The Musers — 2026-03-12

The Musers — 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Thursday, March 12, 2026

📋 Segments This Day

• Ticketstock 2026 Steve from the Attic The Musers 22022026
• E-Brake The Musers 2202026

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🎙️ Early Show Analysis

Here is the analysis of this portion of the show:

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Segments That Appeared

• *Ticketstock 2026 Steve from the Attic* (00:00:00–end of transcript): A comedic pre-Ticketstock segment in which Gordo performs his recurring “Steve from the Attic” character, calling in live from the Plano Event Center ahead of the two-day fan festival. Steve claims to have tunneled underground from the studio to the venue and is lurking in the air conditioning vents. The segment serves as both a Ticketstock promotion and a showcase for Gordo’s darkly absurdist humor.

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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable Quotes

• The entire segment is a Gordo performance bit. Steve from the Attic is a deeply disturbed, Psycho/Buffalo Bill-style character who references a traumatic childhood with “Mommy,” skin suits from “harvesting,” and self-punishment rituals.
• [00:01:00] Steve introduces himself as “the Elzebub, the son of Sam, Michael Bublé” — a running gag pairing genuinely sinister figures with a banal pop star.
• [00:03:09] Steve claims to have tunneled from the studio to the Plano Convention Center “using a spoon and a pocket knife.”
• [00:03:44–00:03:49] Steve lists his supplies for watching from the vents: “My binoculars. My rolls of paper towels. My favorite Jurgens lotion.” — George and Craig react with escalating disgust.
• [00:04:14–00:04:34] Steve references the famous Charles Haley locker room story (a real Dallas Cowboys legend), then escalates it to a grotesque extreme involving a fishing line and self-amputation.
• [00:05:55–00:06:10] The darkest turn: Steve reveals his mother “stopped talking and moving 23 years ago Friday” but that he still changes her clothes daily and carries her in his backpack — a clear Norman Bates/Psycho reference played for pitch-black comedy.
• [00:02:38–00:02:41] Steve’s non-sequitur outburst: *”Hope for Luca’s return!”* — shouted mid-headache episode, a quick sports joke about Luka Dončić dropped into the absurdist chaos.

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Recurring Bits, Characters, or Inside Jokes Referenced

• *Steve from the Attic* is a long-running Gordo character — a deranged, obsessive Ticket superfan who lives in the crawlspace of the station. This appearance continues the bit’s established lore.
• The Charles Haley penis story is a well-known Ticket inside reference, stemming from stories about Haley’s bizarre behavior in the Dallas Cowboys locker room at Valley Ranch in the 1990s. George matter-of-factly contextualizes it at [00:04:25]: *”Well, that was just an old story from Valley Ranch.”*
• The “Math Man” costume is referenced at [00:05:03–00:05:08] as Steve’s disguise for walking among attendees at Ticketstock — an apparent recurring costume gag tied to the character.
• Glenn Gullitzen is mentioned at [00:04:43–00:04:55], apparently a Ticket staffer or producer, referenced in Steve’s unsettling awareness of what Craig is wearing.

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Sports Topics Discussed

• [00:02:38–00:02:40] A brief, throwaway reference to *”Hope for Luca’s return”* — a joke about Luka Dončić, implying his return to the Mavericks is a topic of anxious anticipation among fans and hosts at the time.

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Summary

This portion of the March 12, 2026 Musers broadcast is essentially a single extended comedy segment timed to the opening day of Ticketstock 2026 at the Plano Event Center. George Dunham opens by promoting the two-day fan festival — free admission, free parking, free autographs — before tossing to what is framed as a “live report” from the venue. What follows is a Gordo performance piece featuring his recurring character Steve from the Attic, a deeply unhinged Ticket superfan who exists somewhere between Norman Bates and a basement-dwelling internet troll.

The bit is characteristically Gordo in its construction: it begins with relatively mild creepiness (Steve knowing what George and Craig are wearing despite being miles away) and escalates methodically into full psychological horror territory, touching on childhood trauma, a taxidermied or Weekend at Bernie’s-style deceased mother, skin suits made from “harvesting,” and self-flagellation. The hosts — George and Craig — play their straight-man roles effectively, reacting with genuine-sounding disgust and bewilderment that gives Gordo’s escalations room to land. The Charles Haley reference lands as one of the bigger laugh moments because it roots the absurdity briefly in real, beloved Ticket lore before Steve immediately takes it somewhere far worse.

Despite being almost entirely a comedy segment with no substantive sports content, the bit functions as effective event promotion — it generates energy and excitement around Ticketstock while showcasing the kind of irreverent, boundary-pushing humor that defines The Ticket’s brand. The sole sports reference, a shouted non-sequitur about Luka Dončić’s return, suggests that Luka’s availability for the Mavericks was a live news item at the time of broadcast, treated here as a punchline rather than a serious topic.

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⏰ Mid-Show Analysis

Analysis: The Musers — 2026-03-12 (Middle Portion)

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Segments in This Portion

• Pre-segment banter (around 00:06:19): Brief exchange about someone named “Steve,” described as “by far the weirdest person we have on this show,” apparently located in an attic above the Plano studio. References to Ticket Stock happening in Plano.
• E-Brake of the Week: The regular segment where three candidates are nominated for the most “wheels-off” on-air moment of the week. Listeners vote by phone.
• Beer tasting aside (embedded in E-Brake intro): Brief discussion of beers being sampled, including what sounds like a malt/Christmas ale (5.9%) and IPAs. Killer comments on sitting on a patio watching leaves turn.

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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, or Memorable One-Liners

• Corby’s sneeze (E-Brake Candidate #1): Corby was attempting to introduce “Bob” on the Hard Line when he unleashed an explosive, barely-suppressed sneeze mid-sentence. George noted it “sounds like someone just stepped on the family dog.” The clip was played twice for full effect. A producer apparently missed capturing it in real time because of a quarter-hour recording window limitation.
• Craig & Gordo’s conversation (E-Brake Candidate #2, ~00:04:00): A rambling, confused exchange about celebrity ages. Topics drifted through Mahershala Ali (age 52, Oscar winner), a wrong guess of *Titanic* as the film he won for (it was *Green Book*), Elizabeth Olsen (age 37), and whether she is related to the Olsen twins. Gordo’s line — “She’s not in the Olsen twins” — was highlighted as the absurdist peak, with George noting it made the Olsen twins sound like “a folk duo.” George said he “thought about that all week.”
• “I do like the Christmas” — Killer’s beer comment became a running gag, with George noting Gordo probably says that “20 times a day” and calling it his current ear worm.
• “He has to punch himself in the uterus” — The opening line of the transcript, context unclear but delivered deadpan.

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Sports Topics Discussed

• Patrick Reed / “Russ Reed” (E-Brake Candidate #3, ~00:05:28): A host (appears to be Gordo or a guest host) accidentally called Patrick Reed “Russ Reed” while discussing Reed’s return to the PGA Tour from LIV Golf. Notes included:
• LIV Golf now receives world ranking points
• Reed has won twice on the DP World Tour
• Reed is reportedly banned from the PGA Tour until August or September
• The name flub “Russ Reed” was the E-Brake-worthy moment

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Notable Debates or Host Disagreements

• Light disagreement over what film Mahershala Ali won his Oscar for — *Green Book* vs. incorrect guesses including *Titanic* and *Hidden Figures*. More confusion than genuine debate.

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Pop Culture, Music, or Non-Sports Topics

• Celebrity ages segment: Mahershala Ali (52), Elizabeth Olsen (37), The Weeknd (36) were mentioned in the rambling Craig/Gordo exchange.
• Elizabeth Olsen / Olsen twins confusion: Whether Elizabeth Olsen is related to Mary-Kate and Ashley, and Gordo’s odd phrasing treating the Olsen twins as a performance act.

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Summary

This portion of the March 12, 2026 Musers opens with a brief, bizarre exchange about a staffer named Steve who apparently works from an attic above the Plano studio — described by the hosts as “by far the weirdest person we have on this show” — before segueing into some casual beer tasting banter involving what sounds like a malt ale and upcoming IPA comparisons. The mood is loose and comedic before the show moves into its structured E-Brake segment.

The E-Brake of the Week featured three candidates for the most chaotic on-air moment. Candidate one was Corby’s violently suppressed sneeze mid-sentence on the Hard Line, which the hosts described as sounding like “someone stepped on the family dog” and played twice for maximum enjoyment. Candidate two was a Craig and Gordo conversation that devolved into confusion about celebrity ages, Oscar films, and whether Elizabeth Olsen is a member of the Olsen twins — with Gordo’s deadpan “she’s not in the Olsen twins” becoming the comedic centerpiece and a line George said stuck with him all week.

Candidate three brought a brief sports moment into the comedy, as a host accidentally referred to golfer Patrick Reed as “Russ Reed” while discussing his return to the PGA Tour from LIV Golf. The surrounding context — Reed’s wins on the DP World Tour, LIV’s newly acquired world ranking points, and his reported PGA Tour ban through late summer — was legitimate sports discussion, but the name fumble earned the E-Brake nomination. Overall, this portion was a light, humor-forward stretch of the show with the E-Brake segment driving most of the content.

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🏁 Final Hour Analysis

E-Brake Segment — The Musers (2026-03-12)

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Segments in This Portion

• E-Brake of the Week — The final segment of the show where listeners call in to vote for the week’s best (or worst) “Emergency Brake” moment. Three candidates were presented (details of the actual audio clips referenced but not fully transcribed), and callers voted for their favorite.

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Phone Callers

• A caller voted for “the Musers and Peter Brown,” which was clarified as the Craig/Gordo combo
• A second caller (“Joe”) said he’d vote “Brady Tom” as a wild guess, and told George he’d been hearing George’s “Good morning, it’s time again” in his head for two weeks
• “Cruz” called in mentioning he and “Coach Timmy V” participated in something last Wednesday and referenced “Time Wasters Saturday night” — “going from ashy to classy” — and voted for Corby
• “Gene in Carrollton” voted for number two and told a peanut joke (“two peanuts walking down a dark alley, one was assaulted”), and mentioned he’d see them at Ticket Stock
• A caller “west of the Rockies” riffed on Junior’s apparent interest in UFO/alien news, predicting Trump would point to the rafters during the State of the Union and reveal an ET-like figure sitting next to Jared Kushner
• A caller tried to vote for “Bob Saget for being in the Olsen Twins,” which George quickly shut down
• Several additional brief callers, including “the Break Man” who wished everyone a happy Ticket Stock
• A final caller asked “Is this Gordo’s corner?” and effectively sealed the vote for the Gordo/Junior combo

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Funny Moments or Memorable Gordo Bits

• [00:06:13–00:06:39] — One of the hosts (appears to be Gordo) momentarily blanked on Patrick Reed’s name, saying “Russ Reed” before correcting himself, drawing laughs from the group
• [00:06:59–00:07:04] — A vivid line describing one of the E-Brake candidates: *”He’s teetering on a high wire between high-rises”*
• [00:09:09–00:09:12] — Gene in Carrollton’s unprompted peanut joke (“one was assaulted”) landed as a chaotic non-sequitur
• [00:09:29–00:09:44] — The alien/State of the Union riff from the caller west of the Rockies got a genuine reaction from Junior
• The hosts gently had to tell a couple of callers to “go easy” on certain words/references, adding some light awkward comedy

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How the Show Wrapped Up

• [00:11:35–00:13:02] — George declared the Gordo/Junior combo the winner of the E-Brake. The hosts then rattled off some celebrity ages in apparent reference to the E-Brake clip content (Mahershala Ali — 52, won Oscar for *Green Book*; Elizabeth Olsen — 37, clarified as the *older sister* of the Olsen twins, not one of them; The Weeknd — 36). The stat keeper (likely TC or a board op) noted this was Junior’s E-Brake win #59 and Gordo’s E-Brake win #110, putting Gordo just three behind George for second place all-time. There was brief debate about whether co-wins count as full wins — the stat keeper confirmed they do, as he “inherited the list” when it had already been evened out that way.

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Notable Quotes

• *”He’s teetering on a high wire between high-rises”* — on one of the E-Brake candidates — [00:07:02]
• *”I just can’t hear anything but you saying ‘Good morning, it’s time again'”* — caller to George — [00:08:23]
• *”Going from ashy to classy”* — Cruz, describing Time Wasters Saturday — [00:08:57]
• *”I’m not going in and counting halves. I’m not doing it.”* — stat keeper on co-victories — [00:12:45]

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3-Paragraph Summary

This final portion of the March 12, 2026 Musers show was the E-Brake of the Week segment, the show’s traditional Friday closer in which listeners call in to vote for the funniest or most cringe-worthy audio clip of the week. The three candidates included something involving golf (Patrick Reed and LIV Golf world ranking points were referenced), Corby Davidson, and a Gordo/Junior combo entry. The hosts lightly previewed and commentated on the clips, with one candidate described as always being “off balance” from the very start — a recurring E-Brake trait that the group found funny in itself.

Callers flooded in with votes and their usual assortment of tangents — Gene in Carrollton dropped an unprompted peanut joke, Cruz hyped up an upcoming “Time Wasters” event at Ticket Stock, and one caller from west of the Rockies delivered an elaborate riff on Junior’s apparent alien/UFO enthusiasm, imagining Trump revealing an ET figure at the State of the Union. The hosts had to rein in a couple of callers who ventured into inappropriate territory, and the whole sequence had the loose, jovial energy typical of a Friday E-Brake vote.

The Gordo/Junior combo won, sealed by a caller simply asking “Is this Gordo’s corner?” The hosts wrapped with a quick round of celebrity ages apparently tied to the winning clip, and the stat keeper noted the milestone: Gordo’s 110th E-Brake win, now just three behind George for second place all-time. The show closed on a light, celebratory note heading into the weekend, with Ticket Stock apparently on the horizon for the listener community.

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Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.