The Musers — 2025-09-09
The Musers — 1310 The Ticket, Dallas | Tuesday, September 9, 2025
📋 Segments This Day
- Observation Deck
- Touchdown Bros
- Fake Jerry The Musers 952025
- E-Brake The Musers 952025
- Observation Deck The Musers 952025
- Observation Deck The Musers 942025
🎙️ Early Show Analysis
Segments:
- Observation Deck [00:00:00-00:11:03]: Gordo returns from vacation and tells about his road trip to Savannah, Georgia, where he played the license plate game and saw 35 different states. He discusses rental car insurance, scratching a curb, driving straight through to Atlanta, eating at an old “pirate house” restaurant, and his obsession with counting license plates that made driving dangerous.
- Touchdown Bros [00:00:00-00:06:39]: A comedy bit featuring fictional Philadelphia sports radio hosts Jimmy and Tony celebrating the Eagles’ win over the Cowboys. They complain about their producer Anthony (who wears a batting helmet) accidentally booking Texas guests, mock the Cowboys and Jerry Jones, and take a call from a listener whose mother grabbed a Phillies home run ball in Miami.
Sports Topics Discussed:
- Cowboys vs Eagles: The Eagles beat the Cowboys in Philadelphia on Thursday night [Touchdown Bros segment]
- TCU Football: Mention of coach Sonny Dyches and upcoming game against Abilene Christian [00:00:26-00:00:45]
- Phillies: Discussion of Phillies-Marlins game in Miami and a home run ball incident [00:05:24-00:06:39]
Funny Moments and Gordo Bits:
- Gordo’s obsessive license plate counting that made him drive dangerously, getting “right up on people and squinting” and slowing down in the passing lane [00:03:43-00:04:24]
- His fantasy about driving the rental car straight into the Atlantic Ocean at 90 mph while laughing with “complete resignation” [00:05:04-00:05:28]
- The pirate voice discussion and questioning how we know pirates actually talked that way without “cell phone footage” [00:08:20-00:08:50]
- Gordo’s confused time zone math, claiming he woke up at “1170” and “1258” to listen to the show [00:10:17-00:11:00]
- The entire Touchdown Bros bit with exaggerated Philadelphia accents and absurd details like Anthony wearing an ice cream helmet and Tony being on his “12th quintuple bypass” [entire segment]
Phone Callers:
- Silent South Philly [00:04:28-00:06:39]: Called the Touchdown Bros show claiming his mother was the one who grabbed the Phillies home run ball in Miami, describing her as having “17 sisters” there and living in his basement
Recurring Bits and Inside Jokes:
- Reference to “Baldy” filling in for Gordo during vacation [00:10:05]
- Mention of “Muse and the News” segment at 7:15 [00:10:52]
- The Ticket app listening experience [00:10:02-00:10:09]
- Tom Dempsey reference and joke about inviting his grandchildren to listen [00:09:40-00:09:55]
Summary:
Gordo returns from vacation with stories about his spontaneous road trip to Savannah, Georgia, where his obsession with the license plate game nearly caused accidents as he dangerously pursued glimpses of out-of-state plates. His typical neurotic behavior turned what should have been a relaxing drive into a captive experience, complete with rental car anxiety and curb-scraping incidents. The trip culminated in dining at a supposedly historic “pirate house” restaurant, which led to philosophical musings about fabricated tourism stories.
The Touchdown Bros segment provided classic Musers comedy gold, featuring over-the-top Philadelphia sports fans celebrating their Eagles victory over Dallas. The fictional radio hosts dealt with their incompetent producer Anthony (who wears a batting helmet for safety) while fielding calls from equally ridiculous Philly fans. The segment perfectly captured Philadelphia’s notorious sports fan culture through absurd characters and situations.
The show demonstrated the typical Musers blend of Gordo’s neurotic travel observations mixed with their signature sports parody segments. Gordo’s vacation story revealed his inability to truly relax even while away, as evidenced by his daily early wake-ups to listen to the show via app, while the Touchdown Bros bit allowed the hosts to mock both Philadelphia and Dallas sports cultures through exaggerated regional stereotypes and ridiculous scenarios.
⏰ Mid-Show Analysis
Segments in this portion:
- Fake Jerry (8:43 AM): [00:00:00-00:07:45] – Gordo’s impersonation of Cowboys owner Jerry Jones calling in after the Cowboys’ 24-20 loss to the Philadelphia Eagles in their season opener. Jerry complains about Philadelphia, criticizes the NBC broadcast team, discusses various game aspects, and makes inappropriate comments about his personal life.
- E-Brake (Emergency Brake of the Week): [00:00:01-00:10:41] – Weekly segment featuring on-air mistakes from Ticket hosts, with three candidates for listeners to vote on via phone calls.
Sports topics discussed:
- Cowboys vs Eagles game analysis: Cowboys lost 24-20 in Philadelphia, starting the season 0-1. Discussion of CeeDee Lamb’s poor performance with dropped passes, weather delay impact, and new head coach Mike McCarthy’s performance.
- Historical sports reference: Malcolm Campbell’s 1935 speed record of over 300 mph at Salt Flats mentioned during E-Brake segment.
Phone callers:
- E-Brake voting callers: Multiple callers voting for the three E-Brake candidates, including character callers like “Real Piper,” “Coco from Lower Heaven,” “E-Brake Man,” and a Trump impersonator.
Funny moments and memorable bits:
- Fake Jerry highlights [00:00:00-00:07:45]:
- Claims Jesus founded America in Philadelphia
- Says Philadelphia “smells like unwashed crotch and street food”
- Secretly sang “Die, Eagle, Die” instead of “Fly, Eagle, Fly”
- References flying Jerry Jr.’s whole school to Philadelphia because he’s rich
- Describes walking through “chunky cheesesteak DNA sprinkler” from fans spitting
- Says about CeeDee Lamb: “I’m just glad he’s catching something” (referring to criticism vs. footballs)
- E-Brake candidates:
- EA repeatedly mispronouncing “Brent Musburger” as “Burt Mershburger,” “Rent Musburger,” etc.
- Dave Lane farting during Corby’s live commercial read
- Matt McLaren confusing “Malcolm Campbell” with “Malcolm Campbell Powers”
Pop culture and non-sports topics:
- References to Boyz II Men looking like “boys to grandpas” during national anthem performance
- Jerry Jones character mentions his wife’s book club being actually a wine club
- Discussion of NBC’s broadcasting team and their past controversies
- References to Brent Musburger’s famous incidents with highlighting attractive women during broadcasts
Summary:
This portion of The Musers opens with Gordo’s signature “Fake Jerry” bit, featuring his impersonation of Cowboys owner Jerry Jones calling in after the team’s season-opening loss to Philadelphia. The fake Jerry delivers a characteristically crude and rambling commentary about the game, the city of Philadelphia, and various personal anecdotes, including inappropriate references to his family life and crude observations about the Eagles’ Super Bowl celebration.
The segment transitions into the weekly E-Brake competition, where listeners vote on the best on-air mistake of the week. The three candidates include EA’s repeated mispronunciation of legendary broadcaster Brent Musburger’s name, Dave Lane’s ill-timed flatulence during a live commercial read, and Matt McLaren’s confusion over a historical figure’s name during a sports history segment. The voting is conducted through phone calls, featuring both regular listeners and the station’s stable of character callers.
The show demonstrates The Ticket’s signature blend of sports talk and comedy, with the Fake Jerry segment serving as sharp satire of the Cowboys organization while the E-Brake segment celebrates the human moments and mistakes that make live radio entertaining. The phone callers add an interactive element, with some staying in character to match the show’s irreverent tone, including impressions and running gags that are clearly familiar to regular listeners.
🏁 Final Hour Analysis
Segments in This Portion
Observation Deck (First segment) – Ryan Baldwin filling in for vacationing Gordo discusses the Cowboys vs Eagles season opener, covering production issues, pregame ceremonies, a weather delay, and various observations about the broadcast and game atmosphere.
Observation Deck (Second segment) – Baldwin shifts to discussing Philadelphia food culture after seeing a tomato pie advertised on a home shopping channel, comparing Philly food to Dallas food offerings.
Sports Topics Discussed
- Cowboys vs Eagles NFL season opener analysis [00:00:42]
- Discussion of Lincoln Financial Field as a venue [00:00:32]
- Weather delay impact on the game timing [00:08:39]
- Cowboys road trip experiences to Philadelphia [00:03:57]
- Past Cowboys games at RFK Stadium and Veterans Stadium [00:04:42]
Phone Callers
- Ryan Nolan called asking when they would “fire that EA guy, Belichick” [00:10:46]
Funny Moments or Memorable Bits
- Discussion of Belichick’s girlfriend appearing on broadcasts with over/under betting [00:11:03]
- Confusion over announcer Brent Musburger’s name with multiple mispronunciations [00:11:23]
- Weather delay food report featuring Draymon Diggs asking for sandwiches and getting excited about Uncrustables [00:08:58]
- Baldwin’s story about Philadelphia tomato pie from a home shopping channel [00:01:01]
- Debate over whether the frozen margarita was invented in Dallas [00:06:24]
Strong Predictions or Bold Takes
- Baldwin declared the Philly cheesesteak “the most overrated sandwich in America” [00:02:18]
- Junior stated he would “put our barbecue and our Tex Mex up against anything” when comparing Dallas to Philadelphia food [00:06:12]
Notable Quotes
- “I’m 32, but this may be my most boomer take” – Baldwin on player intro bits [00:06:22]
- “We spent millions of years trying to make fire. We might as well make use of the heat” – Baldwin on cold Philadelphia tomato pie [00:02:00]
- “If they sell stuff like a subscription for pre-sauced ribs… There’s no way those are good” – Baldwin on home shopping network food [00:00:35]
Summary
This final portion of The Musers featured Ryan Baldwin filling in for Gordo on the Observation Deck segment, providing detailed analysis of the Cowboys-Eagles season opener. Baldwin covered everything from NBC’s production issues during the national anthem to the hour-long weather delay that pushed the game well past midnight for morning radio hosts. His observations ranged from technical broadcast problems to the entertainment value of player introductions, maintaining a balance between genuine sports analysis and humorous commentary.
The second segment took an unexpected turn as Baldwin used a home shopping channel advertisement for Philadelphia tomato pie as a launching point to compare food cultures between Philadelphia and Dallas. This led to an engaging discussion about regional specialties, with the hosts debating the origins of various dishes and sharing personal experiences from Cowboys road trips to Philadelphia. The conversation revealed both the hostile environment Cowboys fans face in Philadelphia and the disappointing reality of the city’s famous cheesesteak.
Baldwin’s fill-in performance demonstrated the show’s ability to blend serious sports talk with cultural commentary and personal anecdotes. His “boomer takes” on modern NFL presentation and genuine curiosity about regional food differences provided entertaining content that kept listeners engaged while covering the mandatory post-game analysis. The segments effectively captured both the excitement of football’s return and the broader cultural elements that surround the sport.
Analysis generated from archived transcripts. Hosts: Gordon Keith (Gordo), George Dunham, Craig Miller, Mike Rhyner, Donovan Lewis (Junior). Station: 1310 The Ticket, Dallas, TX.
