becomes a showcase of absurdist comedy as “Kidd” methodically deconstructs every sports cliché thrown at him — dissecting coffin nail fasteners, the Mohs hardness scale of gold, the practicalities of rising from literal ashes, and the logistics of backing up a 2002 Camry. George and the co-hosts play straight men throughout, with George in particular getting ribbed by “Kidd” for going “all over the place.”

Following the bit, the show transitions to the Observation Deck, Gordo’s regular commentary segment, where the topic is the aurora borealis event that was visible as far south as Azle, Texas. The hosts discuss the geomagnetic storm that accompanied the solar event, the challenge of seeing the lights from light-polluted DFW, and the concept of certified “dark sky” locations. Gordo expresses healthy skepticism about a list of Texas dark sky spots, particularly after Fredericksburg — a rapidly developing Hill Country town — appeared on it.

The segment ends on a reflective, almost philosophical note, as the hosts share personal experiences of seeing truly dark skies — Gordo in Sedona, a co-host in Namibia — and marvel at how the overwhelming density of stars visible without light pollution explains why ancient civilizations built entire mythologies around the night sky. It’s a characteristically Musers blend: absurdist comedy giving way to genuine, curious conversation.

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⏰ Mid-Show Analysis

Segments in This Portion

• Observation Deck [00:05:12–00:11:55]: A wide-ranging, loosely structured discussion covering the Aurora Borealis sighting in Azle, TX, light pollution and the ancient human experience of the night sky, flat earth conspiracy theories, moon landing denialism, and a tease for a future “birds aren’t real” segment. Ends with a brief, odd tangent about Gordo’s summer camp in Azle.
• Fake Jason Kidd [00:00:00–00:04:14]: A comedy bit in which a host (almost certainly Gordo) impersonates Dallas Mavericks head coach Jason Kidd via the “ticket hotline,” ostensibly to discuss the firing of GM Nico Harrison. The impersonation quickly devolves into absurdist deflections on idioms, coffin fastener mechanics, rear-view cameras, and the economics of glitter.

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Observation Deck Segment

• Topic: The Aurora Borealis was visible in Azle, Texas, prompting a discussion about light pollution and how people throughout history had unobstructed views of the night sky every night.
• One host reflected that modern urban dwellers typically see only about three glowing objects in the sky, versus the full celestial display available to ancient humans — framed as “their Netflix.” [00:05:12–00:05:50]
• Conversation pivoted to flat earth conspiracy theories, with a host expressing genuine bewilderment at how prevalent the movement has become and how passionately adherents defend it, despite it having no practical impact on their daily lives. [00:05:52–00:07:23]
• Moon landing denialism was discussed, with a host (likely George) citing a quote from either Neil Armstrong or Buzz Aldrin: *”If we faked the moon landings, why would we fake it six times?”* — the logic being that one fake would be sufficient risk. [00:07:23–00:08:07]
• Hosts noted it was offensive to the astronauts who risked their lives with 1960s technology to have their achievement dismissed as staged. [00:08:07–00:08:28]
• A host (likely Gordo) recalled that The Ticket previously had a flat earther from Denton in studio — brought in by one of the hosts after being spotted “in the wild.” It was then mentioned, with some sadness, that the man has since passed away. [00:09:09–00:09:45]
• Flat earth discussion was used as a jumping-off point for a broader observation about the post-fact information environment: the internet allows anyone to find endless support for any belief they want to hold. [00:09:45–00:10:08]
• Gordo teased a future segment on the “Birds Aren’t Real” movement, describing it as a deliberate troll/parody conspiracy theory whose founder has perfected the same style of unfalsifiable argumentation used by actual conspiracy theorists. [00:10:31–00:11:00]
• Segment ended with a brief, bizarre digression about George’s summer camp in Azle, involving sexually precocious fellow campers, implied inappropriate relationships with an adult counselor, and a horse named Dan. [00:11:06–00:11:55]

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Sports Topics Discussed

• Dallas Mavericks’ 3-8 start to the 2025-26 season was the framing device for the Fake Jason Kidd bit. [00:00:36–00:00:44]
• Firing of Mavericks GM Nico Harrison was the stated subject of the segment, with the show noting it had been a major topic all morning. [00:00:05–00:00:11]
• Briefly mentioned: Anthony Davis and Kyrie Irving returning healthy as a possible path back for the Mavs. [00:03:43–00:03:51]

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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable One-Liners

• The entire Fake Jason Kidd segment is the standout comedy piece. Gordo (performing as “Kidd”) systematically misinterprets every sports cliché as literal:
• “Nail in the coffin” → a detailed critique of using structural nails vs. Torx head screws to fasten a coffin lid, noting the lid won’t be “subjected to sheer tensile stress.” [00:01:39–00:01:48]
• “Don’t look back” → a lengthy tangent about backing up a 2002 Camry with a poorly retrofitted rear camera installed by “someone’s uncle.” [00:02:00–00:02:28]
• “All that glitters isn’t gold” → a riff on gold’s relatively low Mohs hardness scale ranking, its need to be alloyed with copper, and a pivot to strip club glitter economics. [00:02:53–00:03:37]
• “Rise like a phoenix from the ashes” → “I don’t play for Phoenix anymore” plus confusion about why a team would literally emerge from a fire as game presentation. [00:03:57–00:04:14]
• Nico Harrison described as driving away from the AAC in a Lexus laughing maniacally with “my plan worked” shoe-polished on the rear window. [00:00:59–00:01:08]
• Flat earth joke: *”Your dream is that the entire flat earth is populated by boy bands.”* [00:06:50–00:06:55]
• On the moon landings: *”Why would we decide six was the magic number to fake it? Because no one would suspect us of faking it that many times.”* [00:07:56–00:08:01]

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Pop Culture, Music, and Non-Sports Topics

• Aurora Borealis visible in Azle, Texas — treated as genuinely cool. [00:11:00–00:11:06]
• Boy bands — briefly mentioned as another cultural phenomenon Gordo claims to have “missed the memo” on, alongside flat earth. [00:06:37–00:06:50]
• Birds Aren’t Real — Gordo teased a future dedicated segment on the parody conspiracy movement and its founder. [00:10:31–00:11:00]
• Ancient humans and the night sky — reflective, almost philosophical musing on what the unobstructed sky must have looked like before light pollution and how religious/magical it must have seemed. [00:05:12–00:05:44]

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3-Paragraph Summary

This portion of the November 13 Musers opens mid-Observation Deck, with the hosts riffing on the Aurora Borealis sighting in nearby Azle, Texas. The conversation quickly becomes philosophical, with one host (likely Gordo) marveling at how ancient humans had the full night sky as a constant spectacle — “their Netflix” — while modern city dwellers can barely make out three glowing objects through a haze of light pollution. That wonder pivots into bewilderment at flat earth conspiracy theories and moon landing denialism, with the hosts finding both offensive and baffling. A surprisingly poignant moment arrives when it’s recalled that The Ticket once hosted a flat earther from Denton in studio, only for someone to note the man has since died. The segment closes on a lighter note, with Gordo teasing a future “Birds Aren’t Real” piece and George briefly sharing a strange memory about his summer camp in Azle involving precocious kids and an implied inappropriate relationship between a fellow camper and an adult counselor.

The second major piece is the Fake Jason Kidd call, one of Gordo’s classic character bits. Using the framing of the Mavericks’ ugly 3-8 start and the real-news firing of GM Nico Harrison, Gordo performs a faux-Kidd who is courteous but catastrophically literal — unable to process a single sports idiom without dissecting it into absurdity. The bit’s engine is Gordo finding the precise technical or logical flaw in each cliché: coffin nails should be Torx screws, “don’t look back” is dangerous advice in a Camry with a bad rear camera, gold is too soft on the Mohs scale to be a universal standard of glitter, and rising “like a Phoenix” just means you used to play for a different team. The other hosts play it relatively straight, lobbing clichés and absorbing the pedantic corrections with good humor.

Taken together, this portion is a good example of the Musers’ format at its loosest and most comedic — real sports news (the Nico Harrison firing, the Mavs’ struggles) serves mainly as a launchpad for Gordo’s creative work, while the Observation Deck wanders enjoyably from astronomy to epistemology to summer camp trauma. There are no phone callers, no guests, and no serious sports debate in this stretch; it’s essentially a comedy block dressed in sports clothing, showcasing the show’s comfort with absurdist tangents and Gordo’s ability to sustain a character bit through multiple rounds of straight-man setups.

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🏁 Final Hour Analysis

Analysis: The Musers — 2025-11-13 (Final Portion)

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Segments in This Portion

• Fake Jason Kidd (concludes around [00:04:23]–[00:05:02] in the first block): The tail end of a bit in which someone was impersonating Dallas Mavericks coach Jason Kidd. The “Kidd” character signed off with a joke about reversing his camera, a reference to a recurring gag about his backup camera. The hosts played along before breaking character.

• Observation Deck with Gordo ([00:00:00]–end): Gordo’s recurring solo/hosted segment, sponsored by Tyler George. This edition covered the Aurora Borealis being visible in parts of Texas due to a large coronal mass ejection (CME) from the sun, which spiraled into a wide-ranging conversation about dark skies, light pollution, flat earthers, moon landing conspiracy theories, and the “Birds Aren’t Real” troll movement.

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Sports Topics Discussed

• Brief closing mention of Jason Kidd and the Dallas Mavericks in the “Fake Jason Kidd” bit — though it was comedic rather than analytical.

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Funny Moments or Memorable Gordo Bits

• [00:04:56] The fake Jason Kidd closes with: *”I don’t know that I’m going forward. I’m reversing in my camera right now”* — a callback to a running gag about Kidd’s backup camera habits.

• [00:04:43] Before the sign-off, the fake Kidd drops an Ice Cube reference: *”Like I always tell you, George, you got to check yourself before you wreck yourself.”*

• [00:05:56]–[00:06:01] Gordo deadpans: *”I was reading some flat earth websites and they made some pretty good points.”* The table reacts with audible disbelief before Gordo clarifies he’s joking — though he then genuinely marvels at how widespread the movement has become.

• [00:06:37]–[00:06:50] Gordo admits he felt like he “missed a memo” on flat earth, and then on boy bands — leading to the line: *”Your dream is that the entire flat earth is populated by boy bands.”*

• [00:09:09]–[00:09:17] George recalls bringing a flat earther from Denton into the studio, then solemnly notes that the man has since passed away. Gordo responds: *”I wanted him to live a long, happy life — even if it was on a flat earth.”*

• [00:11:06]–[00:11:55] Gordo closes with a callback to a previous story about Azle, Texas — specifically a summer camp he attended as a child where kids were apparently more sexually “advanced” than him, including an implied inappropriate relationship with an adult counselor. The bit ends with Gordo saying, at age 10, he knew something was wrong but didn’t fully understand what he was witnessing.

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Any Phone Callers

None in this portion.

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Any Strong Predictions or Bold Takes

• Gordo confidently asserts ([00:02:05]–[00:02:15]) that there is *”no way”* the Aurora Borealis could be seen in Dallas-Fort Worth proper due to light pollution, even if Texas was on the official 21-state viewing list.

• Gordo suggests ([00:07:17]–[00:07:52]) the best logical rebuttal to moon landing deniers is: *”Why would we fake it six times? Why not just fake it once or twice?”* — framing repeat faking as an absurd unnecessary risk of exposure.

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How the Show Wrapped Up

The segment ended somewhat abruptly mid-conversation, with Gordo pivoting from the Aurora Borealis and flat earth discussion into the Azle summer camp anecdote. There were no explicit previews of upcoming segments or formal sign-offs captured in this transcript portion.

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Any Final Notable Quotes or Moments

• [00:09:55]–[00:10:04] Gordo offers a broader cultural observation: *”Now that we’ve moved kind of post-facts… if you want to believe something, you just can. You just double down.”* — a notably sincere moment amid the comedy.

• [00:10:31]–[00:10:59] Gordo teases a future segment: *”I’ll do some research and do a ‘Birds Aren’t Real’ segment for you”* — referencing the satirical conspiracy troll movement where its founder argues with straight-faced counterpoints that birds are government surveillance drones.

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3-Paragraph Summary

This final portion of The Musers opens with the tail end of the “Fake Jason Kidd” bit, where a Kidd impersonator closes the call with a joke about reversing his camera — a callback to a well-worn gag about the Mavericks coach — and a random “check yourself before you wreck yourself” Ice Cube quote dropped on George. It’s a light, silly finish to what was clearly a comedic segment, with the hosts playing along warmly before transitioning to the Observation Deck.

Gordo’s Observation Deck, sponsored by Tyler George, begins with a genuinely interesting news hook: a large coronal mass ejection from the sun producing Aurora Borealis displays visible as far south as Azle, Texas. The hosts discuss light pollution, certified dark sky locations in Texas (including Big Bend, Fredericksburg, and Dripping Springs), and share personal experiences seeing the night sky unpolluted by city lights — George in Sedona, Gordo in Namibia. The conversation organically expands to how the night sky must have been awe-inspiring for all of pre-modern human history, essentially functioning as “their Netflix,” and how it drove myth-making and religious feeling.

From there, Gordo steers into flat earth theory — partly as a joke, partly as a genuine cultural observation — marveling at how passionate its adherents are about something that, even if true, would barely change their daily lives. The moon landing conspiracy angle is addressed with the logical rebuttal of “why fake it six times?” and George drops the detail that he once brought a flat earther from Denton onto the show who has since passed away, prompting a sweet if melancholy Gordo one-liner. The segment closes with Gordo teasing a future “Birds Aren’t Real” piece, before landing on a personal Azle summer camp story involving precociously worldly fellow campers and an implied inappropriate adult-camper relationship — a trademark Gordo closing bit that is equal parts funny, odd, and vaguely unsettling.

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Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.