The Musers β 2026-05-02
The Musers β 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Saturday, May 2, 2026
π Segments This Day
- NIT Brake
- Observartion Deck
- Dr Carlton Maxwell
- E-Brake
ποΈ Early Show Analysis
Here is the analysis of this portion of The Musers from 2026-05-02:
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Segments That Appeared
- NIT Brake [00:00:00]: The weekly segment highlighting the runner-up misfires, misspeaks, and stop-downs from across The Ticket’s broadcast week β clips that didn’t win the main E-Brake but are still worthy of recognition. Six candidates were presented and voted on.
- Observation Deck (O Deck) with Gordo [00:00:00 of second segment]: Gordo’s regular solo commentary segment, this week covering the Rocky statue controversy at the Philadelphia Museum of Art and its resolution.
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Was There an E-Brake Segment?
- The NIT Brake is a companion to the E-Brake β it features clips that were runners-up or honorable mentions from the week’s broadcast. The actual E-Brake winner (Bob, for an on-air fart) had already been announced earlier that morning. The NIT Brake presented six candidates:
- Matt McLaren (“Matty Beers”) β caught not listening during a Donovan-led discussion about Nolan Ryan’s career length, repeating back the exact number Donovan had just said as if offering it fresh [~00:01:03]
- “Daddy” (Jacob Dettimore) β unprepared to read his 40-liners during a live segment, making the studio wait while he searched his email, accompanied by awkward background music [~00:02:44]
- EA (filling in for DJ) β confused a colon for a semicolon while trying to correct someone else during a discussion about the Michael Jackson biopic sequel, titled *Michael: Jackson* [~00:04:44]
- Dylan Reed β described as “shaky” while doing a ticker during the Top Ten segment, pausing noticeably and describing a Dodgers home game as a “late one” [~00:06:37]
- Bob (from The Hard Line) β during the Rant Revival, while relaying a JP Morgan sexual harassment story involving an Asian man, Bob remarked “She thinks an Asian guy played basketball in college,” prompting the response “You’re more racist than her” [~00:09:14]
- Dave (from The Hard Line) β during the Rant Revival, attempted multiple times to say the word “hard” in a sexual context on air, was dumped live, scolded by Corby, and ultimately had to replace the word with “difficult” and then “Richard” [~00:11:38]
- Winner: Bob, with the “Asian basketball” comment, won the NIT Brake by vote (3 votes to 2 for Dave). This gave Bob his 8th all-time NIT Brake win, putting him 6 behind the all-time leader, Ham.
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Sports Topics Discussed
- Dallas Stars [NIT Brake, ~00:00:18; O Deck, ~00:00:08]: Briefly referenced as having just been eliminated from the NHL playoffs. The Hard Line was noted as covering the Stars’ exit. Gordo opened the O Deck with condolences to Stars fans, calling them one of the most loyal and passionate fan bases in the Metroplex.
- MLB [NIT Brake, ~00:07:14]: During Dylan Reed’s shaky ticker, he mentioned the Cubs vs. Padres (8:40 PM) and Marlins vs. Dodgers (9:10 PM), the latter of which he puzzlingly described as a “late” game despite it being a normal West Coast start time.
- Nolan Ryan / Clayton Kershaw [NIT Brake, ~00:01:03]: Discussed in the context of the Matt McLaren clip β the conversation centered on Kershaw reaching 3,000 strikeouts and whether he’d be the last pitcher to do so, with reference to Nolan Ryan pitching 27 years and amassing 2,200 more strikeouts than the record.
- College Basketball / Oklahoma State [NIT Brake, ~00:14:50]: In follow-up to Bob’s NIT Brake clip, Mino noted that right after listening to the segment live, his Instagram showed Oklahoma State had signed an Asian basketball player named Yuting Ding β who, it was later clarified, plays on the women’s basketball team.
- Pat Riley / Miami Heat [NIT Brake, ~00:07:23]: Briefly mentioned in Dylan Reed’s ticker β Pat Riley announced he would not be retiring from the Heat.
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Debates or Strong Opinions Expressed
- There was a lively debate over whether Bob’s “Asian basketball” comment or Dave’s repeated on-air attempts to say “hard” in an inappropriate context was the worse/funnier clip. Monty voted Dave, Sean and Mino voted Bob, with Jay breaking the tie in Bob’s favor [~00:14:06β00:15:26].
- Monty and Sean debated whether Corby having to parent Dave was more notable because Corby is usually not the voice of reason, with Monty quipping that Dave “forgets the rules” like a goldfish every two to three weeks [~00:13:44].
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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable Quotes
- Sean said he’s added “As I just said” (the Brad Sham-style callback) to his home vocabulary for when his wife tunes him out [~00:02:21β00:02:28].
- Monty described Daddy waiting for his email to load on air as: *”This is the number one morning show in all of America. We’re going to wait for daddy to get the music liners open.”* [~00:04:27β00:04:33]
- The irony of Dylan Reed’s last name being “Reed” while he appeared unable to read was noted: *”The irony is his last name is Reed.”* [~00:08:34]
- After Bob’s “Asian basketball” clip, Mino said “Sum Ting Wong” when the player’s name (Yuting Ding) was revealed [~00:14:58] β a moment that landed awkwardly in the room.
- Jay’s sign-on for the NIT Brake vote: *”Hey guys, this is Richard Difficult.”* [~00:14:35]
- Dave’s eventual workaround β *”You can’t even get your Richard difficult for me?”* β was replayed to comedic effect [~00:13:25].
- In the O Deck, Gordo humorously conflated multiple Rocky scenes, claiming Rocky “caught a chicken at the top of the steps and then force-fed it a raw egg,” prompting Craig to note he was now combining three separate events [~00:01:08β00:01:32].
- Gordo called “Bill Conti” (composer of *Gonna Fly Now*) a “ribby name” and suggested The Ticket should book him as a guest, noting he is still alive at 84 [~00:02:13β00:02:37].
- Gordo briefly confused *Gonna Fly Now* with another song when a producer apparently played something else, leading to a quick correction [~00:02:37β00:02:47].
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Recurring Bits, Characters, or Inside References
- NIT Brake: The weekly runner-up version of the E-Brake, presented by Monty with participation from Sean, Mino, and Jay. Features a voting segment and tracks all-time wins.
- E-Brake: The main weekly segment for worst on-air mishaps. Referenced as already having been won by Bob (for an on-air fart) earlier that morning, with a mention that Dylan Reed was “robbed by the P1s” [~00:00:28].
- Ham as all-time NIT Brake leader: Ham (presumably a Ticket staffer) holds the all-time NIT Brake record with 14 wins; Bob now has 8 [~00:14:26β00:15:30].
- “As I just said”: A Brad Sham-associated phrase used when someone repeats information just stated, referenced as an “isolated feeling” [~00:02:14β00:02:25].
- “Day one of radio”: A recurring phrase used when someone has to be reminded of basic FCC broadcasting rules [~00:13:02].
- Daddy’s unpreparedness: A recurring running joke that George Dunham (“Daddy”) is never ready to read his 40-liners and only functions properly when Craig Miller (“Junior”) is present to keep him in line [~00:03:37β00:04:07].
- Rant Revival: A Hard Line segment referenced throughout the NIT Brake clips, apparently a recurring format on that show [~00:08:54].
- The Observation Deck: Gordo’s regular solo commentary segment, sponsored by Tlaloc, NASA Vision, and Generator Super Center [O Deck, 00:00:00].
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3-Paragraph Summary
This portion of The Musers opened with the NIT Brake, the weekly segment that spotlights the best runner-up blunders from across The Ticket’s broadcast week. Host Monty presented six candidates: Matt McLaren getting caught not listening to Donovan within seconds of him stating Nolan Ryan’s career length; “Daddy” (Jacob Dettimore) making the studio wait in silence while he fumbled to open his 40-liner emails live on air; EA confusing a colon for a semicolon during a discussion of the upcoming Michael Jackson biopic; Dylan Reed delivering a shaky ticker in which he described a standard West Coast Dodgers game as a mysterious “late” start; Bob from The Hard Line dropping a racially charged comment while relaying a sexual harassment story; and Dave from The Hard Line repeatedly attempting to say an FCC-unfriendly word on air, ultimately being forced to substitute “Richard difficult.” The vote came down to Bob vs. Dave, with Bob winning 3-2 for his 8th all-time NIT Brake victory.
The segment was filled with sharp commentary and meta-humor about Ticket staffers’ recurring failure modes. Particularly notable was the extended dissection of Daddy’s on-air unpreparedness β with Sean and Monty agreeing that Craig Miller’s absence is the direct cause, since Craig acts as Daddy’s accountability system. Dylan Reed’s gaffe drew laughs for both its shakiness and the irony of his surname. The Bob clip generated the most discussion, including an unexpected follow-up from Mino, who revealed that his Instagram algorithm served him a post about an Asian college basketball signee (Yuting Ding at Oklahoma State) immediately after hearing the clip live β a coincidence that led to its own uncomfortable moment and the revelation that Ding plays on the women’s team.
The segment concluded with a transition into Gordo’s Observation Deck, where Gordo offered brief condolences to Stars fans following Dallas’s playoff elimination before pivoting to a story about the Philadelphia Museum of Art finally embracing the Rocky Balboa statue after years of tension. Gordo cheerfully mixed up multiple Rocky training montage scenes and wondered aloud if the show should book Bill Conti β the composer of *Gonna Fly Now*, confirmed still alive at 84 β as a guest. The segment was warm, casual, and characteristically Gordo in its blend of pop culture curiosity and gentle absurdism.
β° Mid-Show Analysis
Here is the analysis of this portion of The Musers:
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Segments in This Portion
- Observation Deck (timestamped ~00:02:48 and surrounding): A loosely structured segment where the hosts riff on various news stories and observations, including the Rocky statue situation in Philadelphia, a firefighter charged after hosing a cat out of a tree, and tangents about cats, declawing, and pets named after Ticket hosts.
- Dr. Carlton Maxwell (timestamped 00:00:00 in the second block): A recurring Gordo character bit in which a fictional “sports psychologist” visits the studio to help Stars fans cope with their first-round playoff exit. The segment is comedic and satirical throughout.
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Observation Deck
- [00:02:48] The hosts discuss composer Bill Conti, who wrote the Rocky theme (“Gonna Fly Now”) as well as the Bond theme “For Your Eyes Only.” One host mistakenly attributes a Bryan Adams song to the Karate Kid, then corrects himself, wondering if it was Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.
- [00:03:23] Discussion of the Rocky statue at the Philadelphia Museum of Art β the museum originally fought to have it removed after filming, it was relocated to South Philadelphia, returned to the bottom of the steps in 2006, and now the museum plans to move it to the top of the steps as part of a new boxing exhibition. An estimated four million people visit the steps annually, rivaling the Liberty Bell in foot traffic.
- [00:05:07] The hosts note that Joe Frazier’s statue will be placed at the bottom of the steps where Rocky’s statue currently sits β prompting Gordo’s observation that the fictional Rocky is being elevated above the real-life inspiration for the character, and a comedic spiral about history being rewritten.
- [00:07:37] Gordo suggests putting both statues at the top, comparing it to how Dallas put Dirk and another figure side by side. Another host jokes about putting Joe Frazier standing on Rocky’s shoulders.
- [00:09:00] Story about an upstate New York firefighter charged after a cat died β he was called to rescue a cat from a tree, tried a ladder, the cat climbed higher, and he then blasted it with a fire hose, injuring it so severely the vet had to euthanize it days later.
- [00:11:15] Tangent about whether cats will naturally come down from trees on their own. Gordo strongly argues cats are the most independent domesticated animal.
- [00:12:43] Gordo reveals he has six indoor cats and only four litter boxes (noting he should have twelve), describing himself as “a professional litter box cleaner.”
- [00:13:51] Fun tangent: A listener once named pets after Ticket hosts β Junior and Gordo were apparently both honored this way at Ticketstock. George mentions hearing of a dog and cat named “Jubb.”
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Dr. Carlton Maxwell Segment
- George introduces the fictional Dr. Carlton Maxwell, described as a sports psychologist, author, and 23-year professor at UT Dallas, brought in to help Dallas Stars fans cope with their first-round playoff elimination at the hands of the Minnesota Wild in Game 6 in St. Paul.
- The character (performed by Gordo) is cheerfully oblivious, overly theatrical, and constitutionally unable to maintain confidentiality about his patients.
- Maxwell mentions he was a consultant on an HBO hockey series called *Heated Rivalry* and is now writing a cycling movie screenplay because he loves “the costumes and the pageantry.”
- He claims his courses at UTD include *Social Neuroscience*, *Psycholinguistics*, *Illusions to Inference*, and “Jose Canseco and the Modern Male” β all reportedly full.
- He boasts of treating “over half the major Dallas sports figures,” casually disclosing patient details including Jerry Jones (erectile dysfunction) and Jamie Benn (sleeping disorders), and claims to be treating Jason Kidd for a “literal disease” β taking idioms completely literally. He recounts spending 40 minutes trying to explain “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.”
- Maxwell announces he has over 20 sessions scheduled with Stars players and personnel over the next two days, mentioning Glen Gulutzan coming in at 10 AM.
- He presents a book titled “Exiting the First Round”, described as co-written by Jake Oettinger and Dak Prescott β two Dallas athletes with relevant expertise in first-round exits.
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Sports Topics Discussed
- Dallas Stars eliminated in Game 6 of the first round by the Minnesota Wild in St. Paul β the framing event for the Dr. Carlton Maxwell segment.
- Jason Kidd referenced satirically as taking everything literally β a running joke about his communication style.
- Jake Oettinger and Dak Prescott name-dropped together as co-authors of a joke book about first-round exits, implicitly ribbing both.
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Notable Debates or Host Disagreements
- Light disagreement about whether cats will naturally come down from trees on their own β Gordo firmly says yes, cats are the most independent domesticated animal; another host is less sure.
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Funny Moments, Gordo Bits, and Memorable One-Liners
- [00:08:05] Gordo’s riff on history blurring fiction and reality: *”Rocky defeated Joe Frazier to be the five-time heavyweight champion… and that’s how we beat the Nazis in the American Revolution.”* culminating in *”And then we gained independence from India.”*
- [00:10:00] In response to how the firefighter could have gotten the cat down β one host guesses “air rifle” or “BB gun.” The answer was a fire hose.
- [00:12:15] Gordo calls cat declawing *”the male circumcision of the cat world as far as controversies.”*
- [00:14:07] Gordo says his junior high girlfriend named her dog after him, then: *”And when we broke up… the dog mysteriously drowned in her pool.”* He suggests HBO should do a three-parter on it.
- [00:14:56] Closing quip comparing the impossibility of getting a cat out of a tree to finding HR at The Ticket: *”It’s getting a cat out of a tree and finding HR.”*
- Dr. Carlton Maxwell casually listing “erectile dysfunction of Jerry Jones” and “sleeping disorders of Jamie Benn” as patients he treats while insisting he doesn’t believe in therapeutic secrecy.
- The fictional book *”Exiting the First Round”* co-authored by Oettinger and Dak Prescott lands as the segment’s punchline.
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3-Paragraph Summary
This portion of The Musers opens mid-Observation Deck, with the hosts riffing on composer Bill Conti before pivoting to the story of the Rocky statue at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. The museum, which once fought to have the statue removed as a distraction from high art, is now embracing it with a boxing exhibition and plans to move it to the top of the famous steps β while placing a Joe Frazier statue at the bottom, a decision the hosts find deeply ironic given that the real-life Frazier helped inspire the fictional Rocky. The discussion spirals into absurdist comedy, with Gordo spinning a historical revisionism bit in which Rocky defeated Frazier, cracked the Liberty Bell, and somehow helped America win both World War II and the American Revolution.
The Observation Deck continues with a story about an upstate New York firefighter charged after using a fire hose to knock a cat out of a tree, fatally injuring it. This prompts a genuine debate about cat independence β Gordo, who owns six indoor cats and cleans four litter boxes constantly, argues cats are the most self-sufficient domestic animals and would have come down on their own. The segment winds down warmly with the hosts recalling that Ticket listeners have named pets after them, and Gordo sharing that his junior high girlfriend named her dog after him β a dog that, following their breakup, mysteriously drowned in her pool, which he suggests warrants an HBO true crime documentary.
The portion closes with the Dr. Carlton Maxwell segment, a recurring Gordo character bit framed around helping Stars fans process their first-round elimination by Minnesota. Dr. Maxwell is a gleefully unethical, name-dropping sports psychologist who casually violates patient confidentiality at every turn, discloses that he treats Jerry Jones for erectile dysfunction and Jamie Benn for sleep disorders, and is treating Jason Kidd for a “literal disease.” He arrives bearing a book co-authored by Jake Oettinger and Dak Prescott titled *Exiting the First Round*, the segment’s culminating joke at the expense of two of Dallas’s most prominent athletes and their recent playoff and postseason disappointments.
π Final Hour Analysis
Here is the analysis of this final portion of The Musers from 2026-05-02:
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Segments in This Portion
- Dr. Carlton Maxwell (~00:05:56 in the Maxwell segment): The recurring bit featuring the fictional Dr. Carlton Maxwell character (voiced by Gordo), who pitches absurd fake books. This appears to be the tail end of the segment. Books pitched included *The Invisible Man* (about Mikko Rantanen’s playoff disappearance), *What’s Up, Man? That’s Really Crunk? A Guide to Being Painfully White* by Brian Schottenheimer, and *Not Gonna Happen: The Story of My Fourth Super Bowl* by Jerry Jones. The segment ends with Carlton warning listeners not to repeat his weekend mistake of “dangling his nuts over a sausage press.”
- E-Brake of the Week (00:00:00βend): The weekly segment where listeners vote on which radio moment most “yanked the brake.” Three candidates were presented this week, and callers voted live on-air.
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Sports Topics Discussed
- Dallas Stars down in their playoff series, facing a must-win Game 5 in Minnesota; puck drop noted at 6:30, with the game airing on The Ticket. Head coach Glen Gulutzan (referred to as “Glenn Goldson” in the ticker) commented that “everyone needs to step up.” (~00:06:38β00:07:01 in E-Brake segment)
- NHL playoff scores mentioned in the ticker: Canadiens vs. Lightning tied 2-2 on the scoreboard in Game 4; Penguins vs. Flyers 0-0 in the first period; Mammoth vs. Golden Knights nightcap at 9:00 PM. (~00:07:12β00:07:39)
- Champions League: Arsenal tied AtlΓ©tico Madrid 1-1 in their semifinal; PSG beat Bayern Munich 5-4 in a thriller the previous day. (~00:07:40β00:07:55)
- Brief mention of the Mavericks’ Luka Doncic trade and Cooper Flagg in the context of Bob’s gas-passing moment β Bob had been making the point that history will forget how quickly Dallas landed Cooper Flagg just three months after trading Luka. (~00:01:41β00:03:14)
- Donovan’s wife wants to see a movie before the Michael Jackson biopic leaves theaters, spurring a rom-com discussion. (~00:03:32β00:05:37)
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Funny Moments or Memorable Gordo Bits
- Dr. Carlton Maxwell closing gag (~00:05:56β00:08:04 in Carlton segment): Gordo’s Carlton character caps the segment by warning listeners not to repeat his weekend mistake of “dangling his nuts over a sausage press,” adding “in hindsight, I cannot figure it out.” Classic absurdist Gordo sign-off.
- The Didier Gaspard Maximilian call (~00:10:44β00:11:30): A listener called in doing an elaborate bit pretending to be the “French kid in Singapore” who had been jailed for deep-throating a straw β a reference from the earlier Carlton Maxwell segment. The caller spoofed the collect-call format (“Will you accept a call from Didier Gaspard Maximilian calling from Singapore County Jail?”) with French affectations (“Oui oui, Musers”) and asked for bail money. The hosts called it potentially “the best call ever.”
- Luna, age 10 (~00:09:35β00:09:57): A 10-year-old girl named Luna called in to vote, prompting a host to deadpan, “Tell your dad to stop. Tell your dad that he needs to think about how he’s parenting.”
- “Luka Doncic” calls in (~00:14:43β00:14:49): A caller pretending to be Luka Doncic voted for Dylan Reed, which the hosts acknowledged with minimal fanfare.
- The “Firing of Barry Bunch” reference (~00:13:13β00:13:28): A caller referenced an apparently long-running bit about a staffer named Barry Bunch being fired, with a host insisting “He was not fired 30 years ago” β implying this is a recurring and disputed piece of Ticket lore.
- Celebrity crush question to Craig (~00:15:09β00:15:22): A caller asked Craig Miller his biggest celebrity crush β Billy Gilman or the youngest brother from Hanson β and Craig earnestly answered “Probably Billy Gilman,” getting a big laugh.
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Phone Callers
Multiple callers voted during the E-Brake segment:
- Luna (~00:09:35): 10-year-old girl, voted for candidate #3 (Dylan Reed)
- E-Brake Man with “Bloody Murder Girl” (~00:10:04): Voted for Dylan Reed
- Didier Gaspard Maximilian from “Singapore County Jail” (~00:10:44): Elaborate prank call, voted for Dylan Reed
- Cruz (~00:11:39): Voted for candidate #2 (Donnie/the movie bit)
- Caller referencing Joe Namath (~00:11:55): Unclear/rambling vote
- Russian Cruz from Lido (~00:12:21): Voted for Bob (#1)
- “Triple Fake Dutch Pentameter” (~00:12:33): Voted for #1 (Bob)
- Tommy from Rosenaut (~00:12:56): Voted for Bob (“silent but deadly stern”)
- Caller with the 1988 Southern Conference Championship team (~00:14:09): Named the full roster and voted for #2 (Donnie)
- “Luka Doncic” (~00:14:43): Voted for Dylan Reed (#3)
- Celebrity crush caller (~00:15:09): Voted for “Bob’s Butthole” (#1)
- The “Firing of Barry Bunch” caller (~00:13:10): Referenced old Ticket lore but did not clearly cast a vote
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How the Show Wrapped Up
The E-Brake concluded with Bob (from The Hardline) being declared the winner with his 49th all-time E-Brake victory (~00:16:20β00:16:29). The clip of Bob’s on-air flatulence was replayed as the winning moment. One host noted that Dylan Reed probably deserved to win, and another agreed. The segment ended with the announcement that Razor would be coming up at 8:15 to discuss the Stars’ season ending (~00:01:15β00:01:20).
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Notable Quotes
- *”In hindsight, I cannot figure it out.”* β Dr. Carlton Maxwell (Gordo), on dangling his nuts over a sausage press
- *”That is rude for one host to pass gas while another is making a sports point.”* (~00:03:17β00:03:22)
- *”Will you accept a call from Didier Gaspard Maximilian calling from Singapore County Jail?”* (~00:10:55β00:11:01) β widely praised as potentially the best E-Brake call ever
- *”That is Bob’s 49th all-time E-Brake win. And I’m sorry, P1’s got it wrong this week. Dylan should have won.”* (~00:16:26β00:16:29)
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3-Paragraph Summary
This final portion of the May 2, 2026 Musers show opened with the tail end of the Dr. Carlton Maxwell segment, one of Gordo’s long-running comedic characters. Carlton pitched a series of fake books β including one skewering Cowboys coach Brian Schottenheimer’s vernacular, one mocking Jerry Jones’s Super Bowl futility, and one co-written with the “French kid from Singapore” jailed for deep-throating a straw β before closing with his signature absurdist warning not to repeat his weekend mistake involving a sausage press.
The bulk of this portion was the E-Brake of the Week segment, featuring three candidates: Bob from The Hardline passing gas audibly on-air mid-sports-point about the Mavs’ Luka trade and Cooper Flagg; Donovan Lewis blanking on the name of a movie his wife wanted to see, triggering a chaotic game of Password with rom-com titles; and part-time staffer Dylan Reed fumbling a ticker by narrating exactly what the upcoming soundbite was about to say, then awkwardly pausing mid-copy during a Mesquite Gun Show sponsor read. The callers were characteristically colorful, highlighted by an elaborate “Didier Gaspard Maximilian calling from Singapore County Jail” prank call that the hosts praised as potentially the best E-Brake call in show history.
Despite strong support for Dylan Reed from listeners, Bob won in an upset β his 49th all-time E-Brake victory β on the strength of what callers called “silent but deadly” radio rudeness. The hosts acknowledged the result felt like an upset, with one noting Dylan probably deserved the win. The show closed by teasing an upcoming Razor segment at 8:15 to discuss the Dallas Stars’ must-win situation heading into Game 5 in Minnesota, with the Stars trailing their playoff series and facing elimination.
Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.