The Musers — 2026-04-18

The Musers — 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Saturday, April 18, 2026

📋 Segments This Day

• Koko the Gorilla
• Observation Deck
• E-Brake
• Koko the Gorilla
• Observation Deck

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🎙️ Early Show Analysis

Here is the analysis of this portion of The Musers from 2026-04-18:

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Segments That Appeared

• Koko the Gorilla [00:00:00]: A recurring comedy bit in which Gordo voices Koko, the famous sign language gorilla, calling in from “lower heaven.” Koko discusses her birthday, concerns about the Dallas Wings (WNBA) and Paige Bueckers, the NHL playoff bracket, and asks George to perform a Wicca ceremony to reanimate her into Aja Wilson’s body so she can attend Ticket Stock. The bit ends abruptly as the connection is “lost.”
• Observation Deck [00:00:00]: Gordo’s regular sponsored segment (brought to by Tylock-Nassar Vision and Generator Supercenter). Topics included a Florida doctor who removed the wrong organ from a patient, leading to the patient’s death, followed by extended hypothetical discussions about manner vs. date of death and whether you’d open an envelope revealing how or when you’d die.
• E-Brake [00:00:00]: The segment begins but the transcript cuts off before the full story is revealed. It appears to involve a classroom incident with boys dressing in overalls for a school production.

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Sports Topics Discussed

• Dallas Wings / WNBA [Koko segment]: Koko expressed concern about Paige Bueckers joining the Dallas Wings and being in a relationship with Aja Wilson, worrying the pairing could destabilize the team (“things go non-north and Dallas wing implode”).
• Dallas Mavericks [Koko segment]: Koko referenced Luka Dončić, calling him “no longer unbranded horse,” a reference to his trade away from Dallas.
• Dallas Stars / NHL Playoffs [Koko segment]: Koko complained that the NHL playoff bracket is “stupid” and that the Stars shouldn’t have to face Minnesota and Colorado in the first and second rounds respectively.
• Masters / Golf [Observation Deck]: Multiple passing references to Rory McIlroy going “back to back” and doing something only Jack Nicklaus, Tiger Woods, and Nick Faldo had done. Jim Nance (CBS golf announcer) was a recurring comedic reference throughout the Observation Deck segment.

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Debates or Strong Opinions

• [Observation Deck, ~00:07:35]: Gordo said he would prefer the slow six-month decline over dying unexpectedly on an operating table because he wants the opportunity to “wrap up his life” and say goodbye. Craig and George pushed back, with Craig preferring the quick surgical death to avoid prolonged suffering.
• [Observation Deck, ~00:10:15]: All three hosts agreed they would NOT open an envelope revealing their manner of death, fearing it would “ruin your life” and leave your “head on a swivel.” However, they agreed they WOULD open an envelope revealing the date of death, as it would allow life planning. Craig made the final call: he’d take the date over the manner.
• [Observation Deck, ~00:11:00]: Gordo posed a twist — three envelopes, one for each host, opened simultaneously but not matched to any specific person. Craig firmly rejected the idea, saying he did not want Gordo involved in anything related to his death.

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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable Quotes

• The entire Koko the Gorilla segment is a Gordo character bit, with Koko speaking in broken, simplified language (“Coco have announcement,” “Coco concern has about ball ball in basket sport player Paige Becker”). The bit includes Koko complaining that lower heaven is full of “too many school shooter and Betty White,” and that it is inexplicably hot.
• Koko asking George to perform a Wicca ceremony to reanimate her into Aja Wilson’s body so she could attend Ticket Stock was a highlight of the bit.
• Koko’s farewell as the “connection” drops: *”boy take care we lost them happy birthday her”* [Koko segment, ~00:04:16].
• The recurring Jim Nance funeral home joke in the Observation Deck — the hosts kept inserting Jim Nance as a solemn announcer greeting the dead at the pearly gates, then pivoting to Masters commentary on the recently deceased. Example: *”I’m sorry to hear about your loved one, but Rory did something that only Jack, Tiger, and my old colleague Nick Faldo had done.”* [~00:06:36]
• Gordo on Chewbacca’s golf game: *”He’s like that gorilla on the tee box that hits it 500 yards… lines up for his five-footer and hits it another 500 yards.”* [~00:10:00]
• Craig on Gordo knowing his manner of death but not sharing it: *”I don’t want you a part of anything that has to do with my situation. I don’t like you having a leg up on us for any reason.”* And: *”If you do come to my memorial service or funeral, you will be frisked.”* [~00:13:53–00:14:06]
• The doctor story included a funny aside where the doctor noted he had removed a “rather large spleen” — when in fact it was the liver, which is far larger than the spleen.

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Recurring Bits, Characters, or Inside Jokes Referenced

• Koko the Gorilla: A recurring Gordo character — the famous real-life sign language gorilla reimagined as a caller from the afterlife.
• Jim Nance as a recurring comedic figure: Used throughout the Observation Deck as a solemn, overly formal announcer who inserts Masters commentary into grief situations. This appears to be a long-running bit on The Ticket.
• “Lower heaven”: The Koko bit establishes a comedic cosmology where Koko resides in “lower heaven,” a hot, sulfurous place populated by school shooters and Betty White.
• Ticket Stock: Referenced by Koko as an event she wants to attend by reanimating into Aja Wilson’s body — an apparent recurring Ticket event.
• The Observation Deck: Gordo’s regular sponsored segment, brought to you by Tylock-Nassar Vision and Generator Supercenter.
• “Ducky Bob’s”: Mentioned casually by Gordo in the death date hypothetical — appears to be a local Dallas reference or inside joke.
• The Time Wasters: Referenced in the Observation Deck intro discussion about the Duran Duran song “Rio” — apparently a Ticket band that performed the song at Ticket Stock.

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Summary

This portion of The Musers opens with one of Gordo’s signature absurdist character bits — Koko the sign language gorilla calling in from “lower heaven” to wish the show well on her birthday, complain about the heat and the company (school shooters and Betty White), and raise legitimate Dallas sports concerns in broken gorilla syntax. Koko fretted over Paige Bueckers joining the Wings and potentially destabilizing the team through her rumored relationship with Aja Wilson, lamented Luka’s departure from Dallas, and criticized the NHL playoff bracket for the Stars’ difficult draw. The bit ended with Koko’s connection dropping mid-thought, a comedic non-ending that is characteristic of the format.

The Observation Deck segment took a darker but funny turn, with Gordo presenting the story of a Florida doctor, Dr. Sheknovsky, who removed a patient’s liver instead of the spleen during a laparoscopic splenectomy, killing the 70-year-old man. Adding to the horror, the same doctor had previously removed part of a patient’s pancreas instead of the adrenal gland — and explained it away by claiming the adrenal gland had “migrated.” Throughout the story, the hosts kept breaking into a Jim Nance funeral home joke, imagining the CBS golf announcer solemnly comforting grieving families before pivoting to Masters commentary about Rory McIlroy’s historic win.

The doctor story spiraled into a rich set of philosophical hypotheticals about death — would you rather have a slow decline or a sudden surgical death? Would you open an envelope revealing your manner of death? Your date of death? What if all three hosts had envelopes but they weren’t labeled? The hosts landed on a consensus that the date of death envelope is preferable to the manner of death envelope, as it allows for planning, while Craig firmly rejected any scenario in which Gordo had knowledge of Craig’s fate that Craig himself did not. The E-Brake segment began at the end of the transcript but was cut off before the full story was told.

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⏰ Mid-Show Analysis

I notice the transcript cuts off and is incomplete, but let me analyze what’s actually present.

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Segments Appearing in This Portion

• E-Brake (~00:00:50): The weekly segment where listeners vote on which Ticket staffer or personality made the biggest on-air blunder. Three candidates were presented this week: EA Azad (confusing ticker read), Bob from the Hard Line (jumping a segment cue an hour early), and Davey Lane (getting “bubble voice” on air).
• Koko the Gorilla segment (second section, ~00:00:00): A recurring Gordo bit featuring “Coco the sign language gorilla” calling in from “lower heaven.” The segment appears to have been cut off mid-conversation.

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Was There an E-Brake Segment?

• Yes. Three candidates:
• EA Azad (~00:01:20): Botched a ticker read — gave a score without naming both teams, then confused the playoff seeding explanation, saying “the winner will take on the eighth seed, the winner of the 7-8 matchup for the eighth seed.”
• Bob (~00:02:57): Jumped his segment cue an hour early on the Hard Line, confidently starting a D&M Auto Leasing read before being told he was too early, then fumbling the restart.
• Davey Lane (~00:04:52): Got hit with “bubble voice” mid-conversation while discussing Sedona — his voice cracked into a resonant bubble tone on the phrase “nothing but med spas,” which the hosts found hilarious.

• Winner: EA Azad, with his fifth all-time E-Brake win (~00:11:49), moving him out of a tie with Elf, Sean, and Matt McLaren. He is now described as “135 behind Norm” all-time.

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Phone Callers

• First caller (~00:07:33): Asked if EA messed up because “he’s gay — I mean, blind.” Quickly dismissed.
• “Rory McIlroy” (~00:07:54): A caller doing a comedic Rory McIlroy impression, “fresh off a second green jacket,” ribbing the hosts about beating Scottie Scheffler. Voted for “the bubbles” (Davey Lane).
• Caller voting EA (~00:08:42): Short call, voted for EA / “the seven and eight seed.”
• “Coco” (~00:08:48): A regular caller doing the Coco the gorilla bit, speaking in broken third-person gorilla-speak. Reported being sad (“face rain”) about not getting through the previous week. Pitched a prank idea: having all humans dress in ape costumes before the Artemis astronauts returned to Earth. Voted for “overconfident Bob,” invoking “the spirit of Gus Grissom.”
• Complimentary caller (~00:09:43): A regular who had called the previous week to compliment the show, said friends heard it and wanted to thank them again. Voted for EA.
• “Daisy Lane” voter (~00:10:08): Short call, voted for Davey Lane.
• “EA Sports” voter (~00:10:16): Called EA “EA Sports,” which the hosts enjoyed.
• Strange caller (~00:10:29): Gave a rambling non-answer listing “Ben Hogan,” “Tiger,” and “Bill Parcells” — described by hosts as “might be the strangest vote ever.”
• Final caller (~00:11:03): Snuck in a soccer pick (“Sting Royal over DKSC”) for Picks with Friends, then voted for EA, putting him over the top.

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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable One-Liners

• Gordo immediately declared he wanted Davey Lane’s bubble voice phrase — *”Nothing but… oh my God… keep talking”* — as his new ringtone (~00:05:38), and had it played on repeat multiple times.
• Gordo on other radio stations vs. The Ticket when bubble voice strikes: *”Most radio stations: ‘Hey, kill your mic.’ This is: ‘No no, keep talking.'”* (~00:06:02)
• Gordo referencing a “Scott Baio after-school special” in connection with bubble voice (~00:06:08).
• The “Rory McIlroy” caller’s self-aware moment: *”It’s such a ridiculous accent”* (~00:08:07), which the hosts found charming.
• EA Azad’s winning ticker clip replayed one final time after the victory announcement, with the observation: *”That’s why you don’t do scores live… get in that chair and it’s not so easy.”* (~00:11:40)
• EA is now described as “135 behind Norm” in all-time E-Brake wins (~00:11:54), a running joke about Norm Hitzges’s legendary lead.

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Sports Topics Discussed

• NBA Play-In Tournament: EA’s botched ticker referenced Charlotte (9 seed) leading Miami (10 seed) 89-83 at the end of the third quarter, with the winner advancing to face the 8 seed.
• Masters/Golf: The “Rory McIlroy” caller referenced Rory winning “his second green jacket” and beating Scottie Scheffler — apparently referencing a recent or just-concluded Masters Tournament result.
• Soccer pick (Picks with Friends): A caller picked Sting Royal over DKSC.

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Non-Sports / Pop Culture Topics

• Bubble voice: Extended comedic discussion of the phenomenon of microphone/vocal resonance (“bubble voice”) striking broadcasters unexpectedly on air.
• Sedona: Briefly mentioned as a destination that is “always wife-driven,” with the bubble voice striking mid-conversation on that topic.
• Artemis astronaut prank: The “Coco” caller proposed the global prank of everyone dressing in ape costumes to greet returning Artemis astronauts — a *Planet of the Apes* reference.
• Shakespeare (~00:00:18, likely tail end of prior Observation Deck segment): Brief discussion of a principal making a unilateral decision about students playing cross-gender roles in a school play, with a host noting that cross-gender casting “dates back to Shakespearean times.”

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3-Paragraph Summary

This portion of the April 18, 2026 Musers opens at the tail end of what appears to be an Observation Deck discussion about a school principal banning cross-gender casting in a play, with a host defending the practice by invoking Shakespearean tradition. The show then transitions into the E-Brake segment, sponsored by Advanced Hair Restoration. Three candidates were nominated: EA Azad for a hilariously convoluted ticker read in which he gave Charlotte’s score without naming their opponent and then tangled himself in playoff seeding language; Bob from the Hard Line for confidently launching into a D&M Auto Leasing read a full hour before his segment; and Davey Lane for being ambushed by “bubble voice” mid-sentence while discussing Sedona, producing the phrase “nothing but med spas” in a deep resonant tone that immediately became a running joke.

Listener calls flooded in to vote, producing several memorable moments. A caller doing a committed — if self-admittedly ridiculous — Rory McIlroy impression phoned in to gloat about “his second green jacket” and beating Scottie Scheffler before voting for the bubble voice. The beloved recurring caller “Coco” (performing as the late Koko the gorilla in third-person broken speech) reported “face rain” over missing the show the previous week, pitched a Planet of the Apes–style prank involving Artemis astronauts and ape costumes, and voted for “overconfident Bob” in the spirit of Gus Grissom. One caller provided what hosts called “the strangest vote ever,” listing Ben Hogan, Tiger, and Bill Parcells with no further explanation.

EA Azad ultimately won the E-Brake, claiming his fifth all-time victory and moving out of a tie with several other Ticket staffers — though the hosts noted he remains 135 wins behind the all-time leader, Norm Hitzges. The segment closed with EA’s winning clip played one final time and a wry observation that reading live scores is harder than it looks. The transcript then begins a new segment featuring the show’s recurring “Coco the sign language gorilla” bit, with Gordo performing Coco calling in from “lower heaven,” though that segment appears to be cut off early in the provided transcript.

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🏁 Final Hour Analysis

Analysis: The Musers — 2026-04-18 (Final Portion)

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Segments in This Portion

• Koko the Gorilla (~00:00:27–00:04:16): A recurring Musers comedy bit in which Gordo voices Koko the Gorilla (the famous sign-language gorilla, now deceased) as if she’s sending a message from “Lower Heaven.” Koko wishes herself a happy birthday, complains about her afterlife accommodations (sulfur pits, school shooters, Betty White), and raises concerns about Dallas Wings star Paige Bueckers and her relationship with A’ja Wilson, Luka’s post-trade status, and the NHL playoff bracket. The segment ends abruptly mid-transmission.

• Observation Deck (~00:00:00–00:15:16): Gordo’s signature closing segment, sponsored by Tylock-Nasr Vision and Generator Supercenter. This edition covered a Florida medical malpractice story involving a doctor who removed the wrong organ, which spiraled into an extended philosophical hypothetical about preferred manner of death and whether you’d open an envelope revealing how or when you die.

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Sports Topics Discussed

• Dallas Wings / WNBA (~00:01:55–00:02:42, Koko segment): Koko expressed concern about Paige Bueckers (referred to haltingly as “ball ball in basket sport player”) joining Dallas, and whether her relationship with A’ja Wilson could cause instability for the franchise.
• Luka Dončić (~00:03:15–00:03:23, Koko segment): Koko referenced Luka’s trade away from Dallas, calling him “no longer unbranded horse,” lamenting his departure.
• NHL Playoffs (~00:03:31–00:03:45, Koko segment): Koko complained that the playoff bracket is “stupid,” specifically that the Stars shouldn’t have to face Minnesota and Colorado in the first round — though the hosts corrected that Colorado would only come in the second round.
• Rory McIlroy / Masters (~00:04:03–00:06:36, Observation Deck): Multiple passing references to Rory McIlroy apparently winning back-to-back Masters titles, delivered as a running Jim Nantz funeral home joke.

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Funny Moments or Memorable Gordo Bits

• Koko in Lower Heaven (~00:00:27–00:04:16): The entire Koko bit is a sustained absurdist comedy piece. Highlights include:
• Koko complaining that Lower Heaven is “full of too many school shooter and Betty White.”
• Koko not having the sign-language word for “south,” only “north.”
• Koko requesting George perform a Wicca ceremony to reanimate her into the body of A’ja Wilson so she can attend Ticket Stock.
• Koko calling the newspaper a “wood pulp printed word rectangle.”

• Jim Nantz Funeral Home Running Gag (~00:04:03–00:06:41, Observation Deck): The hosts kept imagining Jim Nantz delivering Masters commentary to grieving widows in surgical waiting rooms — e.g., *”I’m sorry about your loved one, but Rory did something only Jack, Tiger, and my old colleague Nick Faldo had done.”* The bit built across several exchanges and landed consistently.

• The Migrating Adrenal Gland (~00:05:47–00:06:08): Gordo noted that in a prior incident, the same doctor removed part of a patient’s pancreas instead of the adrenal gland — and reportedly claimed the adrenal gland had *migrated* to the pancreas area. The hosts found this baffling and hilarious.

• Death Envelope Bit (~00:10:57–00:15:01): Gordo escalated the hypothetical by proposing that all three hosts open envelopes simultaneously — but with the twist that no one knows which envelope belongs to whom. Suggested causes of death included “machete decapitation,” “killed by a Viking,” and “sex gone wrong” — with Gordo pointedly gesturing at Craig for the last one. George declared he would frisk Gordo at his own funeral to prevent any bits.

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Strong Predictions or Bold Takes

• Craig (~00:14:29–00:14:52): Stated he would definitively choose the envelope containing his *date* of death over his *manner* of death, reasoning he could plan his life accordingly. George agreed. Gordo concurred it was “the correct answer.”

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How the Show Wrapped Up

The Observation Deck — and the show — ended on the death envelope hypothetical, with Gordo theatrically claiming he actually had the envelopes in hand before the hosts shut it down. The segment closed with a string of “The end” signifiers, suggesting a clean sign-off at the conclusion of the morning show. No explicit previews of upcoming segments or guests were offered.

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Notable Quotes

• *”Coco no understand why lower heaven so hot.”* — Koko (~00:00:53)
• *”You will be frisked. You will be.”* — George, on Gordo attending his funeral (~00:14:06)
• *”We could team up against death. Gives us better odds.”* — Gordo (~00:12:56–00:12:58)
• *”I don’t want you a part of anything that I have to do in this situation.”* — Craig, refusing to let Gordo open the death envelope on his behalf (~00:13:52–00:13:53)
• *”Chewbacca has really good feel around the green.”* — Craig (~00:09:34), on who he’d want as a golf partner in heaven

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Three-Paragraph Summary

The final portion of this Musers episode opened with the recurring Koko the Gorilla bit, in which Gordo voices the deceased sign-language gorilla calling in from “Lower Heaven” — a sulfur-scented afterlife she shares with Betty White and, inexplicably, school shooters. Koko’s concerns ranged from the Dallas Wings’ new acquisition of Paige Bueckers and whether her relationship with A’ja Wilson might destabilize the franchise, to lamenting Luka Dončić’s departure from Dallas, to grumbling about the NHL playoff bracket. The bit maintained its characteristic absurdism — Koko’s limited vocabulary leading to detours like “wood pulp printed word rectangle” for newspaper and requesting George perform a Wicca ceremony — before cutting off mid-transmission.

The Observation Deck pivoted to a true-crime medical story: a Florida doctor (Dr. Shacknofsky) who was indicted after removing a patient’s liver instead of his spleen during what was supposed to be a routine laparoscopic splenectomy on a 70-year-old man from Alabama. The man died on the table, and the autopsy revealed his actual spleen had only a minor, very treatable cyst — making the entire surgery unnecessary. The story was further darkened by a prior incident in which the same doctor removed part of a patient’s pancreas instead of the adrenal gland, claiming the adrenal gland had “migrated.” Throughout, the hosts wove in a recurring Jim Nantz funeral home joke, imagining Nantz delivering Masters commentary to grieving families in surgical waiting rooms.

The segment — and the show — closed with an extended, increasingly elaborate hypothetical spun out of the medical story: would you rather die slowly with time to say goodbye, or unexpectedly on an operating table? This evolved into a debate about whether you’d open an envelope revealing your manner of death, your date of death, or both — and whether knowing was better than not knowing. Gordo escalated it with the twist of three unlabeled envelopes shared among the hosts (with “sex gone wrong” apparently pointing toward Craig), while George firmly stated he would frisk Gordo at his own funeral to prevent any posthumous bits. The show ended with the hosts agreeing they’d all prefer the date-of-death envelope for planning purposes, with Gordo theatrically pretending to produce the actual envelopes before the show concluded.

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Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.