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The Musers — 2025-11-12

ByChris

E-Brake The Musers 1172025

Observation Deck

Fake Nico Harrison

The Ramp The Musers 1172025

Craig Goes to New Mexico

Marge Schwimdiddler The Musers 1172025

The Observation Deck The Musers 1172025

Observation Deck

Craig Goes to New Mexico

Fake Nico Harrison

The Musers — 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Wednesday, November 12, 2025

📋 Segments This Day

  • E-Brake The Musers 1172025
  • Observation Deck
  • Fake Nico Harrison
  • The Ramp The Musers 1172025
  • Craig Goes to New Mexico
  • Marge Schwimdiddler The Musers 1172025
  • The Observation Deck The Musers 1172025
  • Observation Deck
  • Craig Goes to New Mexico
  • Fake Nico Harrison

🎙️ Early Show Analysis

Here is the analysis of this portion of The Musers from 2025-11-12:

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Segments That Appeared

  • E-Brake (The Musers 11/7/2025) — The weekly Emergency Brake of the Week segment, hosted by Craig Miller (Junior) with Monty filling in for George. Three candidates were presented and listeners voted by phone for the winner.
  • Observation Deck — Gordo’s regular commentary segment, sponsored by Tylock George Icahn. Covered pop culture and a news story, with characteristic Gordo tangents and dark humor.

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E-Brake Segment

Yes. Three candidates were presented:

  • Candidate 1 — George Dunham [00:01:21]: During the previous Friday’s “Picks Against the P1” with a listener named Wesley, George got an unexplained, uncontrollable giggling fit while reading off a high school football matchup (Melissa at Prosper vs. Walnut Grove). He couldn’t stop laughing and couldn’t explain why, leaving Wesley unable to even hear the matchup.
  • Candidate 2 — Matt McLaren (The Invasion) [00:04:03]: While discussing the Dallas Stars being “banged up,” Matt accidentally said the entire team was “backed up” instead — implying the whole team was constipated — and then the crew riffed on it extensively (lower body injuries, skating slowly, white ice, wheel of cheese at dinner).
  • Candidate 3 — Bob Sturm (The Hardline) [00:05:30]: During a “This Day in History” item about the 2009 Fort Hood shooting, co-host Lando (Kevin Landrum) revealed he was actually on the base that day for training. Bob’s response was “That’s awesome,” which struck everyone as oddly detached given the tragic nature of the event. The crew then piled on with jokes before Bob deflected by going after Corby.

Winner: George Dunham, with his giggling fit during picks. This was noted as his 112th E-Brake win, extending his lead over Gordo for second place all-time behind Norm.

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Sports Topics Discussed

  • Dallas Stars [00:04:03 in E-Brake]: Briefly referenced in the Matt McLaren E-Brake clip — the Stars were described as “banged up” (the whole “backed up/constipated” bit). No substantive Stars analysis.
  • Dallas Mavericks [00:10:06 in E-Brake]: A caller doing the “Coco the gorilla” bit slipped in “Fire Nico” at the end — a reference to Mavericks GM Nico Harrison and apparent fan frustration with him.
  • High school football [00:01:21 in E-Brake]: The Prosper vs. Walnut Grove matchup and Longview vs. North 40 were mentioned in the context of George’s giggling fit during picks.

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Debates or Strong Opinions

  • During the Bob Sturm E-Brake clip discussion, Gordo [00:07:37] pushed back on the crew for piling on Bob while they themselves had been making jokes about Lando being “too high” to hear the shots — pointing out the hypocrisy of taking the moral high ground. Craig acknowledged that everyone on the station takes turns on the high horse.
  • Gordo expressed a clear opinion [00:12:06 in Observation Deck] that Delta should have given the affected passenger a $500 voucher rather than 5,000 miles (~$50), calling the corporate apology hollow and formulaic.

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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable Quotes

  • George’s giggling fit [00:01:21]: The replay of George laughing uncontrollably for several minutes over a mundane high school football matchup, with Wesley saying “I couldn’t catch the matchup from your laugh,” was a highlight. Craig’s line — “The way you’re laughing about this makes me want to take Walnut Grove” — landed well.
  • Matt’s “backed up” Stars bit [00:04:03]: Extended riff on the entire Stars team being constipated, with jokes about skating slowly on white ice, lower body injuries, and “a wheel of cheese at team dinner.”
  • Bob’s “That’s awesome” [00:05:55]: The clip of Bob responding to the Fort Hood story with “That’s awesome” and the ensuing chaos — including jokes about Lando being “too high” to hear shots and Bob pivoting to attack Corby — was played for laughs.
  • Gordo’s Chelsea Hotel tangent [00:03:02 in Observation Deck]: Gordo revealed he spent Y2K night at the Chelsea Hotel in the room next to where Sid Vicious killed Nancy Spungen, describing it as needing to “be near the source of power.” Craig suggested he write a book called *The Macabre Traveler*.
  • Delta “biohazard” story [00:06:21 in Observation Deck]: Gordo read a viral story about a passenger on a five-and-a-half-hour Delta flight who was trapped in the window seat next to an elderly man who had a bowel accident in his seat. Key quote from the passenger: *”Lady, I needed an exorcism.”* Gordo noted Delta apologized with 5,000 miles (~$50) using pure corporate boilerplate language, and Craig joked the miles won’t even cover the return flight. Gordo tied it to a recurring Ticket bit about Norm’s “butt muffler.”

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Phone Callers

  • [00:08:43] Anonymous caller — voted for Bob, citing “Bob’s love of mass shootings.” Craig clarified he doesn’t *love* them, he just *appreciates* them.
  • [00:09:09] “Tiger” — a recognizable P1 who voted for George, noted it wasn’t very nice that Craig didn’t say hello warmly.
  • [00:09:27] “Coco the gorilla” bit caller [recurring character] — called from “Lower Heaven,” voted for George, and ended with “Fire Nico” (Mavericks reference). The hosts identified it as a recurring bit character.
  • [00:10:30] Caller doing “Stephen Jones” — said Stephen Jones was voting for himself (he wasn’t a candidate).
  • [00:10:45] Brief caller — asked “Are you gay?” Craig responded “No, but if I were, there’d be nothing wrong with that.” Identified as a “Norm vote.”
  • [00:11:13] “Double Fake” caller — doing an impression of Natalie Maynes (or an AI version of her), voted for George, and referenced “Cruz and Alito” and “Matt Khalil’s two Coke cans” (described as “an unfortunate story”).
  • [00:11:44] Caller doing “Norm talking to Pat Summerall” — referenced Washington D.C. as a place to “see and be seen,” voted for Matt McLaren (candidate 2).
  • [00:12:15] Caller — voted for “the surprisingly funny Little House on the Prairie.” Not a candidate.
  • [00:12:37] “Cruz and Lito” — a P1 of “Whip” (another Ticket show), told the Musers to get their cash out for Sunday bets with “Coach Timmy Veal,” voted for McLaren.
  • [00:13:09] Brady Tom [recurring beloved P1] — recognized immediately by Craig’s voice; noted George wasn’t there and missed him; voted for George enthusiastically.
  • [00:13:56] “Evil Mercedes guy” (implied) — voted for George, pushing him over the top.

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Recurring Bits, Characters, and Inside Jokes Referenced

  • E-Brake of the Week — the show’s weekly segment awarding the worst on-air moment; all-time leader is Norm, with George now 4 ahead of Gordo for second place at 112 wins.
  • Brady Tom — a well-known, beloved regular P1 caller recognized instantly by his voice.
  • Coco the gorilla — a recurring bit caller character who “signs” from “Lower Heaven” and references Dick Cheney’s mechanical heart/baboon donor heart.
  • “Fire Nico” — ongoing fan/show sentiment about Mavericks GM Nico Harrison.
  • Norm’s “butt muffler” — a long-running Ticket inside reference, mentioned briefly by Gordo at the end of the Observation Deck.
  • “The Macabre Traveler” — a riff on Gordo’s habit of visiting dark or morbid historical locations (Chelsea Hotel Y2K, Bonnie Lee Bakley dumpster, etc.).
  • P1 of Whip / Cruz and Lito / Coach Timmy Veal — recurring caller and associated characters from another Ticket show’s orbit.
  • AI/Fake Natalie Maynes — referenced as distinct from the “real fake Natalie Maynes,” a layered inside joke about a recurring fake caller character.

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3-Paragraph Summary

This portion of the November 12, 2025 Musers opened with the weekly Emergency Brake of the Week segment, hosted by Craig Miller with Monty filling in for an absent George Dunham. Three candidates were presented: George himself for an inexplicable giggling fit during football picks with a P1 named Wesley; Matt McLaren of The Invasion for accidentally saying the injury-riddled Dallas Stars were “backed up” (i.e., constipated) instead of “banged up,” spawning a long riff about constipated hockey players on white ice; and Bob Sturm of The Hardline for responding to co-host Lando’s revelation that he was on the Fort Hood base during the 2009 mass shooting with the word “awesome.” Listeners called in to vote, with a mix of real P1s (including the beloved regular Brady Tom) and recurring bit characters (Coco the gorilla, fake Natalie Maynes, Norm-as-Pat-Summerall). George won decisively, earning his 112th E-Brake — his widest-ever lead over Gordo for second place all-time.

The Observation Deck with Gordo began with a teaser about a celebrity pregnancy, eventually revealed to be Carly Rae Jepsen, prompting a full playback of “Call Me Maybe” and a brief discussion of her marriage to a collaborator named Cole MGN at the Chelsea Hotel in New York. Gordo used the Chelsea Hotel mention as a launching pad for one of his signature macabre tangents: he revealed he spent Y2K night at the Chelsea Hotel specifically in the room next to where Sid Vicious allegedly killed Nancy Spungen, framing it as needing to “be near the source of power” as the millennium turned. Craig suggested Gordo write a travel memoir called *The Macabre Traveler*, cataloguing all his visits to dark historical sites. The segment also briefly noted that Jon Stewart is staying on as Monday host of The Daily Show through December 2026.

The Observation Deck concluded with Gordo reading a viral story about a Delta passenger who spent a five-and-a-half-hour cross-country flight trapped in a window seat next to an elderly man who had a serious bowel accident, only discovering the full extent of the situation upon landing when “poop smears” were visible on the seat and the man. The passenger’s quote — “Lady, I needed an exorcism” — got a big reaction. The crew discussed how Delta’s apology consisted of pure corporate boilerplate mission-statement language followed by a 5,000-mile offer (worth roughly $50), with Gordo arguing they should have issued a proper $500 voucher. Craig imagined the passenger trying to cash in the miles only to find them just short of covering a ticket, and Gordo closed with a reference to the long-running Ticket inside joke about Norm’s “butt muffler” when speculating what Delta did with the contaminated seat cushion.

⏰ Mid-Show Analysis

Analysis of The Musers — 2025-11-12 (Middle Portion)

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Segments That Appeared

  • The Ramp (The Musers 11/7/2025): The show’s musical intro/ramp segment. Featured a custom song about “Seth Erskine’s Colt Superfan,” a comedic jingle cycling through Seth Erskine being a fan of the Colts and Raiders repeatedly. Also included a brief intro with lines about Reddit, weight, cancer, and stealing bits from Gordon Keith.
  • Craig Goes to New Mexico: Craig (Junior) recapped his long weekend trip to northern New Mexico with his family. He discussed travel during the government shutdown/TSA issues, his four-year-old daughter’s cute behavior on the plane, fall foliage (Cottonwoods), reconnecting with a friend his daughter made at summer camp, parenting moments around correcting kids’ cute mispronunciations, and “restaurant rodeo” with young children.
  • Fake Nico Harrison: A comedic bit in which a fake “Nico Harrison” (Mavericks GM) calls in on the Ticket hotline. The segment satirized the Luka Dončić trade, Nico’s rumored firing, and his apparent susceptibility to being talked into anything by Rob Pelinka.
  • Marge Schwimdiddler: A recurring Gordo character — Marge, who claims to be George Dunham’s old high school swim coach — appears to meet fill-in host Justin Montemayor (Monty). The bit involves increasingly outrageous and adult-themed comedy, with Marge pursuing Monty romantically.
  • The Observation Deck (The Musers 11/7/2025): Gordo’s regular segment, sponsored by Tilock George Eye Care. Covered Prince Harry’s apology for wearing a Dodgers cap at the World Series, which offended Canada due to Commonwealth ties, and spiraled into a discussion of British Royal family baldness and wig technology.
  • Unlabeled segment (likely end of Observation Deck or prior segment): Opening clip about a passenger defecating on an airplane seat, whether the plane should be taken out of service, and whether professional cleaning crews can truly handle the aftermath.

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Observation Deck

  • Gordo opened by discussing Prince Harry apologizing to Canada for wearing an L.A. Dodgers cap during Game 4 of the World Series. Harry had been invited by the Dodgers owner and wore the hat as a polite gesture, but Canadians — connected to Britain through the Commonwealth — felt snubbed on behalf of the Toronto Blue Jays. Harry subsequently wore a Blue Jays cap during a CTV interview, quipping that when you’re losing hair and sitting under floodlights, you’ll take any hat available.
  • The discussion expanded into confusion over why Canada and 56 other countries remain in the British Commonwealth, what benefit that affords them, and jokes about “King Charles’s sausage fingers.”
  • The hosts discussed Prince William’s choice to keep the sides of his hair while going bald on top (“the George Jefferson”) rather than just shaving it all off, and Gordo argued that British Royals should embrace full wig technology the way women do, citing Sir Elton John as a successful example.
  • The segment closed with Gordo asking fill-in Monty whether he would pursue Meghan Markle, with Monty’s bar being “a current woman with a pulse.”
  • [00:00:00] – [00:06:35] in the Observation Deck segment

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Sports Topics Discussed

  • Dallas Mavericks / Nico Harrison: The show teased at 8:15 a major discussion of reports that Nico Harrison was about to be fired as Mavericks GM — described as “one of the strangest situations I can ever remember on the heels of the strangest trade any of us can ever remember” (referring to the Luka trade). This was the setup for the Fake Nico Harrison bit.
  • Luka Dončić: Referenced extensively in the Fake Nico bit — how well Luka has been playing for the Lakers, and the absurdity of the trade that sent him there.
  • Cooper Flagg: Mentioned briefly in the Fake Nico segment as a reason Mavs fans could still be excited, described as “young, 18, promising, looks like a kid you just pulled out of a hundred-horsepower factory cab Kubota.”
  • Ed Werder: Teased as an upcoming guest for the weekly NFL insider visit at 7:55. [00:01:44] in Craig Goes to New Mexico.

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Notable Debates or Host Disagreements

  • Minor good-natured disagreement about whether airlines have professional hazmat/cleaning crews on standby for biohazard incidents on planes, or whether they just push the plane back out on schedule with minimal cleaning. George believed they have a pro crew; others were skeptical. [~00:12:45–00:14:30] in the unlabeled opening clip.
  • Light debate in the Observation Deck about whether Prince Harry needed any justification to wear a Dodgers cap given that his wife is from Los Angeles and they live there. Craig suggested he didn’t need a reason. [~00:02:28–00:02:33] in Observation Deck.

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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable One-Liners

  • Fake Nico Harrison: The impersonator plays Nico as a man who compliments every question as “the greatest question of all time” or variants thereof. He claims to have received Hurricane Harbor passes as a hidden component of the Luka trade. He describes Rob Pelinka inviting him to a “break dancing competition at a nursing home” and asking him to “club an elderly on the back of a head with a K-pop demon hunter themed tie” and “fling my dung at a passing priest.” He also describes a medical condition where “water accumulates in my bladder and turns yellow” — leading George to point out that’s just urination.
  • Fake Nico on the Luka trade: “You basically have to find an ignorant or gullible GM that you can sweet talk into trading them away to you, so that’s just hard to find.” [~00:02:08–00:02:17]
  • Cooper Flagg description: “He looks like a kid you just pulled out of a hundred-horsepower factory cab Kubota.” [~00:08:27–00:08:36]
  • Marge Schwimdiddler: Marge claims George “looked like he had a joey tucked into his Speedos — a full-grown baby kangaroo just trying to kick its way out.” She lists her erotic history with teenage George including “breath play, pressure play, CNC, breeding kink, free use” and notes “we would also go to the movies.” She claims George broke up with her by hiring a water buffalo to catapult her off the roof of a field house, paralyzing her. She offers Monty a French kiss on air, apparently to his enjoyment.
  • Gordo on plane seat: Suggests the contaminated seat be “retired like a number — a guy had a terrible accident there.” [~00:14:05–00:14:10]
  • Gordo on the flotation device: Notes that if the plane ditches in the ocean, you’d have to use that seat cushion as a flotation device “with a tiger shark tugging at your metatarsals.” [~00:14:18–00:14:25]
  • Craig’s daughter on the plane: After 90 minutes in the air beginning descent, she asks “Are we still in Dallas?” Craig replies: “If we’re still in Dallas, then we don’t have a very good pilot.” [~00:03:27–00:03:45]
  • Gordo on British Royals: “Why can’t William just come in some days looking like a member of 1987 Whitesnake and other days with a Jackie Chan-looking hairpiece?” [~00:04:43–00:04:48]

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Guests or Special Visitors

  • “Marge Schwimdiddler” — Gordo’s recurring character, George’s fictional former high school swim coach. Appeared to meet fill-in host Justin Montemayor. [Marge Schwimdiddler segment]
  • “Fake Nico Harrison” — A comedic impersonator portraying Mavericks GM Nico Harrison called in on the Ticket hotline. [Fake Nico Harrison segment]
  • Justin Montemayor (“Monty”) — Sitting in for George Dunham, referenced as being from “The Sweet Spot / Work in Progress” on The Ticket. [00:00:02] in Marge Schwimdiddler segment.

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Pop Culture, Music, and Non-Sports Topics

  • Prince Harry / British Royal Family: Main topic of the Observation Deck — Harry’s Dodgers cap apology, the British Commonwealth, Canadian sensitivity, Prince William’s baldness, Royal wig technology, Sir Elton John as a wig precedent.
  • Bluey: Craig’s daughter was pretending to read a Bluey book on the trip, making up her own narrative as she flipped the pages. A short audio clip of her was played on air. [~00:06:49–00:07:07] in Craig Goes to New Mexico.
  • Government shutdown / TSA / Air traffic control: Craig noted that TSA workers were not being paid during the government shutdown, praised them for working through it, and encouraged listeners to thank federal workers at airports. [~00:02:06–00:02:24] in Craig Goes to New Mexico.
  • Parenting / child development: Extended discussion about the cuteness of four-year-old mispronunciations (e.g., “head for” instead of “forehead”), whether to correct them or let them persist, and “restaurant rodeo” with young children. [~00:05:35–00:09:31] in Craig Goes to New Mexico.
  • Veterans Day: Briefly acknowledged at the top of the Fake Nico segment: “It’s Veterans Day today. It’s 11-11. It’s also Danny White Day.” [00:00:00–00:00:06] in Fake Nico Harrison.

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Three-Paragraph Summary

This portion of The Musers opened with the tail end of a segment (likely the Observation Deck from an earlier date) about a passenger defecating on an airplane seat, with the hosts debating whether such a plane should be professionally decontaminated, taken out of service, or have the seat “retired like a jersey number.” The main programming then got underway with Craig Miller recounting his long weekend trip to northern New Mexico with his family during the Cowboys bye week. He described smooth travel despite the government shutdown affecting TSA staffing, beautiful fall Cottonwood colors, a play date between his four-year-old daughter and a friend she made at summer camp, and charming parenting moments including his daughter’s mispronunciations, her improvised Bluey storytelling on the flight, and the chaos of dining out with multiple young children — which he dubbed “restaurant rodeo.”

The sports content centered almost entirely on the Dallas Mavericks and the looming firing of GM Nico Harrison. The show teased a full discussion of the situation and then delivered it through a satirical “Fake Nico Harrison” phone call bit, in which an impersonator played Nico as a hapless yes-man who compliments every question as “the greatest of all time,” inadvertently admits the Luka trade was terrible, claims to have received Hurricane Harbor passes as secret trade compensation, and describes Rob Pelinka talking him into increasingly bizarre and absurd scenarios. The bit skewered both Harrison’s real-world reputation for being outmaneuvered in the Luka deal and the ongoing “Fire Nico” chants from Mavs fans, with Harrison’s character mishearing them as “Hire Nico” — to coach as well as GM.

The comedy segments rounded out this portion of the show. Gordo’s Observation Deck covered Prince Harry’s apology to Canada for wearing a Dodgers cap at the World Series, which spiraled into a broader discussion of the British Commonwealth, royal baldness, and Gordo’s pitch for the Royals to adopt full wig technology. The Marge Schwimdiddler segment featured Gordo’s recurring character — George’s fictional former high school swim coach — meeting fill-in host Justin Montemayor and pursuing him with increasingly outrageous and adult-themed come-ons, including her origin story of being catapulted off a field house roof by a water buffalo that George hired to break up with her. Monty’s game participation in the bit, including an on-air kiss with the character, drew genuine laughs from the hosts.

🏁 Final Hour Analysis

Analysis: The Musers — 2025-11-12 (Final Portion)

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Segments That Appeared

  • Observation Deck [00:00:00 of that segment]: Gordo’s regular comedic/pop culture commentary segment, sponsored by Tylock George Icahn. Covered Carly Rae Jepsen’s pregnancy announcement, Jon Stewart’s return/extension on *The Daily Show*, and a viral story about a Delta passenger seated next to an incontinent elderly man on a cross-country flight.
  • Craig Goes to New Mexico [00:00:00 of that segment]: Craig (Junior) recounted his long weekend trip to northern New Mexico with his family during the Cowboys bye week. He discussed smooth travel despite government/TSA disruptions, fall foliage, his four-year-old daughter’s personality and voice, a playdate reunion between his daughter and a summer camp friend, and the chaos of dining out with multiple young children.
  • Fake Nico Harrison [00:00:00 of that segment]: A Gordo-voiced comedic bit in which a fake “Nico Harrison” calls in to the show to address the swirling rumors about his imminent firing as Mavericks GM. The segment satirizes the Luka Dončić trade and Nico’s perceived gullibility in dealing with Lakers GM Rob Pelinka.
  • Pre-Observation Deck chatter [00:06:39 opening]: A brief comedic exchange (likely the tail end of a prior segment) involving a character named “Monty,” Meghan Markle, and a riff on 2025 sex trends read aloud — specifically erogenous zones and “the year of Uranus.”

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Sports Topics Discussed

  • Dallas Mavericks / Nico Harrison firing rumors [Fake Nico Harrison segment, 00:00:00]: The segment is built around reported rumors that Nico Harrison is about to be fired by Mavericks ownership, just months after the blockbuster Luka Dončić trade to the Lakers. The hosts note the team’s poor offensive start and the “Fire Nico” chants at games.
  • Luka Dončić’s performance with the Lakers: Briefly mentioned — “Fake Nico” acknowledges Luka has been playing well in LA and sardonically claims credit for how well the trade worked out *for Los Angeles*.
  • Cooper Flagg: Mentioned by “Fake Nico” as a silver lining for the Mavericks — young, promising, though humorously described as looking like he was “pulled out of a 100 horsepower factory cab Kubota.”
  • Cowboys bye week: Referenced as context for why multiple Ticket hosts/contributors (Craig, George, Ed Werder, Bob) were traveling or taking time off [Craig Goes to New Mexico, 00:00:38–01:04].
  • Ed Werder visit: Teased at 7:55 for a weekly football segment with the insider [00:00:04].

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Strong Predictions or Bold Takes

  • Craig [Craig Goes to New Mexico, 00:01:09]: Predicted that despite concerns about TSA/air traffic control disruptions during a government budget crisis, American Airlines flights were running smoothly — attributing lighter airport crowds to mass cancellations affecting other travelers.
  • Gordo [Observation Deck, ~00:12:03–00:13:54]: Strongly opined that Delta’s apology of 5,000 miles (~$50 value) was wholly inadequate for the passenger who endured a cross-country flight next to a man with a fecal accident, arguing a $500 travel voucher would be the minimum appropriate response. Also insisted the contaminated seat cushion could not simply be cleaned and should be permanently retired from service.

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Funny Moments or Memorable Gordo Bits

  • Carly Rae Jepsen pregnancy intro [Observation Deck, 00:00:04–01:06]: Gordo teased the Carly Rae Jepsen pregnancy news by playing a mashup/riff of “Call Me Maybe,” complete with sung interruptions from the crew. He then observed that “Call Me Maybe” is outdated because “who wants anyone to *call* them anymore?” — suggesting it should be “Text Me Maybe” or “DM Me Maybe.”
  • Chelsea Hotel / Y2K story [Observation Deck, ~00:03:04–00:04:30]: Gordo casually revealed he spent New Year’s Eve 1999/Y2K at the Chelsea Hotel in New York, specifically requesting the room next to where Sid Vicious killed Nancy Spungen — framed as needing to “be near the source of power” as the millennium turned. Craig’s response: “You should write a book — *The Macabre Traveler*.”
  • The Delta “human biohazard” flight story [Observation Deck, ~00:06:19–00:14:27]: Gordo narrated the viral story of a passenger trapped in a window seat next to an elderly man who had a serious fecal accident during a 5.5-hour Florida-to-LA flight. Highlights included:
  • The passenger’s quote: *”Every breath was a gamble.”*
  • The passenger’s response to a flight attendant suggesting a mask: *”Lady, I needed an exorcism.”*
  • Delta’s corporate non-apology followed by 5,000 miles compensation.
  • George’s suggestion that the affected seat should be “retired like a number.”
  • Gordo’s closing image: using the contaminated seat cushion as a flotation device in a water landing.
  • Fake Nico Harrison call-in [Fake Nico Harrison, entire segment]: Gordo voiced a deadpan, absurdist “Nico Harrison” who:
  • Responded to every question with “That’s a great question” / “That’s the greatest question of all time.”
  • Claimed he deserves credit for how well the Luka trade worked out — *for the Lakers*.
  • Said his private staircase at the arena exists because he has a condition where “water accumulates in my bladder and turns yellow” — to which Craig replied, “I think everybody has that problem.”
  • Described the Luka trade as originating from a coffee meeting where Rob Pelinka asked if he’d trade Luka for “a Snickers bar and a season pass at Six Flags” — with the key negotiating point being whether Hurricane Harbor and drink coupons were included.
  • Escalated to an utterly unhinged description of Pelinka asking him to “club an elderly person on the back of the head with a K-pop demon hunter themed tie, climb a flagpole, and fling my dung at a passing priest” — with Fake Nico repeatedly saying “I don’t know… maybe… I mean, I guess.”
  • Ended with a deeply weird coffee/drywall hanging story about Pelinka that veered into uncomfortable innuendo territory.
  • Opening Monty / Meghan Markle / “Year of Uranus” [Pre-segment, ~00:06:39–00:10:15]: Gordo read aloud 2025 sex trend listicle items to a guest named “Monty” (who appears to use a wheelchair), including temperature play and exploring the “annuity” (anus), declaring the remaining six weeks of 2025 “the Year of Monty’s Anus.” Monty’s response: “I’m starting with missionary and I’ll work my way to that.”

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Phone Callers

The “Fake Nico Harrison” was a comedic call framed as a phone-in segment, but it was Gordo doing a character voice — not a real caller.

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How the Show Wrapped Up / Previews

  • At the top of the Craig Goes to New Mexico segment [00:00:00–00:00:31], Craig previewed:
  • 7:55 — Weekly football visit with insider Ed Werder
  • 8:15 — A full segment on the Nico Harrison firing rumors, which Craig called “one of the strangest situations I can ever remember, on the heels of the strangest trade any of us can ever remember.”
  • The Fake Nico Harrison segment ended with George saying “And now he’s gone” as the character hung up [00:08:48], serving as a natural close to that bit.
  • After the Observation Deck, Craig teased: *”Coming up next, we get a visit from Mushmouth Thomas”* [00:14:32] — a reference to another recurring segment or character.

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Notable Quotes

  • Gordo (as Fake Nico, on the Luka trade): *”You basically have to find an ignorant or gullible GM that you can sweet talk into trading them away to you, so that’s just hard to find.”*
  • Gordo (as Fake Nico, on wanting credit for the Lakers’ success): *”Mavs fans are not appreciating how well this trade has worked out for L.A.”*
  • Craig (on Gordo’s Chelsea Hotel story): *”You should write a book — The Macabre Traveler — and all the places you’ve visited.”*
  • Gordo (Delta passenger quote): *”Lady, I needed an exorcism.”*
  • Craig’s daughter (playing Bluey): *”Let’s unbuckle our seatbelts, says Bluey. Then they were finally there. The end. Man, that was a great story.”*
  • Gordo (on Cooper Flagg): *”He looks like a kid you just pulled out of a 100-horsepower factory cab Kubota.”*

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3-Paragraph Summary

This final portion of the November 12, 2025 Musers opens with a brief, off-color comedic interlude involving a guest named “Monty” and Gordo riffing on 2025 sex trend listicles, before transitioning into the Observation Deck. Gordo covered Carly Rae Jepsen’s pregnancy (using it as an excuse to reminisce about staying at the Chelsea Hotel for Y2K, in the room next to where Sid Vicious killed Nancy Spungen), Jon Stewart’s extended run on *The Daily Show* through the 2026 midterms, and a viral story about a Delta passenger trapped next to an incontinent elderly man for a five-and-a-half-hour flight. The Delta story generated the most extended discussion, with the hosts debating the inadequacy of Delta’s 5,000-mile apology, whether the contaminated seat cushion could ever truly be cleaned, and whether the airplane itself should be taken out of service — all delivered with Gordo’s signature mix of absurdist imagery and genuine sympathy for everyone involved.

Craig then took the mic for the Craig Goes to New Mexico segment, a warm and personal account of his family’s long weekend getaway to northern New Mexico during the Cowboys bye week. He praised the surprisingly smooth travel experience despite ongoing government budget/TSA disruptions, gave credit to American Airlines (a Ticket sponsor), and shared charming vignettes about his four-year-old daughter: her loud mid-flight exclamation asking if they were “still in Dallas,” her improvised narration of a Bluey book, and the general chaos of dining out with multiple young children — which Craig aptly dubbed “Restaurant Rodeo.” The segment had an easy, warm feel, with George and Donovan sharing their own parenting memories, and served as a mid-show reset before the show moved into heavier Mavericks content.

The show’s most memorable comedic moment came in the Fake Nico Harrison segment, in which Gordo voiced a spectacularly dim and pliable version of the Mavericks GM fielding questions about his impending firing. The bit escalated from Fake Nico claiming credit for how well the Luka trade worked out for the Lakers, to revealing the trade was essentially decided when Rob Pelinka asked him at coffee whether he’d consider dealing Luka for a Snickers bar and a Six Flags season pass (with Hurricane Harbor access as the critical negotiating point), to a completely unhinged finale involving Pelinka asking Fake Nico to commit increasingly bizarre acts at a nursing home breakdancing competition. The segment perfectly encapsulated The Ticket’s brand of sports satire — rooted in a real and genuinely frustrating local sports story, but launched into pure absurdism by Gordo’s commitment to the bit.

Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.

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