The Musers — 2026-01-13
The Musers — 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Tuesday, January 13, 2026
📋 Segments This Day
- Observation Deck
- Touchdown Bros The Musers 1122026
- Observation Deck The Musers 1122026
- Observation Deck
🎙️ Early Show Analysis
Analysis: The Musers — Observation Deck Segment (2026-01-13)
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Segments That Appeared
- Observation Deck [00:00:00]: The main segment of this portion. Mike Rhyner recaps attending the Shaun Cassidy concert at The Granada in Dallas on Friday night, describing the show, the crowd, and a backstage meet-and-greet. The conversation meanders into discussions of other aging performers (Paul Anka, Frankie Valli, Tom Jones), and then further into humorous tangents about celebrity sexual conquest claims from Wilt Chamberlain, Gene Simmons, and Tom Jones.
- Touchdown Bros (Philadelphia Radio Parody Bit) [00:00:00 of second segment]: A brief recurring comedy bit in which the hosts pretend to eavesdrop on a Philadelphia all-sports radio morning show, reacting to the Eagles’ playoff loss to the 49ers. The “Philly hosts” in the bit also reference having just aired a Shaun Cassidy interview, mirroring the real show’s segment in a meta-comedic way.
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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable Quotes
- The hearse outside the Granada [~00:08:52]: After the Shaun Cassidy show, Rhyner noticed a running hearse backed into a parking spot outside the venue, ready to go. George joked: *”I think all the funny concerts for aging rock stars, they have one of those parked outside just in case.”* Rhyner added: *”One way or the other, right away in a hearse.”*
- George’s colorful description of Tom Jones’ “Delilah” [~00:10:17]: George said the song *”runs a jackhammer onto my testicles.”*
- Wilt Chamberlain’s day planner math [~00:14:22]: Tyler/the producer read aloud how Wilt actually calculated his 20,000 number — tracking conquests in a day-timer, averaging 2.3 women per day over a 10-day sample, then extrapolating across his lifetime. Rhyner’s reaction: *”So dumb.”*
- Gene Simmons’ Polaroid collection [~00:15:07]: Discussion of Gene Simmons keeping a Polaroid photo book of every woman he slept with, which his wife Shannon wanted destroyed and he refused. Rhyner mentioned Shannon Tweed once flirted with him in front of Simmons, suggesting she was trying to provoke Gene.
- The “Nope, but he knows I’m [blanking]” inside story [~00:12:50]: George referenced a private, untellable story about a coach’s son who, when asked if his dad knew he was drinking, responded with a variation of *”Nope, but he knows I’m [f—ing].”* The hosts laughed but declined to share the full story on air. Rhyner said he had tried to tell this story to Shaun Cassidy backstage.
- The Touchdown Bros parody [second segment]: The recurring Philadelphia radio bit was deployed to comment on the Eagles’ playoff exit, with the fake Philly hosts bickering about why Shaun Cassidy was booked on the day of their team’s elimination — a meta joke tying back to the real show’s segment.
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Sports Topics Discussed
- NFL Playoffs [second segment, ~00:00:03]: George briefly mentioned the 49ers beating the defending champion Eagles in Philadelphia, setting up the Touchdown Bros bit.
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Recurring Bits, Characters, or Inside Jokes Referenced
- Shaun Cassidy as a running Musers topic: The producer noted [~00:07:53] that Rhyner has been talking about Shaun Cassidy on the show *”for 30 years,”* confirming it as a long-running inside joke/bit, primarily that George ribs Rhyner for his fandom.
- Touchdown Bros: A recurring parody bit mimicking Philadelphia sports radio, deployed whenever the Eagles are relevant to the news cycle.
- George’s disdain for performers bowing to the crowd: Rhyner called out George for hating when Garth Brooks bows deeply to audiences — apparently an established recurring complaint from George.
- The untellable “coach’s son” story: George referenced this as a story Rhyner made him retell repeatedly, suggesting it has been a recurring inside bit between the two hosts.
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Summary
This portion of The Musers opened with the Observation Deck segment, dominated by Mike Rhyner’s enthusiastic recap of attending the Shaun Cassidy concert at The Granada on Friday night. Rhyner took his sister — a fellow childhood Cassidy fan introduced to his music by their cool older cousin — and the two got blue wristbands for a backstage meet-and-greet with Cassidy himself. Rhyner raved about Cassidy’s vocal performance (noting he pitches almost nothing down despite being 68), his live bass playing, and his genuine warmth backstage. Rhyner even brought original vinyl albums to get signed, though he was too lazy to retrieve them from his car. The segment was framed partly around the long-running show joke that George gives Rhyner grief for his Cassidy fandom, and the producer confirmed Rhyner has been talking about Cassidy on-air for roughly 30 years.
The conversation wandered entertainingly from Cassidy into a broader discussion of aging performers still commanding loyal audiences — touching on Paul Anka (who has an HBO documentary), Frankie Valli (whose live performances raise authenticity questions), and Tom Jones (whose song “Delilah” prompted George’s memorably crude dismissal). A humorous tangent followed about celebrity sexual conquest claims, with the producer reading aloud Wilt Chamberlain’s absurd day-timer-based methodology for arriving at his claimed 20,000 figure, and the hosts comparing it to Gene Simmons’ Polaroid collection and Tom Jones’ stated 250-per-year peak. The whole conversation had a loose, nostalgic, Monday-morning energy typical of the Observation Deck format.
The segment closed with a brief transition into the Touchdown Bros recurring bit, in which the hosts performed a parody of a Philadelphia all-sports radio morning show reacting to the Eagles’ wild card loss to the 49ers. In a meta-comedic touch, the fake Philly hosts were also shown arguing about why their show had booked Shaun Cassidy — mirroring the real Musers segment — before pivoting to NFL talk and the Eagles’ postseason exit.
⏰ Mid-Show Analysis
Analysis of The Musers — January 13, 2026 (Touchdown Bros / Observation Deck Segments)
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Segments That Appeared
- Touchdown Bros (~00:01:36–00:06:49): A comedic bit featuring exaggerated Philadelphia Eagles fan characters reacting to their playoff loss. Hosts and callers played up thick “Philly guy” personas, debating who should be fired, whether to trade Jalen Hurts and AJ Brown, and lamenting the defeat with over-the-top emotion.
- Observation Deck (~00:00:00–end of second block): Gordo recaps attending the Sean Cassidy concert at the Granada Theater in Dallas the previous Friday night. The segment expands into a broader conversation about aging performers, Tom Jones, and Wilt Chamberlain.
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Observation Deck
- Gordo attended the Sean Cassidy concert at the Granada Theater on Friday night, taking his sister, who was a fellow childhood fan.
- He described the crowd as roughly 85% female (George’s estimate, which Gordo confirmed was about right), sold out, raucous, and “had a few pops.”
- Gordo marveled at Cassidy’s vocal ability at age 68 — singing at full pitch with almost no transposition, playing bass throughout the show, switching to piano on some songs.
- The conversation expanded to other aging performers still touring: Paul Anka (noted HBO documentary), and Frankie Valli, who George and Gordo discussed still performing in his nineties, though with questions about whether he’s truly singing live.
- Gordo and his sister were given blue wristbands by Granada owner Scott Strong and led backstage after the show to meet Cassidy in the green room — a small group of about five or six people.
- Gordo brought original Sean Cassidy vinyl albums from childhood, including one with his cousin’s name written on it in “childish scrawl,” intending to have Cassidy hold it for a photo to send to the cousin — but got too lazy to retrieve it from his car.
- Cassidy complimented Gordo on his interview questions (from the previous Friday’s show), which Gordo suspected was flattery.
- Gordo noted a hearse parked behind the Granada, backed in and ready to go, prompting the joke that aging rock star concerts always have one parked outside just in case.
- Discussion of Cassidy not touring from 1980 to 2020, with Gordo noting his return was financially motivated by his daughter’s expensive equestrian hobby and seven children.
- The segment drifted into Tom Jones — Gordo praised him (mentioning “Delilah” and “What’s New Pussycat?”), while George expressed distaste for the songs specifically. Audio of “Delilah” was played.
- Tom Jones’s claim of sleeping with up to 250 groupies per year at his peak was read from Wikipedia, leading to a comparison with Wilt Chamberlain’s claimed 10,000 lifetime — Gordo and George attempted some rough math on Wilt’s average before the transcript ends.
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Sports Topics Discussed
- Philadelphia Eagles playoff loss (Touchdown Bros segment):
- The hosts (in character) called for the firing of Eagles OC Kevin Patu and head coach Nick Sirianni.
- Sirianni was criticized for throwing into triple coverage on fourth down.
- One host defended Sirianni on the grounds that he just won a Super Bowl and benefited from Saquon Barkley’s massive season, dismissing him as a “passenger.”
- Calls to trade Jalen Hurts and AJ Brown were voiced.
- The Cowboys missing the playoffs again was referenced mockingly by the Philly caller character.
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Notable Debates or Host Disagreements
- Heated (comedic) argument over whether Nick Sirianni should be fired, with one host defending him (“You shut your mouth on Nick Sirianni”) and the other calling him a “passenger” who just rode Saquon Barkley’s coattails.
- George expressed distaste for Tom Jones’s songs (specifically “Delilah”), while Gordo defended them as great songs — a recurring dynamic of George bagging on Gordo’s musical taste.
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Phone Callers
- “Sal” (Touchdown Bros segment, ~00:04:06): A caller playing an exaggerated Philly fan character. Said he was at the Eagles game, was shown on TV crying, called for Sirianni to be fired, wanted to trade Hurts and AJ Brown, praised “Big Dom,” claimed he called out of work six times that day, joked he had “nothing left to live for” and was going to jump — then thanked the hosts for talking him out of it — and invited them over for a hang. Ended the call by mockingly asking if the Cowboys missed the playoffs again.
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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable One-Liners
- Gordo struggling to complete the idiom “couldn’t coach his way out of a ___” — first landing on “sandwich bags” before correcting to “paper bag” (~00:02:36): *”Thinking about sandwich bags, but I’m an idiot.”*
- The hearse parked outside the Granada, backed in and running after the Sean Cassidy show: *”Just in case.”* / *”One way or the other, right away in a hearse.”*
- Gordo on Wilt Chamberlain’s 10,000 claim: *”I’ve been trying to book him for the past few years — you never get return phone calls.”*
- George on Tom Jones’s “Delilah”: *”That just runs a jackhammer onto my testicles.”*
- The joke about women throwing Depends (adult diapers) onstage for Tom Jones instead of underwear.
- Sal the caller saying he got six shots of something and was spotted crying on the stadium TV, framed as a callback to the earlier Sean Cassidy interview: *”That was you?!”*
- The faux outrage and profanity during the Touchdown Bros call, playing up the Philly fan stereotype.
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Pop Culture, Music, and Non-Sports Topics
- Sean Cassidy concert recap: Granada Theater, Dallas; 68-year-old Cassidy performing his full catalog live, playing bass; backstage meet-and-greet; childhood nostalgia for Gordo and his sister and cousin.
- Paul Anka: George mentioned an HBO documentary about Anka, still performing in his nineties.
- Frankie Valli: Discussion of his advanced age and performances, with some skepticism about whether he’s fully singing live.
- Tom Jones: “Delilah” audio played on air; debate about the quality of his songs vs. his voice; Wikipedia stat about 250 groupies per year at peak fame.
- Wilt Chamberlain: His claimed 10,000 lifetime sexual partners referenced; Gordo noted Wilt died in 1999 (26 years prior); rough math attempted on his average.
- Rick Springfield: Briefly mentioned as another Granada performer George ribs Gordo about.
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3-Paragraph Summary
This portion of the January 13, 2026 Musers opens with the Touchdown Bros segment, a recurring comedic bit in which the hosts perform exaggerated Philadelphia Eagles fan characters. In the aftermath of a painful Eagles playoff loss, the characters passionately call for firings — Eagles OC Kevin Patu, head coach Nick Sirianni, and even producer Anthony — while debating trading Jalen Hurts and AJ Brown. A caller named “Sal” calls in playing the quintessential overwrought Philly guy: he was at the game, spotted on TV crying, called out of work six times, threatened to jump, and ended by snidely asking whether the Cowboys missed the playoffs again — a solid bit of local fan rivalry trolling to close the segment.
The show then transitions to the Observation Deck, where Gordo recounts attending the sold-out Sean Cassidy concert at the Granada Theater the previous Friday. He took his sister — a fellow childhood fan introduced to Cassidy by their cool older cousin — and the two were treated to a backstage meet-and-greet arranged by Granada owner Scott Strong. Gordo was genuinely impressed by Cassidy’s vocal performance at 68, playing bass live throughout the show, and described meeting him in the green room as gracious and down-to-earth. A bit of self-deprecating humor emerged when Gordo admitted he brought original childhood vinyl albums to get signed — then got too lazy to retrieve them from his car. The segment is a warm piece of personal nostalgia framed with Gordo’s typical self-aware humor.
The conversation expands organically from Cassidy into a broader meditation on aging performers still working — Paul Anka (with an HBO documentary plug), Frankie Valli (debated lip-syncing), and Tom Jones, whose “Delilah” was played on air to George’s theatrical disgust. The segment wraps with light banter about Tom Jones’s Wikipedia-documented 250 groupies per year at his peak, which naturally leads to a Wilt Chamberlain 10,000-lifetime comparison and Gordo’s deadpan line about trying to book Wilt for the show but never getting a return call — a classic piece of Gordo absurdism to close out the block.
🏁 Final Hour Analysis
Analysis: The Musers — Observation Deck Segment (2026-01-13)
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Segments in This Portion
- Observation Deck [00:00:00]: The final segment of the show, hosted by Gordo and brought to listeners by Tylot. The segment centers on George (Junior/Craig Miller) recounting his experience attending the Sean Cassidy concert at the Granada Theater on Friday night, followed by a wandering conversation about aging performers, Tom Jones, and the claimed sexual histories of Wilt Chamberlain and Gene Simmons.
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Funny Moments or Memorable Gordo Bits
- The hearse outside the Granada [~00:08:52]: After the Sean Cassidy show, George noticed a running, backed-in hearse in the Granada parking lot. Junior quipped, “Just in case,” and then riffed that all aging rock star concerts — the Stones, the Who — keep one parked outside. George added, “One way or the other, right away in a hearse.” A genuinely funny spontaneous moment.
- Tom Jones “Delilah” reaction [~00:10:17]: George described Tom Jones’s song “Delilah” as running “a jackhammer onto my testicles,” getting a laugh from the group.
- The coach’s son story [~00:12:45]: George tried to tell Sean Cassidy a story (apparently a long-running inside bit on the show) about a coach’s son who, when asked if his dad knew he’d been drinking, replied “Nope, but he knows I’m [f\*\*\*ing]” — a word that “begins with F and rhymes with drinking.” The story was too convoluted to be told cleanly on air. George noted he actually tried to tell this story to Sean Cassidy backstage and it didn’t land.
- Wilt Chamberlain’s day-timer math [~00:14:29]: Junior read aloud Chamberlain’s methodology for arriving at his 20,000 number — tracking checks in a day planner, averaging 2.3 women per day, halving it “to be conservative,” then multiplying by days alive minus 15 years. George deadpanned, “So dumb.”
- Gene Simmons’s Polaroids [~00:15:07]: George noted that Gene Simmons took Polaroids of all his conquests *before* the act as souvenirs, and that his wife Shannon Tweed wanted him to throw them out and he refused. George called him “creepy,” then added that Shannon Tweed had once flirted with him in front of Simmons — speculating she was just trying to make Gene jealous.
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How the Show Wrapped Up
The show ended informally and conversationally, with Junior wrapping up his Sean Cassidy experience by saying he had tried to tell Cassidy the coach’s son story backstage and Cassidy didn’t follow it. The conversation drifted through Wilt Chamberlain and Gene Simmons territory before closing with a laugh. Junior’s final line was essentially summing up the sprawl of topics: *”Covered a lot of ground here.”* Junior quipped he had tried to tell Sean Cassidy about Shannon Tweed being a soft porn queen, and the hosts signed off cheerfully — *”We’re very happy for you. Yes. Your Sean Cassidy experience. That’s great.”*
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Notable Quotes
- George on Delilah [~00:10:17]: *”That just runs a jackhammer onto my testicles.”*
- Junior on Wilt’s math [~00:14:58]: *”So dumb.”*
- On the hearse outside the Granada [~00:09:20]: *”I think all the funny concerts for aging rock stars, they have one of those parked outside just in case.”*
- Closing exchange [~00:16:10]: *”We’re very happy for you. Your Sean Cassidy experience. That’s great.”*
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3-Paragraph Summary
The final portion of this Musers broadcast is an Observation Deck segment in which George (Junior) recounts attending the Sean Cassidy concert at the Granada Theater on Friday night. He brought his sister — a fellow childhood fan — and they got VIP blue wristbands that allowed them backstage to meet Cassidy in the green room after the show. George was genuinely moved by the experience, marveling at how well Cassidy, at 68, still sings his original material live and at original pitch, playing bass throughout the set. He also reflected on other aging performers like Paul Anka (subject of an HBO documentary) and Frankie Valli, though those examples raised questions about authenticity that Sean Cassidy’s performance clearly didn’t.
The conversation drifted humorously into Tom Jones territory after Junior mentioned regretting missing Jones at the Granada years ago. George pulled up audio of “Delilah” while voicing his strong displeasure with Tom Jones’s catalog. Junior then noted that Tom Jones claimed 250 groupies per year at his peak — which Junior called at least “realistic” compared to Wilt Chamberlain’s famous claim of 20,000 lifetime conquests. Junior read aloud Chamberlain’s elaborate day-planner-based methodology for arriving at that number, drawing collective mockery. The conversation then moved to Gene Simmons’s habit of photographing his conquests with Polaroids, his wife Shannon Tweed’s objections, and George’s personal aside that Tweed once flirted with him in front of Simmons — which he generously attributed to her trying to make Gene jealous.
The segment ended with George trying — and failing — to cleanly tell a long-running inside bit about a coach’s son’s funny response to being caught drinking, noting he had also attempted to tell the story to Sean Cassidy backstage with equal failure. The show closed on a light, rambling note, with the hosts cheerfully mocking the sprawl of topics covered — from a 1970s teen idol to Wilt Chamberlain’s sex math to Shannon Tweed — before signing off with laughs.
Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.
